A/N: Whew, sorry for the long wait, guys. I had a lot of shit going on at once. The worst thing was being sick through midterms and then having a head and chest cold linger for another week or so after those tests. Plus, I've been looking for another job for the past few weeks and finally got one! I'll be working in Waldenbooks for the holiday season! I'm kind of sad, though, because they don't have a coffee shop in the store. If only they had a café, so that I could glance longingly in that direction, hoping barista!Alex would serve me delicious dinosaur-topped coffee… Ah, but such is life. Unfair and whatnot. But you know, the wait was worth it, because there's Hanna/un!Zombie porn in this chapter.
Yeah, go on and get it, kiddos.
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Hanna was the luckiest person on earth.
Or at least, that was how he felt on the drive home from Independence, curled up in the warm front seat of Alex's Subaru. They ate chicken Lo Mein and Egg Foo Young when they stopped at a Chinese restaurant in Salem like it was tradition. Hanna found it to be comfortable and enjoyable, tucked into an Asian-style booth that sported garlands and tacky lights. It was the first time that Hanna felt like life wasn't so bad on Christmas Eve. Even though he had no family, Hanna had someone, who taught him how to properly hold chopsticks ("Well, this is how we hold them in Japan," he amended, and then explained that there actually was a difference between Chinese and Japanese chopsticks, which wasn't as boring of a topic as one might expect, because Alex did imitations of his sensei that sent Hanna into stitches of laughter for a good ten minutes) and who willingly split his portion of Egg Foo Young with him in exchange for Hanna's water chestnuts and a kiss below the wilting mistletoe hanging above the cash register.
Afterwards, the entire trip northward was smooth and not as long as Hanna thought it would be, because the soft sounds of Stadium Arcadium serenading through the speakers seemed to blur the ride into a series of pleasant twists and turns. Beyond the window, Hanna watched as the forest thinned and then receded, turning to stretches of long highway and yellow overhead lights. The Red Hot Chili Peppers turned over onto some mix tape with older hits from bands like Queen and Duran Duran. Hanna idly moved his fingers over the stiff, cold material of his damp jeans. Below the knee, he was still half-wet from standing in the snow for over an hour, but The Reflex was a good song to not care about it for too long.
In fact, there was something about it—and maybe everything—that made Hanna kind of want to make out.
"Alex," Hanna said.
"Hm?" was Alex's response, eyes on the road, both hands on the wheel. He was careful like that; like he was on some sort of mission to ensure that absolutely no harm came to Hanna, which could range anywhere from fiery five car pile up to the potholes that littered the roads in town. It was adorable and nice and due to that, Hanna did not want to distract him by expressing his sudden craving for the both of them in the backseat, all over each other, for several hours…No, that sort of distraction would not be a good idea.
Besides, Toni would be pissed if they didn't show up for her party.
"Never mind," Hanna mumbled, and turned to look out the window.
"What's up?" he asked. When Hanna peeked out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Alex had dared to take his attention from the road for a few seconds to glance at him. Maybe that was what made Hanna answer almost immediately and with open honesty:
"I don't want to go to this party."
"Why not?" Alex asked, though it wasn't accusing at all. Merely curious, with an underlying tone that indicated perhaps he already knew the answer. Hanna wished he did and would share, because it would be better than trying to search inside the road wreck of himself to find that reason.
"I...dunno..." Hanna said, looking down at his knees. "I just don't...I guess..."
"Well, we don't have to go," Alex replied, and when Hanna looked at him, he noticed the expression his boyfriend made at the words. "Um, Toni won't be very happy with us, but..."
"Yeah, I know," Hanna answered, and then pushed back his glasses to rub tiredly at his eyes. "So we'll go."
"I do have to stop for gas or else we're not going to make it to town," Alex said, and Hanna knew he was smiling when he added: "Stalling for time, but only a little." Hanna laughed quietly, returning his glasses to the bridge of his nose. The Reflex had been replaced with a quiet Aerosmith ballad, which only intensified Hanna's urge to forget the party and everyone else. He just wanted it to be him and Alex. Alone. With no clothes on. Touching. Touching like it was going out of style. He felt something in his stomach twist and then flutter nervously, heart hammering with nerves as he wondered if tonight would be the night. Toni would understand if they didn't show up and hell, maybe she would even forgive him if he told her he'd lost his V-Card. "As long as you were doing something productive," she would probably say, or something equally Toni-like and embarrassing. And then she would want all the details. Every last one of them. And it made Hanna wonder how he would talk about it. He and Alex had tried so many times and fallen short of the goal due to Hanna's unwarranted—by his standards, but by Alex's, quite understandable—fears. So, Hanna already knew roughly how it would start: that sweep-him-off-his-feet-and-then-throw-him-head-first-from-a-rocketship-leaving-the-atmosphere kiss which would be followed by the hot-tongue-that-would-effectively-reduce-him-into-a-pile-of-quivering-and-well-pleased-goo and then lead to Hanna's favorite part. It was, as he liked to call it, the: oh-yes-he-did-put-his-mouth-there-and-so-all-brain-function-has-now-completely-ceased technique. But beyond that? What was it like? To have someone inside of you?
Hanna's skin felt warm as imaginary fingers caressed his flesh, a hollow ache forming in the pit of his stomach with a burning, seemingly insatiable want.
"Hanna, are you okay?" Alex asked. They were beneath the bright lights of the Marathon station about twenty minutes from town. Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy played quietly from the speakers. Hanna realized that first, and then noted that his cheeks were burning. He didn't doubt that he was probably very red in the florescent surroundings.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Hanna said and smiled a bit to ease the awkwardness.
"You sure?" he asked. He was worried, Hanna could tell, because that little line was between his brows, clearly articulating his concern. That crease had persisted since the cemetery, where Alex seemed unsure if his gesture had been too forward because of the way Hanna had cried so childishly. But no words could express how happy Hanna felt. How thankful. And those emotions made him want Alex more than ever before.
"Yeah," Hanna replied, the warmth rising when Alex touched his cheek with the backs of his fingers. They were cool and soothing against his hot skin. Hanna leaned into them, eyes falling shut as Queen's lyrics were drowned out by the rapid beating of his heart, like a methed-up teenager on drums in his ears.
"You're all red," Alex said, not convinced. His fingers turned, moving with a gentle caress along Hanna's forehead. "You feel kind of feverish."
"Your hands are cold," Hanna answered, forcing his eyes open. "I'm not sick, I promise."
"Do you want some coffee?" Alex asked, and his gaze flickered towards the convenience store to indicate his offer. "Or anything?"
"I'll get something," Hanna said, taking hold of Alex's wrist to move away from his intoxicating touch. It wouldn't serve to just lose all composure in the middle of a public area. Besides, there were kids in the car at the pump in front them, making faces at them and other patrons from the back seat. So Hanna was good and only placed a small kiss against Alex's open palm. He returned that gesture with a smile that just made Hanna want to jump his bones right there. Kids or no kids. Bright lights or no. "What do you want?" Hanna asked, question emerging as a low, breathy inquiry. Maybe it was what all those romance novels had called "husky with lust" or some other such clichéd garbage, but Hanna wasn't sure. All he knew was that he wanted Alex to the point where it was almost painful and that if he didn't express it, all that balled up tension would drive him insane.
"Something hot," Alex replied. The images that came to mind in response to his reply were more than scandalous. They made Hanna rather daring; outright horny and willing to show it by slipping Alex's pointer finger into his mouth. Hanna kept his eyes locked with Alex's, watching them darken as he sucked, using his tongue in the same manner he would while giving head. He kept this up for a few moments, making sure to tease every inch of cool flesh until Alex's breaths came a bit faster than before. When he drew off the digit, Hanna licked his own lips and asked:
"Anything specific?"
"Uh…y-you can pick…" Alex said, his windswept voice giving Hanna a sense of pride as much as it provided him with a healthy dose of arousal.
"Okay," Hanna replied, and got out of the car, making a beeline for the store. He huddled into his jacket as he made this dash, only pushing the hood back when he was safely beneath the neon signs and beyond the double glass doors plastered with ads for tobacco and beer. In the back, he fixed two cups of coffee, adding cream and sugar in the appropriate amounts to each of their beverages. His hands shook slightly with nerves. It made Hanna bite on his bottom lip as he worked. He could still taste Alex's finger on his tongue and it made the redhead want nothing more than to have something else in his mouth…Hanna shifted, pants chafing and uncomfortable.
He could only be thankful that his coat was long enough to hide his very apparent problem.
Instead of focusing on where he wanted the events of the night to ultimately lead—unf because there were too many images of the two of them fucking in every possible position, on every available surface in Alex's apartment, and to make it even better, in every scene, Alex was wearing an apron that was just ultimately sexy—Hanna forced himself to focus back on the task at hand. He fitted lids onto their coffees and then put the Styrofoam cups into a cardboard try to carry them. It took all of his might to not spasm right there and drop everything onto the linoleum floor. Holding onto the tray with both hands, Hanna made his way towards the register. But then he stopped. Backtracked. Then moved forward into in the aisle that sold aspirin and personal products.
And condoms.
Flushing, Hanna peeked over the display and past the register. Through the grungy window, Hanna spotted Alex, who was leaning against the back of the station wagon as he gassed it up. Snow was falling; he didn't have a hat on. Someone slammed one of the refrigerator units of beer shut, startling Hanna out of his observation. With Alex's attention elsewhere and no one around to see him, Hanna looked back down again. Everything from his ears to his neck burned as his eyes skimmed over the words extra large and ribbed and lubricated for comfort. So Hanna was a bit of a prude, he couldn't help it, just like he couldn't help the look of utter confusion as he perused over the merchandise in front of him. Of course, they had condoms at Alex's place, but what if they didn't manage to get that far? Hanna was horny enough to try having sex in the parking lot for God's sake. And if he couldn't keep it in his pants long enough to get home, then they'd have to be prepared.
Right?
A bit hesitantly, Hanna reached for a brightly colored box of Trojans—boasting comfort and reliability—in the correct size. He had to snag it off the shelf before his courage ran out. And once he had it in his hand, it was like everyone in the store suddenly was staring at him in an accusatory sort of way.
Or like he was a pervert.
He couldn't put the condoms back and couldn't steal them, so, it was with downcast eyes and a nervous tapping of his foot that Hanna waited in line to pay. Everyone in front of him had soda or beer and some sort of food item. The lady checking out was also buying cigarettes. The guy behind Hanna was talking with his wife about getting a lotto ticket. Something about how Christmas Eve was lucky. Hanna swallowed and wondered if maybe he should grab something else before it was his turn. After all, who goes into a gas station to buy two cups of coffee and condoms?
Him, apparently. And those fucked up guys with shady mustaches who molested little kids.
"Next," said the bored-looking, long-faced teenager behind the counter. Hanna hurried up to him and set his coffee down on the counter with the condoms. He was just begging for them to be overlooked, praying that the purchase went by without even a word exchanged or glance spared towards the incriminating box. But just as Hanna was wishing this, the clerk asked: "What size are these?"
Hanna thought he might melt into a puddle of quivering embarrassment.
"Uh, they're uh, you know," Hanna struggled, face burning and palms sweaty. He had to tell himself to breathe normally or else he would pass out right there.
"Medium or large?" the clerk said, while Hanna was trying to regulate his breathing in order to calm down. And that's when Hanna realized that he was pointing at the coffee, not the condoms.
Fucking. Idiot.
"Medium…" Hanna replied, red and feeling completely chagrined by the situation.
"Anything else?" the teen asked as he punched in numbers on the keypad.
"No that's it…" Hanna said, because all the judgment could not be undone.
"$10.48," was the answer and Hanna forked over his debit card to pay.
"Okay," Hanna said quietly, trying to not fuck up on his PIN number to make everything go smoothly. The people behind him were probably thinking how much they didn't want their son to end up like him: a jittery, homosexual wreck.
"You want these in a bag?" the clerk asked, and waved the condoms at Hanna when he was through paying.
"N-No, I'm fine, t-thanks," Hanna mumbled, putting his wallet away. He took the box of condoms and shoved them into his jacket pocket, grabbed the coffee, and then hurried to the door at the fastest walk-run on the planet. Alex was back in the car, waiting on him under pump six. Hanna opened the door and hopped into the warm vehicle, very aware of Alex's quiet, curious stare as he went through each motion.
"Hey," Hanna finally said, because there was too much sexual tension in the silence of the car.
"Hey," Alex replied, voice low. Husky. Still turned on.
Hanna held out the tray.
"I got coffee," Hanna said.
"Great," Alex answered after clearing his throat, and took the one that Hanna indicated was his.
"Yeah," Hanna said. Despite all the awkwardness in the store, his arousal still remained. The condoms seemed to burn a hole in the pocket of his jacket, itching to be used. The thought of Alex fucking him in the backseat, Hanna's legs over his shoulders as he pounded into him, rocking the car. Moaning. So much moaning. Hanna nearly came just thinking about it.
"Ready to go?" Alex asked. Hanna swallowed thickly, shifting uncomfortably on the seat.
"Yeah, let's go," Hanna replied, putting on his seat belt as Alex turned the engine over and pulled out of the space.
"Was there a long line?" he asked, turning out of the parking lot towards the off ramp leading to the main highway. "You were in there for a while."
"Yeah, there were a lot of people," Hanna answered, fiddling with the cardboard in his pocket. Finally, he removed the box from his coat and set it on top of the dashboard. The golden color stood out even in the dark. Hanna thought his blush might radiate in a similar manner, because the words EXTRA LARGE were like a beacon piercing through the night. "I also bought those."
Alex glanced.
Then he looked again.
Before they made it to the turn off onto the freeway, Alex pulled the car over onto the shoulder and stared.
"Huh," was all he said. Hanna felt more nerves than ever, stomach twisting around the ache that still remained, pushing at the front of his jeans.
"Yeah," Hanna said. He glanced at the backseat.
It was totally big enough to accommodate his fantasies.
"That's not fair," Alex pointed out, looking at Hanna. Because of the limited light, Hanna could barely see his expression, though he could hear the bit of frustration in his voice.
"Why?" Hanna asked.
"Because," Alex began, but then stopped and sighed. He sounded upset with himself that he even said anything at all, amending with a quiet: "Never mind."
"I'm not flaking out this time," Hanna said. He took off his seat belt to lean across the middle console. "I really want to tonight." Alex didn't say anything, and Hanna knew it was probably because he'd heard it before. Hanna had said those same words multiple times, only to have everything screech to a halt before it actually began. It was teasing and wrong and maybe Alex knew that and didn't want to get his hopes up…
"I really do," Hanna said again, resting his cheek against Alex's shoulder. He smelled like snow and leather and the aftershave that Hanna found sexually compelling. "I'm ready."
"If you are, you are, but if you're not, don't worry about it," he replied, and Hanna felt his hand move gently over his back. He was glad that Alex had been so patient with him, but now Hanna was sure. It was going to happen tonight without a doubt.
"No, you don't get it, I'm ready. For real this time," Hanna said, pulling back a bit to look at him earnestly. He laughed lightly at Hanna's near-pouting expression.
"Got it," Alex answered. When Hanna leaned closer to him again, he could see that Alex was smiling, almost like the whole thing was some kind of joke. Maybe he didn't believe Hanna?
"No, really, I am," Hanna insisted, trying to drive his point home with utter seriousness in his tone. Alex's smile fell from amused to just one of those nice, understanding ones that Hanna loved. His chilled fingertips moved over Hanna's jaw in a soft caress that made him tremble, cock aching with neglect.
"Okay," he finally replied.
"Okay," Hanna said with a determined nod. Leaning forward, Hanna sealed the deal with a meaningful kiss. It was a bit awkward for Hanna—what with the console digging into his side and his knee jammed in the square cup holder—but Alex held his cheeks and kissed him back, so it was worth the slight discomfort. It was definitely worth the secondary kiss that followed, a bit more heated than the first with tongue and the bit of roughness from his stubble and Alex's hands that smoothed down over Hanna's chest. They moved around his waist, sliding under the hem of his shirt and jacket, fingers tracing over Hanna's heated skin in a fluttering motion that made the redhead release a throaty sound of want.
"We should probably…go home…" Alex managed to get out, when Hanna gave him his lips and tongue back momentarily. He sounded hoarse and turned on and it just goaded Hanna to keep going because there was nothing hotter than getting Alex to that point where he pleaded.
"'s too far…" was Hanna's breathy reply, kissing and even biting his way along the column of Alex's exposed throat. He knew he was winning when Alex did not push him away, tilting his head back to allow Hanna further access.
"It's just, ah, twenty minutes…" Alex said, voice breaking slightly when Hanna found that spot on his boyfriend's neck that tasted more delicious than any other part of him. Alex's fingers clenched uselessly against Hanna's back as that erogenous zone found itself teased mercilessly by an enthusiastic redhead. "F-fifteen if I speed?"
"Now," Hanna replied, unbuckling Alex's safety belt roughly before unzipping his leather coat with one quick motion. He adjusted his position so that it was a bit more comfortable and although his knee was still lodged in the cup holder, Hanna didn't give it much thought.
"N-Now?" Alex repeated, hands shifting to grip lightly at Hanna's hips.
"Now," Hanna said again, leaving no room for argument. He pulled impatiently at the buttons on Alex's shirt, the first three yielding to the motion while the fourth adamantly remained in place. Bowing his head, Hanna moved his lips over the newly exposed skin of Alex's chest as he fought with the button, pleased with the increased warmth radiating from Alex's flesh the further south he traveled. And when that fourth button gave way, Hanna continued on that path. The fifth and sixth buttons gave him no problem, though the way Alex's breath hitched as Hanna's fingers toyed meaningfully at the zipper of his jeans certainly made him more aware of his pressing need.
"Hanna…" Alex said, and it sounded more like a quiet moan than anything. Hanna rubbed the heel of his palm over the front of his boyfriend's jeans, eliciting another delectable sound. Fingers curled into Hanna's hair and although everything about the situation should have said no, every reaction Hanna received said yes. So what if it was kind of wrong to pull Alex's zipper down so slowly, teasingly breathing over the fabric to make him wait a little longer? Just to hear him beg in that soft, desperate whisper?
But just when Hanna was about to reward him, there was a sharp rap rap rap on the window that made the both of them jump in surprise.
That's when Hanna noticed the beam of a flashlight; the figure in black outside of the window. There were red and blue flashing lights in the side mirror. The only coherent thought that ran through Hanna's head was something along the lines of: HOLYSHITFUCKNOWAY.
"Fuck…" Alex breathed, before Hanna could express a similar sentiment. He pulled his shirt closed before rolling down the window, letting in a burst of cold air and blinding light that made Hanna shrink back into the passenger seat. Alex cleared his throat and in a casual manner tried the old: "Evening, officer."
"Good evening," was the stiff reply as the beam moved from Alex's face to Hanna's. He squinted and held his hand up to block out the offending light.
"What seems to, uh, be the problem, officer…" Alex leaned a little bit out the window to read the policeman's badge. "Van Slyk?"
"I'm responding to a call about a suspicious vehicle," he replied. Hanna wondered how sketchy a Subaru could really look, but decided not to ask. "Is there a reason why you've stopped here? This is a dangerous off ramp."
"Sorry about that. I had, er, a phone call to make so, I didn't want to drive, while talking…" Alex replied. He sounded half-convincing, though his open shirt and developing hickey said otherwise.
"Is that so," said Van Slyk, though it didn't sound like he was buying it. Hanna watched as his beam moved from Alex and then to the condoms on the dashboard. He went as red as his hair when the light lingered on the box that screamed their true intentions. Because of that, Hanna could only hope that the cop was merciful and didn't arrest them for public indecency or some such shit. The biggest turn off on the planet would be spending the night in a dirty prison cell with drunks and some big biker guy who was looking for a new bitch.
"Um…yes," Alex said, in an attempt to sound definite.
The light dropped from the box of condoms, across Alex's disheveled lap and then out the window again.
"I suggest going home before you cause an accident," Van Slyk advised in a disgusted sort of way.
"Yes, of course," Alex replied as the officer put the flashlight back on his belt.
"You're free to go," he said, and Hanna let out a relieved breath. No ticket was nice. No prison was even better.
"Thank you," Alex answered, and then added: "Happy holidays."
The officer didn't say anything, just walked through the snow towards his car as Alex rolled the window back up. Hanna watched the man get into the cruiser in the rear view mirror while Alex buttoned his pants and shirt.
"Holy shit," Hanna said, pulling on his seat belt.
"Holy shit," Alex agreed, doing the same with his safety gear. He took off the emergency break and flashers before pulling back onto the road. Officer Van Slyk's patrol lights turned off, but his headlights followed them for a few miles until he turned off on a west-bound exit. Only when his car was out of sight did they speak.
"That was…" Hanna began.
"Terrifying?" Alex supplied.
"I was thinking awesome, actually," Hanna said, grinning now that the situation had passed. He'd been scared shitless when it happened, but afterwards, it was actually kind of amazing that they'd gotten away with their near-public-indecency-display. Actually, it was more than amazing. Hanna's excitement had actually heightened because they'd been caught in the act. Maybe it wasn't the same for Alex, though…
"I thought he was going to club me at any second," Alex answered, shaking his head. "That was one scary cop…"
"It could have been worse," Hanna pointed out, to which Alex agreed. "And his name was Van Slyk for crying out loud." Hanna glanced at the condoms on the dashboard and snorted into his hand as he said with a dirty overtone: "Ha, Van Slyk."
And then he laughed.
Alex joined him.
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When they pulled into Alex's apartment complex, everything was dark. The parking lot and building lights were out. Even the Christmas lights that people had taped up in their windows were not blinking like they had been every night for the past few weeks. It was kind of eerie, what with the dark and the quiet. Kind of like no living soul resided within a five mile radius. Alex's Subaru sounded loud as it chugged through the snowy lot.
"Huh, I wonder what's going on…" Alex said, pulling into the space next to Hanna's Chrysler. There were several inches of snow piled on top of it.
"Maybe the power's out?" Hanna said. When he got out of the car, Hanna could see ice hanging on the power lines. It would suck if there was no electricity, because that meant no heat... His attention shifted from the wires as Alex's fingers moved around his. A good distraction, Hanna thought.
"Well, if that's true then we'll have to find some way to entertain ourselves," Alex replied. "And keep warm." He smiled and Hanna did too as they walked over the ice and snow towards his building. The nerves weren't as bad as they had been previously, though Hanna could feel his heart beating at a pace that was much faster than usual. Thankfully, the walk up the stairs to Alex's apartment didn't feel like a death march, but rather a path that would bring him to another stage of existence and experience. Hanna knew it was not only the events of the day and the warm hand in his and the dark that attributed to his sudden calm maturity, but also the past few months of having a substantial relationship. He knew in that moment that it was going to happen, because Hanna truly wanted to share something with Alex. He wanted to give something. He wanted to give all of himself. It was a little scary to think of that sort of abandonment: to put so much faith and trust into another human being. Being alone for so long had conditioned Hanna to self-reliance. Perhaps that was the reason for the standoffish nature he'd displayed previously. He had wanted it, yes, but was afraid of that deep, wide abyss that echoed commitment and security. It was that gap that needed to be filled a mutual respect and understanding before those secure goals could be reached. But Hanna had been reluctant to give himself entirely. Alex had given himself easily and without hesitation, but Hanna couldn't do the same. Not immediately, anyway. When Hanna thought about it, he realized he had been afraid to, because what was given could always be taken away.
But that night, Hanna knew that to achieve what he wanted, he had to take a risk.
And he wanted that fulfilled feeling, no matter what the cost. There was always that chance to be hurt, he knew. There was always the chance that "it wouldn't work out" in the end. But there was also the chance that everything would be fine. There was the possibility that this would be the best night of Hanna's life. Maybe even of Alex's life. Special, memorable. .How many people could say that their first time was with someone they truly loved? Hanna could. And it was going to be like he always wanted it to be.
And he wanted it to happen with Alex and no one else.
"It's really dark, hold on a minute…" Alex said when he opened the door to his apartment. Hanna released his hand to let Alex freely grope around in the blackness by the entryway. While Alex did this, Hanna peered into Alex's flat. It looked mysteriously alluring in shadow. Seductive, almost. Suddenly, a yellow beam of light cut through the darkness when Alex turned on the emergency flashlight he kept tucked behind the door. "That's a little better…" He slipped out of his shoes and put the flashlight in Hanna's hand. "I'm going to find some candles."
"Okay, do you need any help?" Hanna asked, removing his shoes as well. His heart did that beat and skip thing that made it hard to breathe once he was inside. The bedroom was only a few feet away. If he strained his eyes, he could see the outline of the bed due to the weak, aura-like glow offered by the flashlight. Instead of making Hanna's palms sweaty with apprehension, he could only wish that they were beneath the sheets right at that moment.
"Nah, I've got it," he replied, close to Hanna's ear. Hanna shivered and leaned back against Alex when those strong arms moved around his waist. "It's kind of cold in here, though. Do you want to get in bed? I'll be there in a minute."
"Okay," Hanna said, because there was nothing else he was really capable of saying when Alex's lips brushed against his ear like that. His previous arousal flared up with an aching heat in response to the stimulus, making him feel hornier than before. And when Alex released him, it had to be through some miracle that Hanna managed to make it to the bedroom without collapsing due to his weak knees. He fell to a heavy sit on the edge of the bed and remained there in still quiet, listening as Alex moved about the apartment for a few moments. When he appeared, it was with a large candle from his bookshelf, already lit. It cast a warm orange glow to Alex's face.
"Are you okay?" he asked, setting the candle down on the bedside table.
"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" Hanna asked. He didn't stutter. His voice didn't even go higher like it usually did when Alex asked him that question. He calmly rode the wave of Want and Ready inside of him, which kept his spastic attitude in check.
Essentially, Hanna was in the fucking Zen.
"You look scared," Alex said, removing a few smaller candles from the crook of his arm before taking a seat on the side of the mattress.
"I'm not," Hanna replied, watching as he lit the wicks using the flame from the large candle. When they were all alight, the room came into a hazy focus. Hanna flicked off the flashlight so that there was just the soft orange hue around them. Then they sat there, unmoving and quiet for the longest time, until Alex laid back and met Hanna's eyes.
He smiled and Hanna's heart swooned, like the first time he'd ever seen Alex smile like that.
"C'mere," he said and Hanna willingly obeyed. He lay down next to Alex on his side, almost like they were going to sleep, but Hanna felt not even a trace of tiredness. All he knew was that he wanted to be touched, so Hanna asked. It was a quiet, earnest request of touch me against Alex's lips, topped with a polite please. And in the half-light of mismatched candles that Christmas Eve, it started with that kiss that made Hanna want to melt every time. That's all it was for a while: just kissing with the occasional brush of fingers over particularly sensitive erogenous zones. It left Hanna dizzy and overheated and horny to the point where it actually started to become a primal necessity in his body. Needy, he moved his hips against Alex's to express his urgency, but a stilling hand placed itself there to prevent the motion. Hanna stopped, letting Alex continue at his slow pace, which involved removing every article of Hanna's clothing with the most teasing of motions. Once he was bare, Alex's notoriously torturous kisses followed, leaving a road map of fiery trails over Hanna's skin. His cock throbbed, pushing at the front of his jeans.
"Alex…please, just…" Hanna begged in a hoarse whisper, back arching as Alex's fingers fluttered over his rib cage on their way to the waistband of his jeans.
"Just what?" Alex asked, undoing the button, but going no further. Hanna made a frustrated sound, fingers curling into the blanket beneath him as he moved his hips.
"You know what," Hanna replied, half-lidded eyes meeting Alex's small grin.
"Do I?" was his answer, as his thumb and pointer finger took hold of the tab on his zipper. He pulled down at a pace that made molasses look like it was on steroids.
"You're doing this on purpose..." Hanna grumbled.
"Can I help it if it's fun?" Alex asked, stopping his torture for a moment to lean over Hanna with that playful smile. Hanna pouted in good humor.
"Don't be mean," he said. It made Alex laugh lightly, before bowing down to kiss him apologetically.
"Okay, okay. I'll be good, I promise." With that said, Alex expertly got Hanna out of his jeans and back into the swing of things. His head fell back against the bed, eyes slipping shut as Alex rubbed him through the material of his boxers. Hanna panted and made a few sounds of encouragement for Alex to continue, but he did not. Instead, he laid down next to Hanna again and kissed him fully. It was clear to Hanna that Alex wanted the two of them to take their time and he had a feeling that the more kissing and touching they utilized to prolong the experience, the better the end result would be. So despite feeling a bit neglected downstairs, Hanna took that moment as his opportunity to just go with the flow of things.
It was very Zen of him, truly.
"You know..." Hanna said, when they parted for breath. His words were lost for a moment as Alex's callused fingertips weaved patterns over his chest, tracing over the peaks of his nipples. Hanna's body jerked with pleasure when Alex gave the right nub a gentle pinch.
"Hmn?" Alex prompted, taking a second to produce the sound as he paused in kissing his way down Hanna's collarbone. His stubble brushed against Hanna's sensitive chest, the reaction going straight to his groin.
"You have too many clothes on..." Hanna replied when he had full function of the English language again. He indicated this by pulling at the hem of Alex's shirt.
"Take it off for me then," was his answer, so Hanna did. He gently pushed Alex onto his back before settling on top of him, smirking himself now that the roles were reversed. His boyfriend just raised an eyebrow to which Hanna responded with a promising kiss. Unlike in the car, the position was much easier to accommodate their activities. Hanna was able to quickly unbutton his shirt—which he tossed over his shoulder without worrying that the cops were going to show up—without any problems. Even in the limited light, Hanna could see some of his work from earlier and made a mental note to tell Alex about the hickeys in the morning. For now, Hanna decided he could use a few more and slowly began working his way from neck down to Alex's jeans.
"You're a tease, too, you know..." Alex said, when Hanna stopped right around his navel to shed his attention there. He particularly liked the muscle that led to Alex's pelvic bone. That whole general area was just a great place for Hanna to loiter and exploit and although Alex had been practicing patience, his fingers curled into Hanna's hair with a silent entreaty to just go down. When Hanna refused to move, Alex made a frustrated sound and said: "Hypocrite."
"I'm not," Hanna replied, working at Alex's belt.
"Are too," he said and Hanna rolled his eyes.
"Okay, maybe a little," Hanna allowed, unbuttoning his pants. "But you are too."
"Hanna, you could melt butter on me and call me a biscuit right now and I'd agree with you," Alex replied honestly, though his vowel extended slightly when Hanna touched him. The breath that followed was almost like a softly hissed yessss as Hanna pulled his zipper down; the low moan that escaped him sounded like a morose nooooo when Hanna did not touch him immediately.
"Hm, now I want biscuits," Hanna said thoughtfully, shifting his hips over Alex's to keep him from moving.
"Y-You're kidding, right?" Alex asked, looking up at Hanna with a mixture of horniness and desperation.
"Actually, biscuits sound really amazing right now," Hanna said, but then saw the creeping disappointment mounting in Alex's expression and laughed before it could develop fully. Kissing him Hanna said seriously: "I'm just kidding."
"And you say I'm mean..." Alex replied, though he didn't look as offended as before, now that the possibility of Hanna choosing biscuits over sex had been ruled as untruth.
"Sorry," Hanna said, and removed his glasses. He placed them on the nightstand by the candles before leaning over Alex with a coy smile. "I'll make it up to you."
"Yeah?" Alex was smiling too, palms moving from Hanna's knees upwards along his thighs. It woke Hanna back into the reality of his want all too quickly.
"Yeah," Hanna said.
"I'll make you biscuits in the morning if that's the case," Alex said, smiling in his good natured manner.
"Deal," Hanna said. Their comedic banter had been fun; a comfortable break in the apprehension that Hanna might have felt if it had been any other night. But Hanna was calm and ready to get things to where they both wanted them to go. He started with a kiss that Alex held him in for a long time, fingers trailing from thigh to hip and then up his spine. It made Hanna ache. He moved his hips against Alex's, starting a rocking motion that sent the both of them writhing, panting as their clothed erections began grinding against one another. After a few moments of this, Hanna pulled away before they could get ahead of themselves, moving down along Alex's body with purposeful intent.
"Yeah...that's it..." Alex encouraged him, body malleable as Hanna removed his last bit of clothing. After discarding the briefs in the same general direction as Alex's shirt, Hanna found himself faced with a needy erection. Alex was always impressive to Hanna, so it was nothing short of worship that the redhead bestowed upon him. Long, sweeping motions of his tongue along the length, paying special attention to the area just below the head that was sensitive on every man. Then Hanna sucked the head, toying the slit with his tongue. It must have felt pretty good, because Alex's words soon became incoherent sounds that Hanna vaguely recognized—from his old anime days—as Japanese. He'd only spoken this way once before, when Hanna had given him a really great blowjob one night after work, and so Hanna knew that he was enjoying it.
"Since I don't speak Japanese, should I take that as it's good?" Hanna asked after he'd eased off Alex's cock, stroking and squeezing it in his palm. Alex's eyes were closed in pleasure and all he could manage was a nod. Hanna leaned over and lapped at the head before straightening up. With a bit of awkwardness, Hanna fumbled out of his boxers before readjusting his balance. His cock was red and it throbbed delightfully as he pressed it against Alex's erection. They moaned quietly as Hanna stroked both of them, squeezing the hot flesh together with each motion of his hand. Alex laid back and enjoyed this attention for a while, before he sat up to kiss Hanna, holding onto his hips.
"You're good..." Alex said huskily, his hips moving in time with Hanna's strokes. Hanna was so horny that he knew they had to slow down, or else he wasn't going to make it much longer. Regretfully, he stopped his pumping, instead rubbing his thumb in circles over the slick head of Alex's cock. His boyfriend's eyes fell shut with the action, but after a moment, he forced them open again and stilled Hanna's fingers. "It's your turn now."
"Mn..." Hanna groaned when Alex squeezed him, feeling himself beginning to lubricate with all the attention. Alex stopped for a moment, switching their positions so that Hanna was lying back against the bed, completely at the mercy of his boyfriend's hand and tongue. It was nothing short of amazing, but Hanna knew he was reaching his limit. Before Hanna could say anything, Alex began deepthroating him and all of his conscious thoughts disappeared. He was only able to shiver and cry out loudly to the ceiling as pleasure assaulted him, clinging to his last few strands of control to keep from cumming right there. Alex must have sensed it because he backed off and moved to lay beside Hanna again; his cock pressed length-wise along Hanna's ribs as they took a break to kiss for a few minutes.
"Do you want to keep going?" he asked, after he finished sucking hungrily on Hanna's lower lip.
"Yes," Hanna replied, panting as he met Alex's eyes. "All the way."
"All the way."
"The whole nine yards."
"All nine?" Alex repeated humorously.
Hanna laughed at his expression of feigned shock.
"All nine."
"Well, then.."
Their brief intermission had given Hanna some more control over his body, which allowed them to keep going. He didn't even notice that Alex had tapped into the stash in the nightstand's top drawer; never heard the small pop as the bottle of lubricant opened. When Alex went down on him again, Hanna lost himself in the sensation of the gentle vibrations around his cock as Alex hummed softly around him. He barely felt the first slick finger enter him, but after its motion became more repetitive, Hanna found himself moving onto the digit. It felt good actually, which was surprising, because he always thought it was supposed to be uncomfortable—
Oh.
When Alex added a second finger, Hanna squirmed in an attempt to get away from the painful intrusion. Even with lubrication, two fingers provided a severe discomfort. Alex slowed down the motion of the fingers to make the stretching easier, but Hanna still found it awful. When a few moments passed with no change in feeling, Alex stopped all motion all together and waited for Hanna's decision. Without his glasses, Hanna could not see Alex all that well, but knew that he wore that concerned, patient expression. Perhaps inadequacy was setting in, too, and that thought was worse than anything. The pain in his body was nothing compared to the pain of pushing Alex away again, so Hanna grit his teeth and told himself to bear it.
"Keep going," he murmured, screwing his eyes shut as Alex began moving the fingers slowly in and out once more. It took a long time—how long, Hanna wasn't sure, though it could have been hours for all he knew—before the agony gave way to a dull pain that wasn't so bad as it had been before. Alex tried to make him feel better by orally stimulating him while he scissored his fingers to prepare Hanna further. While his fingers were doing so, they brushed against something inside of Hanna that made him arch almost completely off the bed in surprise. It was as if a marching band and parade had exploded inside of him for an instant of pure, absolute pleasure. It extended to every part of his body; each nerve and muscle felt that rush of euphoria and Hanna knew then and there that that was the reason sex was such a big deal. Alex moved his fingers back from it before reaching again. It was like the on button of euphoria inside Hanna's body and he nearly came, but luckily, Alex pulled back just in time. It left Hanna a panting, sweaty wreck of want. The good thing was that the third finger that Alex added afterward didn't even phase him.
"Ready?" Alex asked. His voice was quiet in the blurry darkness around Hanna, almost as if he didn't want to shatter the moment with the sound of his voice. Never before had they gotten this far. There was really no sense in turning back, Hanna thought, so he nodded and said:
"Yes."
"Okay."
Hanna waited, trying to relax his body as Alex got them into a more comfortable position. He slipped a pillow under Hanna's tailbone and applied a fair amount of lubrication to his entrance. It was warm and tingly against the sensitive skin there, distracting him momentarily from the tip of Alex's erection that moved between his trembling thighs.
"Relax," Alex advised him, proceeding very slowly, stroking Hanna's cock in hopes of keeping him focused on pleasure rather than pain. Pleasure reigned for a few seconds, before more of Alex slowly pressed inside. His body reacted violently and clenched in an attempt to prevent the intrusion, sounds of pain spilling past his lips before he could stop them. Alex ceased all movement, leaned over so that they were chest to chest, lip to lip as he whispered: "It's okay, Hanna..."
"I-I know..." he answered, gripping at Alex's shoulders to keep him close.
"Try to relax," Alex said gently and Hanna nodded. He did not release the hold on his boyfriend's shoulders, but gave him the go ahead to try again. The position didn't seem to bother Alex, so he stayed in place, keeping a steadied, comforting palm on Hanna's hip as he continued. Hanna only managed to take a little more before the pain became too unbearable and Alex was forced to stop again. As he panted, Alex stroked his hair soothingly. "You're alright. It's okay..."
"Hurts..." Hanna got out, thighs clenching around Alex's middle as the spasms of pain tore through him. He told himself he wasn't going to cry, but his eyes burned beneath his closed lids like fire. A few tears escaped and rolled down his cheeks.
"I'm sorry," Alex replied, voice cracking with guilt. It tore Hanna up inside more than the physical anguish in his body. Even more so when Alex brushed his tears away with warm thumbs. "Do you want to...stop?"
"No..." Hanna answered and shook his head. He wasn't backing down again. "No...go."
"You're sure...?" Alex asked and with justified concern. After all, Hanna had cried. And lost most of his arousal in the process.
"Yeah..." Hanna replied, squeezing at Alex's shoulders. "Go."
"Okay, we'll go slow..." Alex murmured softly, reassuringly against his jaw, pressing gentle kisses there. And after a few moments, Hanna relaxed enough to handle a little more. The process repeated itself a couple times before the end result was achieved and Hanna could not believe that somehow, all of Alex fit completely inside of him. There was pain, but at the same time Hanna also felt utterly amazed. Truly, positively amazed. They were joined, so close, closer than Hanna ever thought possible. And yeah, it hurt a little when Alex slowly began establishing a rhythm—because he wasn't small by any means—but oh, was it worth it. The dull pain receded from his back after Hanna became used to that full, all encompassing feeling and he found himself pressing down onto Alex for want of more. It drove him to move in ways he never thought possible, making sounds he never knew he could produce. His fingernails dug deeply into Alex's back as the pace increased slightly and his body shivered as arousal steadily returned to him with each reaching thrust.
Oh, yes. Hanna knew why people went crazy over sex now.
"Faster..." Hanna heard himself beg, legs clamping around Alex's waist to keep steady as the movement increased with his request. The ache felt heavy and hot in his stomach, coiling with tension as each second passed. Hanna could feel his own precum leaking onto his abdomen as a testament to his aroused state. His muscles were spasming with anticipation, building preparedness for an amazing orgasm. And it was definitely upon him, because when Alex adjusted the angle slightly, he pushed just the right spot that made Hanna scream.
Hopefully the neighbors were out.
"Right there?" Alex asked, hot breath against Hanna's shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah, right there...oh yeah..." Hanna groaned, back arching of its own volition when Alex hit his prostate again. And then he proceeded to aim there over and over until Hanna felt like he couldn't take it anymore. The heat was too much. Combined with the feeling of fullness and the rapid, hard thrusts against his pleasure spot, Hanna was helpless to hold out any longer. Close to completion, Hanna got out a breathy warning—which consisted mainly of I'm gonna before stopping short—and then his body seized up as Alex slammed against that euphoric button. Hot seed spilled onto Hanna's stomach and chest in long, mind-numbing bursts of pleasure. His muscles quivered and clenched around Alex as Hanna experienced his few seconds of pure nirvana. And then, his body relaxed, fell back against the bed numbly.
Sleepy and sated, Hanna resided in a haze for several moments. He felt Alex move back from him before lying down at his side. He said something that Hanna didn't catch, but couldn't ask him to repeat either. Hanna couldn't even muster up words to ask if Alex had finished. But somehow, he could feel that he had—like Alex's unspoken words and smile somehow created its own presence over his body— and it made him sigh in relief. When Alex kissed him softly, lazily almost in post-coital satisfaction, Hanna felt his eyes grow heavy with exhaustion.
"Alex..." Hanna murmured, slurring a bit against the warm chest he tucked himself against.
"Hmm?"
Hanna's tongue felt thick and his mind buzzed with lingering neuron firings of pleasure, so he was unable to articulate anything further. All he knew was that he felt good and he was happy and in the morning, he would have to celebrate the fact that he was no longer a virgin. Drink champagne or something. But tomorrow was far away and the blanket moved over him like a cocoon of warmth, so Hanna could only think about sleep.
"Merry Christmas, Hanna," was what he heard before he slipped into unconsciousness. A kiss fell against his hair like a sigh, warm body wrapped around his. It was perfect: nestled there beside Alex in his bed on Christmas with the knowledge that everything had turned out right and afterwards, it was as wonderful as he had always hoped. But in truth, Hanna was too far away from these coherent thoughts, only able to experience these sensations as bursts of color and emotion within his dreams. And because of that, he would never be sure if the words he heard there were real or a figment of his imagination:
I love you, Hanna.
pqpq
So, there was supposed to be more. But I'm a diabetic after this chapter and can't write anymore. Guh. The next chapter should be up soon. There will be an epic confrontation and climax and then, the epilogue. Just you wait and see. The ending's good, I promise.
Dhampir72