As always, super big thanks to my editor Lies! Oooo girl how I love you so.

Minnie wasn't sure if she should treat the fighting trio like the civilized men she thought they could be, or like the fourth graders they were acting like. She took a breath, and then raised her voice, trying to get their attention. "That's enough!" But either they didn't hear her, or they were ignoring her, because the fight still waged on. Even Mortimer was foolishly getting in on it, hiding behind a tree and throwing rocks at Oswald and Pete. Minnie tried again and again, her voice growing louder and louder. "Gentlemen… If you could just… I'm trying to… Will you idiots just stop?"

Mickey patted her shoulder, stepping up. "Lemme try." He stuck two fingers into his mouth, and then whistled at a pitch so high several jungle birds in the vicinity screeched back in return. It did the trick, as Pete, Mortimer, and Oswald stopped in place to glare at Mickey. Mickey grinned in victory, but then was shoved into the male group by Minnie. "Hey! Where's me thanks?"

"Thanks." The reply was bitterer than he had expected. She cleared her throat before addressing the four men. "All right, now that I have your attention… we need to understand the situation we are in." She had Mortimer's attention, as he was looking at her legs. "This is an unopened zoo, and since it's the weekend, there might not be anyone working here, so we're on our own." She had Pete's attention, as he was looking at her hips. "So we need to work together in order to find the exit, and put aside any differences we have." She had Oswald's attention, as he was looking at her chest. "There is to be no fighting of any kind until we get out." She had Mickey's attention, as he was looking at her face. "Do you all understand?"

"Loud and clear, turtledove." Mickey saluted with a smile. "So where do we start movin'?"

Minnie would have given a guess but Mortimer just had to storm up to Mickey with a scowl. "Turtledove? Where do you get off calling my Minerva something so stupid?"

"I could come up with twenty better pet names than some ugly bird." Oswald added in, and counted on his fingers trying to come up with them. "Let me see…"

"Ye guys don't know nothin' about women!" Pete threw in his unwanted two cents. "It aint about the names! No wonder ye guys can't get a hold of her…"

Minnie threw her hands up in exasperation, all but screaming. "What in the world did I just finish telling you?"

Now the argument was tossed at her, as Mortimer turned to her with anger still clear on his face. "I'm just trying to defend your honor! "

Mickey snorted at that notion. "Defend? Like ye were defendin' yerself until we came up? Real heroic stuff, throwin' rocks an' hidin' like a little lad…"

"What about ye, Captain?" Pete roughly shoved Mickey by the shoulder, looming over him. "Didn't see ye comin' to help me when I was fightin' the rabbit! Ain't a captain supposed to protect his crew? Girl doesn't want ye cause yer a coward!"

Oswald puffed out his chest in pride at the mention of his name. "He didn't fight because he knew he'd lose against me. A few more seconds, cat, and you would have been nothing but scrap metal! That's why I'm the best candidate to be Minerva's husband, I can actually protect her!"

On and on the argument went, with who could protect her best and who was best for her, until the trophy in question lost her temper. She picked up four of Mortimer's rocks, and hurled them all in rapid succession, smacking each fool in the head. It was childish, but she felt she was now among children. As they rubbed their heads in pain, Minnie marched up the group, growling dangerously. "Is this how I have to make you behave? Then listen!" She grabbed Mortimer by the arm. "This is the man I'm marrying! Him, and him alone!" Mortimer smirked – "I don't care if he's stupid and cheap and ugly and misogynistic..." - Mortimer stopped smirking. "He's the one I'm arranged to, and you'll all just have to accept it!"

Releasing Mortimer's arm, she went to Oswald, and poked his chest. "I'm not marrying you just so you can win in some imaginary contest with Mickey! You're rude and snobby and you waste your money! You're always trying to prove how good you are compared to your family, when you should want people to like you who for you are! And naming a ship B.L.O.T. is just bad marketing!"

Now it was Pete's turn, and she looked up at him with her hands on her hips. "And you, I barely even know you, and you're already trying to fight over me? You're a pirate, it's not going to happen! Even worse, you're a pirate who disrespects your captain! If you don't respect your leader, how is anyone supposed to respect you? So stay out of a fight that wasn't even supposed to happen, and shape up! Or you'll be arrested without any dignity at all!"

Finally, she went to Mickey, giving him the hardest glare of all. "And you. You just don't take no for an answer, but that's all I've ever said to you! Do you even understand what kind of nightmare you've put me through? My friends are constantly worrying over me, my Captain thinks I'm unworthy of wearing this uniform, the newspapers call me a rookie, and because of you I've got extra men to fend off! Because of you, everyone either pities me or thinks I'm a moron or is trying to get their grubby hands on me! What do you have to say for yourself?" By now, she had been leaning towards him so much that he had started leaning backwards, almost losing his balance. "Well?"

Mickey's eyes remained on her, and for a moment, the jungle was quiet. He bit his lip, and then straightened himself up. He knew there was only one thing to say. "I'm sorry."

Minnie had been ready to serve him another rant when he spoke. She never would have expected an apology when he did speak. She stayed in place, wondering if she heard correctly. Even the other men looked surprised. "…What?" She asked, pulling her body back.

"I'm sorry." Mickey repeated, and his shoulders sunk. "I didn't mean fer alla that ta happen ta ye… I didn't think ye'd get so much of the blame when I escaped on the Hawkins. And I sure didn't want any other fellas after ye. I know how important bein' a N.A.V.Y. girl is ta ye, and I didn't wanna do nothin' to yer reputation. The last thing I'd ever want is fer ye ta be unhappy, and… and is that all I've ever done ta ye?" He took off his hat, holding it to his chest, and bowed his head. "I really am sorry, turtledove."

Minnie was wondering if she had suddenly become a part of history because she had never heard a case of a pirate being able to apologize. Clarabelle's warnings about head games stayed clear in Minnie's mind, yet Mickey sounded so sincere. Unsure of what to do, she shifted the balance in her legs, fidgeting. "Oh. Well. Um…" She wasn't ready to forgive him, but she didn't know what to say in response. How was it that Mickey could always be counted on for more surprises?

Mortimer could always be counted on for ruining a good moment, as he did now, going up to Minnie's side and accidentally shoving her aside with his weight. "And you owe me an apology too, pirate! Where's mine? You think you could just get away with stealing my fiancé?"

Minnie's frustration easily came back, and she tried to get her future husband's attention. "Mortimer, I can handle this, you know he couldn't actually take me."

"I know what I've been seeing!" Mortimer turned on her again, demanding his opinion be the only one that mattered. Pete and Oswald had sat down on tree roots and longed for some popcorn. "This was the guy at the engagement party who cheated to get you, and the one who was on top of you on my boat! Whenever I throw a party, he's there, after you! Do you know what you've been doing to my reputation? Now you've got more men trying to have you as their wife… what kind of floozy woman am I getting attached to?"

"Mortimer!" Minnie could only think to say that in her insulted shock.

Mickey could not only think of more, he grabbed Mortimer by the arm and held it as tightly as possible. "Ye can't speak ta her like that!" His apologetic tone had quickly vanished, and now he was snarling, fingers nearly tearing into Mortimer's expensive clothes.

Mortimer tried to yank his arm back, but Mickey was stronger than the snob expected. "She's my fiancé, I can speak to her however I want! Now unhand me, you filthy degenerate!"

"Apologize ta her!" Mickey yanked Mortimer right back, forcing Mortimer to go eye to eye with him. "Apologize right now!"

"Make me!" Mortimer swung his free arm back, ready to punch Mickey, and Minnie ran towards them, ready to stop the next fight…

BONK!

… when a wood and rope ladder fell right on Mortimer's head. It could be said that the ladder was very strong, or that Mortimer was very weak, but either way, Mortimer slowly fell backwards, without a sound, as he had been knocked out. Mickey let go of his arm, and everyone looked up to see where the dangling ladder had come from. Two bodies were climbing down the ladder, and jumped off near the bottom, landing on the grass. The first was Goofy, who looked delighted to see Mickey and Pete. "Hey, we finally found ye! Shucks, we've been searchin' fer ye fellas ferever! Everyone okay?" He then noticed the unconscious body, and stepped backwards from it. "…Oops." The second body was a much smaller one, wearing a hooded cloak of brown and not letting any of its body be seen, save for thick black boots and two sharp cat claws. This one merely nodded to what Goofy was saying, quiet.

Mickey's anger eased as he saw his companions. "It's about time ye fellas got here! Let's get outta this mess. Goofy, take the rat an' haul him ta the brig." He then smiled at Minnie and Oswald, gesturing to the ladder. "Ready ta get on board a real ship?"

Minnie knew she had little choice, now surrounded by pirates, and was ready to comply. Oswald, however, saw his time to shine especially now that Mortimer was out of the way. "I'd rather die than get on board a pirate ship! You'll never take me hostage! Stand back, Minerva!" Ignoring Minerva's protests, he whipped out his cane sword, and aimed at what he thought would be the easiest target to take down – the cloaked cat. "If you surrender now, I'll show you some mercy!" The disguised one looked unimpressed by way of crossing its arms. Insulted, Oswald ran towards the cat, and grabbed the front of the cat's clothes, intending to drag this pirate forward. "Do you have any idea who I am, you - "

He stopped when he felt something squish under his grasp. Men's chests were not supposed to squish. Nor were men supposed to cry out "Eek!" in a feminine pitch and slap him across the face, not only sending him back a foot, but also leaving scratches on his face. Now everyone stared at what they now thought of as 'her'. After recovering his wits, Mickey turned on Pete. "Ye recruited a girl on me ship? We don't recruit girls, ever!" Even Goofy was lifting his bandana to scratch his head in confusion.

Pete held up his hands in defense. "He never… I mean, she never said she was a girl! How was I supposed to know?" Come to think of it, this particular new recruit had never said a word since he – she! – was brought on board. This pirate had always hidden until they were needed, and never tried to interact with anyone.

The discovered women looked around, and then grunted as the ruse had to be given up. "Oooh… this is all yer fault!" She pointed angrily to a stunned Oswald. "Everythin' was goin' fine until ye had ta… b-b-be a big pervert! Guess I don't got much of a choice now…" She untied her cloak and hood and let it fall to the ground. The pirate standing there was clearly a woman, since her black and purple dress was showing enough of her curves to prove it. A black furred cat, it could now be seen that her sharp claws were actually knives she kept constantly curled around in her fingers. "Me real name is Ortensia. But I'm still a pirate, and I'm still a member of this crew, so I ain't leavin'!"

This day was just full of surprises for Minnie, and with a hand on her heart, she didn't know if she could handle any more of them. As usual, what she wanted didn't matter, as another surprise was made by Mickey stepping forward with his arms wide, sounding excited. "Ortensia? Me little Ortensia? Is that really ye?" He didn't wait for an answer, now running up to her and scooping her up in his arms, twirling her around in the air. "Little Ortensia! As I live an' breathe!"

Ortensia was quickly enough returning the happiness, laughing merrily and hugging him around the neck. "Mickey, quit it! I'm not little anymore! C'mon, put me down!"

Mickey relented, easing her down and chuckling. "Ye've got a lot of explainin' ta do… but this calls fer a round of drinks! Everyone, on board!" Ortensia went to the ladder and began to climb up, with Mickey following.

"Cap'n!" Goofy called out, hoping to reach him. "What about the rabbit and yer wife?"

"Put 'em in the brig too!" Mickey shouted down at him. "We've got some catchin' up ta do first!"

Minnie's body went along with everything automatically. It walked and climbed for her without her needing to think about it. This was very useful, because her mind was too shocked to give the body any commands. It wasn't that she was going to be prisoner on a pirate ship, or that Mortimer and Oswald had both been injured. There were a few facts that had sent her reeling, and they had been facts her friends had warned her about. Mickey knew other women, and by the look of it, he knew this other women very well. Mickey had a woman in his life besides Minnie. He had a woman who made him very happy.

That should have been a relief. That should have been another reason why the two couldn't be together. That should have been the answer to her problems. It should have been all of that and much more, but instead, what it was, what it undeniably was? It was uncomfortable.

While Minnie was uncomfortable emotionally, Horace was uncomfortable physically, though it was fair to say his own emotions were in a wreck too. He had heard a startling news announcement on the radio, and he didn't even wait for the report to finish before he was running out of his room and towards the plane hangar. Though Horace could fly, it was not recommended, for he had severe back problems. That hardly mattered to him now, nor did it matter that he was getting into a plane without permission. All that mattered was getting to Buckingham palace as soon as possible to stop what he saw as an unthinkable tragedy. He turned off the radio within the plane to ignore any reprimand, and struggled to ignore the pain his back was in.

Since this plane was meant for only one person to fly in, time and distance were quickened. When he reached the palace, he saw it lacked any kind of runway, so he tried to make a smooth and peaceful landing by the gates. What he got was a haphazard crash landing that destroyed the gates and left more than a scratch on the plane. He could worry about the costs to fix such things and all the trouble he was in later, there were more important things to do! He popped the hatch, and crawled out, only to be surrounded by dozens of palace guards, pointing their guns at him. He had no choice but to worry about the trouble he was in right that second.

He raised his arms up to show he was unarmed. "W-wait a minute, don't shoot! Ya guys don't understand! I have ta stop this weddin'!"

"N.A.V.Y. Private, coming though." The guards slowly stepped aside to let a woman walk up to the disastrous scene. Clarabelle didn't know what to think when she had seen the A.R.M.Y. plane crash into the gates, and had run over as fast as she could. Now that she could see the 'invader', all official pose was lost. "Horace Horsecollar, what in the world do you think you're doing?"

"Clarabelle!" he raced up to her, and grabbed her by the shoulders, almost shaking her. "I just heard on the radio! That you and Millicent were guardin' the prince, and that he up and proposed!"

Clarabelle rolled her eyes as she nodded. "That's right." She had seen it with her own eyes and still couldn't believe it happened. "It was the silliest thing I had ever - "

"Ya can't marry him, Clarabelle!" Now Horace was shaking her, back and forth in desperation. "Ya just can't! I won't let ya!"

Clarabelle stared at him, her disbelief now doubled. "Uh, Horace…" Even some of the guards had started laughing.

"I know he's rich and he's handsome and he's a prince…" Horace hadn't prepared what he was going to say for this confrontation and was clearly making it up from the top of his head. "But ya just can't marry him! Please, ya can't!"

"Horace…" Clarabelle tried again, this time more agitated.

"He doesn't love ya, he can't love ya!" He let go of her shoulders to grasp her hands firmly in his. "I know it ain't much, but… but… he can't marry ya, because I lo- "

"Because he's marrying Millie." Clarabelle successfully managed to finish for him. "He didn't propose to me, he proposed to Millie."

Horace wasn't sure what he would have preferred, the continuous laughter of the guards, or silence that would have left him to hear his head calling him a moron. "… Oh. Huh. Whaddya know." He hoped that today was just extremely hot and that he wasn't feeling the heat off his own red cheeks. "… Uh, well, I heard on the radio that he proposed ta one of the N.A.V.Y girls guardin' him taday… an' I figured between Millie and ya…"

Clarabelle raised an eyebrow, her cheeks beginning to match his. "And you thought he proposed to me? Why?"

"Um." It was about as articulate as he could make himself at the moment. "Um." He also realized that they were still holding hands which didn't help his speech any. "Ummm."

"And why were you flying a plane?" Clarabelle fortunately managed to focus on less embarrassing aspects. "You know that's not good for your back! And you're going to march right up the royal family and tell them it was you who ruined the gate!" She pulled her hands back, and turned around, expecting him to follow as she headed back for the palace. "They're busy enough as is, making arrangements for the wedding tomorrow…"

"T-Tomorrow?" Horace caught up to her side, glad to get away from the guards. "But didn't he just propose taday?"

"I know, it's insane." Clarabelle frowned as the scenes replayed in her head. "But Prince Edward wants to marry her as soon as possible. Everyone is just going along with it… except Millie." She opened the doors to the palace, where servants were already at work to decorate for the wedding. "She told him no, she keeps telling him no, but he won't hear a word of it!" She looked at Horace as she drew conclusions in her mind. "I asked her why before she was dragged off to try on dresses, and she wouldn't tell me why she didn't want to marry him. You and I know Millie has been seeing some mystery guy, but she won't name him, and won't even admit she's seeing him. I bet if she just said who she was seeing, Edward would let her go, but she absolutely refuses!"

"What a time ta be stubborn." Horace looked around, slightly awed by the impressive and lavish decorating the palace was going through. "If Millie doesn't wanna marry prince Edward, but she can't name the guy she does wanna be with… what is she gunna do?"

Clarabelle shrugged. "I have no idea. They won't even let me see her. The wedding is going to be right here in the palace tomorrow, so we should stick around. Millie is our friend… there has to be something we can do."

Horace tapped his chin in thought. Just why couldn't Millie say who she was dating, especially when she was being forced into a marriage she didn't want? There was no explanation for it. On second thought, there could be one reason why she couldn't talk about her lover… but, no, that would be impossible, and ridiculous.

"Enter."

The doors into the oval office opened, and two beautiful women entered, side by side. The only thing the women had in common with each was they were pirates. The woman to the left was an elegant cat, with brown fur and bright green eyes. Her long black hair was held in place by a golden head ornament, a decorated snake peering out. She also wore a gold circle around one of her arms, and gold even appeared to decorate her lavish belt, which held six swords, three on each side. Her tight red dress left very little to the imagination, and even as she walked her hips sashayed side for side for attention.

The other woman, doglike, chose to wear men's fashion to hide her hips and curves. The dark reds and whites out the outfit couldn't hide the fact that in each pocket she had, a silver pistol was sticking out. The only feminine part of her was her head, since her ears had large hooped earrings, her red hair had a habit of sticking up, and her face was enough to make a good man turn his head to look, even if she was scowling. Both women stopped at the desk near the windows, and waited for the man sitting in the chair behind the desk to face them.

The chair took its time turning, for the man sitting in it looked displeased. A staggeringly tall wolf, he was the most well dressed man in the room, with a black and white business suit that looked two times smaller than he did. It almost blended into his black and white fur, though his white face did have shades of red anger. "Is this how you dress when you come to meet royalty?" He growled, resting his elbows on the desk.

"I don't see a crown on ye yet, Barnaby Wolf." The pistol preferring woman pointed out. "I didn't come here fer fashion tips, I came fer the job… and I expected ta do it alone." She side eyed the cat, which had never stopped smirking since she entered the room.

"You don't have to work together." Barnaby tapped his fingers together. "But I don't want to leave such an important assignment to just one person. You're both good at what you do." He looked to the cat. "Mirage, master of deception, and from what I hear you've already got a base set up in the Kingdom of England."

"You've done your homework, your highness." Mirage bowed ever so slightly. Her dialect didn't match that of a usual pirate, but then she wasn't a usual pirate. "I'm sure Peggy and I can come to some form of agreement."

"That's Pistol Peg, ta ye!" Peg snapped, trying to resist the urge to fire her namesake. "Do what ye want, but I ain't workin' with ye. I've done me homework too, and I know about all yer backstabbin'! Ye'd sell yer own mother if it'd get you another pretty piece of jewelry!"

"That's enough." The wolf huffed, hoping to stop the oncoming argument. "I'm not paying you two to bicker. You know exactly why I contacted you both." He then stood up, and pulled a drawer out from the desk. He took out two manila folders from within the drawer, and handed one to each woman. "My father is finally going to give up the useless search for my sister, and crown me king. To make sure it happens without any hitches, I want you to look into these people, and report where they live and what their daily schedule is."

"Has it really been so long since the princess was kidnapped?" Mirage's question didn't sound like she actually didn't care about the answer. She ran her fingers along her folder, musing out loud. "But then I guess no father is perfect. He was bound to give up sooner or later."

"And don't I know it!" Barnaby smacked his chair, causing it to swivel around and around. "It's been almost thirty years since those pirates kidnapped her on her wedding day, and yet father still held onto the belief she was alive! Like she would have made a good ruler, even if she did return… she was nothing but a fat, stupid, waste of space!" he grabbed the chair to stop it from spinning, and huffed and puffed, calming down. "… But it doesn't matter anymore. Now I will be King."

Peg flipped through the papers in her folder, wondering why the names there held any significance to this affair. "I remember that still bein' a big deal when I was a little lass… the infamous pirate Devil Eyes snatchin' the princess of America. No one could find him or his crew… and then those rumors that his crew disbanded, and his ship destroyed! Dunno what kept yer Pa thinkin' she was alive after all." She closed the folder. "Ye want us to kill the fellas in these folders?"

Barnaby shook his head. "That may not be necessary. Just find me their locations and their schedule, and I will see if they present any threat to me. Once you give me what I want, you'll get paid… and maybe given extra assignments dealing with these people." He waved a hand. "You're dismissed."

Peg rolled her shoulder, not caring, and turned to leave. Mirage bowed again, with a bit more respect this time. "Long live the king." She exchanged smiles with Barnaby, and walked alongside Peg, leaving the office. She took a quick glance inside of her folder, and upon reading one name, she chuckled deep in her throat.

Peg glanced over, as the doors closed behind them once they had left. "What's so funny?"

Mirage closed the folder. "I'm just going to enjoy this assignment, that's all."

Peg frowned, but didn't add on. She didn't care for Mirage at all, and was determined not to work with her. Mirage was infamous for her betrayals, and she only cared for himself. She frequently used her beauty and charm to get what she wanted, and that made Peg sick. As far as Peg was concerned, Mirage was a disgrace to pirates. She shook her head, trying to distract herself from the angering thoughts. She found a distraction once they came by the empty throne room, and she noticed something odd above the throne. There was a single sword stuck there, with its handle colored red, white, and blue. It was held in place that layers of metal, lapping over it almost like duct tape.

Mirage noticed where Peg's eyes were going. "They call it the System Sword. It was built into this place when they modified the White House." She waved a hand toward the sword. "The people of America will only accept a ruler who can pass a blood test and prove they really are next in line for the throne. The last King puts the sword back up there so it can be tangled up." She then motioned to the throne. "Behind there is a hidden hole. The heir to the throne sticks their arm in there, and an interior blade checks their blood. If the DNA inside of it matches previous rulers, the sword is untangled and given to the next king or queen. If it doesn't match…" She snapped her fingers. "The interior blade cuts off their hand."

Peg rubbed her wrist at the bloody images in her head. "That's a big risk. I think I'd like keepin' me hand over becomin' queen."

"Isn't that a relief." Mirage resumed walking, ignoring the heated glare from the other pirate.

Even from the jail cells on Mickey's ship, the two chained prisoners could hear the loud cheering from rooms up above, with the third prisoner still unconscious. Yelling, singing, cups smashed together, a grand party was being held for Ortensia, by the sound of it. As Minnie paced back and forth in the cell, she would occasionally stop in one place, trying to listen for any vital information. At least, that's what she was telling herself. The truth, which she would flatly deny if being told so, was that she was trying to learn the connection between Mickey and Ortensia. The way they had just been so happy to see one another, and hugged, and smiled… it had created a knot in her stomach that only grew tighter as time went on.

Realizing she wasn't going to be hearing above the drunken cries and merry songs, she gave up her walk for now, and leaned against the cold wall, looking at her fellow prisoner. Oswald had settled for sitting since they arrived, grumbling but otherwise unusually quiet. The scratch on his cheek from Ortensia's slap was still clear as day, and Minnie wondered for a moment if it didn't hurt or if the rabbit was just being stubborn and refusing to admit any pain.

As Minnie played the scene out again in her head – Mickey calling the girl's name, Mickey hugging the girl, Mickey just looking so happy to see her – there was the sound of footsteps, and both prisoners looked up the see Goofy, leaning over them, cheerful as always. Keys in hand, he unlocked the cell door, and then stepped backward. "Time ta join the party, folks! Just follow me!" As if they were late guests instead of prisoners! He pocketed the keys, and began to walk. Minnie and Oswald exchanged looks, but got to their feet, the chains on their ankles and wrists clinking and clanking as they made their way out.

When they arrived on the upper deck, the party was still in process, and the room reeked of rum and smoke. The first thing that Minnie spotted was the pair directly in the middle of the room, Mickey finishing off the verse to a bawdy song, one hand with a glass filled with spilling alcohol, his other arm around Ortensia's waist. The knot tightened to an excruciatingly hard degree, nearly ready to snap. As her hands clenched and unclenched, the captain spotted the arrivals, and let go of the cat to walk over, though Ortensia was at his heels to follow. "There they are! How is me girl doin'?"

"I could be better." Minnie's tone was a supposed air of indifference, raising her nose in the air as she extended her arms forward, showing that she was still cuffed.

Mickey clicked his tongue, and then snapped his fingers towards Goofy. The dog understood the commands, taking the keys out once more to unlock all of the restraints on the mouse and the rabbit. Minnie rubbed her wrists, while Oswald was, still, oddly silent. Ever since she had first met him, she had known the rabbit to be a loud-mouth, complaining a lot about this and that, including his sheer, utter hatred for Mickey. Minnie was grateful for the silence, as it also meant he'd stop fake-flirting with her just to piss off Mickey. Oswald merely stared hard at Ortensia, expression unreadable. She didn't appear to notice.

Mickey took a quick drink before speaking again. "That's better… now, then, time ta get us all acquainted like. Ortensia, this is me wife, Minnie - "

"I am not your wife." Minnie cut in, as she always did, even though it always proved to do little good.

"And Minnie," he continued, as if he hadn't heard his girl, gesturing back towards the cat. "This is me little sister, Ortensia."

"Little sister?" Minnie and Oswald gaped at the same time, startled by this sudden revelation. Oswald broke his unannounced vow of silence by going even further. "You can't be related! She's a cat, and you're a mouse!"

"Rich boy's got a working pair of eyes, good fer 'im." Ortensia rolled her eyes, taking out a small file and attending to her nails. "We may not be siblings by blood, but we're just as good. We be family by soul."

Mickey looped an arm around Minnie's shoulders, and she allowed it for now. "See, when I was but a wee little lad, I kinda took Ortensia here under me wing. I taught her everything I knew, made sure ta keep her out of trouble… cute as a button, she was."

"Was?" Ortensia smirked at her 'sibling', but let him continue.

"I was her teacher, her friend… we ruled that little town we lived in. But the skies and the seas were callin', and I knew I couldn't stay there ferever." He emptied his glass, and then chucked it behind him. "So when I got enough gold, I was out and ready ta make the world me own. But I promised me little sister I'd write ta her all the time, and that I did do."

"And that's just why I'm here." Ortensia finished, and then fished out a small parch of paper from a small satchel hanging off her shoulder. "That last letter ye sent me had me all worried. What's all this about gettin' hitched to some N.A.V.Y. girl?"

Whatever relief Minnie felt at knowing the two were siblings and nothing else, it was diminished by that paper, and she made a grab for it, glaring at the amorous pirate at her side. "What have you been telling people about me?"

He held up a flat palm in response. "Nothin' but the honest truth, turtldove."

Ortensia snatched the paper right back, and read it out loud. "Dear Ortensia, I hope ye've been doin' well. Ye ought to know that soon ye'll be gettin' a sister-in-law, fer yer big brother has finally found the one. A lil' while ago, I was snatched up by the N.A.V.Y., and set ta be hung, but while I was waitin' fer the angel o' death, what I got was a different sort of angel."

"Oh, brother." Oswald mumbled under his breath, and Minnie's cheeks were starting to redden.

"Love at first sight exists, fer the moment we saw each other, we knew we had ta have one another-"

"That's a lie and you know it!" Minnie finally shrugged off Mickey's arm, hands on her hips. "We fought the first time we met! We were trying to stab each other!"

Ortensia went on, undeterred. "Each day that passed in waitin', we fell harder and harder. When the day came fer me to meet Davy Jones, me sweet little Mins knew she couldn't bare ta have me gone, and helped me escape - "

"You tricked me into unlocking the cage!" Minnie was now shrieking, fists tightly wound. "You pretended to be choking, that's why I opened the door!"

"And since that day, we have been drawn ta each other, with the spirited miss always chasing after me fer more hugs and kisses-"

"I've been trying to arrest you!" Minnie's hands were aching to strangle the liar.

"So I expect the weddin' by next year, when she quits the N.A.V.Y. and becomes me newest crew member. I want a good gift and toast at the reception. Luv, Mick." Finished, Ortensia rolled the paper back up, looking at her brother, whose shirt was being clenched by a very angry private.

"Nothing but the honest truth?" Minnie hissed, nearly toppling Mickey over as she leaned forward.

He waved his hand, a little bit afraid of her wrath. "May have exaggerated a smidgen."

Returning the paper to her satchel, Ortensia raised an eyebrow as she spoke skeptically. "I came here ta see just what kind of girl was tryin' ta go after me brother, and make sure she's the right one fer him. Me brother only deserves the best kind, ye know."

"I have absolutely no interest in marrying your brother." Minnie let Mickey go, crossing her arms. "He failed to mention I'm already engaged!"

Ortensia looked at Mickey for confirmation, and the pirate shrugged one shoulder. "Minor detail."

"Can't help but be thinkin' the lass wants nothing to do with you, Mick." Ortensia jabbed a thumb towards the other female. "Which is just as well… from what I've seen, she ain't good enough fer ye anyway."

Minnie had been nodding along with Ortensia, until that last sentence came out. Her head quickly jerked toward the cat, pride wounded. "Excuse me?"

The feline met her eyes, starting off with a haughty snort before explaining. "I said, yer not good enough fer my brother. Too small, too scrawny, too weak… I saw ye out there when we raided the rabbit's ship, ye couldn't even put up a good enough fight against some weak little men."

"I was doing my job." Minnie glowered, her rage now directed at a new target, and gestured with one hand towards Oswald. "It was my duty to protect Lord Oswald, and I've been doing a fine job of that!"

"Real fine!" Ortensia laughed with a hard shake of her head. "Yer our prisoners, in case that slipped yer mind! Yer just a lil girl in her mama's big girl outfit, aint cha?"

"I am a real N.A.V.Y. woman!" With that, Minnie grabbed Oswald's arm, and forced him forward. "Tell her, Lord Oswald! I've been doing a great job protecting you, haven't I?"

Oswald grumbled again, and then smoothed down his clothes. "I have nothing to say to you," he addressed Minnie, and then to Mickey "Nor you. But…" Now his gaze was back upon Ortensia, lips nearly twitching, something impatient and emotional was brewing. Perhaps being beaten by a female pirate had done a bigger damage to his ego than Minnie first thought. "You, I do have something to say!"

Ortensia's lips curled, looking deeply amused. Minnie privately noted – while swatting Mickey's hand off of her tail – that the cat and the rabbit were rather alike. Both were incredibly snooty and thought their opinions were better than those around them. Even the way they were glaring at each other seemed to carry a similarity. "And what's that?" Ortensia asked, readying herself for another good laugh.

Oswald looked her up and down, then nodded to himself… and then clasped one of Ortensia's hands in both of his own, and said in a tone that was a strange mixture of happiness and seriousness, "Marry me."

There was an explosion of silence, as suddenly every single crew member stopped what they were doing to whip around and look at the pair. Even Mickey had stopped trying to get his arms around his beloved, choosing to look upon his sister and the noble. Such an impossible statement it was, that Minnie would have been sure she merely imagined it, had not the shocked look of Ortensia confirmed it was the truth. The quiet continued on, as if expecting Oswald to explain the prank he had just pulled, until the cat, face now pale as a washed skeleton, managed to croak a word out. "What?"

"Marry me." He said again, somehow not seeing what was so surprising about this demand. In fact, he was leaning in towards her as she leaned back, eyes shining, and a gigantic smile plastered on his face. "I've loved you from the first moment I met you! You're everything I ever wanted from a woman! Even your name is perfect! Oh, Ortensiaaaaaa!"As he leaned in for a kiss with the extended vowel, Ortensia lashed out, slapping his other cheek.

She wildly looked at her brother and his woman, flustered. "What is this loony goin' on about?"

"I'm going on about marriage, darling!" The slap hadn't stopped him any, though it had brought him to his knees. To make up for this, he was now hugging her waist, oblivious to how utterly ridiculous he was looking. "You and me, together forever! I'd be the happiest man alive!"

The stupor was beginning to wear off on the observers, as made evident when Mickey, growling, came up to the rabbit and began kicking him to the back. "Hey! Get yer paws off me sister! Who says I'd even let ye marry her!"

Oswald refused to let go, despite the kicks, and despite Ortensia's shoving. "I don't need your permission, rat!"

"What about me permission?" Ortensia yowled, taking off her satchel, ready to use it as a weapon.

Minnie calmly watched the situation unfold, feeling an uncanny familiarity toward it. "Oswald, are you just doing this to annoy Mickey?" After all, that was the reason behind Oswald pretending to be interested in Minnie, and also one of his sole purposes in life.

"He's got nothing to do with it." The rabbit still managed to ignore Mickey yanking on his leg, as the aristocrat took one of Ortensia's arms, giving it kisses up and down. "This is all about me and my sweetheart!"

"I NEVER SAID I WAS YER SWEETHEART!" Ortensia smacked him with her satchel with each word.

"GET OFF ME SISTER!" Mickey resorted to tugging on Oswald's ears to try and wrench him off.

Minnie then came to a realization as she watched the tug and forth continue. "Oh, no." She rubbed her temples as she reluctantly stated what she thought out loud. "This is me and Mickey all over again!"

Hearing his name, and dodging a backwards kick from the rabbit, Mickey wagged a finger towards the private. "I dunno what ye been drinkin', turtledove, but this is totally dif'rent! Ours is the real deal, the destined from the stars sort of deal! This bunny boy is a just a bouncy bugger!"

"Ours is more real than anything you've got!" Oswald retorted, holding onto his unwilling bride for dear life. "We're meant to be together! I've known it since our eyes locked!"

"Ye mean when I was cuttin' up yer face!" Ortensia snarled, baring her cat claws at her unwanted suitor. "Those ears will be comin' right off if ye don't knock it off!"

"Oh, Ortensia, you're so fierce!"The rabbit sighed in a heavenly matter, happily pressing his face into her side.

"LEGGO, LEGGO, LEGGO!"

"GET! OFF! ME! SISTER!"

Minnie felt a tap on her shoulder, and turned to see Goofy sympathetically offering a bottle of rum. She glanced back to the bickering strangeness, and then decided to take the bottle. She had a feeling she was going to need it, though she didn't drink it right away. Goofy smiled kindly at her, and nodded his head away. "Don't ye worry none, we ain't really holdin' ye prisoner." He led her to a small table, where an old radio had been set up. "We'll get ye home in a jiffy. How about we listen ta some news?"

"I think I'd like that." Minnie welcomed the distraction, taking a seat the table. The other pirates had resumed their own drunken partying, ignoring the squabbling. Pete was lumped in a corner, tending to his wounded pride.

Goofy played around with the radio buttons and dials, until he found a good frequency. He eased back into his seat as the news came on, letting his feet rest on the table. Minnie watched him, still debating whether to drink from the bottle or not. He looked like he didn't have a trouble in the world, and was one of the cheeriest pirates she had ever known. It looked like nothing could shake him.

"And we have astounding news concerning the royal family." The radio announcer chirped. "Prince Edward has found his bride on the exact day he said he would start looking for her. Tomorrow, all of England will be witness to the marriage of Prince Edward and Millicent Manchester!"

Goofy fell backwards in his chair and right onto the floor. As he scrambled to get up, Minnie was already standing. "Millie? Millie is getting married to Prince Edward?"

"That can't be!" Goofy got to his feet, grabbing the radio and shaking it, as it was the actual news reporter. "Millie can't be marryin' him! What's he done ta her? H-how can this be happenin'?" The dog who seconds ago looked like not even an earthquake could shake him now was on the verge of tears. "Millie! I, I gotta do somethin'! She can't marry him!" The other pirates quieted down to hear Goofy's anguished howls, and Oswald had finally been shut up by stuffing Ortensia's satchel in his mouth. "M-M-Millie!"

Mickey walked to his distressed friend, patting him on the back. "Somethin' tells me we ain't got all the facts about him and yer girlfriend."

Goofy paused in his radio assault, and looked down at Mickey. "How did ye figure Millie was me girl?"

Mickey stopped patting. "… Ye didn't honestly think ye were keepin' a secret, did ye? Anytime ye were veer asked if ye had a girl, ye stammered and stuttered and denied it ta high heaven. Everyone on board knows about ye havin' a N.A.V.Y. girl."

Minnie thought to herself that perhaps Goofy and Millie did deserve each other after all. "That aside… I know Millie, she's very loyal. There's no way she'd marry anyone else willingly… I hate to say it, but Mickey's right, we don't have all the facts."

Mickey looked at the radio, thoughts forming along with a smile. "Then let's get 'em! Boys… and me sister… let's put on our Sunday best, cause we're goin' ta a weddin'!"

End Of Chapter Ten.