Realities Cubed
By Jim Robert Bader
(Inspired by Rumiko Takahashi, Buronsan, Tsutomu Isomata, Hiroki Hayashi, Ryde Tsukimono With ideas and characters supplied by Trella and Others)
Chapter Nine.
A Hand for the Big Lady
Continuum # 3742196
Roll Call:
Ranma Saotome -Timecop, heir to the Musubetsu Kakuto Ryu, avatar of Shiva Nabiki Saotome -Timecop, Ranma's Partner & Wife, Lore Master Ranko Saotome -Apprenticed Timecop, their adopted daughter & heir Sayo Sanosuke -Daughter of Ranma and Kasumi, heir to the Hiten Mitsurugi Kempo Hiroshi Honsamu -Son of Maki and Takai, a woman of the Dark Worlds, Shinto Priest Lyn Reikou Kuno -Daughter of Freya and Tatewaki Kuno, Valkyrie in Training
"So...let me get this straight," Nabiki said with an exaggerated drawl to her voice, "You married Kuno because he recognized you as a goddess?"
"Well," the Goddess of Love and Battles smiled prettily, "To tell the truth, I was rather taken with his charms from the first moment we crossed swords together. He was so handsome and good with that wooden blade of his, and the way he talked...why it just downright gave me the shivers!"
"Excuse me," Nabiki made a deferring gesture, "We are talking about Kuno Tatewaki, tall boy, likes to spout poetry and has a head like a stone, only not as perceptive?"
"That's the one all right," Freya affirmed with a pleasant lilt to her voice.
Nabiki shook her head then recovered her bearings, "Pardon me...I know this may sound a little rude, but I'm having trouble making the cognitive leap here. I mean...I knew Kuno-chan from when we both were little, but the Kuno I knew was arrogant, conceited, full of himself, thought he was Heaven's gift to the ladies..."
"You've nailed my husband right to a T-square," Freya affirmed, "Only he's not as bad now as what you probably might remember. I helped the boy mature a little...shown him some pretty mind-expanding avenues and all that, plus got him the treatment he needed to cure himself of his drug addiction. Even clean and sober he still makes for quite a catch, and you don't hear me complaining, now do you?"
"Ah...right," Nabiki decided to venture the question from a different tact, "How...er...exactly did you two meet?"
"Well now, Sugar," the Goddess leaned back and smiled, "It was back when I was doing my turn monitoring the Goddess Help Lines...y'all do know about those, do you?"
"Ah...generally, yes," Nabiki admitted, not adding that she knew about one particularly lucky mortal who made a wrong phone call and wound up married to a Goddess named Belldandy.
"Well," Freya resumed, "I was doing some social work when a call came in from this lovelorn lady who worked at a restaurant named the Nekohanten...I'm sure y'all know to whom I happen to be referring..."
"Shampoo?" Nabiki answered.
"Got it in one," Freya nodded, "I granted her a wish, but it necessitated me hanging around Nerima for a spell to see that it all worked out right, and what a fun load of happy times that was...every other day a quest, a challenge or an adventure, it was just like in the old days!"
Nabiki directed the focus of her gaze away from the goddess to the football field where a display of "The Good-Old Days" was being reenacted...and with some of the original cast members! There was battle and mayhem with blood flowing and heavily armored figures slugging it out with whatever weapons they had in hand, much to the entertainment of the cheering throngs that lined the bleachers and considered this sort of thing high entertainment.
And in the middle of it all was her husband, Ranma, fighting side-by-side with Ranko, who was herself having a Grande Old Time of it plying her martial arts techniques to laying out cold some of the upstanding citizens of Jotenheim and Asgard. Nabiki had noted that Ranma was toning down his own part in order to stay close and keep an eye on their adopted daughter, but she doubted very much if he could be pulled away from such "fun" if she slapped a tractor field on the baka.
At least it was only Half-time entertaining, which meant it would theoretically be ending any time now, after which the games would commence once again as the players got down to the less brutal sport of professional Football. The people here certainly seemed to take it as seriously as a war, which-come to think of it-made them seem all that much more like a similar crowd comprised of Midgard-bound mortals.
She turned her attention back towards Freya, not wanting to offend their hostess as she reminisced about events of nearly twenty years back as though they had happened just last week...which in a relative sense was probably how Freya herself viewed the matter.
"Well, anyway," the Goddess drawled fondly, "Hanging around with a young group of such talented martial artists made me a bit conscious of my need to brush up on my own battle skills...after all, it wouldn't do for someone like me to let herself be outclassed by the locals. Well, Tatewaki came upon me while I was working out in a park and immediately challenged me to a duel, saying that the winner could date the loser, which was just the cutest thing for him to say, the little dickens..."
"Uh...right," Nabiki softly murmured.
"Well, seems the boy was a bit better than I'd hoped he'd be on the first few passes, so we got down to it and started rumbling in earnest. Of course when I told him I agreed to his terms it caused him to go momentarily slack, like he hadn't expected me to say that, so he left me an opening and naturally I took advantage, then told him since I'd won that he could have the privilege of dating me," the Goddess giggled like a school-girl, "You should have seen the look on his face! I thought maybe I'd bopped him a little too hard, and y'all know I wouldn't want to be dating damaged goods..."
"You actually agreed to date him after he LOST?" Nabiki said, a little round-
eyed.
"Sure enough, Sugar," Freya grinned, "I'm a Goddess of my word, and besides, y'all know that only Loki can get away with lying since it's in his sphere of influence. Too bad we had to cancel the first date on account of that Groping Dwarf that bears the name of Happosai..." for a moment Freya lost her pleasant demeanor and looked fairly disgusted, "Reminds me of a couple of giants I used to go out with...all hands and thumbs with no sense at all of what it takes to please a lady."
"O-kay," Nabiki charitably refrained from voicing her own views on that subject, "So I take it you went out on another date with Tachi?"
"Yep, sure enough," Freya affirmed, "And the date was going pretty good, only an old friend of mine popped up and made a bit of trouble, so when the police arrived, followed by those obnoxious guys from the MIB-well, the less said about them the better..."
"I didn't hear a word," Nabiki said with a straight face and kept her fingers firmly crossed behind her back.
"Well...eventually we did get shacked up, like I'd originally planned, and then I gave Tatewaki a taste of my 'Blue Thunder,'" Freya grinned in obvious savor, "Took the poor boy a while to come back down to Midgard, but after that we were pretty much an item, and soon he went and popped the question..."
"But..." Nabiki hesitated again, "What about his...eccentricities?" she considered that word more diplomatic than outright calling Tatewaki Kuno a certifiable nut case.
"What d'y'all mean, Sugar?" Freya asked in genuine curiosity.
"Ah...forgive me for saying this," Nabiki replied, "But the Kuno I knew in my youth was boastful, arrogant, conceited, prideful..."
"Honey," Freya chuckled, "You just described about half the people currently attending this arena! Fact is that's why I found him so darned charming and attractive from the beginning...he reminded me of all the great heroes-both Mortals and Gods-who I've gone out with in my time, with the sole exception of my ex-husband...and the less said about that wandering loon the better."
"Hmmm," Nabiki thought it over, "I guess when you put it that way..."
"Tatty's been a good husband and a fine father to our Lyn Reikou," Freya grinned with obvious savor, "About the only thing we couldn't completely agree with was what to name her...I wanted Lyn, he wanted Reikou, and since they both mean 'Lightning...'"
"Ah yes," Nabiki noted, "She is a bit...fast, isn't she?"
"Fleet of foot and twice as sexy," Freya smiled, "I'm damned proud of that girl and the way she's turning out. Of course she's only an Apprentice First Level, hasn't even qualified yet for her full Goddess rating, but there's time, and give her a century or so she'll likely blossom out into a real star of the Asgardian circuit. Meanwhile I make sure to raise her in both the Mortal and Immortal worlds, just so's she keeps one foot firmly planted in both spheres. I also share parenting duties with Tatty, who dotes on our little girl so much that you'd think she was a little Samurai Princess."
"I guess...Kuno-chan must have matured, like you said," Nabiki noted, "She is a fine girl, and I can see why you're so proud of her."
"Tatewaki and I have made sure she grows up knowing that she's well loved," the Goddess abruptly sobered, "You know about their family history, don't you? How their mother went crazy and killed herself after years of abusing Tatty and his sister?"
"That happened here too, huh?" Nabiki somberly noted.
"Uh-huh," Freya nodded, "Lotta things are common between our worlds...about the only real point of divergence comes around the time when Shampoo made that wish and formed our contract. Other than that things were pretty much headed in the same general direction as the tragedy that you remember, only thanks in no small part to my efforts that tragedy was averted, and now everybody lives happy as peas in their pods with most stuff having worked out for the better."
"Oh?" Nabiki asked with mild suspicion, "Exactly how did you manage to help Shampoo out anyway?"
"Well, actually it was relatively simple," Freya replied, "I did a little research, some surveillance work and a little old-fashioned observation and guesswork to determine that the Saotome boy was up to his neck in problems, at least half of which was caused by his father. There was no way he could pick just one of his fianc es without causing the others to suffer, and since Shampoo's wish specifically wanted everyone to be happy with the arrangement of her being married to Ranma, the obvious answer I came up with was to have him wed all three of his primary fiancees."
"Say what?" Nabiki stared round-eyed, "You mean Ranma-kun...?"
"Married Shampoo, Ukyo and your sister, Akane," Freya gave the Lore Master an apologetic nod, "Sorry, Sugar...you weren't a part of that action. Instead you wound up getting tight with a boy by the name of Kenzan Konatsu."
"Konatsu," Nabiki replied with almost no expression on her lovely face, "Riiight..."
"Don't scoff, Sugar," Freya chided, "You were feeling a bit down and lonely at the time that you paid that visit to the 'Sexy Girl Teashop,' and it didn't take you too long to figure out that the 'cute girl Ninja' there was being cruelly exploited by her step-sisters and step-mother. You got him out of there and set him up in the dojo...at least for a time you made him into your subordinate and used him to gather information, but when you found out he was really a boy dressed up to look like a girl as a part of his training..."
"I hope you won't take offence with me saying this," Nabiki said, "But I am having a little trouble swallowing this concept."
"Hey, you yourself said stranger things have happened, Honey," Freya winked, "Take the 'Fiancee Brigade,' which I helped to set up, and when your sister shagged up with Kodachi..."
"SAY WHAT?" Nabiki's outburst drew the attention of a party of Orcs who were enjoying half time and who glared resentfully at the human female until Freya gave them a warning nod, at which point they took interest in the game and never so much as thought twice about it.
"Excuse me," Sayo spoke up suddenly, "But...I don't understand...this is all so confusing. How can father be married to three other women when he was supposed to be married to my mother...?"
"Ah...yes...I've been meaning to get around to that," Nabiki said with a sheepish expression, then she looked at the Goddess once again and said, "Kasumi and KODACHI?"
"Now Sugar," Freya chided, "Be kind to your niece, she still just getting used to the idea about there being a multitude of parallel worlds. Y'see, Hon, there's not just one world full of possibilities, there's a whole vast infinity full of nearly-infinite potential. In one universe a boy named Saotome Ranma married a lovely lady by the name of Kasumi, who happens to be a very good friend of mine in the world that I'm a part of. However...in that world Saotome Ranma married three lovely gals who loved him back and had a passel of children, the oldest being Helmet, who is slated to be the new Queen of the Amazons just like her great-great grandmother, Cologne, always wanted for a member of my bloodline...see what I'm saying?"
"No," Sayo admitted with innocent incomprehension.
Freya heaved a sigh and turned to Nabiki, "Looks like this one's up to you, Darlin'."
"Right," Nabiki turned to study the face of the lovely girl Samurai and sought for the best way of putting into words the metaphysical situation that allowed for alternate Universes to co-exist, and as she did so she had a fleeting sensation of what her mentor must have gone through so long ago when Nabiki had studied at the feet of Mentor. Small wonder Lotion had seemed so amused half the time with the way her apprentice stumbled around grasping these concepts...
"I want you to picture a road stretching out in both directions," Nabiki began as she sensed and formed the words that would best convey her meaning, "That road is the path of your destiny...it stretches out from the time of your birth until the day you die, and everything that happens upon that road is your life, however it meanders, winds, turns and diverges at key points. Are you with me so far, Dear?"
"Yes Auntie," Sayo nodded with such a clarity in her expression that it briefly brought a lump to Nabiki, who was powerfully reminded of her much beloved older sister.
"Now," Nabiki said, "As far as you can tell there is only the one road that you are walking, and you can only go forward on that road, never backwards, never retracing your steps into the past. What lies ahead has yet to be, and what is past remains in the past forever. Each step you take on that road brings you closer to your destiny, and all that passes around you is the world in which you are living. You can see key points of your life like a silent observer taking notice of your surroundings and recalling past experiences and visions. At one point you see yourself as a child studying Kendo, and at a later point you become a young woman and achieve your title as heir to the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. Somewhere down the line you encounter a boy named Hiroshi..." Nabiki smiled, seeing the younger girl color about her cheeks and look elsewhere, even as Hiroshi himself tried to pretend that he wasn't listening raptly to everything that he overheard. She decided then and there that she genuinely like this boy, and hoped that he would prove to be a good match for the gentle-mannered Sayo.
"At a further point down the road," Nabiki continued, "You find yourself coming to a crossroads where there is more than one path that can be chosen. You select one path and it takes you to a future where you are married with a husband and are having his children. In that life you are happy and fulfilled, but what if you chose the other path, the one that does not lead to such a happy outcome?"
Sayo had been blushing furiously at the mention of a husband and children, but now she looked up with renewed concern and said, "What do you mean, Auntie?"
"Suppose...just to be hypothetical about it," Nabiki urged with a raised finger, "Suppose you went down a path in which there is not a happy future but rather a path strewn with blood, death and violence. On that road you find sorrow, loss and bereavement, and you regret having chosen this path instead of the one that had a better outcome."
"But...how would I know about the other path if I didn't take it?" Sayo wondered.
Nabiki arched an eyebrow, "An excellent question, how would you know in advance which of the two paths was the correct one and which would bring you sorrow? In truth we don't really know the outcome of our choices when we make them, though we often have hints and intuitive flashes, and sometimes our future selves send mental warnings our way that causes us to choose differently than what we would have done without prior warning. Now...suppose instead of there being only one road there were several moving side-by-side next to one another, paths that we might have taken but which are invisible to our eyes, obscured by the landscape and leading off to places we cannot imagine."
"I suppose you would need a map to help sort things out," Sayo said thoughtfully, "One that had notations to let you know where there were obstacles and hazards."
Nabiki paused to take a serious look at this soft-spoken younger girl. Sayo had definitely inherited Kasumi's talent for understatement, not to mention her older sister's penchant for making astute observations about things that hardly anyone else would even consider.
"Ah...right," Nabiki lamely amended, "A map would be good, if we knew where to find one that had the requisite information."
"Oh," Sayo replied, "I see your point. Then I guess we'll never known about those other outcomes."
"Not necessarily," Nabiki cautioned, "Ranma and I are currently in the business of exploring the various worlds and possibilities that lay on worlds next to the world where we were born. To be more specific, we help patrol the time corridors to see that only a minimum amount of disruption of the timefield is allowed for. In that capacity we've been able to visit worlds where history was very different for other versions of ourselves who lived different lives and made many different choices. You see...in each world there is a copy of the people and places you know...just slightly different in some aspect, and the further sideways in time that you go the greater will be the divergence."
"I think I know what you're saying, Saotome-san," Hiroshi spoke up, "My mother came from another world very different from the Earth in that the people who lived there constitute a Demonic race called the Dark Ones. I'm...kind of a rare example of a human/dark-one mating, only I'm supposed to have some kind of big destiny to help unite our worlds in a future of meaningful peaceful coexistence..."
"I can vouch for that," Freya smiled, "You definitely got the look of a young man with an eventful future, though only the Norns can say for sure if you'll be successful in uniting both human and Dark races. Better not be too outspoken in voicing this, though...not a few types here might take unkindly to such talk, and you know how some people feel about 'Miscegenation...'"
"Quite," Nabiki replied, "Ranma's had more than his share of taunting growing up on account of his Gaijin looks, and those blue eyes of his definitely make him seem Oi to some racially minded Japanese people."
Sayo blinked her own lovely blue eyes but said nothing.
"Let me tell you something about your father," Nabiki re-addressed herself to the young Samurai girl, "I've known him most of my life, and what I don't know about his past isn't worth repeating. We met when I was seventeen and he was about a year younger, only at the time I had no idea what a wild ride it would be having him live in the same house. I found him arrogant, prideful, lacking in basic manners, crude of speech and often as witless as a Kuno with nothing more than his martial arts skills and a rude, unpolished nobility to distinguish him from other boys in his age group. To put it mildly, I was instantly fascinated."
"So, Sugar," Freya drawled, "Guess that type O' boy does appeal to y'all after all, eh?"
"Well..." for some damnable reason Nabiki found her cheeks flushing as a silly smile forced its way onto her lips, "At the time I didn't know what to make of him, so I fumbled away a perfect opportunity to get to know him better. His Dad and mine had engaged one of us to marry Ranma almost from the time of our birth, all in order to unite our two schools of martial arts into one dojo. It could have been me who got engaged to Ranma...it could have been your mother, Kasumi...but instead the two of us declined the honor and made the horrible mistake of passing the buck to our younger sister, Akane.
"To say the least it was a disaster from the get-go," Nabiki sighed, "A path, once taken, that should have been avoided, but I couldn't see that at the time, much though I wonder how I could have failed to...to recognize why it could never work between Ranma and my younger sister. Akane just lacked the temperament and maturity to know how to handle being engaged to a boy who was in so many ways like, yet so utterly lacking in tact, diplomacy and a basic survival instinct. If things had been different, or if they had just waited a few more years before they made it official, the marriage might have worked out and led to a happy outcome. Instead...instead the marriage faltered right from the beginning with Akane setting a pattern of abuse on their wedding night...and poor Ranma-kun..."
For a moment she could not continue, unexpected emotions welling up from within her, causing Nabiki to shut her eyes tightly and take several moments to calm herself before she could force herself to continue.
"Well...that was one world...one possibility, one future that should never have been taken," Nabiki turned to regard an astonished Sayo with unvoiced emotion in her eyes before she continued, "But in another world, I am happy to see, Ranma choose to marry Kasumi, and even if the result wasn't perfect it at least produced a daughter as beautiful as you. There are a lot of different choices that we make every day that have the sum total cumulative effect of shaping our future, and who knows at what point the path your parents took went one way and not another?"
"You are saying...that the man I have just met...is not really my father?" Sayo murmured.
"No," Nabiki shook her head adamantly, "He's your father, there is absolutely no doubt of that in my mind. I see a lot of him in you, balanced out by my dear, dear sister..." she took a moment to draw in a ragged breath then spoke once again, "I loved Kasumi dearly...she was like a mother to me growing up, the only person in whom I thought I could confide. It was only after years of knowing Ranma that I came to understand that your father was a person whom I could trust as both a friend and a companion. He most definitely is your father...never doubt that. It's just...he's what your father might have turned into had he chosen to marry Akane instead of my Oneechan..."
"And you love him, Auntie?" Sayo asked.
"Yes," Nabiki all but whispered the word, "With all my heart...though I won't say it aloud to anyone but you, dear. Ranma knows my feelings and returns them with interest, and I know he is devoted to me...just as he has been for the last twenty years since my father engaged us together."
"But...if he was married to your sister..." Sayo hesitated to say it, seeing the pain return to her Aunt's somber expression.
"What you're telling me is that I made the right decision all along," Freya softly pointed out, "Your sister needed someone in the marriage who could keep her from getting out of line, to balance out her dark elements and help her to get in touch with her hidden bisexual nature. Guess that's why the Saotome clan turned out to be such a happy-go-lucky venture, though that Ranko girl certainly puts me in mind of at least one or two of their kids, the cute little dickens."
"Ah yes...Ranko," Nabiki sighed, "Akane's daughter by Ranma...the one good thing that came out of at least one parallel world where their marriage ended badly. We've adopted her as our own, you see, and now she's studying to become a member of the Time Patrol to put her rather...unique talents to a good use. You can be very proud of your half-sister, Sayo-chan, she's a worthy daughter to the Houses of Saotome and Tendo, just as I suspect you will prove to be in good order."
"Ah..." Sayo began to say as thoughts turned to the bright and spirited redhead she had met only a short while before, but even as she was about to ask a question in that regard the redhead in question came trotting up alongside a very pleased-with-himself looking Ranma.
"So," Nabiki remarked as she sobered up and turned a neutral regard to her husband and niece-turned-daughter, "Who won the fight, or need I bother asking?'
"We did, Mom!" Ranko cheerfully waved a flag that she had been clutching with both of her hands, "See? They even awarded us the banner! We kicked Saxon Butt but good back there!"
"It was mostly the Kid's doing, honest," Ranma assured Nabiki with such a patently false look of innocence in his eyes that she was instantly suspicious, but chose not to openly challenge him on the subject, "You're a real chip off the old wood-block, Squirt, even Pop would have been impressed..." there was a brief shadow about his eyes, but it passed as swiftly as it had appeared there.
"Y'all have fun yourself, Lyn?" Freya asked as her daughter all but materialized alongside Ranko.
"You bet, Mother!" Lyn Reikou cheerfully replied as she turned to Ranko and said, "You've got some killer moves! Even Helmet never fought like that and she's the best in Nerima, or so she keeps on telling everybody."
"Hey, I've had some good teachers," Ranko grinned back at the other girl before fetching Sayo a wry look and adding, "We could have used you out there, Sis. I'll bet you could show these guys a thing or two about sword play."
"Ah...well..." Sayo said demurely, "Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu isn't supposed to be used for sport, it's purpose is the defense of those who are unable to fight for themselves..."
"Damned straight it is," Ranma nodded, "You stick to your guns, Kids, and do the things you're best at. Don't ever let anybody give you grief and don't apologize for who and what you are. You're Saotomes, and that means you're better than some common thug who ain't got nothing better to do than to bother other folks who are minding their own business...no offense to you and your husband, lady."
"Why Sugar," Freya smiled back, "What in the Nine words do me and Tatty have to be offended about? What you're sayin' makes perfect sense from where we're sitting."
"If that's true, then Kuno's a better man than I remember," Ranma nodded, "Not to mention a whole lot more lucky. Well...I've had my fun, and if you girls are done gossiping about me, maybe it's time we got down to work before our Boss yanks our chain back into the office."
"Oh my," Freya mused, "Just like a Saotome...thinks the whole Multiverse revolves around him."
"I guess that's why the fates made him a Nexus," Nabiki philosophized, right before her wrist-com began to buzz her, "Ten-ah...Saotome here, go ahead?"
"Boss," said the voice of Ryonami, "I've got new info to update on those timelines we were monitoring. For some reason Continuum 92684713 just stabilized, then a divergence occurred and we got a multi-signature warp indicating that a party of residents were transported away to some new coordinates, 85249731."
"Have they now?" Nabiki murmured softly, "I wonder what's going down in that particular sector?"
"I don't know, Boss, but a continuum very close to it also had a brief Multi-
signature visitation...86741253. It lasted about twenty-two-point-six minute and then the same group warped out with a few additional members to continuum 74968231."
"Hey," Ranma said, "Call me crazy but didn't those last two coordinates sound awfully familiar?"
"I follow you, Ranma-kun," Nabiki said with a serious expression, "It could be significant, or it cold mean nothing. Look in on it, would you, Ryo-chan? And give us an intercept vector on that party that's skipping through the timelines."
"Which ones?" Ryonami asked, "I've got at least two or three groups of multi-
party Bogeys tripping around on non-parallel courses and I haven't yet been able to establish a pattern or reason. What I can say is that whoever is doing this is pretty damned powerful and good at covering his or her tracks. Even the Gods could learn a thing or two from this guy, but I'm pretty damned certain that whatever it is they're planning will probably be coming together real soon, so if I were you guys I'd be-HEY! Boss! I've got an incoming on your coordinates!"
"What?" Nabiki blinked, "Another crossover here?"
"It just popped up on my monitors," Ryonami reported, "And whatever it is, it's BIG, damned big! It's going to make a warp signature in another five, four, three, two, one..."
There was a shimmering effect on the playing field even as the opposing teams squared off for the kick-off of the new quarter. The Asgardian place-kicker had already sent the ball rocketing towards the Giants team when a huge form shimmered into existence directly in its path and deflected the pig-skin off onto the sidelines.
"What in the name of Y'mir's Bobby stockings?" Freya stood up in her seat, as did many others around her on both sides of the playing field.
"Hooboy," Ranko craned her neck as she stared up and UP at the towering figure.
"I don't believe it," Ranma softly whispered.
One of the giants sitting near to them was heard to rumble, "Now that's Big...I mean... REALLY big, as in Bigger than my Uncle Offskins..."
"A giant robot?" Hiroshi gasped, "Here?"
"Oh my," Sayo remarked, "It looks like a suit of armor."
Nabiki stared blankly at the hulking humanoid figure standing well over thirty meters tall, then spoke into her wrist-com and said, "Ryonami-chan..."
"Hey, don't look at me, Boss," came the reply of her subordinate, "Why do you think I never went out on a date with a Saotome...?
Continuum # 85249731
Roll Call:
Wanda Kenshiro -Daughter of Ranma and Aili, Fist of the Northstar Ryoma Saotome -Son/Daughter of Ranma and Ukyo, Heir to the Anything Goes Ryu Carmine Hitomabori -Daughter of Mosquiton and Inaho, 1/8th Vampyr Efreet Mitsuhara -Adopted daughter of Makoto and Ifurita, Demon-Goddess Tachi Kuno -Son of Tatewaki and Nabiki, Master of Nampo Tarot Kenzan -Daughter of Konatsu and Shampoo, Apprentice Witch/Magus Minos Taro -Son of Pantsaru and Kasumi, Shotokan expert
"Okay," Carmine said with an exaggerated sigh, "Want to run that one by me again?"
"It's like I said," Ryoma replied without turning around to meet the gaze of the redhead, who now stood fairly even with her in height, "I have this...unusual metabolism...it's something I was born with, really. I turn into a girl whenever I get splashed with cold water."
"You mean it's a curse?" Carmine asked.
"Ah...well..." Ryoma shrugged, "I wouldn't really call it that, but it is caused by magic, and I inherited it from my father."
"Your father," Carmine repeated.
"Saotome Ranma," Ryoma finally turned to give an almost timid look in Carmine's direction, then she flinched and looked elsewhere.
"And your father...?" Carmine prodded.
"He also has this same ability," Ryoma replied, "Only he does think of it as a curse. I guess that's 'cause he never asked for it and blames it on Gramps for dunking him in that Chinese spring, Nyanniichuan."
"You got this from a cursed spring?" Carmine wondered.
"Jusenkyo," Ryoma replied, "It's called..."
"The Pools of Sorrow," Carmine finished for her, "Yeah, I speak Chinese, remember? I think I've heard of the place...it's supposed to be a legend..."
"Oh it's real, believe me on that," Ryoma rolled her eyes, "And because of it I've got a dual identity...half the time I'm a girl, the other half I'm that hunky guy you saw before. Weird, huh?"
"And which are you really?" Carmine wondered.
"To tell you the truth, I don't absolutely know," Ryoma's shoulders slumped, "To me it's a perfectly natural thing being both a girl and a guy...but if I had to guess, I'd say that the Boy-type is my natural form. After all that's how it is with Pop. He was born a man and cursed to turn into a girl. Personally I don't give a damn either way, I'm who I am and that's all that matters...or I used to think so..."
"You used to think so?" Carmine again repeated.
"Yeah," Ryoma sighed, "When I was just a kid I always thought it was neat that I could change my form and disguise myself to get out of whatever kind of trouble I'd sometimes get myself into, and Pop's got this thing against punishing girls, so you can imagine the stuff I could get away with. Not with Mom, though...she's the really strict one. She cracks the spatula anytime I get out of line and tans my bottom but good. If I've learned to be even half the martial artist I am today it was mostly so I could defend myself and avoid a spanking. Lucky for me Pop usually runs interference...Mom can never say no to him when he asks her nicely to talk things over in private."
"Sounds like you were a real brat growing up," Carmine noted, feeling her lips twitch with the urge to smile, which she fought down with some effort.
"Guess I was, but hey, that's life with my parents," Ryoma sniffed, "Thought things would be like that forever, guess I never counted on growing up and letting puberty hit me in the face with both barrels."
"You mean when you...ah..." Carmine felt her cheeks flush crimson.
"When I hit puberty and started growing boobs you mean?" Ryoma gave the Vampyr a sidelong look, then deliberately cupped the area of her shirt directly beneath the swelling bulge that denoted her currently feminine status, "What can I say? I've got good genetics. Of course when guys started noticing it felt a little...weird...but then girls started noticing me too, and when my Guy side started to get tall and lanky...well, I dunno what to say about that. It really started to feel weird when Tarot and Ivory started coming onto me and getting into fights together, like I was something to fight over. I mean...it's flattering and all, and they're nice, and I like them a lot, but...well...we grew up together...they're almost like my sisters."
She murmured the latter part with a nervous glance in Tarot's direction. Fortunately the blue haired girl was standing off by herself and conferring in private with Tachi and Efreet while Wanda and Minos hung around off in the background.
"And then..." Ryoma began to say, then paused before resuming, "There are the other girls who sometimes get interested in me, only they find out about what I turn into and...well...some of them get pretty freaked out and avoid me. Before too long everybody on our campus is acting weird whenever I'm around and I can't even approach a girl without seeing the look in their eyes, which tells me that they've been listening to the rumors."
"What rumors?" Carmine wondered.
"Ah...well..." Ryoga hesitated, "Never mind, okay? They're just not true, so leave it at that."
"So..." Carmine began to say, hesitating herself before going on, "Do you...like girls?"
"Ah...well," Ryoga scratched at her pig-tail and said sheepishly, "If you want the honest truth...I do. That thing I just said about Tarot and the other girls? Well...I ain't as dense as a brick that I don't notice that they're stacked and real lookers. I feel pretty much the same way in either of my two forms, but people look at me weird when I tell them that, like they think I'm a lesbian or something..."
"Well..." again Carmine hesitated before resuming, "Technically...you are..."
"But only half the time," Ryoma responded, "The rest of the time I'm straight Hetero...though Tachi likes to tease me and say I just haven't met the right guy yet."
"And...what do you feel about your friend, Tachi?" Carmine wondered.
"Tachi?" Ryoma replied, "He's my best friend, and we've definitely been through a lot together, but I don't look at him that way, and he knows it. Besides..." Ryoma added slyly, "I think he's coming on with that smooth charm of his onto your best buddy."
"Eh?" Carmine turned to follow the other girl's gaze and saw the way her companion was standing rather conspicuously near to the boy, Tachi, when ordinarily Efreet would be hovering at Carmine's side like a refrigerator magnet...and in all truth to tell she did not know exactly what to make of the matter, and why she was feeling a curious territorial inclination towards Efreet, who certainly knew better than anyone how to handle herself in most situations.
"Look," Ryoma forced herself to turn around and confront Carmine, compelling the young Vampyr to return her focus in her direction, "You don't have to say nothing if you're a little freaked about me being like this. I'm used to people giving me funny looks when they find out..."
"Who says I'm freaked?" Carmine reacted, "I was...just a little surprised is all. I didn't know you were a switch hitter."
"Ah?" Ryoma hesitated once again before daring to sound a tiny bit hopeful, "Then you're not mad at me for fooling you or stuff like that? I never meant to give anybody the wrong impression about me..."
"Look," Carmine forced herself to address the other girl squarely, "Weird to me isn't you turning into a girl when you get wet...weird for me has a WHOLE different connotation, like you couldn't imagine!"
"Say what?" it was Ryoma's turn to look confused.
"Weird for me," Carmine continued, "Is guys who turn into big and ugly monsters with longs of fangs and teeth and who really do want to eat you. My folks are Archeologists, you see, and they've...taken me to some pretty weird places in their travels collecting antiques. You obviously already know about magic and the supernatural, well try having Ghosts and Demons pop up on a regular basis, and my two best friends growing up were a pair of elementals. That and the fact that my Dad can get a little scary if he takes a hip out of Mom and...well...never mind about that stuff, okay?"
"Ah...sure," Ryoma inclined her head and allowed herself to really and truly study the face of the other girl, paying closer attention to the odd little things that looked out of place about her, such as her pointed ears and pronounced canines, and her crimson eyes that looked somehow almost...predatory. Then again there was her unusually pale complexion, like she was either anemic or an albino, and it all added up to a girl who was a real mystery, and one he found very intriguing.
For her part Carmine could not help staring back at the beautiful girl who had been a boy earlier in the day, a boy whose tone and manner reeked of such confident swagger that she could hardly have expected him to have dark skeletons in his closet, even though that was the pattern of her life, always discovering that what looked to be too perfect usually wasn't. Ryoma's hair had a reddish-
auburn cast that was distinctively different from his chestnut-brown hair as a boy, and those impressive blue eyes stood out even more noticeably from the softer lines of a fully feminine face, not quite the same as the rugged handsomeness of Ryoma's Bishonen male form, but definitely no less charismatic.
"Er..." Ryoma broke the long silence that hung between them, "Mind if I ask a personal question?"
"Huh?" Carmine replied, then shook herself and said, "Ah...go ahead..."
"What's the deal between you and Efreet?" Ryoma asked, "You say she's an Android...but she's also your best friend?"
"Er...well..." Carmine said sheepishly, "Like I said, my parents are Archeologists, and we travel a lot. Well...one day my folks paid a visit to a Professor Mitsuhara at Nekomi-Tec University where I met up with Efreet and...well...somehow we wound up all going on an adventure together...it was one of those really weird days when stuff you wouldn't believe just...happens..."
"Oh...yeah..." Ryoma smiled lopsidedly, "I've...sort of had days like that myself..."
"Anyway," Carmine sighed, "To make a long saga into a short tell, I found out about Efreet's nature when she...sort-of started to run out of juice and needed a wind-up. I was able to get her going again...which was kind of returning the favor for me...well, anyway, before I knew it Efreet was acting real nice to me and doing me all kinds of favors, then she asked if I wanted to be her Master..."
"Say what?" Ryoma arched an eyebrow.
"Yeah, that's pretty much what I said," Carmine resumed, "Well, it turns out that she's from an ancient land called El Hazard where they once had super-
advanced technology, only most of it got blown away in a war that reduced civilization to the late bronze age. The Demon Gods were among the ultimate super-weapons created by the Ancients in order to exterminate one another, and Efreet was a prototype for a whole new model just before the civilization that created her ended. Whoever built her only had enough time to load a partial program into her operating software, the rest of her is a blank slate tabla rasa upon which her current personality was written. She was discovered sleeping in a tomb by her parents, who adopted and raised her as their own, teaching her all that they could about what it means to be human. That's why she acts so human most of the time...it's just that she's...a little na ve about some things. It's like there's this little girl inside her whose crying out to become a fully adult woman, and I guess she's been looking to me the last couple of years in hopes that I'll set a few good examples."
"So you're kind of like her role model," Ryoma smiled, "Guess that makes you her personal idol."
"You think so?" Carmine blinked, then glanced to the side as the person in question was limping slightly as she approached, leaning on her staff for more support than usual.
"Carmine?" Efreet asked, her feet now firmly planted on solid ground, "Are you busy? I'm feeling tired. I think I need to have my spring wound again, if it really isn't too much trouble?"
"Ah..." Carmine was aware of the looks the others were turning her way and felt her cheeks color again, but a sudden inspiration came upon her right there and then and she said, "Why don't you ask Tachi-san to help you? I'm sure he wouldn't mind helping you out."
"Eh?" the boy so designated looked taken aback by the question.
"Really?" Efreet asked, "You wouldn't really mind?"
"Honey," Carmine touched Efreet's arm affectionately, "You're a big enough girl now...I think you can stand to have your spring get wound by somebody else who likes you. Don't worry, I'll give him a few pointers."
"GAH!" Kuno Tachi was suddenly looking panicked, but before he could turn to flee he found himself being cornered by Ryoma.
"What's the matter, Lover-boy?" Ryoma teased, "You going shy on us all of a sudden?"
"No, what ever put that perverted thought into your head?" Tachi protested a bit too loudly, "It's just that...well...we hardly know each other...and it just wouldn't be proper..."
"Nonsense," Carmine grinned, showing off her fangs in a way that did seem predatory, "It's as easy as clockwork...see?" she went around behind Efreet and lifted the back part of the other girl's outfit, exposing a round socket-like slot in the space where the small of the back would be located on another woman.
"Oh my," Tarot examined Efreet more closely, "She really does have a socket outlet..."
"Do you mind, guys?" Efreet seemed slightly ruffled, "It's really personal, y'know? If you're gonna wind me up, then please don't gawk and make jokes about it."
"Sorry Honey," Carmine apologized as she took Efreet's key-staff from the dark haired girl's hand then placed the business end at the socket and turned to regard Tachi, "You do know how to wind a clock? Just use counter-clockwise motions."
"Hah?" Tachi said as he allowed himself to be led by Ryoma, who placed his hands on the wide part of the giant key then urged him to start turning the handle.
"Everybody stand back," Carmine urged as she followed her own advice, "This tends to generate a lot of excess static."
Tachi began to turn the key-staff, feeling something turn inside the socket in Efreet's back, then to his amazement he felt the hairs along his arms begin to stand on end, and as he wound it a second notch he felt electrical sparks jump over his arms and cause his nape-hairs to stand on end. It was not an unpleasant sensation, though, so he turned it again and found the static level kept on climbing.
"I don't believe it," Tarot remarked, "An android wound up on a spring mechanism?"
"It's her starter system," Carmine replied, "It works on the principle of a fly-
wheel and it keeps her systems internally balanced. Her actual power source is fusion based, but when she's been engaging in some heavy activity her control systems work in overdrive, which is why she needs to have her spring wound up again."
"Why in the hell would anybody design her like that?" Ryoma wondered.
"Obviously to control her," Carmine replied with a hint of mild anger, "Her creators had a justifiable fear that their Demon Gods would run amuck and destroy all civilization, so they deliberately engineered a design flaw that would cause them to run out of juice if they saw continuous operation. If Efreet's spring winds down all of the way she goes dormant, sort of like taking a nap and her systems shut down, like a deep hibernation. The longer she fights the sooner her spring winds, and because of a latent program directive build into her operating software she's obligated to the holder of the Key Staff and must do his bidding...though that program was later amended."
"Say what?" Tachi called out even as sparks were jumping from his arms and striking the ground in all directions.
"Fascinating," Wanda remarked, "So much power contained in such a human vessel, and yet she has vulnerabilities to dilute her fearsome menace."
"She's something else all right," Minos agreed, not bothering to add that the Android clearly had the power to fascinate the otherwise unflappable Kuno Tachi.
The electrical sparks were now surrounding the amazed young Nampo master, but Tachi continued to wind until he heard a slight beeping sound, at which point Carmine called out, "Okay, Hot-shot, that's enough! You don't want to overdo it. How are you feeling, Efreet-Honey?"
As the sparks faded from around her body, Efreet yawned and stretched the said, "Great! I really needed that a lot! Thanks, Tachi!"
"Er...don't mention it," Tachi said as he withdrew the key from the slot, then handed the staff to the smiling Android.
"You know...I've been meaning to say this, but you're cute," Efreet gave him a big-eyed fond stare that left the other boy feeling steamed around the collar, "Do you want to be my new Master?"
"Say...what?" Tachi squeaked as took a stunned half step backwards.
"Just kidding," Efreet chuckled musically, "My parents insist that I'm much too young to be looking for a Master, and besides...I'd rather stay with Carmine for now...do you mind?"
"Huh?" Tachi's brain was obviously going into overload and looked ready to fuse into a lump of clay at any moment. It didn't help is already fragile equilibrium when the beautiful Android girl stood up on tip-toes and planted a kiss on his cheek before saying, "Anytime you want to wind my spring up for real, just say the word...Master."
She then pleasantly turned and floated over to Carmine's side, hovering near to her friend's ear before murmuring a soft, "Thanks...I owe you for that one big time, Carmine-sama."
"Don't mention it," Carmine's fangs were in evidence as she grinned wolfishly at the stupefied boy staring blankly out into space, "From where I stand it looks like the need was mutual."
"Hello?" Ryoma leaned forward, "Earth to Tachi? Come in Tachi, are you in there?"
The guy-turned-girl playfully patted her best friend between the shoulder blades, meaning to jolt the young Kuno out of his dazed condition, but to their collective amazement Tachi collapsed like a statue, landing face-first in the dirt. Ryoma blinked her eyes in amazement until Tarot made the official pronouncement, "Well, what do you know? Don Juan here just fainted."
"Tachi-sama?" Efreet was instantly concerned, hovering over the unconscious boy and probing him with a hesitant finger, "Hey, you okay? You didn't get shocked or anything bad like that, did you?"
"Naw, he'll be all right," Minos grinned in obvious relish, "Serves him right, the stuffed shirt. First time I ever saw a frail turn the tables on our campus Romeo."
"If the guys back at our school could only see this..." Ryoma agreed, then slapped herself, "Doh! If I only had a camera!"
"Poetic justice," Tarot agreed.
"A real man among men it seems," Wanda slowly nodded.
"Efreet," Carmine smiled as new inspiration hit her, "I think the poor boy needs to go for a swim. Why don't you take him down to the river and help cool him off, okay?"
"Okay," Efreet smiled and casually grabbed a hold of the boy beneath her with both hands and lifting him easily into her arms, then floating off in the direction of the nearby clear lake with as much ease as a mother doing the same thing with her infant baby.
"Those two are gonna make one heck of a couple," Minos shook his head, "Only problem is she's probably AC and he's Direct Current."
"Shocking," Ryoma slowly nodded.
"I almost feel sorry for poor Tachi," Tarot smiled, "Almost."
"You are certain that your friend is sufficiently knowledgeable in first-aid that she can revive a victim of shock?" Wanda asked aloud.
"Well," Carmine smiled, "A part of the raw information that was part of her download is a working knowledge of human anatomy, so I'm pretty sure she can see to it he doesn't drown, why?"
"Oh...just a hunch I had," Wanda mused, "I think I will also explore this phenomenon of naturally occurring clear water. We don't have such things back on my world, and water is too precious to be put to purposes such as bathing."
"You're kidding?" Minos blinked, "You sure don't smell like you haven't bathed recently, Babe."
"I routinely cleanse my body with sand and meditation," Wanda replied, "But I admit to being curious as how they did such things before the Wasting."
"Then by all means do try it," Tarot urged, turning a wry look towards Ryoma and Carmine, "Why don't we all take the plunge together and clean ourselves up from the dust we accumulated on that other world? I, for one, do not intend to smell badly, and my skin is far too sensitive to abrasions to even think of using sand as a cleansing agent."
"Well..." Ryoma started to say.
"Oh, don't be such a stick-in-the-mud, Ryo-chan," Tarot smiled as she took the other girl by the arm and drew her forward, "You're already a girl, so what have you to worry about, that others might see you? Surely you won't mind showing off your body...the Kami know you've never been too shy about it in the past."
"Hey!" Carmine suddenly found her own hackles were rising as she took off after the other two girls, not knowing quite why she felt this odd urge to protect Ryoma from the suspiciously predatory behavior of the blue haired Witch-girl.
Minos paused to watch them pass then shook his head and said, "Long as it's not my sister, I don't wanna get involved..."
"How do you mean?" Wanda asked.
"As long as I've known Ryoma-guy or girl-she tends to draw trouble to her like a magnet," Minos growled, "Which is why Belldandy's too good for a creep like that."
"You puzzle me," Wanda admitted, "At times you seem almost angry at her, and yet at other times I sense a feeling of deep affection. Are you friends, enemies or rivals?"
"Huh...depends what time you ask me," Minos harrumphed, turning a look back to the taller woman, "And what about you, lady? You've been staring at everything like a tourist since we got here..."
"This world is such a puzzle to me," Wanda confessed, "I do not sense the lingering decay and death of the world that I was born to. It is a world of lush greenery, of sights that have never greeted my eyes in all of my travels. This is a world where life teems, where possibilities undreamed of in my world..." she paused and said, "I suppose I am being silly. I have never talked so much in my life...I almost feel giddy."
Minos stared at the silver haired giantess, at her almost inhuman beauty that belied the harsh ruggedness of her frame and the many traces of scars that lined her arms and neck and other exposed portions of her body. He was finding it incredible to discover that a woman such as this could exist, so gentle-voiced and melodious one moment, so terrifyingly destructive the next, it was incredible to believe that so many facets could exist in the selfsame person.
"Well then," Wanda surprised him with a note of wry amusement in her eyes, "Perhaps you might care to join me in my bath? I could use a set of hands helping me out in reaching places I find...somewhat awkward to tend to by myself..."
"HHUHHH?" Minos's eyes went round and his jaw nearly hit the ground, "You want me to...to...tooooo...?" and then he promptly fainted.
"Well then," Wanda mused to herself, "That was easier than I thought it would be."
With those words pronounced she casually reached down and picked up the large boy, slinging him over her shoulder as she started off for the nearby lake, where already she could see other parties going about the serious business of stripping down naked.
And from a distance not too far away, nestled among the tree branches, two sets of eyes watched all this take place from between the slits of their masks before one turned to the other and hissed softly, "We must return at once and report this to his Lordship."
His companion silently nodded and then like a pair of shadows they flitted off into the depths of the woodland...
Continued.
Comments/Criticisms/Writers of the Storm: shadowmane
Sinister forces continue to gather about our intrepid (and slightly underaged) heroes as they seek to take a breather from all the action. Be with us next time for: "The Taming of the Crew," or "It's not the Size of your Robot, it's what you do with it that counts!" Be there!
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