So, erm, time to earn myself the mature/explicit rating...
Longest chapter of the whole story, I hope I'll be forgiven since more than half of it is smut XD
Okay, smut and mixed signals. Here we go!
(First part is a flashback, second part is back in 2020.)
Seth couldn't remember how they even made it to his front door back that night in 2011, but he remembered his hands trembling as he unlocked the door. He remembered Dean close, so close behind him that he could sense his body warmth even in the air of the summer night.
We couldn't stop now even if we wanted to, Seth thought with a jolt. But he could not even really imagine wanting to stop. He finally got the door open, and as soon as the both were inside, he was pushed back against the wall, hot lips claiming his own and he kissed Dean back as if he was the only thing keeping him from drowning.
His hands dug into Dean's shoulders and he pressed his body up to feel more of him, and he moaned into the kiss when Dean's cock hardened noticeably even through the layers of clothing. Callused hands pulled at his jacket and he let Dean slide it off and drop it to the floor, where Dean's own jacket soon joined it. Dean broke the kiss, panting, and Seth wondered if he saw a question in his eyes.
Seth took the opportunity and pulled the other man down the corridor into his bedroom. He probably would and could have just fucked me standing up, there and then, Seth thought and the idea went straight south.
The spectacular view over the city, its tiny lights and the huge yellow moon were totally lost on them. They only mattered because they illuminated Dean's glistening lips and shiny eyes and made Seth pull him back into another kiss, slamming their lips together and meeting Dean's tongue deep in his mouth. Seth's calves pressed against the frame of the low, Japanese style bed. Dean's hands moved down Seth's back and slipped under his shirt, pulling it up.
Seth shuddered as Dean's fingers caressed his bare back and he willingly lifted up his arms to let Dean remove his shirt, pressing his naked chest instantly back into Dean's shirt while starting a line of kisses down Dean's jaw and into the crook of his neck. The moans and tugging on his hair he received in return made him feel lightheaded and he felt his lower body push even harder into Dean, wanting more, now.
"Seth?" the gravelly whisper right in his ear made the hair on his neck stand up and the dull throb in his pants worsen. He could probably make me come into my pants right now just by saying my name again like that, Seth realized. He managed to squeeze an answering "Hm?" into the kisses and licks he placed on Dean's neck. "You have been with guys before, right?"
Confused, Seth stopped and a small laugh escaped his throat. "Yeah. I have," he mumbled into Dean's throat and for emphasis pulled off Dean's shirt before pressing their bodies together again. "Good." Seth felt how Dean held his head in place, making sure he listened, while Seth felt a heartbeat – his? Dean's? race in their chests. Seth closed his eyes to drink up the dark, deep voice. "Good, because I can't think of anything but just how badly I want to fuck you ever since I walked into that warehouse. Do you want me to? Want me to make you come until you forget your own name?"
A hot flash went all through Seth and he shivered in Dean's arms. "You can do whatever you want with me with that dirty mouth of yours," he whispered back almost without thinking and enjoyed the hitch in Dean's breath. And you don't even know how much I mean this.
But this isn't just dirty talk, Seth suddenly realized. He's asking consent. He's actually, literally asking consent. Stunned, he wondered if he's been ever asked like this before. Or if he had asked anyone like that. "Yeah, I want that…" he breathed against Dean's neck. "Condom, though."
"No problem." Dean removed his arms, presumably to grab the wallet in his back pocket, but Seth stayed his hands. "I got it," he said and swiftly took one from his nightstand, moving back fast to press his lips into Dean's neck again and then slowly kissing and licking his way down. He let his fingers run over Dean's back, playing with the scars that already felt familiar, licking at the pink nipples he had wanted to touch for what seemed like an unbearable amount of time.
Dean tossed his head back and moaned deeply, burying his fingers in Seth's hair. Seth could feel him go for the hair tie at the back of his neck and pull it off, slipping it over his wrist. When Seth went down, closing in on the tempting line of Dean's jeans, he went faster than Dean had expected and the hard tuck on his scalp made him moan hard into Dean's skin. Seth could not make out the words that Dean whispered in return except for "like that" and then the hands in his hair tightened, leaving him just enough freedom to sit down on the low edge of the bed, eye level with the buttons on Dean's jeans.
Seth tried to take his time, steadying himself and putting the condom down next to him to have both hands to slowly unbutton Dean's jeans. Dean was still now, Seth noticed, his fingers like a vice in his hair, but no movement. No twitching, just quiet anticipation.
Dean's skin felt hot when Seth ran his thumbs softly over Dean's waistband.
Against all his inner need, he opened the first button almost in slow motion, listening to Dean's body, feeling his breathing change, grow faster. He turned his eyes up to find Dean's gaze on him, watching his every move, pupils fully blown, lips slightly parted. Bright, hot electricity spread out from Seth's stomach, but he kept his eyes on Dean, even though it made his head swim still more.
He did not look away when he undid the rest of the buttons of Dean's jeans, feeling for each one carefully, moving his fingers as to graze the material of the underwear beneath it, but never too much. Not yet. Still, he could sense the heat and the tension of Dean's dick, aching to be free.
The last button undone, Seth finally turned his gaze back down, breaking the scorching connection between them. The jeans slipped to the floor without any help and so Seth moved on, pushing his hands up the back of Dean's thighs and under the fabric that covered his nice, hard ass. He let his mouth ghost over the straining bulge in Dean's pants for a moment and felt Dean's muscles clench under his hands. He took his time to slide down the last piece of clothing and watched Dean's glistening dick spring free.
Seth smiled as he saw how hard Dean was already, and how much it had grown from what Seth had glimpsed in the communal showers. He was sure Dean could feel his breath on the shining tip. Seth tilted his head up, meeting Dean's eyes again, savoring the look in his eyes, feeling electric jolts running from his throat all the way down.
"Fuck, you're beautiful," he breathed, and only another hitch in Dean's breathing told him that he had said it loud enough. He thought about opening his own jeans, get at least some release while going down on Dean, but he would not, but focus all his attention on Dean instead. He needed to see how far he could take him.
He found the condom by touch and ripped the package open. Closing one hand hard around Dean's shaft made Dean shudder and Seth insides feel like goo, but still, the grip in his hair did not change, not pull him closer. Seth moved his head, his lips, closer, breathing in Dean's very own scent and with one fluent movement, licked Dean's cock all the way from the base up to just below his tip. He was rewarded with another full body jolt and slid the condom on easily.
Seth could hear Dean moan and whisper "Please…" and finally put the head of Dean's dick softly between his lips. He looked up again and found Dean's gaze still on him. Unable and unwilling to break the connection, Seth let his tongue swirl around the head, drinking in the reaction in Dean's eyes.
Putting his free hand back on Dean's ass, he could feel the muscles work, react to every movement of his lips and his tongue. Seth tried to pace himself, close the distance between his mouth and his hand by fractions only, altering the pressure, ignoring the taste of flavored rubber on his tongue and his own need to be touched. He let Dean's cock slide out and back in deeper ever so slightly in the same steady rhythm, never lowering his gaze.
He still doesn't push me, though. Seth thought. No force on his scalp to go faster. No hard thrusts into his mouth. Just the soft stream of moans and whispered, scrambled, almost shy encouragements, and the little sweet reactions he felt running all through Dean's body.
Dean's tip was grazing the back of his throat now, and Seth flicked his eyes down for an instant, making sure he was breathing the right way, before easing his mouth further down, keeping his rhythm. He felt Dean's tip gliding down and choke him, and he needed a moment to adjust to just how hard the sensation made him, but then he kept hungry eyes on Dean, his pace slow and steady.
He was rewarded with a gaze becoming unfocussed and a deep, throaty growl from Dean as he threw his head back, and another hard shiver that almost made Seth lose his pace. "Holy fuck," he heard Dean whisper. "Where did you…" but the rest was lost as Seth went for the next millimeters, only pulling away ever so slightly to keep breathing. He could feel Dean's dick getting even harder now, bigger, more difficult to swallow, and damn was that worth it all by itself.
His own erection was straining against his jeans, and Dean was shivering all over now, repeating "Fuck, yes, just like that," mindlessly, both hands now buried in Seth's hair. Patience out of the window, Seth went down, down, all the way until his nose hit coarse hair. He wanted to feel all of Dean, see how long he could take it before he would run out of air, or feel Dean come undone inside of him…
"Stop, Seth, stop please." It must have taken all of Dean's strength to say this and Seth was off of him in a flash, panting, looking up half worried, half confused as Dean, still trembling, pushed his hair back from his eyes. "Don't make me come yet," he whispered, adjusting the condom. "Not yet. I wanna come when I fucked you senseless." Dean leaned down and drew Seth into another long, deep kiss and Seth realized how swollen his lips were, how raw against Dean's.
"Get a new condom?" Dean asked when they had to stop for air, but Seth just shook his head mutely. Dean stepped out of his remaining clothes, lifted him up and put him down on his back, one hand protecting his head from hitting the wooden headboard.
Protecting his head. Seth realized vaguely as Dean kissed his way down his chest and abs how much hadn't been expecting that. In his dirty thoughts, their first time had usually happened in the locker room, or in the shower, being pressed against a wall and fucked raw without mercy. What you would expect from two guys who had been beating each other up for weeks straight? But then that was bullshit, of course. Two guys who had been fighting for weeks without as much as causing a visible bruise on the other one. Sometimes, you start to fall for your own stories.
All coherent thought immediately evaporated as soon as Dean made it to the waistband of his jeans, returning the favor and unbuttoning him slowly, painfully avoiding touching him too much just yet. Seth closed his eyes and let the sensation wash over him, pushing up against Dean's touch, but feeling his hips pressed back down. Then Dean slid off his jeans and underwear in one go, exposing Seth's hard dick that was wet with pre-cum.
Seth could hear Dean's breath quicken as he leaned down and kissed his way around Seth's erection, careful not to touch him, still pushing his hips down. Seth felt his body strain against Dean's grip, his back arching with pleasure, begging for more contact. Dazed, he took a small bottle of lube from the nightstand and pushed it between the fingers that were holding him down. Dean looked up and their eyes met again, making Seth's head even fuzzier, and he thrust one of his hands into Dean's curls and pushed against the bed frame with the other.
Dean's breath ghosted over the glistening wet parts of Seth's dick and Seth moaned at the sudden cold sensation, twisted his fingers tighter into the dark blonde hair, but tried not to push up more, tried to let Dean set the pace.
One hand had disappeared from his hips and Seth now felt Dean's lubed up finger cold against his entrance, short nails circling against the rim. The moan that came from his lips probably woke all the neighbors, but Seth did not care. He tossed his head back, yearning for more, but Dean worked slowly, finally, finally entering him with the tip of one finger and when he found no resistance, pushing on.
Seth opened his eyes again to find Dean staring at him, checking his reactions, and Seth pleaded with his eyes for more. He remembered Dean's cock in his throat, all the way down, filling him up, taking him straight to the edge and he wanted that again, now. But then, looking into Dean's eyes like this did all the things to him that Dean's fingers alone could not. He felt almost spellbound by the dark gaze on him, the shining wet lips just visible in the moonlight. It made his insides feel liquid and hot and almost made him miss when Dean entered his second digit, scissoring him softly and slowly.
"Fuck me," Seth whispered towards Dean. "Please, fuck me now."
Months later, this would have caused Dean to grin wickedly, call him greedy and torture Seth with at least another fifteen minutes of mind-numbingly slow foreplay. But this first time, Seth saw Dean swallow and heard him rasp out "You sure?" Seth thought again of Dean in his throat, all of it. He nodded. "Damn sure. Please."
Dean removed his fingers, shifted between Seth's legs and lined his dick up with Seth's entrance. He pushed the tip in and Seth met him for all he could, pushing up against him, still not feeling enough of Dean inside him. Dean moved his body down towards Seth, until one hand rested on each side of his head and he could kiss Seth's lips again and again until Seth felt them burn. Then, Dean finally moved up again, eyes firmly on Seth's face and Seth felt how Dean started to push himself in all the way.
For a second, he wondered if he could stand the fire in Dean's gaze, but then again, he could not close his eyes or turn his head away either. He sensed every millimetre of Dean's cock as it slowly slid inside him, finally filling him up, finally giving him what he wanted, but Dean's eyes almost turned him inside out at the same time. The intensity of both at the same time made him wonder how long he could take this without blacking out.
When Dean bottomed out, skin pressed firmly on skin, eyes still locked, Seth felt like bursting and noticed how he had stopped breathing, to busy looking, too busy feeling.
Dean's arms suddenly buckled and he dropped on Seth's chest, his head next to Seth's in the pillows. "Fuck," he rasped in a dark voice that made Seth moan, now that he got back to breathing. "I'm sorry I won't last long as I want to, but, hell, how can you feel so fucking perfect?" The whispered words made Seth clutch Dean tightly to him, and softly, he shifted his hips and wrapped his legs around Dean so that he could fuck himself gently on Dean's dick. "You feel so good inside me, show me what you can do…" he breathed.
This at least happened the way Seth had always imagined it. Dean pushed himself up and started fucking into him with unpredictable changes in speed and depth, almost impaling him the one second, just to go on teasing him by nearly pulling out the next moment. Seth let his hands roam over Dean's back, into his curls, arched into him and tried to wriggle away in reaction to Dean's thrusts. But no matter what he did with his hips, Dean's lips were almost constantly on his own, licking, biting, falling in and out of deep kisses, sometimes trailing off down his neck but always coming back.
Dean had his eyes open most of the time, and Seth found he could not close his, but kept watching Dean's every movement, getting familiar with every line of his face, every expression, every curl in his hair. When Dean moved his lips back up to Seth's face this time, Seth could feel him shift his stance again, fucking him at a different angle, trying to read the reaction in his eyes. Almost on instinct, Seth's body answered, allowing Dean to hit just the spot he was looking for.
Seth felt his eyes flutter shut as he threw his head back and grabbed for the headboard, but found nothing on the smooth wood to hold on to. Instead, he felt fingers against his hand and as he turned his head, he saw his right hand locked into Dean's on the pillow next to him. How the fuck are we ever going to do that in-ring again? he thought briefly, but then Dean hit his prostate again, and again, and Seth let himself fall into the feeling, pressing Dean's hand tight with each thrust that hit home, arching his back, trying to get more friction on his own aching dick, grabbing for Dean's hair.
He was close now; he could feel his body tingle all over and his insides burn. Still, Dean did not let up, hitting him hard with every thrust now and Seth felt vaguely how his body let go, stopped tensing but instead became almost boneless. His mind felt wrapped in cotton and his eyes closed on their own accord because the lids just felt too heavy to keep them open. He could not think, act, just feel how his whole body turned to goo, pooling hot in his belly but spreading into every fiber, Dean's thrusts like a faint pulse, firing the way he came apart…
"Seth!" His named seemed far away, like under water. The pulse had stopped and it felt like the end of the world. "Seth!" clearer now, and a soft slap, more like a pat, of a hand against his face. Seth found the strength to open his eyes and saw Dean close, sweaty, trembling, eyes dark with worry and restraint. "Fuck, Seth, are you okay?" he breathed. Seth could still feel Dean buried inside him to the hilt.
An inner flash went off, committing it all to Seth's memory: His own heavy body, the sensation of Dean deep inside him, but most of all, the expression in Dean's eyes. Another image he would take to his grave.
Seth struggled for speech, but finally managed: "Yes… so close... don't stop." He could feel Dean's sigh of relief on his face. "Okay then," he whispered, "Come for me. Come for me baby." Dean shifted to find the space to grab Seth's dick, slick with pre-cum, and stroked it softly, picking up speed to match his own thrusts. Seth felt his body tighten at the touch alone, and in no time he could feel the overwhelming rush all through his body, hitting him hard enough to make his ears ring.
His come felt hot on his chest and Dean's thrusts became wild, irregular and then he could feel him tense all over. Seth opened his eyes just in time to look at Dean again, still riding the last waves of his orgasm, gaze fixed on his face. A few moments, both of them just stared. "Holy shit," Dean finally whispered softly.
He leaned down again and kissed Seth once more, softly, almost shy. In the back of his mind, Seth could suddenly hear their trainer's voice from days before: "If that's what they manage just like that, imagine what they can do with some practice!" He suppressed a laugh, not wanting to explain.
He had been right about this, though. In the following weeks, it had almost been scary how Dean had managed to find all the things he liked, wanted, needed. And Seth had also not been all that wrong about Dean having other needs, too. Somehow, he understood instinctively that pain, whether giving or receiving it, was not the occasional fun it was to him, but something deeper, darker, that Dean did not want to discuss, and with Seth, he never had to.
But what Seth had learned most of all was that what Dean needed most was trust - the certainty that just like when the arena was empty and the cameras had stopped rolling, there would be no resentment, no carrying over of what had been said and done. That behind all the show, the rules were clear, a safeword needed was spoken and a spoken safeword obeyed, secrets kept. So when months later, Seth suddenly found himself pushed hard into the wall of an empty shower stall and felt Dean enter him with one swift, delicious, vision-blackening thrust, whispering filth into his ear, Seth had the odd feeling that things had come full circle.
Back then, on their first night, Dean had insisted on finding something to wipe them down. "You stay down for a while," he told Seth as he tried to get up. "You don't even know where…" Seth mumbled drowsily. "I'll find it," Dean said, kissed Seth's lips one more time and disappeared into the flat, where Seth could hear him rummage. He turned up with a washcloth and helped Seth to clean his chest, carefully, gently, but not meeting his gaze. Then he slipped to the edge of the bed and started picking up his clothes.
"You've got to be kidding me," Seth blurted out, all lightheadedness gone, staring at Dean's back. "Man, I know you're sleeping in your car, are you serious right now?" Dean still did not turn around. "You know…" he said gently "My insomnia… look, I'd probably fall asleep now, but then I'd be awake at four a.m. and you'd be pissed and kick me out then, so…" Dean had gotten up to pull up his jeans, but he still did not meet Seth's gaze. That's not really it, Seth thought to himself. But something in him made him decide not to question it but just go all in.
"Okay, I've got a better plan. You stay, and if you wake up at four a.m., you wake me up too, we switch and I fuck you until you're exhausted enough to stay in bed all weekend. Deal?" That at least got Dean's attention, and Seth tried his best innocent smile. It had been a gamble, but he was pretty certain he had seen a tell-tale twitch where Dean had not yet zipped up his jeans. And the surprised look on his face was also almost worth it in itself.
"Sure?" Dean asked softly, but Seth just rolled his eyes and moved to the far corner of the bed. "Just get your ass back to bed," he grinned and turned. He had decided on a strategy, would give Dean space, if that was what he wanted. He breathed a quiet sigh of relief when he heard the rustle of jeans slipping back to the floor and felt the mattress sag behind him.
He had not expected the arm that curled around his waist, and lips on his neck, a warm body pressed so very close behind him. Seth stared out into the still moonlit room. "Should probably close the curtains, if you got trouble sleeping…" he said.
"Don't get up," Dean mumbled into his neck in an already sleepy voice, warm breath caressing the hair on Seth's neck in regular intervals. Seth wanted to shake his head in confusion, but remained still, letting himself fall back into the embrace instead. He let his fingers brush over Dean's arm and his own hair tie, finally lacing them into the hand on his chest. They were both asleep in seconds.
„I can see that you have been really worried I would not come back," Dean said mockingly as he put down the bags on the table of the hotel room. "Sleeping like a baby," he added. "You really can sleep everywhere." Seth removed the arm from his face and sat up on the bed.
"I wasn't asleep," he said, not sure if it was true. "Just thinking." "What about, exactly?" How you literally almost fucked me senseless on our first night together. And why you nearly bailed on me afterwards, Seth thought. "Forget it," he mumbled instead.
"Well, good thing that I actually did some thinking," Dean said and tossed something at Seth which he caught by sheer reflex. Hair coloration. Only now he realized the amount of bags that Dean had lugged back into their room. And the smell of food. "Hair first, food while we wait," Dean announced, reading Seth's thoughts. "I even remembered to bring gloves." he beamed proudly.
Seth played with the color in his hand. "Don't you think I better cut my hair off? Wouldn't that be safer?" he asked, but Dean shook his head vigorously. "No, don't. Part of your look. WWE might be less willing to take you back…" Dean saw that Seth tried to interrupt him, but kept talking. "… and even if WWE won't take you back, if you keep that hair long, you can have a hair vs. mask match or something at another promotion. You keep the hair. Maybe shave the beard, that alone will probably make you look like you're 19 again," Dean grinned. Seth nodded briefly. "I think I'll shave my hair, though," Dean mused.
"No." Seth had said it before he could stop himself. "Why?" Dean gave him a baffled look. Because I'd miss the way it feels to curl my fingers into it. Because I've been missing that for too long already. Seth swallowed. Goddamn it, snap out of it, you're no help to anyone here. "I think they would be expecting that. Or mistake you for a skinhead, or something. Dye your hair, too, maybe we'd… pass as brothers or something," Seth finished lamely. Did any of this make any sense? "Hm. Should have grabbed dark contact lenses, then…" Dean mused. "But they always made my eyes water. Hm, okay, if you say so, I'll dye mine too. Brought more color than we can use anyway."
While Dean rummaged in his bags, Seth stepped into the hotel bathroom. In contrast to the bedroom, he suddenly understood why this hotel was so cheap. "Okay, we'll have to do it at the sink," he called out to Dean. "If I even look at the shower one more time, I think I'm going to gag." "Didn't know you even had a ga – " Dean's answer ended so abruptly that Seth stepped out of the bathroom to check on him immediately while his words sunk in. "What?" he asked and tried to ignore the memories that were screaming for his attention. Get down on your knees and do what you do best.
"Nothing," Dean mumbled, his back turned, but Seth could see the blush reach up to Dean's ears. So you're thinking about this, too. "Can't find the gloves..." Dean told the bags. "Bought some extra towels, too..." Seth shook his head again. Focus, for God's sake. Get the blonde patch out. He pulled off his hoodie and his shirt and undid the bun at the nape of his neck. The blonde side felt dry and itchy between his fingers. "Got it!" Dean said triumphantly and turned, gloves and towels in hand.
Seth could feel his gaze almost like a physical sensation, going from his hair down his chest and to his abs. He could see Dean's expression change, lips parting, eyes darkening.
Fuck, I didn't know I needed this. Needed to know I can still do this to you.
The silence got unnaturally long, but Seth found he could make his dry mouth say anything. "You look good," Dean finally ventured, turning his eyes down and Seth heard the sadness in his voice. "Well, Wrestlemania-shape – you know what it's like. Everyone half-mad with overwork and starvation," Seth made an attempt to say it lightly. "Yeah," Dean answered, still looking away. "I know."
"Come on, let's do this. How does that color work?" Seth picked up the small box from the bed. "Okay, hair wet, color in, 20 minutes or so depending on natural color – well, ok, that's going to be interesting – wash out, put in care product. Good, easy. Got a brush or something?" Dean had put down the gloves and towels in the bathroom and went for the bags again. "Think so." He fished out several more bottles of the same hair color and also found the brush.
"Start with yours? Will be more difficult." Seth nodded. "Probably should be taking my stuff off , too…" it sounded to self-conscious that Seth almost turned his back before thinking better of it.
Under the big hoodie Dean really had become thin, thinner even than he had been some time in WWE, but it was clear that he had not stopped working out, and working out hard. "Looking good, too!" Seth said and meant it. Dean scoffed. "Well, could not show up to meet Hunter, inactive but still bulky as fuck, looking like I haven't seen a gym in years…" he trailed off. "Still, hard to keep the muscle mass…" Seth found himself staring at Dean's small waist and wondered what it would be like to lift him now, or to put his hands around those hips and… Really, stop, Seth. Now. "Well, then let's hurry up so we can get some food in you," Seth said, went to the bathroom and put his head under the cold tap. It didn't help. He hadn't expected it to.
Dean joined him, flinched as he felt the water temperature and turned it up without asking. With one hand, Dean rubbed shampoo into Seth's hair, one hand came to rest on Seth's back, his thumb drawing small circles on his skin. He was circling the last kanji of his tattoo, Seth knew. The one that said "Loyalty". It had always been the place where Dean's hand would land, playing with that particular spot on his skin. Loyalty. It had unnerved him sometimes, as if it was an unspoken question, like a test. Are you really loyal? Or will this mark go away if I rub hard enough? And Seth thought he had been loyal – had been there for Dean. Had kept their secret. But sometimes, he wondered if that had been enough. Well, loyal enough to run away with you. That must count for something.
Dean turned off the tap and pushed a towel into Seth's hand. While Seth tried to brush his hair, Dean maneuvered a chair into the bathroom and ordered Seth to sit. "I'll try to do it evenly, but I don't really know what I'm doing here…" Dean said as he pulled the towel around Seth's shoulders. Seth shrugged slightly. "As long as I look less like a circus-runaway afterwards… will you dye the dark side, too?" Dean looked helpless at the box and back at Seth. "I tried to match your natural color, but it's even a little bit darker, I think… but I bought loads, just to be sure. So I could dye it all." "Do that," Seth decided. "Let's get it over with."
Seth closed his eyes and let Dean do his work. He had never cared that much about what WWE had told him to do with his looks, but while Dean ran the muzzle of the dye over his hair, he knew he was losing another piece of his career, of this era of his life. No matter. It was just hair, and Dean had not even let him cut it, though Seth doubted it would make a difference in the long run. He was spoiled goods now, probably for any wrestling company.
But then, he had vetoed Dean cutting off his hair for worse reasons. He tried not to focus on Dean's touch, carefully moving strands of hair with gloved hands, but he knew it was useless. Dean's concentration was even audible in the way he drew breath. Without opening his eyes, Seth could imagine how close to his face Dean's body would be and he breathed in the familiar scent, still very present in spite of the smell of the dye. It had been so long since they had been this close – he might as well enjoy it.
Much too quickly, at least in Seth's opinion, Dean was done – in more ways than one, as Seth found out when he opened his eyes. Dean looked as if he had just finished a major workout. "I have no idea if it's okay like this, difficult with the curls… " he said and fidgeted with the open bottle in a way that made Seth carefully steady his wrists. He checked his image in the tiny bathroom mirror, but could hardly see anything. "Will do," he announced. "Your turn."
They switched places, washed Dean's hair and Seth went to work. "Easier for you, not that much hair left!" Dean muttered under his breath. "Silly," Seth told him. "Hold still." He could feel Dean fidget under him to the point where Seth took off one glove and just put a hand on the towel on Deans shoulder, as if to steady himself. I got you, remember? he thought, willing the idea to enter Dean through the hand on his shoulder. No matter what we're doing, I got you. You're safe with me. Slowly, Seth could feel the muscles under his hand relax. And did he lean into him just a little bit? Seth felt a little tug at his heart, but went on with his task.
Doing Dean's shorter hair really did not take much time. "We forgot to set a clock," Dean realized. "Well, we'll have to guess now," Seth considered. "But let's eat, anyway. What did you get us?" Dean grinned. "Took your advice, went into a store where I could not even guess what nationality they were. Ordered blindly by number – I hope there's nothing in there you ever had as pet, but I'll give no guarantees…" They had cleaned the bathroom and put anything that could stain in plastic bags as far as they could before they went back to the tower of bags that Dean had brought. "Smells delicious, anyway," Seth commented and opened the first container that he picked up. They sat on the bed and ate, trying to keep their heads steady, and Seth was glad to find that the dead animal in his lunch had probably been a chicken.
"So, what else did you buy there?" he asked Dean in between bites. "Clothes, for one" Dean answered, mouth half-full. "Found a store where they sold knock-off suits and stuff. Thought that might be a good idea – I mean, we're both in pretty baggy stuff right now, we'd be less recognizable if we dress up… Got a few trousers, shirts, jackets. Had to guess your size, but the stuff was incredibly cheap and I had more than enough money… most of the stuff will be too small for you, I guess…" Seth felt Dean's gaze on his shoulders and arms and hoped the blush would be attributed to the hot food.
"Good thinking. Anything else?" Dean swallowed and poked distractedly at his food. "I… I got pre-paid phones. To call Ro. Tell him not to worry." "Maybe get some info what's going on, if we're really lucky…" Seth added. "You think it's safe to call him from that pre-paid?" Dean asked. Seth sighed in return. "We know the police are with them. And Roman sent us all these messages behind their backs… honestly, I think they would be very stupid not to monitor his phone. It's no secret how much he cares about us. We call, they get the location, they can basically pick us up. We need to be smarter about this…" he took a few more bites of his food. "Damn. I should have listened more closely when Daniel rambles about surveillance of the population and stuff." Dean snorted into his food.
"I remember though that pictures are less easy to intercept than text. Maybe we send a picture, telling him that he should call our number, but not from his phone?" Seth asked. Dean put down his box and went for the bags. "Phones have no camera…" he announced. "Maybe that's not so bad…" Seth mused. "Look, if we send this from the prepaid, it's still strange and maybe they'll investigate…. Do you think there is any chance we can get to someone's phone long enough to send a picture to Roman?" Dean frowned. "You have a lot of faith in my criminal energy, I can tell. But yeah. I think I know how I would do that. So, we would write the pre-pay number and that he should not use his own phone to call us on a card, get to someone else's phone, take a picture and send that? Risky." "Yes," Seth agreed. "More risk for us. Probably least risky for Ro." Dean nodded. There was no need to say that they agreed.
"Should we try to make the card less suspicious somehow? If they do look at everything that reaches Ro's phone?" Seth finished his food and had to stop himself mid-movement before running his hands through his hair accidentally. "What kind of messages is Roman probably getting right now?" "Well wishes for tomorrow." Dean answered immediately. "Probably from every aunt and cousin, his phone is probably about to burst anyway…"
"Good!" Seth decided. "Then that's what we do. Get a card. Write the message to Roman as if we are some wacky aunt who did not really make the transition from real cards to e-cards and so sends photos of her hand-written cards. Wish him good luck and, oh, I've got a new number, call me, but not from your mobile, that's so expensive." He looked up at Dean and saw the other man smile broadly. "Would really suck if we accidentally choose the name of a real aunt. Hell. I don't know all their names. Ro probably doesn't. I hope he just recognizes our handwriting. But, okay, good idea. We need to think how to word this thing so that he gets what we mean, but yeah."
Again, Seth stopped himself just in time before reaching for his hair. "I think I need to get that stuff out. Starts to itch." He announced. "Sure." Dean took the empty food containers and put then in an empty bag. "Oh, of course, forgot –" Dean grabbed for another bag and handed over bottled water. "Need to keep you hydrated." He smiled and Seth almost dropped the bottle as he needed to stomp on yet another memory. Blissful exhaustion, ropes holding his wrists, lips cracked, and then a hand on the back of his head and water on his lips. "Need to keep you hydrated, baby. I'll take good care of you." Seth groaned inwardly and turned towards the bathroom. "Let's see how this turned out then."
Seth thought that it took ages until the water in the basin finally stayed clear enough and he could feel his neck complaining about the unnatural position. Escaped a match against Brock Lesnar just to ruin his neck while dyeing his hair. Priceless. He wrapped his head into one of the towels he brought and tried to massage the muscles on his neck briefly. "You good?" Dean asked, a pained expression on his face. Seth shrugged in reply. "Not too bad. You think it turned out okay?" Dean's face gave him away before he had said the words. "Not sure, to be honest." Seth pulled out a few strands and glanced at them. "Hm. Let's wait until it's dry, do yours."
They switched positions again and Seth watched Dean fold himself up to get his head under the tap. "Shoulder hurt much?" he asked quietly, taking in the slightly asymmetrical stance. "Not more than always," Dean mumbled and Seth found himself stroking Dean's other shoulder lightly before putting on the gloves and washing Dean's hair. Without asking, he rubbed Dean's hair dry as well and put in the care product, wanting to spare him the trouble of lifting the injured arm over his head. "I think I dyed your ear. Sorry," Seth stated. Dean checked himself in the mirror. "Oh well, I'll get if off. Can't see anything in that tiny mirror, though. You get the blow dryer, shave if you want, I find us something to wear…"
When Seth had dried his hair, and shaved off his beard, he found trousers, a shirt and a jacket hanging on the inside of the door and put them on. Dean had done a good job – apart from being unable to close the top button of his shirt, the stuff fit reasonably well. He stepped out to find Dean dressed in the same outfit – black dress pants and jacket, white shirt. He couldn't help but grin. "Fancy - completely unrecognizable, I'd say. How about me? Looking 19 again?" "More like 12, really," Dean smiled but the smile froze when he looked at Seth's hair. "That bad?" he asked and went to stand in front of the big bedroom mirror.
It really was no good. While he could see no change in the dark side of his head, the formerly light side was patchy, with blond shining through irregularly when he turned his head in the light. "Well, it's less obvious than it was before," Seth tried to comfort Dean. "I think the product was just no good." "Should we try again?" Dean asked. "Nah. I'm scared they'll fall out if we do that." He found his hair tie and sorted through the strands, trying to bring the darkest to the top of his head and then collecting the curls in a bun. When he looked back up, Dean had joined him in front of the mirror and met his eyes in the glass. He looked at the two of them, same height, same clothes, same haircolor.
Carefully, Dean slipped his good arm around Seth's shoulder, and on autopilot, Seth's arm went around Dean's waist and his hand came to rest on a hipbone that felt sharp under his fingertips.
"So, you think we pass as brothers? Dean asked Seth through the mirror. Seth stared back into the familiar blue, framed by darker strands now, saw their bodies close together and suddenly felt Dean's arm heavy on him, the scent of Dean's skin filling his mind. He met Dean's eyes again and could feel his stomach flip, his heart surge.
I'll never think of you as a brother, he thought and turned before he even knew what he was doing, closing the suddenly unbearable gap between them. His lips brushed Dean's own, soft, warm, so well-known, but suddenly, he there was the stubble of Dean's cheek and he felt Dean's hand, soft but firm on the back of his head.
Dean had turned him away, but still held on to him – one arm flung across his back, hugging him tight, but denying him anything else. Seth buried his burning face in the crook of Dean's neck and let him stroke his hair, too embarrassed to look up, fighting down the sinking feeling in his stomach.
Still, he held on to Dean and felt his lips close to his ear. Seth stilled to hear what he would say… but after a second, there was a hitch in Dean's breath, and he hugged him tighter, pressed the lightest kiss on the top of Seth's ear…but he did not say anything.
Better, maybe, Seth thought through the pain, the rejecton. Best thing you can come up with, with all the shit that's going on, trying to get into his pants in a cheap by-the-hour hotel when you should be getting away. He woke up next to a dead woman just hours ago, for fuck's sake. You officially lost your mind.
Dean let go softly and turned towards the bags without meeting Seth's eyes. "I… might have a plan where we can go. Maybe stay for longer. It… it just would mean we would probably have to drag someone else into this." Dean sighed. "I… I trust him. But I need your opinion." Seth leaned back against a wall, not trusting his legs, but the idea of sitting on the bed made him feel sick.
"Okay. Who is it then?" he said, his voice brittle in spite of his effort. Dean told him. Seth took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Him. Well, that made sense. And it hurt. Like hell.
You're jealous. Actually jealous. And you always thought that didn't happen to you. Brilliant day to change your mind on that. But – this is not about you. He tried to push away the jealousy, the rejection, and find a solution beyond this.
"Where does he live at the moment?" he asked. Dean pulled out a road map and sat down on the bed. He looked at Seth again, and there was worry, uncertainty in his gaze. "I think we could make it there by early evening, if nothing happens – his place is around here…" he pointed at the map and Seth felt himself become unstuck from the wall. Do you worry that I won't help you because you don't want to kiss me? I hope you know me better than that. And I hope I actually am better than that.
Seth sat down next to Dean and studied the map. "Early evening is a good guess, I think. You can find his place?" "Been there a couple of times lately, yeah…" Ah.
"He lives alone?" "Yeah. And I think he said he would spend the Wrestlemania weekend alone at home. But even if he's not at home…" Dean frowned "I might have the combination to the gate memorized…" "Yeah, like the unlock code to my phone." "You never changed it from saying SHIELD." Seth smiled without meeting Dean's eyes. "Yes, I never did." He took another deep breath. It still hurt, but what did it matter? "Let's try this. I think he will help us."
Dean nodded and folded up the map. "Okay, thank you. Then we should probably clean up and get going. And there's another thing…" he went for the bags again, searching.
When Dean turned back around, Seth found himself looking into the barrel of a gun.
Yeah, sorry, that was somewhat cruel and unusual. I hope you didn't suffer too much emotional whiplash!
I think you might be pleased to know that the next chapter will take us back exactly to where we left off.
((And that concludes a whole week of me flailing and re-editing this chapter, much to the amusement of my friends, because I have never written (or posted!) smut before.))
I hope you enjoyed it, thanks for reading, see you Sunday!