I feel rather enlightened to the fact that In-and-out Burger is only a west coast/southwestern thing. (Whoops!) I was recently in AZ, so I must have just had it on my mind. I'm actually a Midwest girl though. I guess I just assumed the town I'm from was too small to have one. I'm from the good 'ol mitten state, and my town is know for gang violence not so much for hamburgers. Here we have a Rally's and a Steak and Shake though. Not that you care. lol
Three weeks later Kelly took Erin out to dinner to celebrate her finally being cleared to return to work. They went to a little diner down the street from Voight's house. She'd been there a million times before and felt comfortable. It was no pressure and she actually enjoyed herself with her boyfriend for the first time since the kidnapping.
He reached over and grabbed her hand as they walked up the sidewalk to Voight's front door. She didn't even squirm this time. She was making progress. It had been just over a month since she'd been home and she officially felt like she was making progress.
Upon arriving back to Voight's they went upstairs because Kelly had offered to assist Erin in packing her things. She was finally going back to her own apartment the next day after work. She didn't have much stuff to pack up, but having an extra set of hands made it go even faster.
The last few weeks had been a bit strange with Kelly. She still called him her boyfriend, and on occasion she'd let him hold her hand or something, but that was it. They were essentially just friends hanging out. It was working for Erin. She really didn't want anything more, although deep down she knew it wasn't fair to him. It wasn't fair of her to lead him on this way. To still call him her boyfriend, only to purposely lay her head on the pillow Jay had used the night he stayed over, just so she could inhale deeply and fill her airways with the sent that is distinctly Jay Halstead. She missed him. She'd never, not in a million years, admit to it but she did miss him beyond belief.
Her two bags were backed and Kelly carried them down the stairs out to her car. Erin stayed in her room finishing tidying up when Kelly reappeared upstairs.
"Hey I have shift in the morning wanna walk me out so you can lock up once I leave?" Voight wasn't currently home and Severide knew Erin felt safer when she knew all the doors were locked.
"Yeah lets go."
They were joking around about how Erin did pretty much none of her own packing, and she was actually having fun. The mood was light. Kelly walked in front of her and when he reached the bottom of the stairs Erin wasn't sure what came over her, but she jumped onto his back playfully.
"Hey!" Kelly laughed heading over to the couch and dropping her onto it. "You should really warn a guy before you go jumping onto his back. I could have dropped you."
"Are you calling me fat Kelly Severide?" Erin joked.
Kelly squirmed standing beside the couch looking over her. "No not at all!"
Erin laughed. "Relax I'm just kidding!" She swiped at his shoulder playfully.
Erin was lying on the couch on her back, and Kelly had taken a seat beside her resting her legs across his lap. When she swiped at him Kelly caught her hand. A few seconds later he brought that exact hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. She didn't squirm either. It surprisingly didn't scare her or make her uncomfortable.
She smiled up at him just now realizing he had leaned in closer to her. She locked eyes with him and the second she did she regretted it. She had just inadvertently given him permission to kiss her and that is exactly what he did.
He had barely planted his lips to hers when her hands shoved at his chest. Erin jumped up immediately. "What the hell, Kelly!" She yelled. Baking away from him swiftly.
Voight's living room and kitchen were connected. She moved so the kitchen island was between them.
"I'm.. I..I'm sorry." Kelly stuttered. "I thought you." He didn't finish his statement though because he was too stunned to think.
Her eyes were huge and glazy. She hugged her arms over her chest holding herself. Concealing herself. She didn't want to cry. She hadn't cried in a few weeks now. Just minutes ago she thought she was making progress.
"Erin, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just... I thought you wanted me to kiss you." He spoke softly.
"No." She cried shaking her head back and forth. Then the first alligator tear fell. After that she couldn't stop the free tears from streaming down her cheeks. Suddenly she couldn't breathe. Her chest tightened and she could not suck in air regardless of how hard she tried. Kelly panicked watching her gasp for air. He ran over towards her.
Erin gripped the counter top staring down at the marble. Tears blurred her vision.
"Erin, breathe. You have to breathe. Inhale. Exhale." He attempted to coach her through her panic attack placing a hand on her back.
"I can't!" She violently shook her shoulder shooing his hand away. He got the message and took a step back.
"How can I help you Erin? What do you need?"
She hiccupped sobs hyperventilating. She didn't know what she needed. Well that wasn't true. She knew, she just didn't want to admit it. Finally she gave in. "I need Jay! Call Jay!" She cried out.
Kelly ran over and grabbed her cell phone off the couch since he didn't have Halstead's number himself. Thankfully she didn't have a passcode lock on her phone. He quickly found his name in her contacts and called.
"Erin?" Jay sounded surprised.
"Halstead! This is Severide. We're at Voight's house. Come quick something is wrong and she's asking for you. She's having a panic attack I think. Hurry please."
"Tell her I'm coming!" Jay yelled in Kelly's ear rushing out of Molly's to his car not even bothering to explain to the rest of the unit where he was going.
He was glad he had decided to join the guys at Molly's. Had he gone home for the night after work he would have been across town from Erin. On a good day without any traffic it took at least twenty-five minutes to get from his apartment to Voight's. Molly's was located right in the middle of the two though. By breaking all of the traffic violations he made it to Voight's house in ten minutes.
He rushed through the front door. Erin and Kelly were still in the Kitchen. Kelly was keeping his distance from her. Whenever he got close to her she got more upset so he just stood back.
She was still crying but her breathing was a bit better. Jay ran over to her and without hesitation she turned and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. She buried her head into his neck and he could feel her wet saltwater tears.
"Shhh. You're okay. I got you, Erin." He held her tightly.
Kelly watched on sadly. He had known that his relationship with Erin had been deteriorating ever since she was found. He just wasn't ready to admit it to himself. Not until tonight anyways. His kiss had triggered a full on panic attack. It that wasn't enough to make him realize it was over, the fact that Jay Halstead was the person she requested to soothe her was.
"Hey, I got you. I'm not going anywhere. You are safe, Erin." Jay muttered against her hair.
Kelly smiled sadly and met Jay's gaze. "I'm just gonna go." He said solemnly. "Take care of her," and Jay knew he didn't just mean in that moment. He meant for good. Kelly was walking away. He knew the relationship was over.