An Apology and Shitty News
I know after a month of absence, this is not what you want to hear.
Can I just be really honest with you all?
My life has been some chaotic shit for months, and it just keeps getting worse.
I have a lot going on in my family, this semester has been killing me, I'm trying to deal with college – a new and terrifying territory.
But the absolute worst part is that I can't write anything without hating it. I don't know if I just over-criticize myself, or if I'm really that terrible, but either way I just… can't.
That's a pathetic excuse, but it's honest and I truly have no words to describe it.
I recently started taking a medication, and one of the side effects is a possible loss of interest in hobbies. I really don't know if that's why I feel so lost, but the timeline sure lines up.
I keep trying to write… and I try again, and again… but nothing. I don't know why.
I'm miserable and frustrated because this is what I've love doing.
I'm not telling you this for your pity, I promise. I'm trying to give you answers. Some of you have asked if I'm okay, but the honest answer is that I don't know. The loss of writing feels like a chunk of me is missing. It's bizarre.
So, I am so, so, so upset to say this story will be paused. I'm going to keep trying, but I don't want to keep you all hanging any more.
Oh my God, I am so sorry to all of you.
Canceling a story is something I promised myself I would never do, but that's not what this is. It's a pause… but maybe that's worse.
Anyway, I am sorry for this rant, and for pausing this story. I've just lost the inspiration that used to fly from my fingertips.
With my deepest apologies, and sincerest thanks for each and every one of you for everything,
GerdyGertha