I Own Nothing
The Screen Flips on with a loud scream of "VOI!" The Scream itself almost breaks your T.V., "You little Brats! Why am I doing this! Just watch what happened to some loser named Skull! Like I give a damn!" The screen gets cut in halve and the files begins.
File 11: What did the Arcobaleno Members do to make Skull so Afraid of them?
The Arcobaleno have only been assembled for a few weeks, the others generally started to like each other, except for the cloud guardian Skull, so he decided to initiate operation: "Get to know the sempais!"
Operation: "Get to know the Sempais!" First Objective: Colonello and Lal mirch
Skull was walking down the halls and saw his targets incoming. He decided to try and act all cool and leaned up against the wall. "Sup sempais, how's it go-"
Lal Mirch interrupted him, "Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact, the wall on which you're leaning against. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know, here it's a conundrum, but don't you worry about it. I'll tackle that one right upstairs," She says pointing to her head, "In the meantime, you could at least pretend to be doing some work. And right about now, even though you don't have your basket, oh it's just a terrific time for you to skip away, Shirley!"
Skull was Speechless, Colonello wasn't.
"OH! She got you Maggot! Here..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and pen, "I'm going to give you a prescription for two testicles, Get it filled out whenever you can, Maggot!"
First Objective: FAILED
Operation: "Get to know the Sempais!" Second Objective: Viper
"Hello Viper-sempai" Skull decided to take the direct approach against the sempai counting money, the sempai seemed slightly annoyed, "How's it going?"
"....Hey Skull, I seem to be missing a some money, Mind go asking Reborn if he might know where it is?"
"Um... Sure! Be right back!"
Operation: "Get to know the Sempais!" Thrid Objective: Reborn
"Um... Reborn-Sempai? Viper-sempai ask-"
"Excuse me Barbara, but would you mind going away... infact, here's an idea: What say you stop showing up altogether? We'll just replace you with a giant time-clock. Oh, and if we ever get to missing you, we'll just have a tiny little Skull cuckoo bird pop out every couple of minutes and say "I've never satisfied a woman. I've never satisfied a woman. I've never satisfied a woman!" Reborn's rant continued for the next 20 minutes until Skull ran away crying.
Thrid Objective: FAILED
Skull went back to Viper to ask him a little something, "Hey Viper-sempai..."
"For the love of god Marsha, I hope for your sake there's another person next to me named Viper."
"I feel stupid, but, sending me to Reborn like that... well, I'm not sure, exactly, what you were trying to teach me."
Viper swiveled around in his chair and looked at Skull, "I was trying to teach you the value of, and this is important! The Vaule... of leaving me alone." Viper Swiveled back around and continued to count money. Skull walked away saddly.
Second Objective: FAILED
Operation: "Get to know the Sempais!" Fourth Objective: Fon
"Fon-Sempai!" He said to the monkey carrying chinese martial artist.
"Excuse me Skull-Kun, but I must ask that you, never stick any part of your self in my life." Though he sound svery harsh, he said all of this with a smile, "Trust me, there is nothing for you to gain from it, because even if you went on a cruise to the furthest parts of the ocean and rescued my salt-soaked body in time to pump the sea water out of my lungs and bring me back from the brink of death, I would still be disappointed that the first face I saw was yours." His Refreshing smile at the end caused Skull to run like hell out of there.
Fourth Objective: FAILED
Operation: "Get to know the Sempais!" Fifth Objective: Luche
Skull choose one of the wrong times to talk to Luche, because she was in the middle of an angry mood tangent. Since some of the things couldn't be recorded for the sake of all of our child's virgin ears, i'll just post the base of it:
"Dear God, Felicia, Do you actually not know that I'm your boss? Don't you realize that when you come to work and fail at trying to kill people, no one will be able to say "It's okay, he's just a loner"? What they're damn sure gonna be wondering is who tried to lead your sorry ass, and when that finger of blame points at me, you had damn sure better hope I'm in a coma from the anger stroke I suffered from the last time you tried to hug me."
Skull ran like hell from this, but that only resulted in another Pregnant lady with a chainsaw incident.
Fifth Objective: FAILED
Operation: "Get to know the Sempais!" Final Objective: Verde
"Hey.... Verde-sempai... What's this?" he said pointing to a geniusly made sculpture of toothpicks.
"Oh! That's my Toothpick sculpture of my majestic self I made in my free time, it took me a while to complete, and you just broke it didn't you?"
Skull non-chalantly pushed the pile of toothpicks under a sheet, "Uh... No..."
"...Hey Skull, I'd like you to help me test out this new weapon I made."
"Uh... Sure... What is it?"
"It's called Rape Corn"
Skulls screams could be heard echoing throughout the Arcobaleno base for the next few years.
Final Objective: FAILED
End of Operation Summary: EPIC FAILURE
Recommended course of action: Hate Everyone Forever