Chapter 10 - Discussion

Dai tapped his booted foot impatiently as two cans of coke clattered down the internal structure of an old vending machine after having swallowed a descent note and never returned his change. He was very much tempted to furiously shake the machine until his money came out – as he would have normally done – but was far too tired to bother with it. So when he finally collected the two sugary drinks, he calmly made his way back to where he had left Haruka and Brucephalus along with his helmet.

They were at an auto-garage on the other end of Tokyo, where numerous vehicles ranging from the common car to suspiciously gang-like bikes littered the yard, some still in the process of being fixed while others were completed and awaiting to be picked up by their owners. Along the border of the property were multiple mounds made of dirt, densely packed and marred by tire tracks that lined their curved tops. The whole area smelled of petrol and grease, which would most likely discourage sophisticated individuals to offer up their vehicles for repair, if it were not for the exceptional skill of the shop's mechanics. These were facts Dai was confident about.

On the peak of a dirt-mound closest to the main garage building, Haruka sat next to Dai's black helmet with her knees pulled up to her chest, curling her arms around her shoulders protectively. Seeing her shivering in the early morning chill – especially wearing light shorts meant for bed – Dai abruptly changed his destination and jogged towards the old building.

The architecture of said building was shabby and not at all inviting, with faded walls and dirty windows that barely revealed the clutter inside. The grey stone tiles were old and mouldy, a few having fallen off leaving patches of the internal structure visible. Hanging from the front wall was a dull red board displaying the garage logo – an intricate swirl design with the outline of a skull – and a barely identifiable name, which was most likely that of the business.

When Dai approached the entrance door he made sure to curve around the centre which he knew was being filmed by a security camera; although he doubted he would get into much trouble from trespassing, he preferred to avoid any unwanted confrontations. Dai ran his gloved fingers under the third shelf of a cluttered shoe rack, feeling for the spare key he knew was there. When he found it, he tore it away from the masking tape that held it in place, and swiftly opened the door and went inside. He cringed at the high squeak the door made when it swung shut, but continued on. The interior was just as musky and damp as he remembered it to be, musing that the owner had yet to fix the building's poor ventilation. There was nothing fancy about the décor, aimed solely at practicality and efficiency. However, the obvious mess of dirty laundry, scattered magazines and paperwork gave everything a grungy atmosphere, which could be said to add to the building's character. The main difference from the last time Dai had visited the place was the lack of empty alcohol bottles and unmistakable traces of drug-use. It relieved him to know that the owner was at least clean for the time being.

Dai didn't waste too much time taking in the details of the building and went to search through a cupboard further in, and finally went back out through the same route he took when he found a thick blanket with only a thin layer of dust coating its surface. It was a putrid orange-brown fabric that reminded him of oranges being forgotten for months and only being uncovered when they were but a puddle of mush, but he was never one to care about little things like colour, so he took it anyway – although he failed to fathom why the manufacturers would pick that colour over any other shade from the virtually endless spectrum. He carefully locked the door, replaced the key with the same tape, and promptly went back to the girl that watched him approach curiously.

The man collapsed down next to Haruka with a grunt, pushing one of the cans into her hand before throwing the half opened blanket over them. Haruka nodded thankfully and hastily pulled the thick fabric over her exposed legs, sighing in relief from the welcomed warmth. Once Dai was satisfied with the placement of the blanket, he finally went to click open his own drink.

There was a sudden sshpriff sound as the foam from the can spurted over the top and poured down onto the blanket in a bubbling brown river that looked like the 'lava' from a primary school volcano experiment. "Shit, crap!" Dai hissed, distressed more so at losing some of his drink than the mess he had made. The biker did however have time to congratulate himself for choosing the blanket that would be least missed, and had the most success at camouflaging the stain in its ugliness. "Probably shouldn't have shaken it so much." Dai grumbled as he slurped up what was left at the top of the can.

Dai's bemusement was interrupted by a quiet tinkling laugh from beside him, which he turned to see was Haruka, who had a small smile curving her lips. "What, you laughing at me?" Dai challenged in mock-irritation, masking his relief at hearing the familiar noise.

Haruka shook her head in denial, though her smile didn't fall. To be truthful, Haruka didn't look her best. Her hair was messy from the bike ride, and her face was flushed from crying. Dai had chosen not to bring it up, and had the decency to save Haruka the embarrassment of explaining. Igawa probably would have joked that it was completely out of character of the bikie, but Dai didn't accommodate that thought much.

"Here, give me yours." Dai said as he snatched the unopened can from Haruka's hand, moving it to the side and angling it away from them before flicking the top open, allowing the coke spray to fly into the open air as a pale mist. Once he was sure that they were safe from any more surprise attacks, he returned it to the girl who timidly sipped at the drink.

They sat in content silence for a few minutes, drinking and listening to the strange sounds that made up the general noise of an early city morning. It had been a while since either of them spent time simply breathing and absorbing their surroundings, not thinking of anything and letting themselves savour the simplicity of the moment.

"Where are we...?" Haruka suddenly asked, nervously turning the can around with her fingers.

Dai swept his eyes over the messy yard, musing that it didn't look so different from where their last mission took place. "Ahh, friend of mine owns this place. He's a mechanic, an' a pretty good one, too. Gave me my first bike." Dai began, but scrunched his nose at a memory while he added, "Well, I kinda stole it from him and crashed it, so he told me if I could fix it I could have it." He then directed a triumphant smirk at his company, smugly saying "Which I did, of course."

Haruka hummed quietly, smiling at the man's boyish pride. "What's his name?"

Haruka didn't miss the faint twitch of his jaw when Dai hesitated before answering stiffly. "…Shou." Dai reached behind the girl and picked up his helmet, bringing it in front of him where he spun it on his index finger with practised ease. "A lot of guys used ta' hang out here. We used ta' call this place the 'rat's nest'. We all learned to ride bikes, and usually raced each other over the hills here." He accentuated his point by lightly stamping a foot on the ground. "We also had a few places further away in the countryside, where we'd sometimes go and just mess around. We were all close, I suppose. But, I was still closest to Shou. Him, and his sister..." Dai's voice slowly tapered off, his voice becoming nothing more than a low rumble by the end of the sentence. The helmet dropped into his blanketed lap with a small thud.

Dai suddenly shook his head vigorously, dispelling whatever thoughts had clouded his mind. He used his teeth to peel the gloves from his hands, spitting them to the side and out of the way. Once they were bare, Dai ran his fingers through his thick black hair, ruffling them up in a nervous habit. He had not intended to mention the girl, and desperately tried to replace his focus on something else.

Unfortunately, he chose the wrong topic.

"Have ya' been hurt?" Dai blurted out, straining his narrow eyes on the girl who now looked surprised at the abrupt change the conversation took. "Ya' know, like, are ya' injured? Have you… bled?" Haruka immediately went stiff, averting her gaze back to the ground guiltily. A few loose strands fell forward to obscure her face from the biker's inquisitive eyes, but did nothing to prevent the small signs of anxiety being detected. Dai closely watched her nervous behaviour, slowly piecing bits of information together. "Cuz a while back, the blind bastard and I found some bloody bandages in the trash. We thought someone was injured and didn't think it needed to be shared, so didn't tell anyone 'bout it, ya' know?" Haruka looked more uncomfortable with every uttered word, and Dai became sure who those bandages belonged to. "It was you, right?"

Haruka didn't say anything, but gasped harshly and slapped a hand over her mouth, muffling a broken cry as fresh tears began lining her closed eyes. "…Please don't tell anyone…" She whispered, hiccupping from the sudden rush of emotions.

Dai watched horrified as the girl suppressed her cries, utterly at a loss to what he should do. He awkwardly placed a hand on her shaking shoulder, his other one hovering in the air with no direction to go. "Hey, what're ya' suddenly cryin' for?" He asked, eyes wide and frantic. All he received was a weak shake of the head, so he sighed and leaned in a little closer to the girl, moving his hand to the other shoulder so his arm rested around her small frame. "Alright, fine, I won't tell anyone." He said in what he hoped was a soothing tone. It probably wasn't. "Look, we're just worried 'bout ya', alright?" He felt Haruka nod after a brief pause, so he squeezed her shoulder a little before continuing. "Ya' don't have to, but do ya' think you can show me? I need to make sure it ain't too bad, and you probably won't want anyone else checking, do ya'?" He left out the fact that Mamoru would be utterly useless in helping, seeing as he was blind.

For a very long while nothing happened, though Haruka's crying had calmed down to the occasional snuffle. Finally, the girl slightly pulled away from the man and brought her trembling fingers to her left sleeve and slowly rolled it up her forearm.

Dai's eyes slowly widened until the muscles surrounding them begin to ache from the strain, and he felt a heavy weight pool in his gut, churning like a toxic concoction tearing through the stomach lining, burning the back of his throat with a coating of bile.

Across the length of Haruka's pale skin, rows of cuts ran across horizontally, creating what looked like a gory barcode carved into the arm. They varied in depth and freshness, with some being old and healed over, while a few were barely scabbed and still tender. The patch of skin looked uneven and rough, discoloured and irritated where it brushed against the fabric of her jumper. Most wounds were left bare, but the worst ones had to be taped together to prevent them from splitting open. The image was gruesome and unfitting for the otherwise innocent appearance of the young girl. It was a cruel reminder how what is presented on the surface could be devastatingly deceptive and have fatal consequences.

Nothing could be trusted, and everything had to be questioned.

Dai closed his eyes as he tried to overcome his nausea, breathing deeply to allow oxygen to reach his brain. He was suddenly assaulted by distant memories, the sight before him hitting far too close to home for his liking. When he reopened his eyes, he was met by the same, sad silver from less than an hour ago. No life, only an eternal promise of pain and misery.

To the surprise of both of them, Dai pulled the girl to his broad chest and held her in place, rubbing soothing circles on her back. He didn't know for how long, but he just embraced her wordlessly, providing comfort not only to Haruka, but perhaps himself as well.

After the long moment of silence, he whispered in a hoarse voice that he could barely recognize as his own, "I'm so sorry I didn't notice. I should've realized you were hurting, an' I didn't." Each word was rich with regret, and he realised he had only ever herd that sound leave his mouth on a few other occasions.

Haruka pulled her face away from the leather bike-wear it was pressed against and looked up at the man with weary wonderment. "…You aren't angry…?"

Dai scoffed humourlessly, feeling his gaze glass over. "How could I be angry when you've been fighting on ya' own for god knows how long?" Haruka's eyes widened at his words, and Dai smiled remorsefully down at her, ghosting a finger over an old scar near her elbow. "These aren't a sign of weakness, Haruka. I know they're not. These are ya' battle scars, from the war you're fighting in your head, right?" Haruka was holding her breath, seemingly lost for words. Dai in turn rested his head against hers, closing his eyes so the moisture gathering behind his eyelids couldn't leak out. "Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise, you hear?" He said brokenly, his voice wavering slightly.

"Dai-san…?" Haruka inquired worriedly, not sure how she should react to this new side of the usually tough bikie.

Dai pulled back and released Haruka from his embrace, bringing them back to their previous distance, but still kept his hand resting on her shoulder. "There was someone I knew that was also fightin' a war. A war in her mind, as well as the world she lived in." The biker began, a single tear slipping past his defences.

"Her name was Akiko… an' I loved her."