A few weeks later, Natasha and Loki were playing Scrabble. She didn't trust him to conjure his own dictionary, since she was certain that he would rig it to contain words he played, so she went in search of the one she'd randomly seen in the house while he laid the game out.

Natasha went searching through his desk drawers, and came across a calendar. It caught her eye because she saw red pen mark over it, along with green. Her curiosity was piqued. She picked up the calendar and began flipping through the months. The marks were made from six and seven months ago, but stopped about 4 months ago…right after Loki found out that she was pregnant.

The red pen marker covered weeks in which she was menstruating, while the green…appeared to indicate ovulation days.

Why would he have something like this? Why would he keep track of this?

No…no. He didn't do this on purpose…did he?

She began remembering how eager he was to prevent her from having an abortion and how in love with the idea of having a baby he was…and suddenly it made sense.

A surge of warmth took over her body as she marched into the living room and flung the calendar at him, "Tell me this isn't what I think it is, Loki!"

"It looks like a calendar," Loki remarked dryly as he secretly berated himself for not throwing it away months ago. He had completely forgotten that he even had it. "Please try and be calm, little spider," the young god entreated as he stood from the floor. "I'm not sure what your imagining but you must think of yourself and the baby." He took a slight breath before he continued. "I told you that I didn't want children. I was simply trying to take extra precautions to ensure that we didn't." he lied. He placed his hand on her forehead as he could see a bead of sweat beginning to form. "I think you should sit." He began to bring on the icy feel of his fingertips as the skin of his hand turned blue. The words of Banner echoing in his mind. "It means with this pregnancy stress could literally kill you."

Natasha swatted his hand and pushed him away, "You're LYING! I know you, Loki! I know you! Tell me the fucking truth! Now!"

"I was trying to track your fertile time to stay clear of it and that is the truth," Loki insisted. He was not bestowed with the names of 'God of Mischief and Lies' and 'Silver-tongued Prince' without sufficiently earning the titles. Telling her the truth would only make her even angrier. His fear for her health getting worse by the second as he watched the beads of sweat falling from her reddened face.

"Do you not remember that right before you returned to me that you had thought you might be pregnant? We were finally truly together and I didn't want to risk anything messing it up." The young god took hold of her face in his hands as his dark green eyes bore into her own. The cold from his fingers seeping into her skin as he gazed down at her. "Please, little spider, let me help you and try to calm down. If anything happened to you I couldn't bear it."

Natasha wanted to believe the sincerity in his voice, but something felt off…something felt wrong. She let out a breath as she stared at him, "If you were trying so hard not to get me pregnant, why did you insist on us having unprotected sex those few times? You didn't even try to pull out!"

She closed her eyes and shook her head, "You're lying to me…I can feel it…just tell me the truth! I knew something was wrong! What else did you do? Huh? How did you do it? We were so careful after those first few times. How did condoms YOU conjured get me preg—-" Natasha's voice suddenly cut off as she blinked rapidly, realization dawning on her features. He must have sabotaged the condoms he conjured.

"…you son of a bitch…" she glared as she backed away from him.

The young god exhaled slowly as she pulled her face away from his hands. It was obvious that there was no way he was going to get her to believe that he hadn't done it on purpose. "Alright, little spider, here is the way it is going to be," Loki commanded as he watched her move away from him. If looks could kill he would have been dead twice over and he could see that her blood pressure was skyrocketing. All he could think of was Banner's warning that stress could kill her. "You have two choices. You are either going to sit down and let me cool your temperature before you bring on a seizure or I am going to immobilize you with magic so I can cool you down before you have seizure. Which do you choose?"

"Don't you fucking dare. You LIED to me! You tricked me! You manipulated me! For what?! You…you just wanted another way to control me, didn't you? You wanted something that would keep me tethered to you because you're still terrified that I'm going to go running back to Barton! My word wasn't good enough! My LOVE isn't good enough. You need to resort to scheming and trickery. You have to do this!" she screamed, motioning toward her swollen stomach.

Natasha suddenly doubled over in pain, grabbing a hold of her belly and crying out. When he moved near her, she attempted to push away, "Don't touch me!"

"Then magically it is," Loki snipped as he cast a spell over her so that she couldn't move. He placed his hand on her stomach and another on her forehead as he let his Jotunn form take over completely. Her skin was so hot but he could feel the change begin from almost the first contact of his frosty touch. She cursed at him in Russian to get his hands off of her but the coldness from his palm seemed to sooth her pain as well as lower her blood pressure because suddenly she stopped yelling at him and simply glared at him instead.

The moment that her temperature had gone back to normal, Loki picked her up and carried her to the medical room. He ordered the first soldier that he past to bring Banner to them immediately. Loki laid her down on the examining table but kept his hand on her stomach as his dark crimson eyes observed her.

"I wanted a part of you that no one else had," Loki entreated. "But you're wrong it's not your love or your word that wasn't good enough for me. It's me, little spider. It's so hard for me to think that I'm good enough… that I'm anything more than this thing that's standing in front of you right now. My head is filled with all this noise… pain, insecurities.. I try to lock them away and then something just sets me off and I… I get angry and jealous and I do stupid things. It's all me, it's not you. I know you love me. I just don't know why."

Natasha stayed still, staring straight ahead and refusing to meet his eyes as tears silently streamed down her face. She didn't know what to think or feel other than betrayal and intense hurt.

She shook her head and blinked some of the tears away, "You knew I didn't want this. You knew how much that loss scarred me. You knew how terrified I am of ever feeling that pain again…but none of that mattered to you. It was all about you. Your insecurities. Your wants. Your needs…where does what I want fit into all of this? Where does what I want or need fit into any of your plans?"

Natasha covered her face and sniffled, "…you tell me you want me to be happy, it's only happiness on your terms. All on the condition that my happiness falls in line with your plans. I mean, do you really even love me?" A slight pain seized her stomach as she put a hand there, "…see? This is why having a baby is a mistake. This is what I was afraid of…you hurting me. You lying to me…"

Bruce arrived, putting on his glasses, "Are you in pain?"

He quickly attached a fetal monitor to her stomach as he took her temperature, "Alright, 100…and lowering, but…" Banner glanced at the monitor, "…you're having some weak contractions."

Natasha shook her head in the negative.

"She was in a lot of pain earlier and she had a sharp stab a minute ago." Loki added. "But I think the cold of my skin helps stop it somehow."

"Interesting…" Banner pondered before turning his attention back to the Black Widow. "I'm going to give you an IV with magnesium sulfate it should help stop the contractions." The doctor moved about the room and got the supplies that he needed. Loki watched as he inserted the needle into her arm and prepared the IV while Natasha just stared up at the ceiling. "It's a waiting game at the moment. If this medicine works than we should start to see results in about five or ten minutes." He moved back toward the counter and began writing vigorously in a notebook.

"I do love you, Natalia," Loki whispered at her side. "You know what I am. You knew it the first time I visited your cell. Selfish, manipulative, ill-tempered, calculating. I know you know me as I know you. We share many of the same traits, do we not? It is why we are such a perfect fit. I don't want to hurt you. I only ever wanted to make you happy. You know that I love you. I know that you do."

Natasha said nothing. She simply lay there, staring at the ceiling numbly. The contractions eventually did stop, and, after a pelvic examination, Bruce told them that there had been no change in her cervix. She was placed on bed rest for the next few weeks, and sent back to the penthouse.

There, she lay in bed staring out the window. She got out of bed to bathe, but ate very little and remained completely silent for nearly three days straight. She knew they shared some of the same traits, but this was a deliberate violation of her trust…and her body.

Natasha was having a hard time getting over that. She began to question whether Loki honestly knew what love was. She was so hurt. So betrayed…and still so frightened. Just when she was warming up to the idea of motherhood, this has sapped all of the cautious enthusiasm she'd gained. Now, she was struggling with a feeling of resentment toward the innocent life inside of her. She knew it didn't make sense…but her anger at Loki and his actions upset her. He'd done this on purpose…knowing her history and her thoughts on the matter.

Loki had left her alone for three days, assigning a live in nurse to stay in their guest room and tend to whatever she needed since Banner had placed her on bed rest. He assumed the sight of him would only make her angry but he missed her terribly. He felt an ache in chest, like a piece of him was missing he hated it. He knew from the nurse that she had not been eating well or talking very much. After the third day he decided to make an attempt to see her.

The young god walked into their bedroom cautiously. She was lying under the covers reading one of his favorite books. She made no acknowledgement of his presence though he knew that she had seen him walk in. Her dark blue eyes had gazed at him for a moment before darting back to the volume in her lap. He moved closer to her and laid a small packet of twizzlers on top of the page she was reading.

"Is there any forgiveness in your heart for me?" Loki entreated. "Little spider, please give me a chance to make it up to you."

Natasha stared down at the candy in her lap for several moments before tears slowly began forming in her eyes. She looked up at him as one of them streaked down her face, "I don't know how you can…I thought you'd turned my world upside down when you stripped me down and put me in that cell…"

She lowered her head again and sniffled before wiping at her eyes, "Do you know how much this affects me? I didn't want to be a mother. You forced this on me…"

Natasha wiped her eyes again as she sucked in a shaky breath, "I love you…but you…you hurt me. And I don't know how you could make this up to me. I had JUST begun to warm up to the idea…now…" Natasha paused and looked down, "now, I find myself wishing I could rewind back to that day at the clinic…wishing that you'd had made it there a couple of hours later than you did."

"I'm sorry, little spider, I am truly sorry that I hurt you," Loki pleaded. He moved his hand toward her hair out of habit but stopped himself as he brought his arm back to his side. "In my mind I never thought that my actions would cause you pain. I see I was wrong. I know how affected you were by the loss of your daughter but I also saw you playing peek a boo with that little baby. And I don't know… I thought that when you held your own healthy child in your arms that you would be happy."

He brushed his hand through his long, black hair nervously. He had no control over the situation and he didn't like it. His heart was in her hands and he had a horrible feeling that she would never forgive him. And then what would he do?

"When we first started I know you had ulterior motives when you told me you wanted to be with me but we started again. You came to me for me and I believed you." Loki took a tentative seat along the edge of the mattress as his dark green eyes gazed at her hopefully. "Please, little spider, can we start again? Isn't there some way that I can prove to you that you can believe me?"

Natasha looked down at her hands before meeting his gaze, "Yes…you can…you can set the Avengers free."

She pursed her lips together as she watched his face begin to lower in protest. Natasha put her hand on top of his, "I know how powerful you are. There has to be a way that you can make them forget that you are the enemy. They won't be a threat then. These are good people who were doing what they thought was right for their world. They don't deserve to be locked away."

Loki stared at her hand as it rested on top of his. The way she glared at him a few days ago he had thought she might never want to touch him again except perhaps to hit him. If she hadn't have been in so much physical pain he was certain she would have. He shouldn't be surprised by her request. He supposed that he wasn't but her suggestion to use magic on them caught him off guard.

"You would want me to cast a spell on them?" Loki puzzled. His emerald eyes still firmly placed on their joined hands. "It would be agreeable to you if I altered their memories concerning me?"

Natasha nodded, "They deserve to be free. Just make sure they at least remember who they are. You can even make Clint forget me. Just make sure Pepper and Tony are together and that they're free…"

"I could cast such a spell with the orb in my scepter," Loki advised as he lifted his emerald gaze to meet hers. "I could have them all free in a few hours' time." He wasn't exactly fond of the idea but with an enchantment in place they would not be a threat to him. Or at least they shouldn't be. It seemed a small price to pay if she would forgive him. "Alright, little spider, I will do it."

Natasha's eyes were wide with hope as she squeezed his hand, "Thank you. I…if we're really going to start fresh, that's a good place to start."

Loki did not return to his chambers until half-past midnight that evening. It had been a much more difficult enchantment to cast then he had originally assumed and it had drained him considerably. But it was done. The clear cells that had contained the Avengers were all empty.

The young god gazed at the doorway to their bedroom as he took a few steps towards it before he stopped himself. It was far too late to disturb her. He sauntered toward the sofa, pulling off his shoes before he collapsed on his back on the soft cushions. His dark green eyes gazing up at the ceiling. He was exhausted and he hated the weak feeling that always came over him when he strained the use of his powers as he did tonight. Still as tired as he was he knew he wasn't going to get a second of sleep.

He could already hear the racing of thoughts inside of his head. The doubts, the worries, the taunting voice that told him that because of his actions tonight he would be finding himself back inside one of those cells soon enough. Loki tried hard to think of something else, to force his mind to be quiet. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he tried to concentrate on a happy memory. He pictured Natasha in this very room when she danced for him. When he had foolishly blurted out that he loved her and to his amazement she had responded in kind. Loki smiled at the thought as his breathing began to settle.

The next morning, after a bath, Natasha slowly ventured out of the bedroom to sit on the couch. Being on bed rest, she couldn't stay on her feet for more than a few moments at a time. When she arrived at the couch, she found Loki laying there….actually sleeping.

She sat beside him and softly stroked his cheek before leaning over and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Loki felt the soft touch of her lips in his sleep, his smile deepening as he slowly drifted awake. His dark green eyes blinked up at the sight of her sitting next to him. Still half asleep, he was certain that she was nothing more than a lovely dream. "So pretty," he mused. "My little spider, I miss you."

Natasha smiled at him for the first time in, for what felt like, ages. She kissed his lips softly and brushed her nose against his, "I'm right here…"

Loki's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he awakened more fully when he felt her lips so sweetly caress his. "Natalia?" the young god whispered as he cautiously brushed his mouth along hers, his fingers twisting lightly around a lush, red curl. Relishing the feel of her lips as he let the sweet sensation wash over him.

Natasha kissed him deeply, but knew that she couldn't take it any further than that until she was taken off bed rest. She smiled and pressed her forehead against his, "Fresh start…"

Since Bruce was freed along with the rest of the team, Loki had to bring a doctor in to treat her for the remainder of her pregnancy. She was informed of the "high risk" nature of her condition, but wasn't filled in on the fact that her baby was half frost giant.

The doctor allowed Natasha off of bed rest and cleared her for most activities since non-stress tests revealed that the baby and her uterus were in good condition and no contractions were being experienced.

Things between she and Loki were quiet…but she gave him a heartfelt thank you for freeing her friends and vowed to work on forgiving him.

Their relationship seemed slow to return to what it used to be…until one night, Natasha was sitting on her yoga mat, stretching. Her spandex workout top fit tight across her burgeoning belly.

She was sitting there with her eyes closed, practicing her breathing and a pose when she suddenly felt a small thump from within her.

Thinking that it might have been gas…or something, she waited. Soon, she felt another small thump and gasped, placing a hand on her stomach. The baby was moving…the baby she'd practically been ignoring for the past few weeks. Finally, at 23 weeks, she was feeling her baby boy move…almost as if he was trying to get her attention and affection.

All at once, Natasha felt guilt overtake her. This baby wasn't to blame for what Loki had done. She rubbed a hand down her stomach as a few tears escaped her eyes, "Hey, kiddo…I'm sorry I've been so quiet lately…"

Loki reached for the doorknob of their penthouse but his fingers halted as they hovered just a hairsbreadth from touching it. He pulled his hand back as he stared at the door. When he had woken up to find her sitting next to him, he had been incredibly happy and hopeful. But he quickly realized that though she was very grateful for the release of the Avengers, she had not forgiven him. And he was beginning to think that she never would. His heart sank at the thought.

But he couldn't deny the facts. She hardly talked to him except for polite conversation or to thank him once again for letting her friends go. She was off of bed rest so he had dismissed the nurse who had been helping to care for her. Which left the guest room available for him to sleep. It was more comfortable than the couch but far from where he wanted to be.

It hurt to have her so close and yet feel the expansive distance that was between them. He had no one to blame for it but himself and he had no idea how to fix it. He had started to stay in the office late just to minimize the time that he would spend in the quiet of their apartment. The silence when they were in the room together felt deafening and every detached smile that she gave him was like a neon sign telling him that he ruined everything for good.

He exhaled slowly as he finally opened the door. Loki could see her sitting along her yoga mat in the empty space of the living room. Her back was to him and he decided against disturbing her as he walked towards the other room.

Natasha turned around, hearing the door open. She wiped her eyes, "Loki…hey."

She timidly held a hand out to him, "Come here…please."

She watched him hesitate before slowly walking over and taking her hand. She gave his arm a gentle tug and made him sit next to her as she placed his hand on her stomach.

"He's moving…" she said quietly.

Loki felt a flutter underneath his palm as he stared down at her belly in amazement. "That was him?" the young god gaped in almost disbelief before he felt it again. "He did it again! He's strong." His dark green eyes gazed up at hers before they fell away. He lifted his hand from her stomach and began to stand up. He doubted that she wanted him touching her for that long. "That's truly incredible, little spider. Thank you for sharing it with me." He gave her a soft smile as he took a step towards the kitchen.

The smile that had begun to tickle at the edges of her lips slowly faded as he got up and walked away. She gingerly got to her feet and followed him, "Loki…"

She paused in an effort to gather her thoughts, then fidgeted with her hands a bit, unable to figure out the right thing to say. Finally, she looked up at him with wet eyes and a sad smile, "I…love you…and I miss you…and I'd give absolutely anything for you to touch me the way you used to…"

Loki moved toward her swiftly and enclosed her face in his hands. "I want nothing more than that," Loki breathed against her lips before kissing her softly. "I miss you so much, little spider, I love you so much." His voice was husky and filled with emotion as he deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around her as he pulled her closer.

Natasha kissed him back hungrily, wrapping her arms around his neck as she eagerly pressed against him. She'd desperately missed his touch…and she needed him more than she needed anything else. It may not have been healthy or right…but this love was theirs.

She barely registered her feet leaving the ground before he picked her up in his arms and carried her to their bed, where he proceeded to undress her. She smiled up at him and blushed before covering her middle. It had been a long time since they had sex…and she was far larger now than the last time he saw her naked.

Loki quirked an eyebrow as he watched her place her arms around her middle. He reached out and took both of her hands as he lifted them to his lips before setting her arms down on either side of the mattress. "You're beautiful, little spider, so incredibly sexy," He whispered with a sideways smile as he glided his hand along her belly before replacing it with his lips. It had been so long since he tasted her skin and he was determined to devour every inch of her body. "How I've ached for you, Natalia, in my heart, my body… every little bit of me has been aching for you."

"I've missed feeling you…touching you…kissing you. I love you so much…" she whimpered as he began trailing kisses up and down her body.

When they were sated and lying beside each other, panting, Natasha curled against him, pressing soft, kisses across his chest, "I never meant to punish you…I'm just…confused…but I love you too damn much…"

Loki wrapped his arms around her tighter, placing a soft kiss along her forehead as he breathed her in. She was really here. His body shivered at the feel of her lips brushing against his chest and he grinned widely as he peered down at her. "You had every right to never forgive me. I thought you didn't want me anymore and I couldn't blame you. But I'm glad I was wrong. I love you, Natalia and I love our son. I love you both so much."

"My love for you isn't conditional. It's there no matter what…and will always be" she said, leaning up to kiss him.

Finally, they were back on track. Natasha was slowly, but surely, growing more and more attached to their baby boy as he continued to move and squirm inside of her. By the time she was about 28 weeks pregnant, Loki came home to find her laying on their bed with a set of headphones on her ears, and a set on her stomach.

Loki grinned as he sat down at her side and pulled the headphones from her ears. "Let me see what kind of music you're subjecting our son to this evening," He jested as he placed it on his ears. "My poor boy," he teased with a furrowed brow and a sexy pout on his lips as he tossed the headphones back on the mattress before he leaned forward and began talking to her belly. "How long has she been forcing you to listen to this?" His dark green eyes winking up at her playfully.

Natasha laughed and reached down to idly play with his hair, "The music is supposed to be soothing…he's been beating the crap out of me recently and the doctor suggested this…she also says he's a little on the large side…easily nine pounds by the time I'm full term, apparently."

She chewed on her lip nervously before diverting her gaze, "I'm afraid…not just, about the birth or whatever but, I…" Natasha paused and looked away again before lowering her voice, "It's taken me so long to even begin to have a bond with this baby…and I…I guess, I'm just afraid I'm not gonna be a good mother…"

"I understand that sentiment all too well, little spider," Loki mused as he ran his fingers gently along her stomach. "I was not given the best of examples on how to be a father." He technically had two and neither one of them would he ever want to emulate. He hated the thought that his son could one day grow up and feel the same way about him. "But I love him already and I know that I would do anything for him and I hope that will be enough." He raised his dark green eyes to gaze up into hers. "I think you are already a wonderful mother. I can see the love you feel for him, the way you care for him. Our son is a very lucky little boy."

The Black Widow softly shook her head, "When you were busy staring at my stomach in awe, I was busy resenting it, still thinking that I made the wrong decision to keep him…does that sound like a wonderful mother to you?"

Natasha cringed slightly as her belly shifted, indicating that the child within had moved his whole body rather suddenly.

She vigorously rubbed the side of her belly, "God. It's like he's testing to see how far I stretch before he's able to bust out of there."

"That was my fault, little spider" Loki revealed honestly as he felt his son kick against his palm. "But even in the midst of all those feelings, whether it be resentment or just utter confusion for what you wanted, you took care of our child. You took your medicine, stayed still in a bed which I know you didn't like, you did whatever you needed to so that he would be safe and healthy despite how you felt. I think that makes you an amazing mother, Natalia." He leaned closer and kissed her lips softly.

Natasha kissed his lips and stared into his eyes, "…you know what I'm in the mood for right now?"

She smiled at the questioning look in his eyes as she pulled his mouth back to hers for another slow, sensuous kiss. Natasha nuzzled her nose against his for a brief second before whispering seductively against his lips, "Ice cream…with chocolate, caramel swirls and sea salt."

She giggled softly and leaned back against the headboard, sitting up like an eager child as she awaited her treat.

"Blame your son."

Loki smiled as he brought forth her frozen dessert with a wave of his hand. She took it and began devouring it greedily. She was smiling between spoonfuls and making exaggerated sounds of how good it was between giggles. She was positively glowing. She seemed to grow more beautiful every day.

"Have you thought of a name, yet, little spider?" He pondered as he caressed her belly tenderly. "Perhaps 'Caramel Swirl', Eh heh heh heh, since he likes it so much. It is more colorful then 'boy'." He winked playfully.

Natasha finished off her ice cream and set it aside, "While caramel swirl sounds…delicious, I think we should give him a regal name. He is a prince, after all, right? Maybe…Thomas?"

The baby favored her stomach with a hard kick. She laughed and pulled up her shirt, "He likes it."

"Thomas… Thomas," he repeated as he said the name slowly while he moved his fingers in slow circles along her belly. "Thomas Lokison… yes… I think I like it very much." He leaned forward and pressed his lips against her stomach as he gazed up at her dark blue eyes. "I think it's perfect, little spider."