I do not own Twilight or its characters. Stephenie Meyer does.

April and Gabby, thank you for pre-reading, and Fran, thank you for editing. Any mistakes left are my own.

Ch. 9

He looked away and then back towards me but wouldn't meet my eyes. "Not intentionally. He asked for my help making a small cherry bomb to scare the gophers from his parents' lawn. I didn't see the harm. However, I didn't expect him to put them in mailboxes."

"Why didn't you stop him?" I asked.

"I wasn't there when he did it," Edward said defensively.

"Then I don't see how it was your fault," I reasoned.

"He wouldn't have known how to make one without my help," Edward explained.

"That still doesn't make it your fault. How were you to know he was going to do something so stupid? Is that why the two you aren't friends anymore? Does he think you should've gotten in trouble too?" I questioned.

"No. In fact, he took all the blame and never said a word about my involvement. But my parents forbade me from hanging around him." Edward sat on the end of the slide; he leaned back and covered his face with his arm.

I furrowed my brows as I kicked off the ground to start moving. I was starting to feel sorry for Jasper. It was starting to seem as if he wasn't a loner by choice. So far, my dad, Alice's dad, and Edward's parents all forbade us from being his friend.

I mean really, was blowing up mailboxes so terrible? Well, of course, it was, but a one-time thing shouldn't have cost him all of his friends. Kids do stupid things all the time—it doesn't mean they're forever bad.

Then there were his issues with drugs. But maybe that all could have been avoided if he had friend or two.

"What happened to you and Emmett? Alice said you two got into a fight," I asked.

"As I said, going with Emmett was a stupid idea. He challenged me to fight, to prove I was capable of being Red Ranger. It started like any other time we had a mock fight, but then Mike and Tyler goaded him into really letting me have it. He sucker-punched me in the gut. Next thing I knew, fists were flying, and I was held back by the other two as Emmett wailed on me," Edward answered tersely.

"What the fu…dge? Why would Emmett do that to you?" I was disgusted by Emmett's behavior.

Edward scoffed and sat back up. "I haven't got a fucking clue. He told me if I wasn't such a sissy that I would've been able to defend myself."

"Bull. You were ganged up on, that was hardly fair." I grew even more furious with Emmett.

"Yeah…well, that was years ago so there's nothing you can do about it now. After that, he started hanging around with them and picking on me every chance he got. So I'm sure you can gather why we are no longer friends," Edward grumbled.

"I'm so sorry," I lamented.

"No, don't apologize. You shouldn't feel sorry for me." Edward quickly stood and resumed pacing.

"What are you talking about? What Emmett did…"

He cut me off. "Yes, Emmett was a bully and a jerk. Yes, I felt used by Jasper. Yes, I felt as you abandoned me to them without a word."

He stopped and spun around to face me. "But the way I have been acting was my own selfish fault. I buried myself in my studies and avoided others because I wanted to avoid relationships and feelings that went with them. Emmett and Jasper weren't far off calling me a Borg. I've been acting like a robot for years."

"But…"

He held up his hand, stopping me. "Don't try to placate me or tell me that it's okay because it wasn't. After years of ignoring my therapist, I made a breakthrough today. I realized I needed to stop closing myself off, and that it was okay to be angry with myself and to feel guilty. But by pushing people away, I was only hurting me and those around me."

His hand dropped to his side, and he shook his head sadly. "It was never me that was abandoned. You were sick and couldn't help leaving. For weeks after you left, I kept hearing your voice in my head, begging me to stay for a minute. But I was too worried what Emmett thought to listen. Even though I still feel justified in pushing Emmett and Jasper away, it should've stopped there. I still had my parents, and I should have been there for Alice. She was the one that was truly abandoned—not me, and I literally slammed the door in her face when she came to me for help," he said remorsefully.

We fell into an uncomfortable silence; the only sound was the wind rustling the leaves and the free swings. It took me a minute to gather my thoughts and figure out what to say so he wouldn't refute me.

"I'm happy to hear that you were able to realize this about yourself. And it is good to feel anger and remorse. Now that you have, I think the next step would be to let go of it and strive to be better. If you want to make it up to Alice, you can start by being her friend—it's not too late, and she could use all the friends she can get," I suggested softly.

"I don't know if I know how to be anyone's friend anymore," Edward admitted.

"You are wrong about that. You're just rusty," I encouraged. "Just moments ago when you thought I was crying, you hurried off to find me a tissue, and before that, you stopped when you saw me in the park, concerned about me. That's what a friend does."

"I still let you down before. And then Alice." He grimaced, still beating himself up over it.

"I forgive you—I did years ago. We were kids back then and thanks to my mother's meddling, you didn't know. I can't be mad at you for that. I told you this yesterday, and I'll tell you every day if you need to hear it." I went over and took his hand in mine then gave it a squeeze.

He gave me a sheepish smile then looked down at our hands. I started to pull away, and he held on tighter.

"Can I give you a lift home?" he offered shyly.

"Sure," I agreed.

We were walking to his car when my stomach grumbled embarrassingly loud. My forgotten dinner was still in the microwave.

"Excuse me; I forgot to eat dinner after my phone call with my mother." I blushed.

"I usually eat at the diner after my appointments since Friday night is date night for my parents. Should we stop?" Edward asked.

"Thank you, but I left my wallet at the house. I was just going for a walk to clear my head." I felt bad for having to refuse him.

"My treat?" he suggested.

"I don't know…" I was feeling guilty about having him pay. Plus, it would make it more like a date. And I don't think either of us was ready for that step.

"Friends can treat each other, right?" He frowned and looked unsure.

"Yeah, friends can do that. Next time I treat," I agreed.

RR

As we were headed to the diner, Edward reached over and turned down the radio. "Do you know if your mom still has the letters or did she throw them out? I would be still interested in reading them."

I smirked and bit the inside of my cheek to hold in my first impulse for calling him out for the 'no talking while driving' rule. I knew he was trying to avoid me that day.

"I didn't ask. I was so angry that I just hung up on her. She's going to be pissed about that and probably rat me out to Dad. But I couldn't talk to her anymore after she pretty much informed me she thought I was going to die. It felt like she gave up on me from the very beginning of me getting sick." A flare of irritation and hurt ripped through me.

"I'm sorry, Bee," he called me his old nickname for me.

"It's…Let's just talk about something else," I pleaded.

"Okay," he agreed. "I named him Jacob."

"Who?" I was confused.

"Instead of Alpha Black, I decided to call him Jacob." He shrugged, keeping his eyes on the road.

"You named your mouse?" A pleased smile formed on my face. "So you expect him to live."

"Well, mice have a short life, regardless of my experiment—one to two years on average." Edward shrugged.

"What experiment were you planning anyway?" I asked suspiciously.

"A controlled maze, where he'd be shocked by a tiny collar if he takes a wrong turn," Edward explained.

"Edward, you can't hurt him, he's a small defenseless animal," I gasped.

"It won't be strong enough to hurt him. Think of it like a dog collar—no different," he argued.

"Still sounds cruel to me," I muttered. "What class is this for anyways?"

"It's independent research. Would it make you feel any better to know he's rewarded with cheese or peanut butter?" Edward asked as he turned into the parking lot.

"Slightly. Does the diner have a pay phone? I probably should leave Charlie a message my plans changed in case he gets home before I do." I looked around the dark lot.

"I don't think so, I believe it was taken out when they repaved a couple years ago. Don't you have a cell phone?" He pulled his out of his jean pocket.

"No. My mother refuses to let me have one. She claims they cause cancer." I huffed.

"Oh. You can borrow mine." He held it out to me.

"Thank you." I quickly called home.

I wasn't sure what Dad's protocol was since we hadn't discussed it. But I had a feeling he would worry if he couldn't find me. Maybe he would agree to a cell phone.

RR

About an hour later, we finished our burgers and fries. I was enjoying talking to Edward about mindless things like music and movies—a welcoming change to earlier in the night. Our bubble was burst when the diner started to fill with other teenagers, dressed head to toe in the school colors. Our quiet, safe haven was now very loud.

"What in the world…" I asked, taking in the scene before me.

"The football game must be over. I'm usually out of here before they descend." Edward frowned.

"You've never gone to the games?" I questioned.

"No, I avoid it like the plague." Edward turned away as Emmett came through the door.

The crowd started to cheer and chant his name. Several people slapped him on the back or shook his hand. A pretty redhead hung onto to his bicep, staring up at him like he was a god.

"I can't say I blame you. Let's call it a night." I grabbed my coat.

We made our way to the door; however, luck wasn't on our side, and Emmett spotted us.

"Hey, Bells and Edb…ward, why are you leaving?" He stood in front of us with a large grin.

Edward stiffened beside me, and it was clear he still wasn't comfortable around Emmett. Not that I could blame him.

"I'm tired, so Edward is going to bring me home," I lied.

"Oh." Emmett's grinned faltered. "Are you feeling okay?"

I inwardly sighed. "I'm fine. Just a long day. See you Monday, Emmett." I skirted around him and out the door.

Edward hurried after me, and we headed back to my house. We were quiet along the drive, and I quietly cursed Emmett for ruining our good time.

"What is that thing?" Edward's headlights fell on my new truck.

"My early birthday present from Dad. I forgot to tell you, I won't need a ride tomorrow and thank God, I won't have to arrive at school in the cruiser anymore," I said proudly.

"It looks like it belongs in the junkyard, does it even work?" Edward looked at it in disgust.

"My father is the chief of police. Do you honestly think he would've bought it for me if it didn't." I rolled my eyes.

"If you say so." Edward still didn't seem to agree.

"Thank you for the ride and dinner. I'll see you tomorrow." I opened my door.

"Good night, Bella." Edward smiled softly.

RR

I noticed the cruiser in the driveway before I entered the house. Inside, the game was on, and Dad was sitting on the edge of his chair. He glanced up when I came in.

"I thought you were watching the game in La Push?" I hung up my coat.

"I was, until I started getting frantic phone calls from your mother and came home to check on you." Thankfully, he didn't seem mad.

"Sorry, I left a note then a message on the answering machine. I don't have your cell phone number memorized." I sat on the couch.

"You should call your mother, and you shouldn't have hung up on her." He gave me a pointed look.

I crossed my arms in front of me. "I'm still angry. Did you lie to protect her? She admitted she never mailed the letters because I was going to die and it would only depress everyone to know that I was sick. She never counted on my surviving."

"No, I didn't know, I was only speculating before. Are you sure you're not taking it out of context?" He muted the television.

"Yes. I'm sure. She said when not if." I blinked back my tears.

Dad rubbed the side of his face and sighed. "I'm not sure what to tell you, except I know that your mother never wished you dead. She did have her moments, and I did too, that we worried to death we were going to lose you."

"So do you think she was right not to mail them?" I asked, crossing my arms in front of me.

"Legally, no," he answered.

"And as my father and not a cop?" I pressed.

He shrugged his shoulders. "It's a tough one, and I can see her point. But I hate the fact, you were hurting that you didn't hear from them—I wouldn't have wanted that either. Do you want to press charges?"

I hesitated. "No, I can't do that. But I'm not ready to talk to her at the moment." I wrung my hands in my lap.

"Duly noted. However, I think you should call her tomorrow," he said sternly.

"Fine. I'm going to bed. Night." I stood and headed or the stairs.

"Hey, Bells?"

I turned back to him.

"Are you sure Alice Brandon is still in town?" he asked.

"Yes, in fact, she's coming over on Sunday, why?" I said nervously.

"No reason," he answered, but something seemed off. "Night."

"Night." I bit my lip as I hurried up the steps.

A/N: So now you know about the cherry bombs. Edward might have helped make them but wasn't involved in blowing anything up directly. The cherry bombs were supposed to be used to smoke the gophers out not hurt them.

We will be back to Edward's pov next chapter. He's starting to open up but has been closed off for so long that it's going to be slow at first. He is coming to terms himself that he needs to make a change.

I don't think I have to ask about Emmett. Most of you have made it clear what you think about him.

I snickered when most of you were relieved that Billy didn't have a son. Yes, I made Jacob a mouse. I've made him half-Husky half-wolf, and also a shark, why not a mouse. Lol.

Thank you for all the love and reviews you have given my story.