"John I have never in my whole life, met someone so picky about a pair of bleeding pants." Greg held out what felt like the ten-millionth pair of underwear.
"I really don't see the practicality of mesh pants." John sighed looking through the endless amounts of pants.
"John... come on, they're smoking hot." Greg said holding them out. John gave him a look.
"I'm not wearing a mesh jock, might as well not wear pants at all."
"That works too." Greg shrugged. John rolled his eyes. "Come on, what about a jock with a cloth front?"
"I'd freeze my arse off." John said feeling uncomfortable with Greg insisting he purchase a pair of arse-less pants. He knew Greg would do this. John was becoming snippy and insatiable.
"I could always keep it warm for you." John looked at Greg half-lidded. "All right, All right. You desperately need some low rides. How about these?" Greg held out a pair of low-ride bright red pants with white trim. John looked them over. They were low but they would cover his back and front.
"They're great."
"God, finally." Greg groaned. "Now back to the fun ones." Greg said lifting his eyebrows. John rolled his eyes once more. "Oh come on, everyone's got at least one pair."
"You mean to tell me you have a pair like this at your place?" John said holding up a leather thong.
"I have a piece of dental floss that leaves nothing to the imagination." Greg said. He grabbed the leather pants and put them back on the rack.
"But what's the purpose?"
"Quick access." Greg looked John over. "So that's what you're getting, the one pair?" John nodded. "Wanna take a look at the sex toys?"
"Seen enough flying dildos for a lifetime, thank you, but no." John said giving the red pants to Greg.
"Sometimes they're good for a laugh." Greg suggested.
It's all fun and games until John gets a butt plug wedged up his arse.
"Don't need toys, got a boyfriend, remember?" John said patting Greg's shoulder. Greg grinned. "Now come on, I'm starved."
"Yeah, noticed you getting a bit cranky." Greg said with a sigh.
"Sherlock quote, unquote 'made eggs' for breakfast, ate my bacon on the way up the stairs, then proceeded to eat the eggs on my bed, in front of me." John rubbed his forehead which was beginning to ache.
"Mm, champagne on an empty stomach, never any good." Greg grabbed the mesh jock strap once more. "Getting these, just in case." John's groaned but he didn't have the energy to fight it.
Maybe some food will do me some good.
They paid for the pants and by the time they made it outside John was light-headed. Greg pulled out his mobile and started texting like mad.
"Telling the boys where to meet up. What you feel like? To eat you know."
"Unh food." John groaned rolling his head back. He was highly irritable and couldn't possibly be bothered to make a decision. He understood why Sherlock was such a huge brat most of the time, never eating, in a constant state of hunger. Sure John's mind was working at full speed but he was so hungry. Why would Sherlock choose to be a whiny and grumpy prat all the time?
John couldn't possibly channel his hunger to anything productive, like Sherlock could. He could only think of food. He was losing patience fast.
"There's a diner, Old Compton Street, can you make it?"
"Unh, how far's that?"
"Five minutes."
"That... involves... effort." John was starting to sound eerily similar to Sherlock. He hoped Greg wouldn't call him immature and leave him in the middle of nowhere like last time.
"What you want me to do? Carry you?" Greg said sarcastically. John thought it over.
"Would you?" Greg snorted.
"You really want to attract that kind of attention?" Greg looked at John as if John couldn't possibly be serious. John gave Greg a hug tight around his torso. "I'm not carrying you, now walk." John growled, his head was killing him. The champagne was not being kind to his stomach and was making him dizzy. He clutched on to Greg as they walked, he could feel him becoming tense.
"John, straighten up." He pulled John's arms away and wrapped an arm around his shoulder to hold him upright. John threw his head back, his stomach was growling ferociously. He felt his upper abdomen cramping with hunger pains. "John, come on, walk normal." Greg whined. "People are starting to stare."
"I'm in bright purple trousers, people are going to stare."
"Yeah and you're acting like a child. Come on, you're embarrassing me." John stopped in his tracks. Greg tried grabbing his hand and John wrenched it from his grip. "John, I didn't mean-"
"I'm embarrassing you?" John said angrily. Greg gave him a pleading look. "You! You're the one that dressed me up like a boy-slut!" John was surprised at his own outburst. "I'm wearing make-up for Christ's sake!" John ripped off Greg's coat and threw it on the ground. "Look at me!"
"John..." Greg shook his head. "I'm sorry." Greg reached down and picked up his coat. "If you were uncomfortable with the outfit, why didn't you tell me?"
"I..." John couldn't think of a good excuse. He had essentially just put it on because Greg told him to. "Look, I'm just... really, really hungry. I can't think straight."
Think straight. What a terrible pun.
By the time they reached the diner, had their seats, and ordered, John felt like he was going to pass out. He held his head in his hands and rubbed his temples. He could feel Greg's gaze. John sat up. Greg kept checking his phone every minute.
Sherlock was probably bored. He was bored with or without John, but at least John could attempt to alleviate his boredom and prevent any permanent property damage. Sherlock said he had twenty different experiments planned, all of which probably involved John's private property.
The lock on John's door was a fallacy; if anything it made Sherlock more inclined to break into his room. He enjoyed a challenge. John was still imagining the ultimate password to lock Sherlock out of all his devices. He changed his passwords daily now. Sometimes he was relieved Sherlock broke into his phone because he had forgotten his complex passcodes and patterned locks.
He was starting to miss Sherlock. They'd only been out a short time but John was feeling homesick. He'd just wanted to relax, read his textbooks, hang out watching crap telly. Overall the day had been a giant disappointment.
The waitress dropped his plate of food in front of him. The first thing John noticed was the lack of pickles on his hamburger. He let out a sigh and started nibbling on the end of a fry. Greg stood up and walked around to slide in next to John on the bench seat.
"Better now?" Greg said wrapping an arm around John's shoulder. John shrugged. He felt strangely empty, though he was satisfying his stomach with some greasy grub.
John looked up to see at least ten young men enter the restaurant. They were all talking rather loudly and were laughing it up. One spotted Greg and John felt his stomach dive. They swarmed like hornets towards John.
They all packed in tight, John was being jammed against the wall. Greg pulled John up and onto his lap. John felt a rush of panic jolt through him. He clutched onto the table as more guys crammed in. He had never had public anxiety before, but sitting on Greg's lap like he was one of Greg's numerous girlfriends was making John more than uncomfortable. John felt like a trapped animal, pressed against the wall, being held around the waist by Greg.
John's head started to spin, he couldn't keep track of conversations, and introductions. John's mind was going numb and was blurring faces together. John snapped to attention when he felt a hand run down his knee to his thigh.
"Love yer trousers." The guy said with a perverted smile.
"Oi hands off." Greg growled, he shift John on to one knee.
"Forgot, you don't share." the guy rolled his eyes and let out a puff of air.
"Where'd you get this one?" asked a bloke wearing a bow-tie and driving cap. He looked like he was pressing thirty. "Can never find me a loyal one." He said pouting looking over John.
"Twinks." someone sneered.
"Looks like a real daddy's boy." The touchy one said grinning. Greg ignored them and moved John's plate closer to him and offered up a fry. John turned it down. He was suddenly not hungry any more. The whole situation was becoming overwhelming. "If only your daddy would let you out to play sometime, oh we could have some real fun." The touchy one covertly rubbed his foot against John's ankle. John snarled. "Oh and feisty."
"Back off Seb. I mean it." Greg glowered at him.
"Oh, you two for real? My apologies." He said holding up his hands, he grinned wickedly. "Pity." Sebastian leaned back. "Could have set up a play date. Got one of my own. Imported." He laughed low and menacingly. "All the way from Dublin."
Greg snorted. "This one legal?"
"You believe for a second I'd tell a copper if he weren't?" When Sebastian smiled, John felt like spiders were crawling under his skin. "Though I never would have believed you to be a chicken hawk as well." Sebastian said lifting an eyebrow.
"John's legal." Greg said defensively
"Oh just barely I'm sure of it." Sebastian conveniently forgot Greg's hand's off rule and ran a long finger up John's shin. John pulled back and pressed his back against the wall.
"Been legal for three years." Sebastian withdrew his hand as if he'd been singed.
"Nineteen?" He said with disgust. "How disappointing." Sebastian hummed. "Though, I've been known to make exceptions." He licked his bottom lip.
"Greg, I wanna go." John said feeling a wave of emotions rushing over him.
"We'll get going in a bit." Greg assured him.
"Aw, the poor thing looks like he needs to be put to bed. Have pity on the boy." Sebastian reached out to stroke John's hand. John pulled away.
"I want to go home." John said burying his face in Greg's neck. He felt a tear roll down his cheek.
"John, eat something, you'll feel better I swear." Greg said rubbing John's back.
"Greg" John started sobbing.
"God, see what you did?" Greg said to Sebastian. "Come on, straighten up John. There's no reason to be crying." He said wiping the tears off John's face. John felt even more hurt; his chest felt tight. He wrapped his arms around Greg's neck and didn't care if he was making a scene. He wanted Greg to save him, take him far away.
Greg pulled John's arms away from his neck and held him firm by the wrists.
"Enough. You're fine." Greg word's caused John's stomach to stir with nausea. His head was pounding, his eyes were burning, he sucked back tears. Greg scooted over and slid John off his lap and on to the bench. "Eat your food." John wiped his nose with his napkin and obediently started to pick at his burger.
His tears had dried but he still felt hurt. He could feel Sebastian's perverted gaze on him. John rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes. He wished they'd all disappear. He wished himself invisible. He wished Sherlock was there.
He could see Sherlock, throwing their insults right back in their faces. John couldn't hold a candle to Sherlock's whit. He was just a kid and already more brilliant than John could ever hope to be.
John nodded off without realizing it. He jerked awake with a gasp. Greg was looking at him concerned.
"You all right?" He said rubbing a hand down John's back. John nodded slightly. He noticed that the restaurant had thinned out a bit. The group of young men had whittled down to three.
"How... long was I out?" John asked groggy.
"A good hour." Greg said stroking John's hair. "You sure you're all right?" John leaned forward to see Sebastian still seated remarkably close on Greg's left side. Greg didn't seemed bothered by him infringing on his personal space. John was uncomfortable with Sebastian seated near him even with Greg as a barrier between them.
"Greg has been telling me all about you while you had your little nap." Sebastian grinned.
Greg's been telling everyone 'all' about me.
"He's real proud of his boy." John cringed. "You are such a good boy, aren't you John?" John started feeling that pang in his chest again.
"John, are you ready?" John looked up at Greg with an enormous amount of gratitude.
Oh God yes.
"Leaving so soon?" Sebastian said with a fake pout. "I hardly ever get to see my copper any more."
"Don't start, I'll see you at Joe's opening, now move over." Sebastian moved slightly so Greg had to brush past him when he stood. John slid over and tried to make his escape.
"Excuse me." He said sliding past Sebastian. Sebastian grabbed John by the wrist and pulled him in close.
"You ever get tired of ol' Greg, got plenty of room. My left side gets dreadfully chilly at night." He let go of John's wrist. John looked back at Greg who was fiddling away with his mobile, ignoring the world. John stepped back in fear, a cold chill ran up his spine. He left the diner in a hurry.
"John wait!" Greg shouted catching up to John on the street. Greg had the sex shop bag clenched in his hand. John looked at in disgust. John picked up his pace. Unfortunately Greg was able to keep up without much trouble. John stopped in the middle of the side-walk.
"Who the hell was that?" John said pointing back to the diner. His hand was shaking.
"Sebastian Moran. He's an old friend. Met at uni." Greg said looking John over. "You really shouldn't let him get to you, he was only having a bit of fun." John's face went blank.
"Fun?" John asked incredulously.
"Oh he's all bark. Really John, you think I'd let him do anything to harm you?"
Didn't exactly defend me when he was practically molesting me on your lap.
"He... he said... he kept saying I was a daddy's boy."
"John... it's just a saying."
"Yeah, well I don't like it." John grasped what it basically meant, Greg was significantly older and looked it as well. John looked like a kid in comparison. "It's just weird." John said rubbing his arm, trying to get rid of his goose-bumps. "Is he really with someone who's... you know..."
"Under-age?" Greg shrugged. "Most likely."
"Greg, what in blazes is a chicken hawk?" John frowned as Greg held back a smile.
"I don't know, bird that fancies chicken for dinner?" Greg chuckled.
"I'm serious. He was saying all this shit, half of it made no bloody sense. I just... I wanna go home." John shook his head.
"It's still early. We could go back to my place-"
"I want to go home." John insisted. "To Baker Street."
Home.