Monday morning finally came around and as usual Yami got up and got ready for school. On the other hand Atem was busy putting on his best clothes for his appointment that was fast approaching. Hearing his Mother call them for Breakfast Atem finished doing up the buttons on his shirt, to his best ability with only one good arm and then made his way downstairs.
Loretta looked up as she heard Atem on the stairs. "You look handsome, honey. But your shirt needs fixing. Can I help you?" "...Oh, yes please, thank you Mother" Atem blushed
Loretta approached him and fixed his mismatched buttons before straightening his collar. "Are you nervous?" Nodding silently, Atem looked up at his Mother, "I-I'm a little bit afraid actually," Atem admittedly nervously.
"Afraid of what?" Loretta asked, patting his shoulder. "I'm afraid of what the person is going to say, I guess I'm going to have to tell the Psychiatrist some of my deepest secrets and that worries me," Atem sighed, biting his lip. "He has probably heard worse. And whatever he says we will work to help you, I promise." Loretta nodded.
"Thank you Mother, I-I just don't want to be taking anti-depressant pills at my age and that worries me as well. What will my friends think if they find out?" Atem asked nervously, not really wanting to know the answer."Let's cross that bridge when we get there." Loretta checked her watch. "We better get going."
"Mother? Can I go and say goodbye to Yami? I havent seen him all morning and I know he's going to miss me at school" Atem mentioned. "Of course, just don't take too long. We need to get going soon" Loretta reminded him, giving her son a warm smile. "Yes Mother" Atem nodded before dashing up the stairs and knocking on Yami's door.
"Yes?" came the response."Hey Yami, I'm just about to get going to my appointment but I wanted to come and say goodbye to you first," Atem explained, as he opened the door and came in. Yami got to his feet. "I hope you do well." he whispered, hugging him and hiding his face in his brother's shirt.
"Yami? Are you ok? Whats wrong?" Atem asked, raising an eyebrow as he returned the embrace. "I'm just worried about you." Yami murmured, looking up at him finally.
"I worried too, I feel almost too young to be doing something like this. I know I have the support from you and Mother but she assured me that I would be ok" Atem smiled, nervously. "You better go." Yami pulled away, hearing their mother call. "Good luck."
"Thanks Yami, you're the best little Brother ever" Atem said as he pulled Yami back in for one last small hug and then left. "You're the best big Brother." Yami mumbled, watching him go.
Loretta was waiting for Atem when he came back down. "Ready?" "As ready as I'll ever be I guess" Atem sighed with a gulp. Loretta led him to the car. As she drove, she gave him a small smile. "You will do just fine."
"I don't have to go in on my own do I Mother?" Atem asked, feeling his heart starting to pound faster in his chest. "I am not sure, but you can ask if I can come in." Loretta suggested. "I want you to be with me, what if I dont know what to say or I forget?" Atem said as he started to question himself in panic.
"I am sure he just wants to talk to you and see what the problem is." Loretta pulled up to the office. "Here we are." "Please come in with me Mother?" Atem pleaded, now feeling even more nervous. "Of course." Loretta got out of the car and went in with Atem, filling out forms.
"I-I dont know if I can do this anymore Mother, I-I want to go home" Atem whispered, looking around at the other people in the room who had just come in. Before Loretta could answer, a young man with a scruffy brown beard, hair, and wearing glasses appeared. "Atem Sennen?" "T-thats me" Atem answered nervously.
"Come into my office." The doctor gave him a smile and waved him forward. Waiting for his Mother to stand up also, Atem hestitantly followed the doctor and then sat down. Loretta sat down beside him. "Atem is a little nervous." she explained as the doctor closed the door behind him. "Understandably. We're just here to talk. So Atem, what is the problem?" The doctor asked as he brought out a note pad.
Sighing, Atem took a deep breath before he started, "Well I think I might have depression." The doctor sat down behind his desk with a sigh. "What makes you think that?" "It all started the night before my Brothers birthday, I-I don't know why I did it but I...I kissed him and I liked it" Atem admitted as a deep red blush appeared on his cheeks.
"Just to clarify Doc," Loretta interrupted. "My two sons aren't true Brothers. I adopted Yami when he was three months old because Atem's true twin died at birth and maybe this is where some of Atems depression stems from," Loretta added, trying to help her son in his nervous state as much as possible.
"Ah, do you think you're gay?" The doctor asked, raising an eyebrow at Atem. "Y-yes, I-I do. I love Yami more than I know I should," Atem confessed still blushing deep red.
"That is nothing to be scared of. It is natural to have feelings for someone if they're not related to you. Do you think you're ashamed of what people will think if they knew you had feelings for Yami?" the doctor asked, writting in short hand what Atem had said.
"I do try to act like he's just my Brother at school, but only because I don't want Yami to be made fun of if anyone finds out, I'm his big Brother and I have to protect him" Atem stated proudly.
"Do you feel like you want to harm yourself sometimes?" The doctor asked with a hint of concern in his voice as he looked down his nose and over his glasses at Atem.
"N-no never, I did have an accident in my Mothers car the other day. I didn't do it on purpose, I just wasn't paying attention and went through a yellow light," Atem admitted, showing his casted arm.
"Have you had these feelings before you realized you had feelings for your Brother?" The doctor continued to ask, as he jotted down notes. "No, no I didn't. I have always loved Yami but I felt that I loved him in a different way once I found out he wasn't my real Brother" Atem admitted, now starting to feel less nervous and a bit more comfortable.
"All right, I am going to recommend something I hope will help." The doctor reached for a pad of paper and began scribbling.
"I don't have to start taking pills do I?" Atem asked nervously as his anxiety levels rose doctor finished writing and tore off the page. "Not at all. Here," he handed the paper over, which had a name, phone number, and address.
"What is this? Mother? Do you know who this is?" Atem asked as he read the information on the page then looked back at his Mother with a raised eyebrow. "It's the name and contact information of a therapist. You clearly need someone to talk to and he's the best." The doctor nodded at the young, tan teen.
Skimming over the piece of paper, Loretta looked at Atem and then nodded to the doctor, "Yes I think I heard of him before, he is very good. Thank you so much for your time." "If you need anything else, just call my office." The doctor nodded, giving Atem a small smile.
"Thank you" Atem smiled back as he left the doctors office. Handing the car keys to her son, Loretta looked down at him."Go out the the car please Atem, I will be there with you soon," Loretta instructed as she went to the reception desk.
"Ok Mother" Atem nodded back as he opened the door and went out. Pushing the unlock button on the remote, Atem heard the click of the car unlocking and got in. But not in the drivers side this time, reluctantly Atem got into the passengers seat and sighed sadly as he did up his belt in anticipation of his Mother's arrival.
Only a few minutes had passed and Atem jumped in fright when the drivers door of the car banged shut. Seeing her son jump Loretta giggled, "Oh I'm sorry hunny did I wake you, I never realised you were asleep," Loretta apologised, touching his arm. "It's ok Mother, I wasn't asleep. I was just thinking," Atem whispered with a small yawn.
Once at home, Loretta helped her son up the stairs and into his room. Helping him to lay comfortably on his bed, "I need to go to work for a while, but Mana is here if you need her. I shouldn't be any longer than a few hours so hopefully while I'm away you will have been asleep and then I should be home by the time you wake up," Loretta advised her son.
"Mother, I know I didn't say this before but I'm really sorry for crashing your car. I should have paid more attention at that intersection instead of playing with the radio," Atem growled, looking down at his cast.
"You don't have to stress about that anymore Atem, accidents happen and even though it was a very big mistake to not keep your eyes on the road. It's only a car and I have a replacement coming next week, I'm just very thankful that you weren't killed or hurt more seriously than you were," Loretta smiled, touching his hand and making him look up at her.
"Thank you Mother, I'm very thankful that I'm still alive too," Atem smiled back at his Mother. "Oh, I need to get going. Are you sure you are going to be ok here without me?" Loretta asked as she checked the time on her watch.
"I'm sure I'll be fine, I have the phone next to me if I need Mana and Yami should be home from school within a few hours. You can go to work Mother, I'll be ok," Atem assured his mother as she leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Ok then but don't hesitate to ring me if you need anything, I will be straight home. No questions asked," Loretta stated, looking down at her son and raising an eyebrow.
"Yes Mother, I will, I promise," Atem chuckled. "Ok then, well I better get going. Oh, I forgot to say that I will book an appointment for you at the therapist for either tomorrow or Wednesday depending on what I can get but I will let you know," Loretta informed him as she gave him a smile before walking out the door.
Listening to his Mother leave from the house, Atem settled himself down into bed, trying to get as comfortable as possible so he could get some rest before both his Mother and Brother came home. Slowly falling asleep Atem's muscles relaxed as he slipped into unconciousness, breathing deeply. Hours passed and Atem was suddenly awoken by a gentle knocking at his door, "Hello?" Atem answered gruffly, still partially asleep and rubbing one eye.
"Hey, sorry for waking you big Bro," Yami apologised, giving his elder Brother a friendly smile. Clearing his throat Atem smiled back at Yami, letting out a large yawn as he got comfortable again, "It's ok, how was school?" Atem asked, raising a sleepy eyebrow.
"Boring," Yami stated flatly but with a not so serious look on his face. "Well hopefully i will be back next week," Atem chuckled as Yami's jaw dropped. "Next week! Oh no, seriously?" Yami exclaimed, flopping down onto his back on Atems bed and looking up at his Brother.
Shaking his head, Atem sighed, "Yami, I can't go to school, I have bruised ribs and a broken arm. It's going to be hard enough for me to write let alone do other classes," Atem explained as he brushed a bang out of his Brothers face. "I know, I'm sorry. I'm just so use to you being at school with me and now your not, I miss you Atem," Yami admitted, still looking up at his Brother.
"I miss you too Yami, I've only had Mother as company for the morning until she had to leave to go back to work. But it's not the same as having you here with me," Atem confessed as a pale blush painted his cheeks.
"Is it ok if I gave you a hug? It may make both of us feel better?" Yami suggested, slowly wriggling closer to his Brother. "Of course you can, just because we're not in the sort of relationship that we used to be in right now. It doesn't mean you can't give me a hug, we are and will always be Brothers and nothing will change that. Just be careful of my arm," Atem chuckled as he was embraced by Yami, who gently wrapping his arms around Atem's neck.
"Thank you Atem and you're right, we will always be Brothers no matter what," Yami confirmed, closing his eyes and smiling at the warmth and love he felt from and for his Brother. After sitting for a few moments wrapped up in each others arms, Atem pulled back out of the embrace to look at Yami, "feel better?" Atem asked still with a smile on his face.
"Much," was Yami's simple reply, smiling back at his tanned, elder Brother. "I better go and do my homework now, do you want me to come and wake you up when dinner is ready?"
"I think I will stay awake for now, dinner mustn't be too far away anyway and I really need to go to the bathroom if you would help me up?" Atem asked as he slowly swung his legs over the edge of the bed.
"Ok just take it easy and stand up slowly, I don't want you hurting yourself," Yami advised. "I'm ok Yami," Atem chuckled. "It's my arm that is broken, not my leg."
"I know but don't forget about thoes ribs of yours," Yami reminded his Brother as he got to his feet. "Yes Mother," Atem droned, mocking his younger sibling with a small bow before shuffling across the floor to the bathroom. "Would you like a hand with anything else," Yami called with a wink.
Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, Atem shut the Bathroom door before proceeding about his business. After a few minutes Atem came out to find that Yami had gone, thinking that there was no point of him laying down on his bed Atem made his way out of his room and slowly downstairs to the living room. It wasn't long before Loretta was home and dinner was ready, while they all sat around the table and ate and spoke of how their day was.
Seeing that Atem was almost finished his dinner, Loretta mentioned to him about his upcomming therapy appointment and that it was first thing on wednesday morning. Knowing that he would have to go to bed early that night Atem nodded a thank you to his Mother before dismissing himself politely from the table and making his way up the stairs.
Being awoken by his Mother knocking on his door early on Wednesday morning, Atem stretched and yawned as he got out of bed. Hearing another knock on his door Atem quickly pulled up his pants and did them up "Come in." Yami poked his head in, "You all right, Brother?"
"Im ok but I do need abit of help with my shirt buttons," Atem chuckled feeling slightly embarrased."Of course I can help you." Yami went over and buttoned his shirt. "Better?"
"Thank you Yami, that looks a lot better. Now we should go down and have breakfast Mother is probably waiting for me" Atem smiled, looking down his chest at his neatly done up buttons. "Good idea." Yami agreed, following his Brother out the door and down the stairs.
Once down in the dining room, Loretta smiled at her sons while they sat and ate their breakfast, "Good morning boys." "Morning, Mother." The two boys chimed in unison. "Did you get your buttons done up by yourself this morning Atem?" Loretta asked, being surprised at how well they were done up.
"No, Yami helped." Atem replied, turning his head and giving his Brother a smile. "Thank you for helping your Brother Yami, that was nice of you to help him when he needed it," Loretta smiled at her youngest son, giving him a nod of gratitude.
"Not a problem." Yami smiled back at his Mother before continuing to eat. "Right Mr Sennen, when you are finished your breakfast you need to go and get in the car, we dont want to miss your appointment" Loretta reminded her eldest son. Atem nodded. "Yes, Mother."
"You should hurry along too Yami, Roland will be here in twenty minutes to get you. In the mean time Atem I will go out to the car and get it started" Loretta told her eldest son. "Yes, Mother." Yami returned back to his breakfast, finishing it as quickly as possible without burning himself.
Unlocking her car Loretta drove it out of the garage and around past the house, tooting the horn twice to let her son know it was time to go. "Atem, good luck, I'll miss you at school," Yami smiled sadly as he could see that Atem was starting to get nervous. "Thank you. I'll miss you too." Atem smiled back at his Brother.
"Love you big Bro" Yami whispered with a faint blush as he got up to give his Brother a hug goodbye. Atem hugged him back. "Love you too."
"You better go, Mum's waiting" Yami reminded his elder sibling, as he opened the door for him. "You're right. I will see you later." Atem gave him a small smile.
Watching his Brother leave out the door, Yami placed his plate on the bench before proceeding to get himself ready for school. Outside the house Atem got to the car and slowly lowered himself down in the passengers seat, "Are you ok hunny, how are your ribs this morning?" Loretta asked as she began to drive away. "Better, thankfully." Atem sighed, gently caressing them.
"Thats good to hear, it sounds like they are healing nicely. You may even be able to go back to school next week, I bet Yami would be happy about that," Loretta winked at her son as they pulled up to a traffic light. "Yes, I know he would be happy." Atem nodded.
"I can see how close you boys are and everyday I see the look of happiness on Yami's face when you two see one another. It's ok though, I miss your Father even when are both at work together and we don't get to see one another all day," Loretta said in comfort to her son as they neared the counsellers office. "I feel the same way about Yami." Atem admitted as the corner of his mouth turned up in a small smile.
"I know you do and I support you 100%, no matter what you choose to do in life you will always have the support of your Father and I," Loretta nodded as she pulled into the parking lot. "Thanks, Mother." Atem nodded.
"Now you will probably get asked the same sort of questions in here as you got asked by the Psychiatrist but if there is something they ask you and you dont feel comfortable answering it, dont, I want to see you getting better not worse," Loretta assured her son as they got out of the car. "I know." Atem headed into the building to wait for his turn."Im here for you Atem," Loretta smiled at her son as she filled out the necessary papers.A young male therapist stepped out. "Atem Sennen?"
"H-here sir" Atem stuttered nervously. "Come into my office." the young man offered. "Yes sir" Atem nodded following the man
"So," the therapist sat in his chair and gestured to the couch. "Have a seat and let's talk." "Um well...I think I might have depression" Atem admitted "Has anything changed in your life recently?" The doctor, picked up a pen and took notes.
"Yes, it happened about three months ago the day before my Brother's 16th Birthday," Atem started to explain as he continued to tell the therapist about the events that occurred after that and the way he started to feel. "Hm...are you ashamed of how you feel?" the doctor continued to ask.
"No, I love Yami but I keep the secret just between us because Im afraid of Yami being beaten up at school" Atem confessed. "That is a valid reason. Is he okay with keeping it a secret?" the doctor asked. "He seems to be ok with it, he hasn't said otherwise" Atem answered
"Then do you have an idea as to why you're feeling depressed?" The therapist asked as he continued to scribble down more notes. "Even though I know that Yami isn't my true Brother and I love him, sometimes though I feel that something isn't right," Atem explained.
"Maybe it's because you have thought about him a certain way for 16 years and you are conflicted about how you feel about the change." the doctor noted, tapping his pen against the side of his nose.
"I think you are right and I want to love Yami more than in just a Brotherly way but I don't want to see him getting hurt, what should I do?" Atem asked as Loretta put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Well," the doctor looked thoughtfully over at him. "I would suggest talking to him about it and explaining why you are keeping it a secret. Do you have friends you can confide in?"
"The only people that know of our relationship is my Mother and Father, I'm worried about what my friends will think if I told them" Atem sighed, looking nervously down at his hands.
"I would suggest testing the waters. Pick one friend to tell and see how they react. Someone that will keep the secret and that you are the most reliant on their responding well. Do you have someone in mind that covers it?" The doctor asked, arching an eyebrow."I-I do have someone in mind but I'm not sure about telling them, I like to keep personal things to myself," Atem explained.
"You don't have to give them all the details. Do your friends know that he's not really your brother by blood?" the doctor asked. Atem nodded, "They do, Yami actually told them after he found out after his birthday,"
"It might help your depression if you tell one of them. To know a peer has your back." The doctor advised the young Sennen. "I can try...I guess," Atem shrugged, unsure.
The doctor looked up at the clock. "Well, that is all the time we have for this session. You are more than welcome to make another appointment, I would love to find out how it went."
"Thank you, doctor, I will keep an eye on him and get in touch with you again if he needs the help" Loretta nodded to him as they began to leave. "Good luck." The doctor stood leading them out. "At least call and let me know how it went."
"Of course" Loretta smiled as Atem nodded in agreement. "Have a good day." the doctor nodded and shut the door to his office behind him.
"I'm very proud of you Atem, well done. Do you think you will tell one of your friends? Remember you don't have to if you don't want to, but it may help as the therapist said" "I think I will. If it helps I should." Atem agreed.
"It's your decision Atem, your old enough now to choose what you think is right and what isn't. Now go out to the car and I will be there as soon as I've paid" Loretta informed her son. "Yes, Mother." Atem headed out to the car and got in. 'Can I really tell Tea?"
After paying for her sons' appointment Loretta went out to the car and got in, starting it up. Seeing her son looking so troubled Loretta placed her hand on top of his "Atem honey, are you ok?" "I'm fine." Atem gave her a smile.
"Ok but you know you can always talk to me" Loretta smiled at Atem before backing out of the park and driving off. "Yes, I know. Thank you, Mother." Atem nodded.
"Once we get home and Yami is home, I will leave you to sort things out with Yami, I'm not needed at work today so if there is anything you two want to ask I will be here but other than that I will stay out of your way," Loretta advised him. "Thank you." Atem smiled at her.
Hours later, Atem was waiting in the living room when Yami came home. "Did you have a good day at school?" he asked, giving him a smile. "It would have been better with you there" Yami sighed flopping down on the couch "I will be back soon," Atem promised.
"How did your appointment go? You don't have to tell me if you dont want to" Yami mentioned. "He suggested that I talk to you and one of our friends about the problem." Atem confided in his Brother.
"Oh well do you want to go up to my room so we have a bit more privacy to talk?" Yami asked, picking up his bag. "Sure, lead the way." Atem smiled, motioning for Yami to go.
"Do you want some help getting up?" Yami asked as he stood patiently at the door. "I'm fine." Atem got slowly to his feet. "you can go."
Getting to his room, Yami opened the door for his Brother, "You first big bro." Atem chuckled. "You chicken that there's a monster under your bed?" "No, I'm just being polite" Yami frowned.
"I was teasing." Atem continued to chuckle, giving his Brother a light punch in the arm. "Im glad to see that you are happy again" Yami noted, giving a small smile. "I still feel different though." Atem frowned.
Sitting down on his bed Yami looked at his Brother, "So what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"
Atem sighed, "The therapist suggested that I talk to you about keeping our secret and how you feel about." Looking at his Brother Yami bit his lip "Well, how do you feel about it though?"
"I don't know and I don't want to say anything to anyone without your approval first, I'm really worried that if I say anything you will get bullied because everyone has believed that you and I are Brothers and now we are...Lovers?" Atem explained, questioning his own choice of words.
"I actually feel the same, I wanted to ask Joey, hypothetically of course, what he thought but I was worried that if he found out it was you that he might say something," Yami frowned as he folded his arms.
"Well, that's another thing the therapists suggested that I do and I thought maybe I would tell Tea? We have known her for a long time and we can trust her, can't we?" Atem asked, raising an eyebrow.
"It's up to you Atem, if you feel you can trust someone like Tea with a secret that big then I support you with your decision. We are still family even though we don't share the same parents or blood," Yami stated with a nod.
"Maybe I won't tell her the complete truth, I will do what you said you were going to do with Joey and make up a hypothetical scenario to see what sort of reaction I get out of her. That way our secret is kept safe at least until we are out of school," Atem devised as he started to get excited with his new idea.
"I think we should think about this a bit more before we go saying anything to anyone," Yami concluded, locking his deep violet eyes with his tanned Brothers crimson ones. Nodding in agreement Atem considered that what Yami was saying was correct. He trusted his Brother and knew that he would do anything to help him, especially in circumstances like this.