For the first time in awhile Sirius was awake for the first alarm. He saw James roll out of bed, drop and start doing push-ups. He was finished and in the shower by the second alarm but Remus was not around to make tea. Sirius got out of bed, did his sit ups and got dressed. He put on music to wake up Peter, opened the window and lit a cigarette. James re-appeared fully dressed and running hands through his hair. "At ease lads, to the infirmary we go. Bring that camera Pete."
"Remus will probably need some clothes," Peter mumbled sleepily dragging a shirt out of his wardrobe. Sirius rolled off the window seat and crossed the room to Remus's wardrobe. He took out a fresh shirt and trousers and went in to his bedside cabinet in search of a tie and socks. He found them along with a series of empty inkwells, old quills, bruise healing pastes, bottles of murtlap essence and a carved wooden dog. Sirius had whittled it for him out of a fallen willow branch at the end of second year but he had never suspected that Remus kept it so closely. Sirius slipped it in to his pocket and following James and Peter down to the infirmary, carefully carrying Remus's clothes as not to crease them.
"Why so glum?" James hit Sirius on the arm with the flowers he had swiped from the Common Room. "We're about to see something beautiful."
"What?" Peter asked as though he had forgotten squeezing the pus from six bubotuber plants and drowning a pillowcase in it.
"Vengeance," James said softly as they rounded the corner in to the Hospital Wing.
Remus was sitting in his pyjamas on a bed down the aisle to their left. On the right another bed had the curtains drawn and its inhabitant was groaning. James's face broke out in to an ear to ear grin. He took the camera from Peter and rushed up to the bed, drawing back the curtain and snapping off several shots, pointing and guffawing. Aubrey Bertram was throwing up in to a bucket looking clammy and pale, with half a head of hair and face covered in tender boils.
"Delicious face Bertie! Just like pork crackling!" James chortled loudly. Bertram no longer looked so smug.
"You did this Potter!" James put the camera in his bag and held a hand to his chest.
"Me? Painful accusations! Did you see me do it? Then I call hearsay," James spat, waving the fresh Polaroids as they developed. "Obviously your skid-marked laundry caused the house elves some offence...You are nothing to me Bertram."
"I'm going to get you all, you piece of fu-"Bertram lowered himself over the sloshing bucket. James grabbed the flowers from Peter as the matron Madame Dafore approached with a large jug of ice water and a glass.
"Better out than in, Mr Bertram!" She stopped at Remus's bed first pouring him a glass. "Mr Lupin, you may return to class. Do leave that poor boy alone Potter!"
"I just wanted to bring him these flowers."
"Unbelievable," Sirius sighed as Remus took his clothes from him with a smile. Sirius drew the curtains around his bed allowing him the privacy to change and then they walked together to breakfast with James excitedly explaining to Remus exactly how they had 'royally fucked Bertram'. Sirius laughed when he was supposed to but had no additional elements to offer to James's revenge epic too distracted by the carving in his pocket and Remus's hand swinging so close to his.
"And I did it all for you buddy. No one messes with my wolf cub!"
"Had nothing to do with Bertram disrespecting the love of your short life?" Remus asked as they sat down at Gryffindor table. James's eyes travelled to Lily where she was sitting a few seats down between Marlene and Mary finishing a bowl of cereal. She climbed out of her seat and came down the row to hug Remus. Lily's hair was dangling in his face and James had frozen.
"Your head looks much better this size," she said, kissing Remus's forehead. "Good morning darlings. Peter." She smiled across at him and held out a hand to Sirius. "Sirius?" He looked up from his uneaten breakfast and kissed her hand. She moved away down the hall as though James didn't exist. He held up a Polaroid and loudly cleared his throat. Lily came back to take the photo but James pulled it away. She leaned in over his shoulder, the ends of hair dangling dangerously close to his eggs.
"I'll be needing my jacket back, Evans," James said holding the Polaroid tight as she tugged at it.
"And your heart, slimeball?" she remarked dryly.
"Oh no, you can keep that." James released the photograph and Lily examined it. The apples of her cheeks turned apricot and she smiled whilst Mary giggled over her shoulder. She took the photograph and showed it to everyone within the vicinity who all burst in to raucous laughter and applause. James winked at Lily and returned to his breakfast feeling like an accomplished vigilante.
All day gossip about Bertram's condition was rife. James was like a cat with cream and wouldn't shut up about how much he was sure Lily 'wanted' him. Work during the final week of term was basically pointless and consisted of boring recaps, easy quizzes and free time to socialize in the lead up to the end of year party. It had been aptly named by an unknown genius 'Remember When We Were Friends?' because most people had managed to fall out by the time summer broke. For once Sirius and James were still on good terms and Sirius wanted to keep it that way so he kept his irritability to himself and tried to tune James out. He couldn't concentrate on anything but the carving burning a hole in his pocket. He skipped lunch and returned to his dorm room to finish the mixtape he was putting together for Regulus.
In Care of Magical Creatures his one remaining girlfriend Adriana Sisken threw her arms around him and tried to kiss him and Sirius ultimately took his frustrations out on her. "Don't touch me!" He shrugged her off and walked away across the grounds.
"We're over!" she screamed. Sirius kept on walking. The class had been reduced to free time, quaffle throwing and sunbathing but Sirius simply wasn't in the mood for any of that. He hid behind a greenhouse and whipped out a cigarette. His hands were shaking and he cursed as he dropped the gold flip lighter with the Gryffindor crest James had given him for his 14th birthday in to the grass.
"I haven't seen you this on edge since your brother's sorting. Is everything alright?" Remus handed him back his lighter with a tender smile.
"Fucking dandy!" Sirius laughed. Remus stared at him trying to get a read on his expression. Sirius turned away taking long drags on his cigarette and staring at the lake. Remus had known Sirius long enough to know that sometimes he liked to be left alone to stew but he wasn't sure if now was one of those times. He didn't know if he just needed someone to talk to.
"Thanks for bringing me clean clothes." Remus broke the silence. Sirius snorted and flicked ash in to the grass.
"Least I could do. You never let me go cold when I pass out drunk on the rug and you slip a pain killer in to my morning juice," Sirius explained without turning around. Remus smiled, never having considered that Sirius noticed the little things he did. James and Peter never had. Sirius held the carving aloft and Remus took it from him, their hands brushing momentarily before Sirius stuffed his in his pockets. "I found it in your cabinet. I thought you'd lost it."
"No...It's just that sometimes it's hard to look at. I don't like the idea that I'm just a-"
"It's not a wolf," Sirius corrected him, finally turning around to look at him. His face had returned to normal and his scars didn't stand out as much against his tanned skin. "It's a guard dog."
Remus rotated the carving in his hands. It was painted black with bright brown dots for eyes like someone else he knew named after a'dog star'. He also knew that dogs were a totem of blind love, loyalty, watchfulness and courage and couldn't think of an animal more representative of the chain smoker in front of him. He had tried to set Bertram alight and taken away everything he valued because he had hurt Remus. People rarely took the time to get to know him, never mind stand up for him. Usually he was written off because he was a werewolf. Others expected him to be a monster but he couldn't live up to those expectations. His heart was too big. He cared too much. He didn't know what he wanted to be when he left school but he knew that he wanted to help people. He wanted to help Sirius but he didn't know how. He didn't know how to tell him that he was in love with him and he didn't want to be. Sirius had made his type clear and Remus was not it. Yet every time he tried to move on it ended disastrously and he stumbled over his words because he wasn't suave like James or funny like Sirius. It was self sabotage because he knew that no girl could accept him the way Sirius had, so he tortured himself because he knew that he deserved the pain. He listened to his rants; he gave him advice; he read to him; he put him to bed and he was always there to help him out of trouble like the kind of dependant saps who dated James well in the knowledge of how badly he would treat them. Remus prided himself on his intellect and if Sirius had been an exam he would have failed again and again just so that he could resit.
"Mr Black! What are you doing?" Professor Grubblyplank limped over with her cane. Sirius performed a trick he had yet to perfect, flipping his lit cigarette in to his closed mouth and smiling serenely. Grubblyplank led them away from the greenhouses and back to the patch of grass by Hagrid's hut where outside classes often took place.
"We were just appreciating the view Professor," Remus filled in quickly. "The year will be over soon after all. It's going to be a long time until we get to see it again." Sirius nodded in agreement, smiling at James where he was standing with Peter.
"Not long enough," James groaned, leaning back against a tree and ruffling up his hair as Adriana glanced briefly in their direction.
"Stay with the rest of the class Mr Black." Grubblyplank shook Sirius lightly by the shoulder and he coughed as she walked away, spitting out the damp cigarette butt. James put an arm around Sirius and patted his chest.
"You'll get it old chap," he said encouragingly, "Now to the matter at hand. Adriana is a free agent now. Would you mind too greatly if I hit that?" Remus shook his head and pulled a book out of his bag.
"Knock yourself out," Sirius sighed watching Remus as he played absentmindedly with the dog carving.
"Oh I'll knock something out!"
Sirius was equally anxious throughout double herbology. His hands shook more because he was sleep deprived and starving and he accidentally smashed several plant pots. James had spent all of their last class flirting with Adriana Sisken. She had now taken Sirius's seat at his right side and was flirting intensely, all batted eyelashes and lingering caresses as James furtively glanced over her shoulder at Lily who was potting plants with Snape. "I suppose you found Potter's deviant attack on Bertram just charming," Snape said as Lily poured soil.
"Perhaps it was a little callous," she agreed, "but hopefully Bertram has learned not to run his mouth." She struggled with the heavy sack and Snape took it from her placing it on the ground at their feet.
"He had no right to say that to you," Snape mumbled slowly, staring at her freckled kneecaps.
"Why not? He says the same to everybody else like me," Lily noted and Snape rose up, bowing his head.
"But none of them are the very best thing about this school," Snape whispered tensely. Lily smiled and put a hand over his. She took it away when she noticed James staring across the greenhouse.
"Severus, please come to the end of year party with me. I don't want to go with anybody else and I know Potter will ask me and If I tell him I don't have a date he'll bloody insist-"Lily rambled nervously.
"Of course. I will be seeing you over summer though won't I?"
"You'd have to move house not to."
Peter might not have been the brightest member of their group but he noticed discrepancies and Sirius had not been his usually jubilant self for several days. When he skipped dinner as he had lunch, he took a tray up to their dorm room laid with a selection of delicious foods. He found him curled onto their window seat smoking a cigarette and listening to sad records. Peter pushed the tray in front of him and passed him the cutlery he'd stashed in his pocket. "You have to eat. It's the best part of every day. Are you sick?"
"No...Thanks Petey." Sirius stubbed his cigarette out in one of the many ashtrays and slowly picked at the roast chicken.
"I know what it is. You don't have to tell me. It's obvious," Peter stated from his position sitting by Sirius's bed, flicking through his record collection. So few things were obvious to Peter that Sirius put down his cutlery utterly terrified that he had been caught out. "You always get like this before summer. I know that you don't wanna go home." Sirius let out a sigh of relief and started eating again. "I'm sorry."
"Thanks. That's okay man. I'm gonna try and get a job somewhere. It'll keep me out of the house-"
"And out of trouble?" Peter asked with a hopeful smile. He was always so distressed by Sirius's father's treatment of him, probably because his own parents loved him so much. The reason why someone would want to hurt a loved one was one of the many things he couldn't understand. Sirius nodded. "You're always welcome at my house. Mum and Dad love you." Other people's parents always seemed to love Sirius a great deal more than his own but he supposed it was easier. He wasn't their responsibility. He wasn't their legacy. His every waking breath hadn't become a continual disappointment to them.
"'Cold blooded Smartarse'?" Peter was holding Regulus's finished mixtape.
"It's for my brother. I'll send you one in summer full of the Devil's music." Peter lived in a small village beside a devoutly catholic old woman. She also happened to be the first witness to any inkling of Peter's magical talents when he had put out the curtains she had set on fire with her deep fat fryer. Ever since she had glared at him whenever he passed and told others that he was the Devil's Child; a nickname that Peter significantly preferred to 'PeePee Pettigrew'.
"Perfect!" He slipped the mixtape back in to its envelope with a laugh. "Say Sirius, why did you break up with all of your girlfriends?"
"Needed a break. My tongue was getting tired and that's nothing compared to my-"
"Okay!" Peter clamped his hands over his eyes as Sirius stood up.
"You pervert! I was gonna say my hands," Peter's expression remained revolted, "From writing all those love notes! You know how it is Petey. I assume you and Olivia are still going strong."
"Yeah," Peter responded with a fond smile, "Thanks for setting us up."
"Hey! I always got your back. Now about this summer, can I have your bed? I'm a good three months older than you and I have lower back problems and would you please take this envelope up to the owlery for me?"