Chapter 10: A New Light

Ginny watched Draco walk away. How could he do this to her? How? She couldn't even manage to look Harry, Ron, or Hermione in the face as they trudged back silently to the school. Her head was flooded with activity. Questions, thoughts, and memories kept coming back to her, making the pain even worse.

Hadn't Draco said he loved her? Hadn't he cared?

Yes…he had…before.

She'd pushed him too far. She hadn't been enough for him. These thoughts came un-welcomed and tore at Ginny's heart. What had she done? She could've been happy with Draco. They could've spent almost every waking moment together, just enjoying the other person's company.

Before she knew it, Ginny and the trio were stepping through the portrait whole into the common room. Ginny walked directly to her room, avoiding everyone's questioning looks.

"Ginny!" She heard Ron call out after her, but she couldn't face her brother, not now and maybe not ever. After all, he'd been right all along. She couldn't ever be with Draco.

She collapsed on her bed, feeling the misery consume her. Ginny tried to sleep, but something was still trying to hold onto Draco. Some part of her didn't want to let him go that easily. An idea hit her, one that might not do anything, but she needed to do it…for herself. Ginny pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. She pressed the quill to the parchment instantly, the words flowing from the deepest part of her heart.

Draco,

I know you may not ever want to hear or see me again, and if that's the case, then I won't stand in your way. But before we go on acting like the other person doesn't exist, I need to explain a few things…some things I feel you have the right to know.

Oh, where to start, where to start. Early on you figured out what Christian was doing to me. You and no one else. Everyone else was completely oblivious. Eventually, Harry, Hermione, and my brother discovered what you already knew, and before I realized what I was doing, I blamed you. I know, I know, it was stupid and idiotic of me, but I did it nonetheless. I'd like to say that Christian forced me to say it, but that's not the truth. He did threaten me, warning me that I couldn't tell anyone that it was him, but that still doesn't make what I did right.

You know that everything I said to you about moving on and forgetting you was all a lie, right? Well, if you don't, then I hope you know it now. All the lies I told you about how we couldn't ever be together were wrong. You were right. If we would've both worked at what we had, then we could've made it.

But that's the past, and I'm getting carried away. Back to my explanation.

So I blamed all my injuries on you, saying that you were the one abusing me. The trio believed me in an instant, and they set out straight away to confront you. We soon found you down by the lake, unfortunately, and you found out about the lie I told them. I've never felt more worse in my entire life when I looked up at your face and saw how betrayed you looked. It nearly killed me.

Everything got so out of hand…I…I don't know what else to tell you. I guess, once it was all over with Christian I thought we could be together. I learned how important it was to be with the person you love, and I wasn't about to let my brother, family, or any other person stand in my way of being with you.

Little did I know, you had already moved. I hurt you too much for you to forgive me. I accept this fact, and I want you to know that I'll regret this for the rest of my life.

I guess I should stop. You probably won't even read this, but if you do, I want you to take away only two things from this whole letter.

One, I am so incredibly sorry. I never meant to hurt you, and it kills me that I hurt you so much.

Two…well…I love you. I love you more than anything else in this whole entire world.

Well, that's it. Goodbye, Draco. The most I can ask from you is that you could find it in your heart to forgive me.

Love always,

Ginny

Ginny finished the letter with tears streaming down her porcelain cheeks. Writing all that down had taken a lot out of her, and she hoped Draco would at least read it. Ginny grabbed one of her roommate's owls and tied the letter.

"To Draco Malfoy," she told the bird quietly. In one big swoosh, it took off out the window, out to find its recipient. She watched it fade into the night with remorse, but at least she could sleep now. She'd told Draco everything that she couldn't say to his face, and that's all she could do. What happened next was entirely up to him.

Draco was stationed in his dormitory bedroom. He had stormed into the castle and walked straight to his Head Boy room, trying to calm himself down, but anger and sadness at his own actions were controlling his mood.

A sharp rapping on the window interrupted his thoughts.

He huffed in annoyance but went to the window anyway where, floating serenely in front of his face, was a plain, brown barn owl. He took the letter tied around its foot, and the bird flew away.

His heart sank the moment he recognized the flowing script: it was from Ginny. He threw it aside, utterly disgusted. The nerve of her! Ever since he had returned to his room, he had let his anger get the better side of him. Who cared what happened to Ginny? Who cared if she got hurt? Hell, he was the one who had been hurt!

His anger was controlling him, so he refused to read the letter. Draco leaned back on his bed and fell asleep instantly.

The next morning was incredibly dull and boring. Actually, the following mornings were incredibly lame, but for Ginny, they were also incredibly painful. Draco had kept up his angry stance and wasn't speaking to her at all. She'd tried to talk to him after class a couple of times and tried to start a conversation when she bumped into him in the hallways, but nothing worked. He wouldn't even look at her.

Ginny was miserable.

As for Draco, he was doing all right. He tried to forget everything that included Ginny as much as possible, and for the most part, he was pretty good at it. He managed to swing back into the life he'd lived when Ginny was just some annoying, little girl that he didn't know or care about. He had the girls fawning over him–though he couldn't ever stop that–but now he was paying attention to them. Before, all he ever had time to think about was Ginny, but now, his range of girls was enormous.

Yes, Draco was doing alright.

…Or that's what he told himself. Somewhere amidst the girls, a feeling tore at Draco's heart. He couldn't figure out what it was for the life of him! But every single second of every single day it tugged and nagged at him, telling him that something wasn't right…that something was missing.

But besides that, Draco was fine. Yes, he was doing alright.

Charms class was very uncomfortable for Ginny. She sat alone, in the back of the class, in the seat she used to occupy. She was no longer welcome in the spot next to Draco, she didn't want to be anywhere near Christian, and she couldn't stand the sympathetic and concerned looks that she got from the trio.

What was even worse was that Ginny's magic was off. She couldn't do self-illusioning at all, and when Flitwick asked her to give an example again, he was very disappointed. She couldn't do nonverbal magic either. Every time she tried to send her cushion zooming around the classroom, it just sat stupidly on her table, completely motionless.

Ginny was feeling hopeless. She could feel the similar symptoms of depression that she once had overcoming her again. The feelings she experienced were dark and disheartening, but somehow comforting with their familiarity. Ginny knew she shouldn't welcome back those depressing feelings, but it somehow felt right. Everything that had gone on with Draco was way too good to be true. All the attention she had gotten from her brother and his best friends wouldn't last. It just felt right to go back to the dark, little hole that she had momentarily crawled out of.

"Ginny?" Her brother called out to her. Ginny was walking up to her dormitory when the voice stopped her…but only momentarily. She kept walking, more than ready to close herself up and bottle up everything.

"Come on, Gin, get back here." Hermione's voice struck a little deeper than her brother's. She, at least, had a bit of Ginny's interests at heart. She turned around slowly to see the Wonder Team facing her determinedly.

"Ginny, we're worried about you," Harry said. These words made Ginny roll her eyes. Right, she thought. They were fine when someone was beating the crap out of her, but now that she was free and safe, they were 'worried' about her. Ginny turned around and kept walking to her dormitory.

"Ginny, please!" Hermione's voice was so sad, so desperate. Ginny couldn't take it.

"What? What do you want with me?" Her tone sounded harsh, even to her, but they deserved it; they honestly did.

"Gin, we want to help you." Hermione said the words quietly, but Ginny heard every one of them. She looked at them, completely flabbergasted.

"What?" she asked incredulously. "You want to help me? You are unbelievable! You want to help me when I'm not in any danger? You want to help me when I am completely safe and all right? You don't even notice when someone's beating the crap out of me on a regular basis, but you notice when I'm not Miss Sunshine? You all are utterly unbelievable."

"Ginny, it's not like that!" Ron argued. The anger was bubbling up inside Ginny now. It was so much easier to be angry at them, to take out all her pain on the three people that were never really there for her.

"Then what's it like, Ron?" she demanded angrily. "Huh? Tell me, please, because I'm dying to know!" Ron backed away as Ginny's fury hit him dead on. He'd never seen Ginny this way. She'd always been calm and quiet, never vicious or angry.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" he asked her angrily. She wasn't the only one who could get pissed. Ginny stepped up to him only inches from his face.

"You want to know what's wrong with me?" Ginny asked in a deathly quiet voice.

Ron narrowed his eyes at his younger sister. "Yes, yes I do."

"Well, if you have to ask," she said, her sadness overcoming the anger, "then you'll never know."

With those last words, she turned around and left them standing there. They didn't call her back, but merely let her words sink in. Ron dropped dramatically in a nearby armchair and let out a deep, long sigh.

"Will you try to talk to her?" he asked Hermione desperately. If anyone could connect with Ginny, then it would have to be Hermione.

"I don't know if she'll talk." Hermione looked to the stairs sadly.

It hurt her to see Ginny that way. In some ways, she thought of Ginny as her younger sister, though Hermione knew she didn't always give Ginny the time of day. But it was hard! She was constantly dealing with Harry and Ron, trying to keep the peace between the three of them, keep them out of trouble, and manage to do all the homework. It was a tough job.

Hermione sighed, but that'd didn't make it right that she'd ignored Ginny for the past couple of years.

"I'll try," Hermione said after a moment. Of course she'd have to try; she couldn't just give up and leave Ginny abandoned and alone. Hermione trudged up the stairs into the room she knew Ginny and her classmates occupied. She knocked twice but got no answer.

"Ginny?" she asked tentatively. Maybe this was a bad idea…but, no, she couldn't give up on Ginny. Hermione tried the handle, but it was locked.

"Come on, Gin, open up."

No answer. Was she really going to have to break in just to talk to the girl?

"Gin?"

No answer, again. Hermione whipped out her wand and gave her wand a flick, saying the incantation mentally. The door unlocked and Hermione stepped through.

Ginny was lying on her bed, gazing up at the ceiling. She didn't move, didn't even acknowledge that Hermione was there. As Hermione got closer, she could see silent tears falling from the red head's eyes.

Ginny gave one big sigh then spoke. "What do you want, Hermione?"

Hermione looked at Ginny sadly. It was so obvious how hurt the girl was. How come she'd never seen it before?

"I want you to wake up and be genuinely glad to be alive. I want to see you smile and laugh and have a good time. I want to see you talk to people, be social, and have friends."

Hermione watched Ginny the whole time she was speaking. Every word brought more pain to Ginny's face to the point where Hermione didn't think she could stand it.

"Ginny," she began again, "all I want is for you to be happy." Ginny started sobbing a little, and Hermione couldn't stop the tears falling from her own eyes. It was a very emotional moment, let me tell you. Hermione embraced Ginny fiercely, wishing that she could take away all the pain.

"Do you want to talk about it at all?" Hermione asked cautiously. She honestly wanted to help Ginny, but she didn't want to push her too far by being too nosy. Ginny looked at the bushy haired brunette. She could see genuine concern on the girl's features. Would it be so awful to spill on everything that I've been through? Ginny wondered. Would it be that terrible to want to confess to someone how hurt and broken I am?

Ginny knew she had the right to, but she didn't want to go over everything, not now anyway. It was all still too fresh for her to be able to handle. She knew that she'd break down in tears if she thought about the times when she was with Draco.

"You don't have to, you know," Hermione said quietly, but in that moment, Ginny truly wanted to. Screw how awful she'd feel later, she wanted, no needed, to get it all out. Hermione got up slowly and started walking to the door.

"Wait," Ginny whispered. It's not too late to just let her leave. But part of Ginny had already made up its mind. She needed to talk to someone, needed someone to listen with genuine interest…she needed a friend. Hermione turned around, trying to not get her hopes up.

This is it, Ginny thought. She took one big breath and began the whole story. She started from the very beginning and didn't forget one detail. She and Hermione laid on her bed for hours as they talked about everything. There were moments when it hurt Ginny too much to continue, moments where her breath caught in the back of her throat, and her heart would skip a beat. In these moments, Hermione waited patiently for Ginny to find the strength to continue, and Ginny always did.

Hours melted away into the night as they spoke to one another, though, they were sure to be quiet for the sake of the other sleeping roommates, and when Hermione finally left to turn in for the night, Ginny felt an odd sense of cleanliness. She felt light and free. Just by telling Hermione about the pain and agony, she'd felt some of it partially leave her. As the minutes went by, Ginny could feel little specks of hope fill her up.

When Ginny fell asleep, she dreamed of a bright and sunny world, feeling nothing but happiness and joy.

Too bad dreams aren't reality.

Ginny walked into the Great Hall feeling more optimistic about life, but her hope suddenly vanished with just one glance at the Slytherine table. She hadn't even meant to look that way, but a pair of steely gray eyes that were looking in her direction had caught her attention. The moment she looked at him, she wished she hadn't.

It may have been her imagination, but Ginny had thought she had seen Draco looking at her from out of the corner of her eye. But when she looked his way, he was flirting and laughing with some blonde. So, this is how it's going to be? She wondered angrily, finally realizing that Draco meant to go on living life like she didn't exist. Well, fine. I can act that way too.

Ginny lifted her chin up and held her head high as she walked across the Great Hall. No one paid her any bit of attention; no, they didn't mind her one bit, but Ginny wasn't about to let that get her down.

She sat down at the Gryffindor table, a huge smile on her face.

"You seem to be feeling better," Harry said with a huge smile of his own. Ron and Hermione flashed her huge smiles as well, and she was enveloped in their conversation, and for the first time, in a long time, Ginny felt wanted, like they really desired for her to be there. A little voice in the back of her head told Ginny that they were only doing that just to make her feel better.

But what did it matter? If they were being nice to her, talking to her, and including her to make her feel better, then why shouldn't she let them? It was definitely working.

But what if they just dropped her after a couple of days? What if they realized what an annoying tag-along she was being and just left her to die? No, she wouldn't think about that. She'd wait and see, and if it happened, then she'd deal with it then. Ginny was feeling happy–well, not genuinely joyful, but content, at least–as she lived in the moment, and she wouldn't think about the dark times ahead. She'd just live every second with them and maybe even try to make new friends.

Well, seconds turned into days, and days turned into weeks, and before Ginny knew it, she had a life again. It was the weirdest thing in the world! Not only did Harry, Ron, and Hermione not drop her after a few days, but they always wanted to know if she wanted to do something, whether it be to sneak down to the kitchens, go stargazing in the Astronomy Tower, or to have snowball fights in the newly fallen snow. And, it seemed to her, that they actually enjoyed her company, now that she laughed and smiled and talked to people, that is.

Ginny also had made some friends in her own year. Daniella, Dani for short, had latched onto Ginny almost immediately. It was like Dani could tell that Ginny was a completely different person! Ginny realized that she and Dani didn't really have much in common, but they could make each other laugh easy as pie; and that was good enough for the both of them.

Along with Dani came her small group of friends. Dani's group welcomed her in and made her feel as comfortable as ever. The group was made up of people, some who Ginny had know since her first year, who loved to have fun; they always had to be doing something entertaining. There was Michael, Ariel, Donny, Rose, and Derek. Out of all of them, Ginny got along best with Rose. Rose was slightly different from the other five. She was quieter, more thoughtful, and kind of shy. Ginny felt like she could relate to the girl at once.

And a plus, Christian had moved back to wherever he had came from, leaving Ginny alone and free to be happy. The day he walked off of Hogwarts grounds, onto the train and back home had been the best day of Ginny's life.

So, in a few short weeks–a month and a half to be exact–Ginny had a group of friends, two very best friends, and the amazing trio. It was much more than anything Ginny could've ever wanted.

She was happy, inside and out…but there was something, something tugging at the edges of her mind.

Ginny knew it was Draco. No matter how much she tried–and believe me, she tried very hard–she could've seem to forget him. Ginny would go over ever bit of pain, every flash of anger she had felt to try to get over him, but it didn't seem like it was possible. Eventually she just gave up on trying to forget him.

She had figured that Draco was like an itch. He was something that was constantly bugging her, reminding her of the incessant irritation, but she couldn't figure out how to get rid of him. Sometimes she'd think about him so much and dissect every single conversation she'd ever had with him in her head, but he always kept on bugging her. Other times, she'd forget about him entirely, for days even…until someone mentioned him or pointed him out to her in the crowd and then the irritation would be back.

It was maddening.

"Draco, what's wrong with you man?" Blaise's voice rang through the empty room. Draco looked up to see his fellow Slytherin walking through the door.

"Nothing," Draco answered evenly. He had been thinking about a very pressing issue and didn't really want to be interrupted, but it didn't seem that Blaise would be going anywhere.

"Not just now, but lately. You've been so out of it for the past month." Draco sighed. This was one reason that Draco never liked to get close to Blaise. He could sense things so much better than the two rocks–Crabbe and Goyle–that Draco preferred to be around. He hated that Blaise could sense his own distress and misery; weaknesses that he didn't want to be associated with.

"Nothing," Draco said again.

"You may fool everyone else, even the teachers," Blaise began, walking up to Draco, refusing to leave him alone, "but you can't fool me."

"Go away."

"Draco, my man. Come on." Blaise tried again, but no response. He waited a moment more, but Draco said nothing.

"Fine. Have it your way." Blaise grunted, walking out of the room and leaving Draco alone with his thoughts.

"You really want to know what's wrong?" Draco asked, knowing that Blaise was already gone. He opened his mouth again, trying to find the words to explain it to himself, but nothing came to him.

"You want to know what's wrong me?" he repeated the question. The one word response was out before he even thought about it:

"Ginny."

A/N: New chapter, so what do you thing? I'll never know unless you READ and REVIEW!