Chapter 10
"Oh, if only your Father were still alive!" Mrs. Bennet lamented at the dinner table that night.
Upon returning to the house there was a small table set with tea and some cakes and sandwiches. Collins had joined them, and Mary was in deep conversation with Bingley, who looked too polite to stop while Jane looked on them fondly. Collins was simpering to Darcy, asking advice on how to handle estates from a distance. His cool façade was back in place, and only when he glanced at Elizabeth did a bit of the little boy show through.
"For him to know that two of his daughters will be soon taken care of—"
"Mama, Mr. Bingley has not made any offer to me." Jane protested.
"On that matter, my cousin Jane, Mr. Bingley did speak with me." Mr. Collins wiped his mouth with the edge of the tablecloth.
Charlotte had rejoined the family and they were all seated at the dinner table, Kitty and Lydia oblivious to any conversation but their own. "Mr. Bingley looked uncomfortable at the time, but asked if I was considered the head of this household. I told him in regards to the family, yes, I could be considered the head. He has asked for a private meeting tomorrow morning."
Elizabeth and Jane looked at each other, a small blush splayed across Jane's cheeks.
"Oh, there it is, then! What a happy day it shall be."
That night Elizabeth crept into Jane's bedroom and began brushing her long, flaxen hair. Jane could see her sister in the mirrors reflection, smiling as if knowing a secret.
"What are you smiling at, Lizzy?" Jane asked, knowingly.
"Oh, only that you shall soon have everything your heart desires." After brushing the hair she braided it. "Will Bingley brush your hair, do you think, before bed?"
"Oh, Lizzy, don't talk such nonsense." Jane playfully pushed her as she stood up.
"What do you think it's like? On a couples wedding night?"
Jane swallowed hard, clutching her pillow close to her chest as she sat on her bed. Elizabeth sat opposite her, wringing her hands.
"I've been told it's a sort of Holy Communion, a sharing of souls." Jane finally offered.
Elizabeth about rolled her eyes. "I've no use for metaphors! I cannot prepare myself for what is to come unless I know."
"Lizzy, our husbands will show us what to do, we needn't worry."
The thought that Darcy had performed the act before with another woman sent a wave of jealousy through Elizabeth. It was true that men were not held to the same standard as women when it came to desires of the flesh. Women were expected to be virtuous and clean on their wedding nights. Men were almost expected to be well versed in the art of love.
"Have you asked Mama?" Elizabeth questioned.
"I believe she will come to us each in turn." Seeing the look of concern on her sister's face, Jane tried to console her. "Do you remember Mrs. Drake?"
"The Miller's daughter?" Elizabeth knew Mary Owens, the girl who married Mr. Drake. They lived in the neighboring county, but when she was younger she lived with her Father at the mill.
"She and I were friends before she was married. A few weeks after her wedding she was visiting her Father and we happened upon each other in the lane. We took a stroll by the stream and talked. She told me what it was like."
Elizabeth's interest perked up at this, and she leaned forward. "Well?" She prodded.
Jane looked uncomfortable and unwilling to share. "Do you remember when we were younger and we snuck into Mother's room and pulled out her stockings? Do you remember the book we found?"
Elizabeth did remember, but vaguely. They were both very young and Mrs. Bennet was pregnant with Lydia. The book in question was strange, filled with pictures of naked men and women. Elizabeth was just beginning to read, but some of the words were beyond her. The pictures were strange also.
"It is like those pictures. A man and woman undress and lay together in bed. He has a member that hangs between his legs that hardens when aroused and he places it inside the woman. That is what Mrs. Drake told me. It hurts at first, but after a while it doesn't anymore."
If Jane thought her confidence would sooth Elizabeth, it had the opposite effect. Now she was more worried about what was to come than ever. The thought of undressing in front of Mr. Darcy created such odd sensations within her.
Jane bade Elizabeth goodnight and Elizabeth walked from her sister's room to her own. She sat in front of her own mirror and began brushing her long, dark tresses. Her night gown had come undone at the top and part of her upper chest could be seen. Slowly Elizabeth pulled down the fabric, exposing more skin. Memories of Mr. Darcy's kisses came suddenly to her as she dazedly kept pulling the fabric down until her breasts were exposed. Closing her eyes she imagined what it would feel like if Darcy kissed her neck and all the way down to each breast. Startled, she opened her eyes. Unconsciously she had begun to stroke her breast and play with her erect nipples. Her blood was flowing and hot, pulsing in certain areas.
Feeling ashamed she quickly pulled her night gown up and tied the ribbon. Without looking in the mirror she blew out the candle, then rushed into bed.
Elizabeth had awoken early the next morning. She dressed quickly then went down to the kitchen in order to eat a simple slice of bread with butter, so that she could get out of the house and take a stroll alone. She had much to think about.
The morning dew sparkled on the grass as the sun rose higher into the sky. Bird calls were all around, and in the fields men were tending their crops. On the outer edge of the Bennet farms ran a stream. A little pool was further in the brush and was frequented by the neighborhood children during the hot summer days, but on a cool crisp morning like this Elizabeth was sure to be alone.
Sitting on a boulder with her back to a tall tree, Elizabeth closed her eyes and let the sounds of nature wash over her. The stream rushing passed, jumping over rocks mingled with birds hopping from branch to branch and twittering at each other was just what she needed. Away from the house and all her obligations, she could feel relaxed enough to reanalyze her choices.
Her reasons for marrying Mr. Darcy were purely mercenary. She wanted to make him suffer and financially take care of her family at the same time. With Jane marrying Mr. Bingley, she needn't worry about the latter. As to the former, confusing emotions within her seemed to make her anger dissipate whenever the thought of torturing Mr. Darcy came up.
Mr. Darcy, against his Father's wishes, disinherited Mr. Wickham, driving him into the Army where he could make a living. Aside from his arrogance, she couldn't believe this of Mr. Darcy. Would a man, susceptible to censure from society, willingly do such an act? Of course if no one but the family knew the contents of the will, who was there to dispute the action? Mr. Wickham was the other party who could bring to light such a thing, but explained he didn't want to cast a dark shadow on the Darcy name. But once Mr. Darcy had left the county, he had no qualms about spreading the story to anyone who would hear it.
"I must find the truth." Elizabeth stood, resolute. It couldn't be past 10:00, and the men were expected to arrive soon, Mr. Bingley to converse with Mr. Collins, and Mr. Darcy to finalize their own engagement.
"Lizzy, we must go to town for the final fitting of your dress. Ms. Sommers is nearly finished, and I am told there is some fine lace at the milliners that we can have Ms. Sommers embellish the gown with." Elizabeth had hardly stepped foot inside the house when Mrs. Bennet grabbed her arm, plopped her bonnet on top of her head, and escorted her out of the house. "Jane, you must come too, to be measured!"
"I want to go, Mama!" Lydia called from the house.
"No, my dear, you must stay. My nerves cannot take much more than looking after two daughters in town."
Elizabeth looked back to see a pouting Lydia stomp her foot, then storm back into the house.
"Has Mr. Bingley arrived?" Elizabeth asked.
"No, not yet, but Mr. Collins and Charlotte are in the house."
Mrs. Bennet walked between her daughters, trying to keep a steady pace. Soon they arrived in town and while Elizabeth was getting her final fitting done, Jane and Mrs. Bennet were looking at fabrics for Jane's own wedding gown.
"I think that shall do it!" Ms. Sommers said, helping Lizzy back into her dress.
"Oh, Ms. Sommers, I heard that there is some new lace next door. I'll pop over there with Lizzy while you measure Jane."
The store next door had a box of new lace out front. While Mrs. Bennet pawed through the reds, and golds and yellows, Elizabeth looked out the window and noticed a group of Officers across the road.
"Mama, I'll be right back." Elizabeth said, then quickly went out the door before Mrs. Bennet could protest.
Placing her hand on her bonnet so it wouldn't fly off, Elizabeth ran across the street, by passing anything left by horses. She made it to the men just as they seemed to be heading off. Wickham was not in the group, but she noticed Mr. Denny.
"Excuse me." Elizabeth called to him. He stopped, disengaged himself from the others, and bowed to her.
"Yes, Miss Elizabeth? How may I help you?"
"Do you happen to know where Mr. Wickham is?" She asked.
Denny smiled, "Mr. Wickham is, uh, indisposed at the moment."
"He is still sleeping?"
"Yes, we had a rough night last night and he is sleeping off the affects."
"Oh, well, if you see him can you let him know I would like a word with him?"
"Of course, Miss Elizabeth." Denny bowed once again, then headed in the direction his companions had walked.
Elizabeth walked back across the street as her Mother was walking out the door, a parcel in her hand.
"I have the perfect lace, quick, let us go."
Jane had been measured, and Mrs. Bennet dropped off the lace. Ms. Sommers said the dress would be ready by the end of the week and at that time Jane could come in for her final fitting.
Elizabeth felt as if her world were crushing in on her. She had an odd feeling that something life altering was about to happen, but that it wasn't the wedding. She had to reconcile the matter soon.
AN: ack, I almost lost this chapter as I was copying it. Thank goodness of "undo" button.