Comfort
My loyalty laid with the soutaichou. I obeyed every order. I only questioned a decision when I thought it was absolutely needed and even then, I would not argue against his arguments.
We were not friends. We were remote colleagues, unemotional peers. I participated in his tea demonstrations, he humoured me by coming to every health examination.
I suspected he turned to his own Zanpakutou when in conflict. Or his fukutaichou.
I wished I could depend on my own Zanpakutou. She soothed me, revitalised me, but rarely would I feel completely at ease.
I doubted that would ever happen.