For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple. I also could never be genius enough to write such a song as "White Blank Page" which is the property of the fabulous Mumford and Sons.
Again, here I am, updating later than I planned. Sorry :P Graduation and parties and family stuff has been eating up my time. And other shit's been going down and requiring my brain power and focus where I wish it didn't have to. But Anyway, I cranked out this chapter. Got a little lost for words near the end... Not so sure about it. I like my idea of the next chapter, not sure when it'll be up. The shit's (See above) about to get muggier and more complicated so ... yeah. :P But anyway. drop me a review if you've got time or something to say. Constructive criticism please? Thoughts? Wishes? Whatever works :) enjoy.
Thanks,
M:)
XXX
White Blank Page
Chapter 10
"NYPD."
"NYPD."
"NYPD"
Everything was chaos. There was screaming and the person who was wrapped around Kate was suddenly limp, his body weight dragging her down with him as something wet slipped over her shoulder. Their landing jarred her head back into Johnson's chin. Dazedly she watched as SWAT member after SWAT member streamed through the door. One peeled off and leaned over Castle and sliced the ropes off his wrists.
Kate's brain took a moment to catch up with what she was seeing but when it did, her breath caught . He's alive. Oh god, He's alive. I didn't shoot him.
She untangled herself from a feebly stirring Johnson with little patience and threw herself at Castle He looked up as she did, shock etched on his face as he folded his arms around her waist.
"You're alive. I'm sorry. I love you." The three short sentences were spewing from her, a constant buzz low in his ear as she shook and rocked against him, touching him everywhere she could, checking and rechecking for a bullet hole that she hadn't inflicted.
He was trembling just as badly, a hand cupping the back of her head, "Shhh. We're okay. Shhh. God, I love you."
She was half in his lap and the convergence of almost losing Castle, her battered body, and the fear in which they'd been living for the past who knew how long, was finally too much and the tears were unstoppable as they snaked down her face.
"Castle." It came out strangled, bordering on hopeless.
"I know." he was crying too, choking on a sob that he couldn't let out, "I know, baby, we're okay."
"Again with the 'baby.'" she spluttered, pulling her face up to his and seeing the tear tracks on his face for the first time, "I think it can slide for now."
He half laughed, pressing his forehead to hers, "Just this once?"
"Don't push your luck, babe."
"Hold on a minute." She silenced him, bruising their lips with the desperate force behind her kiss. Everything else around them was irrelevant except for the fact that he was still alive, warm, heart beating, breathing, calling her stupid pet names that she secretly loved.
Someone was clearing their throat off to the side and they split apart, Kate hissing in pain at the jump over her gash.
"Well..." Ryan was peering at them from under his SWAT issue helmet, exchanging glances with Esposito to his right, "Good to see you're both still alive."
"Cutting it kinda close there, don't you think?" Beckett asked, still rooted in Rick's arms, almost scared that if she moved, he'd disappear.
"Next time, don't get your asses kidnapped then." Javier said dryly but his three partners could hear barely masked concern. Ryan wasn't hiding it much better.
"Took you long enough to find us." Castle muttered back, adjusting his arm around Beckett to make sure he wasn't anywhere near her injury and cradling her wrist in his other hand, stroking the improper angle of the joint.
"Yeah, well you two should have been able to take down one guy without us."
"Should have, being the operative word." Kate muttered, "You see who it was?"
"Yeah. My bullet caught his shoulder. Bastard whacked his head hard on the floor. He's been out for a while." Ryan sounded pretty proud.
"Can't believe it's him," Esposito muttered, "Can't believe he would..." he trailed off, watching the other SWAT guys secure a still unconscious Johnson's hands behind his back.
"Yeah, we were all shocked." The adrenaline was beginning to wear off and she was starting to feel the dislocation. A numb kind of pain was shooting between her finger tips and elbow.
"You okay, Beckett?" Ryan was peering down at her wrist and Castle turned her arm gently so he could get a better look, "Eesh that looks nasty. That the worst of it?"
Castle opened his mouth before she had a chance. "No. Kate, show them."
"No, It's... I'll get it checked out." She shifted away from him, clambering gracelessly to her feet. It seemed to be then that the boys finally noticed the blood staining the lower portion of her navy shirt.
"Kate, why are you bloody?" Esposito's hand shot out to steady her as she stumbled, blinking hard to retain the consciousness to which she now clung.
Castle came up behind her and tugged the side of her shirt up far enough for the boys to catch a glimpse of her enflamed side.
"Castle." she pushed his hand away, but he twisted his around, locking their fingers together.
"Beckett, we need to get you to the hospital right now. Come on, there's an ambulance out front." Ryan started to lead the way out of the room, Esposito and Rick flanking Kate as they went.
Beckett shook off Castle's hand and as she did, his arm spasmed, sending his hand jerking forward. Ryan and Esposito stared at him, "Dude."
"Johnson shot him with some kind of taser. He's been doing that for a couple of days now." Ahh Payback's a bitch, Rick.She thought as Castle shot her a look.
"It's nothing." he tried to say but Ryan cut him off.
"Save it. You're off to the hospital too. Not that you weren't already but... Alexis would never forgive us if we let you go without making sure you got that checked. She's..." Ryan cleared his throat, trying not to look at Castle, "She's been a mess, man."
Castle sighed a heavy groan, "How did she even-"
"You guys have been gone for five days."
That knocked the breath out of both of them. Five days. How had what felt like an eternity only been five days?
"How much did you guys tell her?" Castle asked between gritted teeth.
"Much as we thought you 'd want her to know." Esposito promised, "She wasn't always happy with that but..."
"I know. Thank you." The father in him was throwing a fit. How could he have let it get to this? His daughter, his baby girl was being forced to become a prematurely old woman. It made him sick to his stomach.
Kate could feel the inner turmoil grinding him down with every step they took and she wound her hand back into his. He squeezed hard and didn't let go the entire ambulance ride to the hospital.
XXX
As it turned out, they were both better and worse off than they expected. Castle had a minor concussion, severely strained intercostals on almost all of his rib, several of which were bruised, 4 puncture marks on his chest from the taser, and a hairline fracture on his cheek bones. He was dehydrated and a little undernourished but that was nothing an overnight stay in the hospital and an some IV fluids couldn't fix. The tremors, they said, were caused by damaged neural pathways and would stop within a week.
Kate also had a minor concussion, moderate dehydration and a nourishment level similar to her partner's but on top of those, there was the severely infected gash on her right side, a cracked bottom rib on the same side, and a dislocated wrist that required surgery to fix. Castle barely had time to smooth his hand down her cheek and promise to be there when she woke up before they whisked her away to the OR.
His reunion with Alexis was emotional to say the least. She and Martha had returned from the Hamptons a couple of days previously to find an vacant loft, Castle's and Beckett's personal effects being the only clues that something was wrong. After about a minute of trying to stay strong, she cracked under the pressure and he pulled her against his battered chest as she sobbed, whispering reassurance. Martha didn't stop running her fingers through her son's hair and kissing his forehead the entire time, masking her tears with a shaky vibrato that she quickly gave up.
Alexis tried to pull away when she had stopped sobbing so violently and remembered his injuries but he would have none of it, keeping her beside him in the hospital bed and brushing her hair.
"Dad." her voice was strangled and the tears he'd been studiously keeping back threatened again, "Don't do that ever again."
"Oh pumpkin," he kissed her temple, rocking them back and forth," I won't. Never again. I'm so sorry."
The three were quiet for a time, Castle pulling his mother down to sit at his other side, clutching her hand.
"How's Kate?" Martha asked eventually. Alexis lifted her head from his shoulder to hear his answer.
"I ... She'll be okay. You'll see. I don't..." He cleared his throat and started again, "It took me forever to convince them to let her stay in the same room with me, but I promised to be there when she woke up and since they won't let me move... It's going to be rough for a while. The man that...took us," his mother and daughter shuddered at that and he held them tighter, "He was a cop. She's going to have a hard time trusting anyone aside from her core team again."
"Did anyone call her dad?" Alexis lay her head back down on his shoulder.
"I think Ryan did. Kate told him not to but... well they'd already promised to tell him when they found us and I'm pretty sure rule-of-boss's- father trumps rule- of -boss."
Martha and Alexis chuckled and Castle silently congratulated himself for his accomplishment.
Two hours later, all three of them were hanging somewhere between awake and sleeping. Castle had tried to tell them to go home, but Alexis refused to leave his side. Martha had coaxed her into chairs that she'd pulled up to the bedside his bed and finally the teen succmbed to the exhaustion and lay her head in her grandmother's lap.
The lights from the city filtered through the blinds, illuminating the darkest corners of the room. Why was surgery taking so long? All they had to do was pop her wrist back in, right? Maybe they're cleaning out the gash. Oh god, what if something went wrong? What if they're doing surgery on her again? What if...? Being away from her for so long, after everything they'd been through, especially at night was killing him.
There was a soft knock on the door that pulled him out of his tailspin of anguish. Martha's eyelashes fluttered and Alexis wrinkled her nose but otherwise they didn't move.
"Come in." Castle whispered across the room.
The door creaked open and Jim Beckett looked in. Castle sat up straighter and then winced as his body protested.
"Don't move on my account, Rick." Jim slipped the door shut behind him, smiling softly at the two red headed women, as he crossed the room "Good to see someone can get some sleep." It certainly didn't look like he'd gotten any recently. His hair was ruffled in a way that suggested that a comb was not what had been running through it recently. His red plaid shirt was slightly wrinkled and his eyes were sunken in their sockets above deep, purple crescents. A father going through hell. Again. Ricks' stomach knotted at the sight of him.
"I won't be able to sleep without seeing Kate first," Castle sighed, dropping his head back onto the pillows and closing his eyes, willing Kate to be there when he opened them.
"I haven't slept soundly since the two of you disappeared." Jim took the chair at the other side of Castle's bed and sat near his head so that they could continue to speak.
"I'm sorry." Rick mumbled, "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect her."
"Rick." The snap in Mr. Beckett's voice when he used Castle's first name made him look up, "It's not your fault. They told me... what they think happened to you. You were tased several times. and beaten. There was nothing you could have done. I'm just glad that you're both alright." The emotion in Jim's voice was enough to close Castle's throat further.
"Thank you." They were quiet for a moment before Jim spoke again.
"What did he want from you?"
"To know what we knew about the case. Kate thinks that since we were using my Smart Board for the current case, he thought we were working on her mom's case. I guess Kate told you about..." Jim saved him finishing his sentence by nodding. "But we didn't know anything. He didn't believe us."
"Katie's letting go of it. She's promised me she's letting go. And then... one of her cops is in on it..." Jim's head was in his hands, fingers combing through his thinning hair, "Try to keep her away from it. Please."
It was a strangled plea, a last hope of a beaten down father. Castle's heart ached, "I will." he barely choked out, "I promise I will."
"You're good for her, Rick," Kate's father lifted his head, offered the writer a smile, "She's happier when you're around, when she talks about you. Thank you for that."
"Always." He responded out of habit, and then felt embarrassed but Jim seemed to accept the promise without question.
It was almost 15 minutes later when they finally brought her in. Jim's head lolled to the side as he absently skimmed a magazine. Castle was watching his mother and daughter, but jerked up as a couple of interns rolled Kate's bed into the empty space next to his.
She looks so small, he mused, watching as her father crept to her side and took her hand, pressing his lips first to it and then her forehead. The last time she was here... He didn't allow himself to finish the thought, didn't permit the gut-churning images from their last visit to the hospital to permeate the forefront of his mind. She's fine. She'll be fine.
A black cast encased her right arm three quarters of the way to her elbow and several drip bags, aside from the IV, were hooked up to her left arm. Antibiotics, he guessed, watching her sleep and feeling the tension leaking from his chest.
"Hey, Katie," Jim whispered, perched on the edge of her bed.
"Dad," her mouth was dry and the rest of her words caught on her tongue.
"Yeah, I'm right here, Katie." Jim leaned over and pressed his lips to Kate's forehead before taking a cup of water and holding the straw to her lips. she sipped for a couple second before she was spluttering and fighting against cup.
"Dad, where's Castle?" she wasn't sure where the panic was stemming from but suddenly she was drowning in it. Where is he? God, Where is he?
Castle was at her side in seconds, pain gone, worry replacing it. He'd been meaning to step back and leave them with as much time as he and Alexis had had, but the rawness in her voice cut through him and he couldn't help but need to be near her. Judging from the expression on her father's face, he was glad of the fact.
"Kate. Hey. I'm right here." he ran his fingers lightly over the deep bruising that coated her cheek.
The tension visibly leaked from her body as she leaned into his hand, "Castle."
"Yeah. How're you feeling?" He smiled as a dopey grin replaced the panicked grimace.
"Hate anesthetic. World's spin-y again. Makes me feel dumb."
"Go back to sleep, Kate. You'll feel better second time around. "
"I know that. Been under before," but her words were slurring and she was sliding back under already.
"I know you know. Just sleep for now."
"You should go lay down. Just as screwed up as I am." her eyes had slipped shut.
"Okay. I'll go back to lay down. We'll be here when you wake up."
"Stop patronizing me." she grumbled. He chuckled and kissed her temple. Jim smiled at their interaction and strode around to the other side of his daughter's bed
"Not patronizing, Kate."
"Are too." Her nose wrinkled suddenly and she tried to force her eyes open again, but only managed to crack them, "Martha and 'Lexis. They okay?"
"They're fine. Look." he moved just enough for her to catch a glimpse of his snoozing family.
"Okay. Good. Now go lay down." her eyes closed again.
"Okay, I'm going." he kissed her cheek, forgetting that her father was sitting not two feet away and whispered, "I love you." The sentiments stuck a little on the way up, not sure if she'd be okay with it.
She didn't seem to mind. "Love you too." Even uttered in a cracked, half whisper it was still the second best thing he'd ever heard. (the first obviously being Alexis calling him 'Dada' for the first time.)
And then she was asleep again, right arm propped on a couple of pillows at her side, Jim's hand resting just above the brace. Castle couldn't even look at her father as he crawled back into his bed, trying to move as little as possible, fractured cheek sparking with pain as he grinned at his partner's sleeping form.
Kate was definitely more coherent when she woke the second time. Alexis had woken at one point, incredibly thirsty, and half shrieked when she caught sight of the detective rubbing her eyes and staring at the brace on her arm.
Fortunately, only her father, who was well attuned to his daughter's voice, woke as she clamped her hand over her mouth.
"Hey, Alexis. Have a nice time in the Hamptons?" Beckett tried to smile encouragingly, but Alexis was already tearing up and taking a few tentative steps to her side, before sinking down next to her hip.
"Gah Lex, don't cry. Why're you crying?" Kate took her hand and glanced at Castle, who had sidled up behind his daughter.
"I don't even know!" She half blubbered, sniffing, "I just can't stop crying now!"
"Ohh." Beckett chuckled softly and hugged Alexis with her good arm, rubbing her back lightly, "It's okay."
"I know," Castle's daughter reined herself in quickly, wiping her eyes and sitting up after a couple of moments, "I'm just so glad you guys are okay." Kate smiled up at her and took her hand, running her thumb along the girl's knuckles. Alexis clutched it tight.
"How're you feeling?" Castle turned to find Kate looking up at him expectantly .
"Me? Oh I'm fine." His leg twitched and he had to hold onto the rails of her bed to keep from falling.
"Oh really?" She nodded at his bed, "Go sit back down, Castle, before you fall and give yourself a worse concussion or fracture that cheek more."
"But Kate..."
"Dad." Alexis gave him an almost identical look to Beckett and he pouted even more heavily but returned to his bed, grumbling about getting teamed up on.
The next day broke on an almost empty room. It had been nearly two in the morning when Rick and Kate had finally convinced their families to go home for a proper night's sleep in real beds. Martha and Alexis insisted that Jim take the guest bedroom at the loft so that he could come in early with them to see his daughter. The three had left together after very long goodbyes.
Sometime just before three, Castle was shaking Kate out of a violent nightmare. It took her several minutes to control the shaking and to get her breathing back under control even cradled against Castle's chest.
"What happened?" He whispered, combing his fingers through her hair and easing them back onto the pillows, taking note of which movements caused her to wince in pain.
"You died. I shot you and you... died and Alexis was screaming. I couldn't breathe and then Johnson was standing in a corner laughing and my dad was yelling at me and you were just lying there in a pool of red..." She trailed off, trying to swallow the terror that was clawing its way out of her throat.
Castle could feel her tensing again and pulled her tighter to him, forcing her hand onto his chest, ignoring the flare of pain, "I'm right here." he parroted her words from their prison back to her, trying to relieve some of her anxiety. She leaned up and kissed him hard. He responded just as fervently, convincing her that he was indeed right there. The steady thrum of blood circulating, keeping him alive, seemed to soothe her and eventually both dropped back off to sleep.
A shaft of light slashed across his eyelids, staining the insides pink. He blinked in the bright light and then groaned at the knife between his eyes. Yeah... Sun plus concussion definitely equals bad. He turned his head away from the offensive brightness and buried his face in Kate's hair. She snuffled some, tightened her fingers around his shirt under his fingers but didn't wake. Someone had washed her hair and it smelled like the generic soap found in public bathroom, completely the wrong smell, but her scent was resting just under the surface, teasing his senses.
We're alive. Damn, that felt good. Yes, they'd been kidnapped and effectively held by one guy for almost a week, but that man... he was trained, fully capable of dispatching them with little effort. He couldn't lie, he felt lucky to be alive, lucky that she was alive.
But why was Johnson even involved? How was he involved? Was he even around for those cases? Castle couldn't remember. His head was still throbbing and all he wanted to do was sleep again and worry about this later.
He'd just closed his eyes, face back in her hair, kissing the side of her neck, when a knock came at the door.
What now?