A/N: Thanks for all your lovely reviews! I can't believe we're at ten chapters. This took a lot of tweaking and I'm still not as happy as I usually am; I might have a small case of writer's block. Oh well. I've updated all the same.
It felt like hours before she finally approached the house again. Tony was still on the balcony, seated on its floor, gazing up at the sky. The day's sunny promise had faded, and a light drizzle was falling from the clouds. She had run until her feet refused to hold, until she thought she was lost. But it was only then she realised she could not outrun her problems. She had to face them, before they caught up to her.
Tony was only awoken from his melancholy state by the sound of the door opening, but turned his head away after a second. Ziva tiptoed over to him and sat beside him, her warm body heating his.
"Enjoy your run?" he asked in an 'avoid the elephant in the room' kind of way, typical of their conversations.
"Actually I did," she answered, wishing he would look at her. "I thought about things."
He sighed. "I just hope you know how sorry I am," he told her, very sincerely, and a tiny smile graced her flushed face.
"It is alright, Tony. I do not believe that you would have even…mentioned my half-brother, if you did not believe I trusted Ray enough that I would tell him." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "And I truly think Ray could give even Gibbs a run for his money in the interrogation room."
Tony was silent, but he turned his head, and his glowing green eyes were what she had wanted to see.
"I overreacted," she said, apologetically.
"No you didn't," Tony replied, gazing at the spot where the sun barely showed through the rainclouds. "I was a lousy partner."
"You could never be," she assured him. "Not if you were willing to come all this way to, uh, check up on Ray and I."
He smiled thankfully.
"You know, today, he told me that he loved me," she confessed.
Aware that eavesdropping might set them back a lot, he pretended this was new information. "And?"
"That's it."
"You say it back?"
She shook her head. "I care for him very much, Tony," she said.
"But?"
"But…I just don't know if I love him yet," she said.
"Trouble in bed?" he joked without thinking. She gave him a glare. "I'll take that as a yes."
Why was he doing this? The minute things turn serious he runs away from it. It frustrated Ziva to no end.
"You're a pig," she accused.
"Look, I'm sorry, I just hate to see you so upset—"
"I came to you for redemption, for comfort and you just…make jokes! Does the word 'sorry' even mean anything to you? Or is it just a phrase you use to get yourself out of trouble?" She stood up in anger, and he quickly did the same.
"Ziva, hey, I…" He tried to calm her, running the back of his fingers along his cheek, but she turned away, her back to him.
"I think I love him, and I think I've finally found someone, but then I think of you…" she whispered the last part. "And I wonder if you could ever accept it, or if…"
"If what?"
"If I'm just making excuses to not give myself to someone else," she said, turning around again, her eyes cutting like daggers into his.
"Where's all this coming from?" he asked.
"Nowhere. I just worry sometimes, that things might…repeat previous events."
He knew in a second she was talking about Michael Rivkin.
"I wouldn't, not ever. That I promise you, Ziva." The truth in his voice rang clear through his words. The pain, suffering and loss it had caused both of them had been far, far too great to have to relive. Ever.
Tiredly, she rubbed her brown eyes. "I do not want to fight any more. I am tired of this, aren't you?"
"Yeah," he agreed. "Are we OK?"
She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "We will be."