The Phantom goes Cockney

by Warner Hedgehog

Previously on Fictionpress, this is a silly parody of Joel Schumacher's Phantom of the Opera film. Inspired by Bill Bailey's cockney intro routine, it mixes Eastenders and the Phantom into one big mess. Dont expect this to be sensible. It's not so much a crossover, it's more of a crash. I will soon attack and attempt to de-error chapters 4 & 5

10. Epilogue

Walford 1990

Once more through the magic of Hollywood, a clever transition takes us from full colour in the Pearly King's lair to an aged Viscount hobbling along, carrying the music box, apparently toward Walford cemetery. Just before he reached the gate he sharply turned and entered a charity shop, where he wordlessly handed the music box to the shop assistant. As he walked out, she looked at it as if she's just been handed a putrid dog turd and chucked it in a bin.

As he went past the cemetery, the Pearly King leaped out from behind the gate, knocked the Viscount's hat off and pegged it down the road. He ran straight into a policeman and consequently got done for disorderly conduct.