CHAPTER 10
HEALING
At the captain's request, Lindsey stayed with his son's body until he was taken to the morgue. The officers of Central were stunned by Craig's death and were having a lot of trouble coping with it.
"I feel guilty for being glad, but I'm not glad," Ponch said to Jon after Lt. Michelson came in and announced Craig's passing.
"You're not the only one, partner," Jon said as he put an arm around his friend. "He was still one of us, but yet… damn it!" He hung his head, unable to articulate how he felt.
It was the same for the others. Sindy wanted to cry but just couldn't make the tears come. Bear and Grossie each held Bonnie and Kathy, taking comfort in their camaraderie, but wondering at the bizarreness of everything. And then the captain was wheeled in by Mrs. Anderson.
He looked around at his officers with tear filled eyes. "I can't imagine what any of you are thinking right now. And frankly, I don't want to know. The past month or so has been hell for all of us for a myriad of reasons, all centering on my son." Carol put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently in support. He paused to keep his composure before speaking again. "I wish I had something to tell you; some nugget of truth as to why he did what he did, or say 'this is what he was thinking'. But I don't. And now we will never know why."
"Maybe I can help with that."
They all looked to the doorway to see Lindsey standing there with a crumpled piece of paper in her hands. Her face was covered in tears as she moved into the room, looking at no one. Her hands trembled as they held the paper, and she looked like she wanted to flee, but was forced to stay and deliver a horrible message. She finally looked up at Lt. Michelson, brown eyes filled with pain too deep for words.
"You'll probably want this for your investigation. I forgot I had it." Her voice trembled as she spoke. "This was with Steve when I saw him in the van. It's the reason… well, maybe I should just read it." She looked down at the paper, gathering her courage. Bruce started to move to her but she shook her head hard and he stopped. After a minute, she found her voice and began to read.
Lindsey:
I never wanted to hurt anyone. Please make them believe that. They trust
you and will believe you. I've made mistakes in the past, but I know now
that he made me do it.
I have a monster living inside of me that no medicine or doctor can chase
away. This must be what Dr. David Banner felt like before his monster
took over; but mine likes to hurt people and his doesn't. I want to stop him.
I have to stop him and you can help me. You have to make me believe Steve
is dying and then get him out of here. I promise I won't hurt Sindy. I will
do everything I can to keep him from hurting her.
I know Revenge has made me do many horrible things to my fellow officers,
things I am truly ashamed of. Tell my dad that it wasn't me, and that I want
him to be proud of me. I'm doing this for him. He deserved better than what
he got for a son.
Please tell them I'm sorry. I am going to make sure Revenge can not hurt them
ever again. I took an oath as a soldier of the law to uphold the honor and integrity
of the CHP. And I will do whatever it takes to do that, no matter the cost.
Craig.
-oOo-
In the days that followed, the Getraers and the Andersons sat for hours helping each other cope with what happened. Counselors were brought in from Sacramento and unlike a few weeks prior, many if not most officers utilized their services. Besides the turmoil Craig had caused, Steve was still not out of the woods yet, causing more stress and fear for everyone. Craig's final letter had answered some questions but created others, and many officers struggled to reconcile the evil done to them with the repentant person in the note.
Even more confusing for them was whether or not to attend the funeral. They wanted to show support and respect for their captain, but at the same time several officers couldn't stomach showing any kind of respect to Craig at all. Sindy, Jon and Bruce had the most trouble with it and spent many an hour discussing what they should do, if anything at all.
The Commissioner had flown down from Sacramento to talk to Lt. Michelson about the situation and was informed the funeral would not be a typical police ceremony at the request of the family, and he gratefully agreed. He had been fully briefed and had even seen Craig's final note, but still felt that a full ceremonial funeral would be inappropriate. So he gave his blessing on a civilian funeral, but did allow Craig to be buried in uniform.
Mrs. Anderson personally asked Lindsey to come to the service and she accepted without hesitation, knowing that it was the right thing to do. Later that afternoon she told Bruce of her decision.
"You aren't upset, are you, Bruce?"
"You need to do what's right for you, Linds, not for me. I'll deal with this in my own way. But thank you for telling me."
The funeral was indeed small and the media was kept at bay as much as possible. The pastor spoke to the small gathering of family and friends about Craig's hopes and dreams, and touched briefly on the unknown instability that eventually caused him to sacrifice his life to save his fellow officers. A few cousins spoke about him as a child and the fun they had, and then his father stood up in full dress uniform. He was one of only three officers there; Getrater and Michelson being the others as representatives from the CHP.
Captain William Anderson stood at the podium and spoke of a young man who wanted nothing more than to be an officer just like his dad, and told of how hard he worked to become good enough to attend academy. He told those assembled how proud he was to watch as his son went through training and then when he finally graduated, he administered the CHP Code of Honor to the cadets.
While he spoke, Will was playing with a small object on the podium, sometimes sliding it from side to side, other times caressing it or clutching it in his hands. When he spoke of Craig taking the oath, he showed them what he had in his hand.
"This is the badge I pinned on my son eight years ago. It is the same badge he discarded the day the sickness inside overtook him."
Tears filled his eyes as he nodded to the attendants off to the side and watched as they walked over and opened the casket. He walked over and pinned the star onto the still form and gently caressed the cold, unfeeling face before walking back to the podium again.
"There are those out there who would not agree with me when I say this, but I truly believe that in his final moments, my son acted like a true officer, sacrificing his life to save those his inner demon tried to destroy."
He stepped down and sat back in the first pew, holding his wife close. The pastor stood to give the closing prayer and when he was done, he asked for the pallbearers to step forward.
Before the men in the front rows could stand, the doors to the sanctuary opened. People turned to see who was coming in and Lindsey suddenly gasped, covering her mouth in shock. Those assembled watched as seven uniformed CHP officers walked down the isle side by side in two rows. Captain Anderson looked over at Rick and Joe in surprise and confusion, and all three stood as the procession approached the end of the isle.
Officers Bruce Nelson and Sindy Cahill stopped behind the front pew and stood at attention. Those behind them followed suit and then Bruce spoke to the captain.
"Captain Anderson, sir. We have come to pay our respects to you and your son. Those of us representing the Central Division of the California Highway Patrol respectfully request to act as pallbearers."
Overcome by the simple yet profound statement, Capt. Anderson could do little more than nod his approval.
Bruce gave the command and they marched up to the casket and each took a position by a handle. Bruce and Sindy were at the head, Ponch and Jon at the middle while Turner and Baricza stood at the end. Grossie stood at the head of the casket to lead the way since he was still using a crutch to get around.
After the mourners filed out, the officers carried the coffin to the hearse and carefully loaded it inside. The three senior officers looked on with pride and sadness, knowing full well what it cost the officers to do this. Once they were done, they turned to face the captain, standing at attention in a single file line. As if given a non-verbal command, they all saluted their captain, who proudly returned the gesture. He gave the order to dismiss, and they stood at attention once more, then silently walked to their cars or motors and drove away.
Not everyone quite understood the significance of what they had just witnessed, but all were awed by their reverence.
-oOo-
Lindsey returned to Hoag hospital that afternoon to continue her vigil. Steve was still in a coma but was slowly making progress. As she approached his room, she was surprised to hear voices above the noise of the respirator. Peeking in, she could see Jon and Bruce standing to one side of the bed with Sindy on the other. She was talking to Steve as if he were awake, telling him about the funeral.
"We felt it was the right thing to do, Steve. We couldn't really do it for Craig, but for the captain. He needed to know we were there for him because he lost his son." Sindy felt her throat constrict as emotion flooded through her and she looked up at Jon, unable to continue.
He walked around and put a hand on her shoulder and spoke to Steve. "The seven of us felt we had to be there. Craig was still an officer…" he trailed off and tried not to remember the chase a few weeks back that could have cost him his own life. "It was just the right thing to do, and we hope you can accept that when you wake up."
Not wanting to intrude, Lindsey went over to the nurses' station until the three officers came out. She didn't have to wait for long, and she followed them out to the waiting room.
They had all shed some tears, but looked like they had made peace with some of their inner turmoil. Jon and Sindy decided to head out but Bruce stayed behind. He sat down beside Lindsey and took her hand in his.
"It's finally over," he said in a voice husky with emotion.
Lindsey put her hand to the side of his face and gently kissed him, then held him tightly as his healing began.
-oOo-
Steve's recovery was slow, but after ten days he was stable enough to transport up to Cedars Sinai. With the exception of the day of Craig's funeral, Lindsey had stayed with him the entire time at Hoag and rode back to L.A. with him in the ambulance. They were escorted by Sgt. Getraer and Lt. Michelson in front on motorcycles, followed by Ponch and Jon on their motors, then Bear and Sindy in their cruisers.
It was early evening of their first day at Cedars and Steve had been put in a private room. Lindsey was looking over his chart when Dr. Phillips and Dr. Fox walked in, followed by several first year interns. Dr. Phillips explained Steve's situation and condition, pointing out that Lindsey was on staff and was to be included in any decisions made in regards to the officer's care. He then asked Dr. Fox to continue the rounds and spoke to Lindsey.
"I want you to know that I will personally be responsible for your friend's care. I have been following the story in the news and I called my colleague Dr. Jones once I knew where he had been taken."
Lindsey looked startled. "You know Dr. Jones?"
Dr. Phillips smiled, a twinkle in his eye. "I made sure she was the one who worked on him, my dear. She was my protégé many years ago; served her residency here as a matter of fact. I wanted to be sure your friend had the finest doctors this state could provide."
Staring at him in wonder, she felt a rush of gratitude for his kindness. "Dr. Phillips, how can I ever thank you?"
"There is no need, my dear. I have been more than impressed with you and how you've dealt with adversity this past month, and dealt with those in authority who may have needed a swift kick in the ass." She turned crimson and he chuckled. "You were right that day, Ms. Buchanan. I am 'a pompous man with incredible skill at saving lives.' And my bedside manner can leave a lot to be desired mostly due to my, I believe the term you used was, 'freaking ego.' I can't say that things have changed much in that regard, but when someone earns my respect, everyone knows it. And you have my respect. In spades."
She tried to speak but the rush of emotion in her disabled all speech. She had given up trying not to cry days ago and she put a hand to her heart and looked at him with gratitude.
"You are most welcome," he said kindly.
-oOo-
It was another two days before Steve finally regained consciousness. Captain Anderson had come by to visit and was talking to Lindsey when he noticed movement from the bed.
"Did you see that? I think he's trying to open his eyes."
Lindsey smiled sadly. "I wish to God that was true, captain. But unfortunately, it's just an involuntary- oh!"
She had been holding Steve's hand and as she spoke, his fingers slowly started to close around hers. As his grip tightened, his eyes started to slowly flutter open and Lindsey spoke softly to him.
"Mickey?"
Will stood up anxiously. "Should I get a nurse?"
Lindsey nodded. "Yes. Tell them he's coming around and to page Dr. Phillips stat." She rubbed his hand between hers and kept talking to him as the captain left the room. "Come on Steve, open your eyes. Please Mickey..."
Slowly his eyes opened and he blinked at the light, trying to focus on the blurry face in front of him. As he became more aware, he realized something was in his throat and he started to panic.
The heart monitor started to beep faster, and Lindsey knew she had to keep him calm. She dropped the side bed rail and sat beside him, placing her hand on his face while still holding his hand.
"Mickey, its Buck. Listen to me. You're okay. You're safe. Don't fight the respirator, honey. It's helping you breathe. C'mon, Mickey, focus on my voice. That's it. Squeeze my hand… Good. Just listen to me, Steve. You're going to be okay."
She kept up a steady stream of conversation as Capt. Anderson returned with Dr. Phillips and Nurse Karen. The doctor turned to the captain as he grabbed the privacy curtain.
"Captain, if you could please step out while we examine Officer McLeish? Someone will come and get you when we are finished."
"Of course, doctor. I'll be in the waiting room."
The curtain slid closed and Will stood there for a moment before walking back to the waiting room. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Barry, Jon, Ponch and Kathy already there. He smiled and walked over to them.
"Steve just woke up."
Their looks of utter relief and joy were a welcome sight. Kathy was near tears and Bear gave her a hug. Jon let out a huge sigh of relief, shaking his head.
"That's the best news we've had all day. How's he doing, captain? Can we go see him?"
Ponch put a hand on his shoulder. "Slow down, Jon. You're starting to sound like me!"
They laughed and the captain smiled. "This just happened a few minutes ago, so we'll have to wait for a green light before going in."
It was another forty-five minutes before Karen came in to find them.
"Lindsey asked me to come and get you, Capt. Anderson. Oh, you've multiplied!"
All five officers stood when she entered and the captain grinned. "Yes, we tend to do that."
"Well, I was told to come and get you, captain, but I don't think it would hurt if someone else wanted to join you."
After a brief discussion, Kathy and the captain followed the nurse into Steve's room. He had been mildly sedated to keep from fighting the respirator and he lifted his right hand slightly when he saw the two new arrivals.
Will walked over and sat down beside the bed, suddenly overcome with emotion. He had trouble looking at Steve and cleared his throat more than once.
Lindsey had greeted Kathy with a hug and as they were talking, realized the captain was struggling. She squeezed Kathy's shoulder and they walked over to Capt. Anderson. Kathy stood closest to the bed on his right side and placed one hand on his shoulder, then took Steve's hand in the other. As soon as she took his hand, Steve squeezed firmly and Kathy smiled.
"It's good to see you too, Steve."
He gave her hand another squeeze and then released it, moving toward the edge of the bed and he looked at the captain.
Lindsey could read the intensity in his eyes even though he was sedated, and she instinctively knew what he wanted.
"Captain? I know this is hard for you. Believe me, I do. But he's not mad at you, sir. You didn't do anything to him and Steve knows that." She rested her hand on his arm. "Look at your officer, sir. He needs you."
Looking down the captain could see Steve's hand reaching off the side of the bed for him. He slowly moved his own hand toward the bed, unshed tears glistening in his eyes.
Lindsey's heart seemed to stop for a moment as she recognized the look of pain and confusion on the older man's face; it was the same look Craig had given her. Her head snapped up as the heart monitor picked up speed and she knew that Steve had seen it, too. At least that was what she felt caused his reaction.
"Sir, you need to take his hand. If he doesn't stay calm, no one will be able to see him and he needs us. Please, captain."
Will Anderson grabbed his officer's hand and held it tightly as the tears finally fell. Steve responded by squeezing his captain's hand as hard as he could.
Kathy stepped back and the captain moved closer to the bed, reaching through the rail to hold Steve's arm as well. By unspoken agreement, the two women backed away and quietly left the two wounded souls to start on their journey to healing.
-oOo-
After two more weeks, Steve was finally going to be released from the hospital. He was anxious to get out and kept pestering Lindsey to track down a doctor to sign his release form.
"Good Lord, Mickey, relax! You aren't the only patient in this hospital, you know."
"I just want to go home and sleep in my own bed, Buck. You can appreciate that, can't you?"
She stopped filling the small travel bag and turned to face him, hands on hips. "I spent ten days in Orange County with you at Hoag, Steve. Ask me that question again. I dare you."
He saw the glint in her eyes but her tone carried far more threat and he backed down. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Hey, stop packing and c'mere a minute. I wanna talk to you about something."
Lindsey gave him a wary look and sat down on the edge of the bed beside him.
"Yes?"
Taking her hand, he looked deep into her eyes making her self-conscious. "I wanted to thank you for everything you have done for me…" she started to interrupt but he put his fingers on her lips. "No. You'll listen to me and you won't say anything until I'm done. You're an amazing woman, Lindsey Buchanan, and I am so very thankful that you're my friend. It's your love and friendship that sustained me through this whole ordeal and I could never in a million years properly thank or repay you."
His vision blurred and he quickly wiped his eyes, then realized Lindsey was doing the same thing. He brushed her cheek and smiled.
"Everyone keeps telling me about what happened that day and how you risked your own life to save me and Sindy, and it kills me to try and imagine what you were going through. I want you to know that you mean the world to me, Buck, and I can't imagine what my life would be like without you. I wanted to give you something to show you how much you mean to me, so..."
He reached under his pillow and pulled out a small, black velvet box and Lindsey couldn't help but gasp. Panic rose like a wave in her chest and she looked at Steve with fear in her eyes.
"I had Bruce pick it out for me since I was otherwise indisposed."
A look of complete shock replaced the fear and Steve chuckled as her hand flew to her mouth.
"Bruce picked it out?"
"Yeah, Bruce. You know the guy you've been dating without my interference for the past three weeks?"
"But..."
"Lindsey." He squeezed her hand and suddenly looked a little uncomfortable. "The night I asked him to get this for you, Bruce and I had a good long talk. It's not like I could go anywhere and I guess he figured having me as a captive audience couldn't hurt. We talked about you and what you have sacrificed to help the both of us and he told me how much he really cares for you. Then he asked me how I feel about you. Romantically, that is."
Her mind flew back to the night of the accident and the kiss they shared; his words rang in her head. Why didn't it feel this good six years ago? I don't think I can share you. Oh hell, I don't want to share you with anyone.
Her heart was pounding in her ears and she clutched the box to her chest. "And what did you say, Mickey?"
He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and caressed her face again. For the first time in her life, she could not read in his eyes how he felt, nor could she truly guess his answer.
"Open the box, Lindsey."
She was crying now and shook her head. "No. Not until you tell me."
"Trust me. Open it." There was intensity in his gaze she had never seen before and she slowly opened the box.
The diamond and emerald heart pendant sparkled as the light caressed it.
"Oh, Mickey…" Her tears fell in earnest as she touched the gems reverently. "It's, it's beautiful."
"Do you remember what you said to me the night I 'proposed' to you?"
"I said a lot of things that night."
"About marrying me."
"Oh. I told you that you needed to court me, take me on dates and buy me pretty trinkets…" She gasped. "Oh Steve, no…"
Taking the box from her he removed the necklace, undid the clasp and put it around her neck. When he was done, he put his hand over the pendant.
"You have first and foremost always been my friend, and I don't want to lose that. I love you and will do anything in the world for you. You mean more to me than anyone and I will do anything and everything in my power to protect you and see you happy."
"Steve, please…"
"Let me finish. When Bruce asked me if I had romantic feelings for you, I could see a passion for you in his eyes that is different from anything I feel. People say we were made for each other and they're right. We were made to be best friends. And I want you to know you will always have a piece of my heart."
Placing her hand over his, she pressed it to her chest.
"And you will always have a piece of mine." She leaned forward and embraced him, her tears wetting his shoulder. She sat back a few moments later and wiped her eyes, then held the heart in her hand, nervously sliding it back and forth on the chain.
"So, you're not proposing to me?"
He laughed and shook his head. "Why, did you want me to?"
She smacked his arm sharply. "Then why did you let me think you were? Oh, you make me crazy!" She got off the bed and started jamming things into the travel bag, keeping her back to him.
"Buck, come on."
"No. It was mean." She turned to face him with a look of hurt and anger. "You confused the hell outta me when you 'proposed' to me six weeks ago. And then the night of the accident you tell me you're jealous of Bruce and you don't want to share me with anyone. So what am I supposed to think, Steve? Tell me that." She turned her back to him once more and continued packing.
"I don't remember the night of the accident," he said seriously, and he watched her back stiffen in response.
"You may not remember that night, but I do. Vividly. After you told me you didn't want to share me with anyone, I kissed you."
Now it was his turn to look stunned. "You what? But you and Bruce…"
She turned to face him again. "He thought you were in love with me so he freed me to 'make my choice.' I couldn't believe the timing; we were both told to give it a try, so I thought, 'why not?' So I kissed you and you kissed me back and it was really nice but then you got all defensive because I guess it confused you and then you-"
"Hey, slow down there, turbo! Lindsey, I didn't know." She glared at him then looked away blinking back the tears. Steve held out a hand to her. "Come here."
She slowly walked back to the bed and let him take her hand.
"I admit it. I wanted you to think I was proposing because of what I had done before. But if I had known, or more precisely remembered what happened that night, I never would have done it this way." He pulled her toward him and she plopped down on the bed. "I'm sorry, Buck. I really am. Forgive me, please?"
She sniffled and nodded, looking down at her hands. "You're a brat and you make me crazy."
"I guess that'll have to do for now," he said with a wry smile. She gave him a hug and he whispered in her ear. "Was it a good kiss?"
She sat up quickly in shock. "Mickey!"
"Hey, I've gotta know."
Lindsey blushed, smiling at the memory. "Yeah, it was. You asked me why it didn't feel that good six years ago."
"I did? It must have been a really good one then. Wanna refresh my memory?" She smacked him again. "Ow!"
"You deserved that. And no, I will not refresh your memory because as nice as it was, kissing Bruce is nicer." She stood up and smiled at his shocked expression. "Sorry Mickey, but the truth hurts. Hey, does this mean that you will finally let me see Bruce in peace?"
Steve smiled. "Yes, Buck. I won't interfere anymore. That's why I wanted him to pick out the pendant. I told him what I wanted and that I trusted his judgment. I don't think I could have done any better myself, and I felt it should be from both of us."
-oOo-
Half an hour later, Steve was being helped into Lindsey's car. Once he was settled, she got into the drivers seat and pulled away from the entrance.
"I'll bet you're happy to be leaving, huh Mickey?"
"Yeah, I guess," he said slowly.
She glanced over at him with a worried look. "Hey. You okay? What's wrong?"
"I dunno, it's just weird to finally be out."
"Dr. Richards said that you need to give yourself time to adjust-"
"I know what the shrink said!" It came out much harsher than he intended, and Lindsey's cheeks turned red. Steve sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Buck. I didn't mean it." He took her hand and gave it a squeeze.
Lindsey drove for a few minutes and then pulled into shopping center and parked the car. She turned in her seat to face him.
"Steve, you have to talk about it some time. I've talked to Dr. Richards and he said that you remember more than you're letting on and you have to get it out of your system. You aren't the only one who suffered at Craig's hands, but you are the only one who was robbed of the chance at closure at his funeral. Please talk to me, Mickey."
He sat there in silence, staring straight ahead at the street in front of them. She saw his jaw tighten and knew he was warring with reason and emotion. His hands had balled into fists and she gently took his left hand in hers. Steve finally looked over at her with eyes that reflected deep pain.
"He took such pleasure in hurting me, but would then apologize for it later…"
He told her what he could remember of his time as Craig's captive, not realizing how badly he had been traumatized. Lindsey told him about the letter and had shared the details of the funeral with him. He was glad to hear about the officers acting as pallbearers and their decision touched him deeply. It was a good hour before Lindsey started the car again and drove him home.
As soon as they walked in, Steve went straight to his bed and was asleep within ten minutes. Lindsey sat on the edge of the bed and held his hand, watching him sleep. His eyes were puffy from crying, but he had a look of tranquility that was not there before. She bent down and brushed her lips across his forehead and crept from the room, allowing some of his serenity to creep into her own soul.
-oOo-
A few days after Steve came home, Lindsey handed over caretaking duties to Baricza. It seemed half of Central signed up to stay with him or do odd errands, take him to physical therapy or whatever he needed help with. It was an uneventful day of watching TV and talking, until about four thirty. Barry turned off the television and turned to Steve.
"What've you got here that's edible?"
He shrugged. "I dunno. Linds went shopping yesterday I think. I can go take a look if you want."
"Nah. I'm not cookin' and I sure as heck don't trust you to feed us. How about we go out?"
Steve smiled and shook his head. "Bear, I'm sure there's something-"
"Nope. Now get your crutches and let's go cuz I'm not carrying you."
They laughed as Steve grabbed his crutches and they headed out the door.
"I found this great Italian place on Hollywood Blvd. and Las Palmas," Bear said as they drove down the street. "Their pasta primavera is incredible, and you've got to try their breadsticks!"
A few minutes later, they were ushered into the back of the restaurant and a rousing cheer went up.
"McLeish!"
"What the hell?" He looked over at Barry who had a huge smile on his face.
"We didn't want to all try and cram into your tiny little apartment, so we thought we'd drag you out for some fun." Bear slapped him on the back and helped him navigate through the small crowd.
It took about ten minutes for Steve to greet everyone before he was finally able to sit down at a table. The atmosphere was happy and relaxed, and the red and white checkerboard tablecloths and Italian music lent themselves to the mood. Bruce and Lindsey were sitting one table over from him and Steve smiled as Bruce put his arm around her and she snuggled into him. Grossie was regaling his table with some wild story while Ponch was throwing napkins at him.
Meals were ordered and conversation flowed. After salads were served, Joe stood up and addressed the group.
"All right people, settle down…"
"Watch out," Ponch said loudly. "That's his 'briefing' voice!"
The sergeant smiled. "Thank you, Frank. Now, may I have your attention please? Thank you. As you all know, we're here to welcome McLeish back-"
He was cut off by loud cheers and whistles and Steve smiled self-consciously. Barry started clapping and soon the whole room was alive with applause. Lindsey smiled at him and motioned for Steve to stand, and he did so reluctantly. Joe held his hand up for silence and they finally quieted down.
"As I was saying, we all wanted to get together on your behalf and welcome you home."
Steve smiled. "Thanks Sarge. I really appreciate it." He sat back down and Joe continued.
"It's been a rough couple of months for us and I don't want to dwell on the past, but I do want to say that I am very proud of this station and everyone in it. On behalf of myself, Lt. Michelson and Capt. Anderson, we wanted to say thank you all for jobs well done. And once again, welcome back, McLeish."
The applause was more subdued this time but not any less heartfelt. As the meals arrived, conversations picked up again and Steve looked at his friends and colleagues with admiration. They'd been through hell and back, and they all bore the scars, whether physical or emotional. They stood by their captain when by rights they could have turned on him. His best friend carried him through one of the darkest times in his life, and she was now in the arms of a man Steve knew he could trust.
He glanced over to his captain and stared into the face he knew so well; one that sometimes still haunted his sleep, albeit a younger version. He knew he could trust this man, too, as well as his sergeant and the people around him to help him through the rest of his recuperation.
The captain glanced up and saw Steve looking his way and nodded to him, raising his glass slightly in a toasting gesture. He couldn't be heard over the noise, but Steve could read his lips when he said "To your health."
Steve raised his glass in return, nodding and smiling. He could see a shadow of pain cross the officer's face and he silently returned the toast. To your health. And may your son finally have the peace he didn't have in life.
The end
Author's Notes
First of all, I want to thank my Beta (and new friend!) Zaedah for bringing out the full potential of this story. Your notes and comments were beyond helpful and this story would not exisit as it is right now without your generous care and guidance. Thank you from the bottom of my eternally grateful heart. You are wonderful.
As always, many heartfelt thanks to my Audio-Beta: my darling husband. Many of your ideas made it in here, and you helped me see that some of mine should be kicked out. You are a wonderful help and I thank you for listening to me read sections to you and offering input. You rock.
To Karen, Sue and Irene: I hope you like your characters! They were fun to write. :)
To Ginger and Leanne: Did you notice that I snuck some Voyagers! in there? LOL How can I not put the references in when Phineas started me on my writing path? :D
And above all, Thank You God for the gift of writing. You are my Muse and inspiration and I thank You for using me to make people happy.
I never thought I'd end up writing so many stories, least of all for CHiPs. This was by far the most intense and engrossing story I've written so far, and I will miss having it around to work on. I hope it met your expectations. Thanks for reading. And please review!
Dayna