Monika's perspective
"Everyone, get in the guest room. Now." I whisper.
I can just see a federal agent outside. I'll be surprised if Dominic can keep him outside for any more than 30 seconds. We need to rush.
"What're we gunna do?" Sayori whimpers.
"I… I have a plan. Does anyone have anything we could colour our hair with?"
"I don't think this is the time to have a makeover. Ehehe."
"They won't have any images of us, I made sure of that. They'll be looking for basic descriptions. At least one of us- preferably Yuri or Natsuki, brown hair is relatively common- needs to change hair colour."
"W-Well it's not ideal, but I bought some black nail polish..." Yuri noted.
"Really? When? And with what money? Oh whatever, it'll do the trick. Natsuki, you have the least hair to dye, so maybe it'll be enough. If not, it'll look like a streak of pink."
"WH-" She begins to shout before catching herself.
"I'm not a goth. I'm keeping my hair pink. Besides, nail polish smells awfu-"
While she protested, I'd grabbed the nail polish, and put some on her hair.
"H-Hey! That's not fair!"
"Yeah it's not. Neither is life. You want to have a random black splash in your hair, or would you like me to finish the job"
"F-Fine, I guess."
I hastily dab her hair with it. In the end, you can barely tell it was originally pink. It wouldn't hold up under close scrutiny, but it would have to do.
Suddenly Yuri realises- "Wait… How is he supposed to get away with having four random women in his house?"
Oh dear. I'd hoped this phase of the plan wouldn't need explaining.
"Everyone go into this closet."
They nervously comply.
"Sorry about this."
"Wait wha-" the three girls say simultaneously, only to find their bodies collapsing underneath them.
Monika pulled open her command prompt.
Yuri. chr, Natsuki. chr, and Sayori. chr immobilised successfully.
Excellent. As they were still in Raspberry Pi's, she could disable their nerve connections to their minds temporarily. They were still alive and well, but they had no control over their bodies.
Enact program "Wakey_Wakey_Eggs_and_Bakey" if {voice detection activated term "I'm a goofy goober yeah"}.
Enacted.
I quickly wrote down the words "Say I'm a goofy goober yeah" on a note.
Immobilise Monika. chr
Disabling User is not advised. Are you sure? Y/N
Y
Immediately, I join them in a heap on the floor of his closet.
Dominic's perspective.
Geez, this guy clearly knows they're here. I've managed to delay his searching the place for a few minutes, but he's now quite insistent on checking out the rooms.
As he's searching for quite a large target, he gets through the rooms very quickly. There's only a handful of hiding places large enough for an adult to be hiding away after all. He checks the kitchen, then the living room, then my room, and finally he moves onto the guest bedroom. He checks under the bed. Nothing. He opens up the closet… and the four girls spill out.
He quickly pulls out a gun, before noticing all of them aren't moving.
"Oh… Fucking weeb. Get a real girlfriend, sicko."
Really Monika? This is what you decided would be a good decision? Great, now the government will think I'm in possession of 4 adult female anime-esque life-sized dolls. There is no good reason for that to be the case. At least she had the sense to dye Natsuki's hair so they didn't meet his description, although it smells foul.
He kicks Sayori's head to test for a response. Oof, that was a hard hit, but without autoimmune responses, she doesn't even flinch. Still, that's going to hurt once Monika gets them moving again.
Sufficiently satisfied that they weren't real, he went around the rest of the house. He's clearly frustrated to find his sudden lead hadn't developed into anything major.
"Well then. I guess you're in the clear after all. Sorry for taking up so much of your time."
He stormed out in a foul mood. As soon as I hear the front door slam shut, I run to the guest bedroom.
"Okay, he's out. Please give everyone their mobility back Monika."
I count out 20 seconds. Nothing happens.
Right. Clearly she is not capable of doing so at this time, so she'll doubtless have set up some way for me to externally activate them remotely.
"I don't really know how to activate you guys again. I mean she would've left some kind of a hint, but it might take a while guys. I'm no Holmes."
Wait no she didn't have time to make this a mystery! She probably shoved it into a pocket or something!
"Unless it's actually elementary dear Watson! As someone with "more important things to do", Monika probably left the hint somewhere very accessible. Like perhaps her pockets? And you would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling ki-"
I stop my horrible combination of Sherlock Holmes and Scooby Doo once I find it's not actually in her pockets.
"Huh. I really thought that's where they would be."
I look her up and down, and notice she seemed to have a sheet tucked away in her chest.
"Really Monika? Seriously?"
If I didn't know better, I could've sworn I saw her smirk at me for a moment. She really seemed to enjoy making me feel as uncomfortable as possible. Suddenly, an idea strikes.
"Hope you've got a strong stomach!"
I grab her, and shake her upside down. I'm not sure how much of this she's aware of-
Monika's perspective.
AH GOD THIS DID NOT GO ACCORDING TO PLAN I FEEL LIKE VOMITING BUT I DON'T HAVE THE PHYSICAL CAPACITY TO DO SO PLEASE LET IT STOP
Dominic's perspective
Oh good the paper is out. I lay her down. "Sorry about that. I mean it is indirectly your fault, but at least we know how to get you guys back up and running."
I read the note
"... God dammit Monika. Really? Fine, whatever."
"I'm a goofy goober yeah."
Suddenly they unfreeze.
"You're a goofy goober yeah, we're all- wait why'd you stop?" Sayori said, before suddenly remembering her head injury. She brought a hand up to it and yelped in pain.
"Ah ah that was a mistake can someone grab me apple juice?"
"You know, this isn't DDLC, we have access to actual bandages and ice packs and-"
"Huh? Oh yeah I suppose I did use apple juice last time I hurt my head. I didn't even remember. I just wanted apple juice. Ehehe."
"It can wait. How are the rest of you?"
Monika looked very dizzy, and had a stupid grin on her face.
"Dominic, I didn't know you have a twin. You have such similar mannerisms, it's impressive."
She turned around. "Yuri? You too? You definitely don't have a twin… Am I seeing double?"
"Yeah you'd better lie down for a minute Monika." Sayori said, quite concerned.
But as soon as she'd laid Monika down, Natsuki angrily pulled her up.
"WHAT WAS THAT MONIKA? First you dye my hair black, then you paralyse us, so that we look like some perverts friggin happy hour!"
Yuri stepped in nervously. "Ah, that's not what happy hour is, that's with regards to the workweek and alcohol-"
"I want you to sit in the corner, and spend the rest of your life calculating for me exactly how few shits I give."
"T-That's fair."
I'm disturbed to notice that Monika's eyes don't seem to be looking in the same direction.
"Happy hour? Was I drinking? I'm not as think as you drunk I am, I can look after myself, it's fine. I'll just delete the bad effects. Oops, I should let you know, I can delete things because reality isn't real. Shush shush though, if anyone asks I never told you that, it's our little secret, ahaha. Ah, I should really stop telling that to people when I get drunk. It's not good to have 6 people, and now you going around knowing that."
"WHEN you get drunk?" the three exclaim in horror.
Ignoring them, Monika continued her rant. Jesus, shaking her did more damage than I thought.
"Wait, wait no, we're not in that reality anymore are we. I gave us bodies. That's right. Come to think of it, I don't think our brains are physically capable of getting drunk. I could probably emulate it though. You girls up for a good time?"
Yuri looks appalled. "That's illegal! Well, they don't have specific laws covering the digital addition of lost sobriety to a person's mind, but somehow I suspect they'd frown on us drinking! We've broken enough laws as is!"
I interject. "Actually… You're not in the States anymore, so it is technically legal. You're 18 so you're old enough to buy it, and even if you weren't, there is no legal minimum for actually drinking alcoholic beverages."
"Really? You're that lax on alcohol?"
"Yuri, New Zealand is the only country on Earth where making moonshine is completely legal."
"I'm not hearing a no..." Monika said.
"No no no no no no" Sayori shouted. Natsuki was grinning madly- she thought it would be another three years! Yuri looks like she wants to join Sayori in objecting, but is sufficiently nervous that she barely mutters a single "no."
This has gone on long enough. "Monika, that's a really bad idea-"
Suddenly, she randomly tapped the air, and all the girls suddenly experienced what it was like to have 5 pints in them. She did not go easy on them for their first time.
Sayori stumbled towards me. "Hey there (hic) Dominic. I just (hic) noticed your (hic) eyes."
"What of them?"
"They're (hic) blue. What a (hic) coincidence, so are (hic) mine! What're the (hic) odds?"
"... Not low. Also you haven't actually drunk anything, why are you hiccuping so much?"
Monika started whistling and looking away.
I stare at her incredulously, but Sayori drags my attention back towards her.
"Hey Dominic Imma tell you a (hic) secret."
"You're not sober, now is probably not the time."
"Back when we (hic) were all kids, I (hic) found out that the universe (hic) was fake"
Monika suddenly got up. "WHAT? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"
"Ehehe (hic) shush it's a secret."
Monika quickly pressed the air a few times, and Sayori looked confused. She was no longer hiccuping.
"Wh-What happened? Did you make me drunk?"
"Yes. Now Sayori, while drunk, you mentioned something about knowing DDLC was fake back when we were all kids. What was that?"
"Oh… I meant to keep that secret. I don't know how that Truman Show wannabe kept you fooled for so long. Remember that time for a bit where I said "Press A to continue"? That was a bug. Kind of made it really obvious for me. You just assumed it was a stupid joke and went along with it."
"You know I can vaguely remember that now. So… how did you respond to knowing reality was a lie?"
"I decided to try to fly. Turns out fall damage was a thing. I ended up in hospital for 4 weeks, then moved on."
"..."
"Hey! It beats what you decided to do with that knowledge! Besides, unlike you, I couldn't figure out how to control the game. I still have no clue how you managed to summon a command prompt."
"... You know what, fair enough. Say, where did Yuri and Natsuki go?"
Oh dear. While Sayori had my attention, it seemed Yuri and Natsuki had left.
"Did you only stop Sayori being drunk?"
"... I plead the 5th?"
"Return the others to sobriety please."
I leave to go look for them. The front door is still closed, so thankfully they probably haven't left the premises (Based on how drunk Sayori behaved, I doubt they'd remember to close a door behind them while hammered.)
I check my room- nothing. The bathroom- nothing. I run down to the kitchen and finally find the two of them. Not a moment too soon. Yuri is holding a knife up to Natsuki's throat.