Twenty Questions

Fandom: Pokémon XY (Anime)
Genre: Romance
Summary: A compilation of vignettes showing Ash and Clemont's relationship develop through a series of questions, from friendship to infatuation to something more. Fluff, drama, Diodeshipping, mostly Clemont-centric POV, equal parts Season 17 and post-XY speculation, almost all chapters rated for general audiences except where noted.
Current Rating (subject to change): T
Warnings: Dub names and boys' love

Just taking creative liberties with the aftermath of Episode 29 this time, don't mind me!

Inquiry, Part 4: Why

Clemont was usually pretty good at bouncing back from a failure. Another day, another invention, and all that. It should have been the same this time.

But somehow, it wasn't.

"Clemont, I'm serious! Nothin' that happened today was your fault."

"Oh yeah?" Clemont almost wanted to laugh. Ash had been trying to offer him words of encouragement all afternoon, but the fact was that Clemont still didn't know how to handle praise when it was something he didn't believe about himself to begin with, much less when it came from someone like Ash. Of course today's near-disaster had been his fault— he had been the one to add those finishing touches to the Electricity-Has-No-Effect-On-Me-O-Tron; heck, he'd even named the thing. It was his naïveté and poor judgement that had allowed himself to be tricked by Team Rocket, and it was all thanks to him Ash had come perilously close to losing Pikachu— yet again. The anger and frustration that had been building inside him since that morning had already solidified into into a dense, highly unpleasant lump in his throat, and he was finding it impossible to force it back down again, or otherwise will it to just go away. He squeezed his eyes shut, shoulders hunched and fingers curled around the arms of his jumpsuit, attempting to make himself as small as possible. Seriously, why did Ash even put up with him?

"Please don't, Clemont, it's really… you can't…" Ash stammered. He still wanted to say something. In fact, he wanted to say lots of things. He wanted to tell Clemont it was all right, that he didn't need to be so hard on himself, that he was (had always been) smart and amazing and awesome, in a way that would manage to convince him of it once and for all. But the words to say all that just weren't coming to him at the moment. The dark-haired boy knew that talking had never been one of his strong suits, and short of a magical bolt of lightning striking him right then and there, he was pretty sure that he would never be able to find the words Clemont really needed to hear, even if he tried and tried and tried for a hundred years. But some part of him was still insisting there has to be something he could do for Clemont. Had to be something…

And suddenly, Ash had taken two large strides forward and was wrapping his arms around Clemont's huddled frame, giving him the biggest, most encouraging hug he could manage.

Clemont's eyes flew open, the air leaving his lungs as the other boy closed around him. His face was smooshed against Ash's shoulder and the brim of a hat was digging into the side of his head. What was Ash… he most certainly didn't deserve… what exactly was the protocol here? Should he pull away? Try to hug back? But either of those options would be difficult right now, as he had no desire to be anywhere but here all of a sudden, and Ash had pinned his hands to the sides of his body anyway, so all Clemont could really do was take a few shallow breaths and attempt to reassert control over his emotions. Even in his current state, he was able to register how very comforting it was to be held like this— but if anything, Ash's actions had made Clemont even more aware of the shortcomings he perceived in himself, not less.

It wasn't about the invention. Or being tricked. It had never been about those things, really. It was more about the deep-seated trust and camaraderie that existed between the two of them that Clemont felt he had violated time and time again, the bond he feared was so delicate and fragile, despite all evidence to the contrary. Clemont had betrayed Ash's trust yesterday when he had been so helpful to Team Rocket, even though there had been no lasting damage done. And he was doing it again right now, because no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't seem to place his feelings for Ash strictly in the realm of being "just friends," or rein them in to be more in-line with the values he had always thought he should have: those of a scientist, a gym leader— and a boy. Once, he had wondered what Ash would do when he found out Clemont was the Lumiose City gym leader. Now, he was wondering what Ash would do if Clemont told him he was…

Was...

He tried to swallow past that horrible unmoving lump in his throat as he felt himself blush a deep, guilty crimson, wondering if Ash would notice. Honestly, Clemont was just as confused as he'd ever been over the other boy's innermost thoughts and motivations. Just what did Ash think of him, really…?

But Ash, for his part, was still holding on to him tightly, trying for all the world to squeeze Clemont's problems away, to ring him dry like a sponge. And despite all the things the inventor knew he shouldn't be feeling right now, Ash just being here like this still counted for so incredibly much. It was true— Ash had always believed in him, and despite the tumult of thoughts swirling around inside his head, Clemont just couldn't bear to let Ash down in that regard, too. He was just going to have to keep working on being at ease inside his own head. And besides, if he got to keep traveling around with Ash, well... when put in that light, Clemont wasn't sure he had much reason to be angry or sad, or wish anything was different about himself at all.

Right?

And sure enough, going forward, whenever Ash was there for him with that huge smile and one of those hugs that seemed way too good to be true, Clemont couldn't help but smile for all he was worth, too.