Chapter 9: Behave
"Ino... That's right. You did this... You defiled his grave.."
"You killed him."
When I look into your eyes
All I see in you is me
That perfect portrait stands there
Holding on so desperately
"And Choji? Did he help you? Sakura and Kakashi... I bet everyone is in on this. It's why none of you could look me in the eyes."
'Kid, stop, something isn't right-'
"Heh... who knew. Who knew people could be so awful. I thought only monsters... only something inhuman could be so evil. Every real evil I've ever faced, I was sure the difference between us... the thing that separated us from the ones we had to fight was humanity. I thought the thing that bonded us together wasn't just our experiences, but our home."
"And now you are a threat to our home."
"... Maybe home wasn't a place worth being loyal to after all."
I don't care what you think
I don't mind where you'll go
But I hope you know the weight
Has broke my back, it's starting to show
It hadn't even occurred to me to use my shadow possession. Just swinging wildly, furiously at everything, until I could grab something with enough force to pull them towards me. I don't know who it was, but after snapping their neck, and feeling the full weight of their body, all I knew was that I wanted more. More blood, more death, more pain, wanted them to feel what I felt-
"Shikamaru, stop! Don't make me do this-" Tsunade stands bravely, but I call her bluff and charge at her. As I thought, she blocks and defends not once taking any offensive opening, no matter how obvious I would make them, "I order you to stop!"
Ino grabs her, taking her place in my line of aggression, "Get out of here my lady, you'll just get in the way!"
'Quickly, draw the symbol,'
As Ino charged, I spun around, swiftly making the mark in my own blood, clawing at her viciously, when another blade enters my back.
"You! Hahaha, Yes, you! You're the one, I'm going to make you pay!"
"Damn, no wonder Kakuzu is always getting on my case... Finish it, Shikamaru, and then run-"
Hidan's voice faded the same moment I bit into his neck, the same moment that the mark darkened my skin, and panic washed over my captores.
"Dammit, Kodama, no!"
"Oh? Kodama? So that's your name. Funny."
"Master, run-"
It feels so good to bash his ribs, feeling his pain, knowing exactly what he is feeling, reveling in his agony... "Master? How dare you speak to her like that... You don't know her..."
"COugh, apparently... neither did you."
I saw no ghost
There was no death
But on the day you left
You whimpered out your dying breath
His lifeless body isn't nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be, not nearly as good as the feeling of his knife in my chest. I realize it isn't the pain, not like the pain I felt when he was the one doling it out, but knowing exactly what he felt as he died. Knowing, I am stronger. I can feel so much more than his body could take. And hoping, silently, that Jashin has a much worse fate for him in the afterlife.
And even that is nothing compared to what I want to do right now.
"Shikamaru... What have you done..."
"Hehe.. You can stop acting like you aren't in on this. Now that the cat is out of his chains, you have to maintain your innocence in all this, don't you?"
"Listen to me Shikamaru, you don't have to do this- Those Akatsuki... They did something to you. You don't have to take responsibility for this-"
"Shut up! ... Dammit, she's getting away. Give me one reason I shouldn't just kill you right now... my lady."
"Because... Because I can still see... the will of fire in your eyes."
I saw your sickness
I am the witness
Need to amputate the curse
Before it gets worse
"Is that...No... How could you?! What is wrong with you?!"
Hidan squeezes my injured hand,"Quiet, kid, before I gut you and hand you over myself. Kuzu knows what he's doing..."
The tears I held back from the pain are flowing now...
"Well, well. It seems you leaf ninja have given me more than I asked for. I'm surprised."
"And? Are you going to give us what we asked for?" Ino's eyes are colder and colder... And yet...
Kakuzu grunted, something that felt more like a laugh than a confirmation. "I don't believe you did."
"What?"
Live or die
Either is fine
"Inooo! Come OUT, come OUT... All these poor dead ninja here... You left them all to die at my hand... You wouldn't abandon the Hokage of the Hidden Leaf with a rampaging monster would you? You're either SCARED... or your cocky. All these lives didn't matter, huh? Like mine? Is that what a true leaf ninja does? Guess I was going about it all wrong!"
This is all just so... infuriating. What did I ever do to deserve this? This fate? What evil could I have possibly become to make them betray me like this? I never did anything. All I wanted... Well... Now, all I want it to make them pay.
"What. A. Drag. You're making this waay more difficult than it needs to be..." Navigating through the many halls and corridors, I find Asuma's cloths, his headband, and Hidan's pendant.
You're dying slow
I hope you know
"So tell me... Ino, was it? How long until it wears off?"
Kakashi's eyes are too still, Choiji's are too anxious. And Ino. Ino is too confident.
"I don't know what you're talking about- We gave you what you wanted, now give us Shikamaru!"
I can see Kakashi's teeth grinding as Kakuzu holds the corpse by his hair. But Ino... is too calm.
"He certainly is a hearty young fellow. How many near-death experiences has he had now?"
It's just so hard to say goodbye
I held a funeral in my mind
Cause on that the day I saw you die
Making it out of the building I know exactly where I am, the light of day burns, but my rage is hotter.
"Really, Ino? Just had to poor salt on the wound... the many, many wounds."
I don't care if you're still alive
It all just happened in my mind
This whole time I've been in the Nara woods... I don't remember there ever being a facility that large on our land. But that doesn't matter now. What's the point in running, hiding, letting me go lose, and leaving the Hokage behind... Hidan was right, something is very wrong about all this.
She's up to something.
"Whatever you have planned... You know it's pointless. Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not Shikamaru!" I know she can hear me. "Maybe, I'm not even alive! But I have alll his memories. All of them." Most of them. "Anything you try and pull, heh, I know you too well. I know all your strengths... and all your weaknesses!"
I sound like a mad man. It's not just maybe. I'm definitely not myself. Whether I was before or after the torture is out of my scope to comprehend.
Shuffling behind me, I wouldn't have heard it if they didn't want me to, I turn, "Choji."
"You're right... There's no point in trying to fight you..." He's choking back tears, "That's why.. they are."
Forced myself to leave behind you
Maybe I need some time
To remove my reflection from your eyes
"You can't possibly be that foolish. Was he to ambush us later on? So you would get your friend back and kill two S Class criminals in one tricky deal. How very naive."
"Oy, Kuzu... uh... mind cluing me in? 'Cause, uh, y'know, I thought we were keepin' 'em. C'mon, he's like a lil' lost puppy dog, I'll feed him and train him-" Hidan squeezes my hand tight enough to break the metacarpals, his other hand ruffling my hair, though it felt more like a threat, and a taunt.
"Oh, we are indeed keeping the new dog," he pulls out a large blade and holds it to the corpse' throat, "Just not his previous owner."
A chariot
Dressed in black
I'll read your parting hymns
There's no turning back
"He's alive... He's alive, stop stop stop, Kakuzu, stop, please! Gahh!"
"Sorry kid, can't have you getting in the way now, can we?" HIdan's black spike has me pinned to the motel wall, in my gut, "And just to be sure," he takes a smaller blade and uses it to pin my good arm. "And to be extra sure," that damn blind-fold. Just when I thought he was on my side. Who was I kidding. These are monsters. Killers. They killed me, and they are about to kill everyone I care about.
"Ino! Choji! Everyone, run, leave me! You can't take them, you can't- MMF-!"
"And that's just 'cause you're giving me a blazing fucking headache. What is it with you goodie-goodies and all the damn yelling?" I hear his knuckles popping, "Ok Kuzu, I'm starting to get bored. You said we weren't killing no one, so what's with all the theatrics?"
"Stop calling me that. We're leaving. These one's aren't worth the time. And time-"
"Is money, yeah, yeah, can't I kill just one of them? Pretty please? Pretty fuckin' please?"
"Why do you think I'm saving this one for you? Besides... we'll be seeing at least one of them again. Very soon."
"Awww, you sweet thoughtful mother fucker you..."
I have to do something... fast.
I'll make you cry
But a little lost love is a love not meant to be
I'm a lone survivor or the only one that didn't flee
Carry out your casket
I didn't ask yet
if it's appropriate to pretend we haven't met yet
"Choji... You were there." I can sense them closing in. "Why..." He turns swiftly and begins to run without another word. "Oh no you don't! Get back here!" He's not fast enough to lose me, I'm right on his tail, I know we're being followed, yet they aren't closing in, "Why, Choji?! You knew- you knew what she was doing to me!"
I attempt to use my shadow possession jutsu, but find that despite my physical strength restored, my chakra is still nearly gone. And I was never the most athletic shinobi. But he doesn't seem to know that I'm at my limit, staying just out of reach of anything I might try. I'm not just being followed. I'm being lead.
Continue grieving
You're leaving
There's a thousand ways to say goodbye but I'm the one still breathing
"Answer me! Chojiii!"
Live or die
Either is fine
Before I had a chance to think of anything, there was a crack of thunder, a soft chittering whine, and someone screaming out commands that I couldn't seem to make out through the ringing in my ears.
"...!"
"What?!"
"I said! Run!"
The blind fold comes off, Kakuzu looks pissed with a hole in his chest, and the corpse...
"It wasn't him..."
"Are you listening?!"
"It wasn't... him."
Where I thought Kakashi was, Aoba stood. And where Asuma hung from Kakuzu's grasp, Kakashi plunged in fist into Kakuzu's chest...
"It wasn't him."
You're dying slow
I hope you know
I can see Ino up ahead, who runs alongside Choji as we go farther into the woods. I'm so angry I don't even notice the followers anymore. My head is pounding with adrenaline, I don't even really believe I can take them both on on my own, even if I do know their strengths.
I don't want to fight them. I want to know why.
It's just so hard to say goodbye
I held a funeral in my mind
Why did they do this to me? Why did they trick me?
Cause on that the day I saw you die
I don't care if you're still alive
Why did they let me die? Why did Jashin choose me? Why won't they answer me?!
It all just happened in my mind
Forced myself to leave behind you
Why did this happen to me?
Maybe I need some time
To remove my reflection from your eyes
Why me? Why can't I be me? Why... why did they have to change. Was it me? Or was this in them the whole time? Were they ever my friends? Why does this have to be so complicated? Why do I feel hesitant? Why can't I decide...
My country... or my God.
You propose if we put both our heads together
Pull the trigger
They didn't let me die. I can't blame them for that.
But I can blame them for everything that came after.
Bleed into me
In hopes that at least
You'll be the last thing that keeps me
From forgetting completely
I don't remember what happened to Kakuzu. Kakashi struck him right in the heart, so he must be dead. And Hidan, he must be searching for me, somewhere. He saved me yet again. Gave me the strength to escape my prison. But, he killed me first. He let me get taken in the first place. So I guess he and I are even now. I don't owe him shit.
But I'll protest
You caused this mess
I need to defeat you
Before I become you
Finally the running ends, they turn to face me. I'm feeling fatigued. My injuries are extensive, one sacrifice, and a rushed one, was not enough. No use in pointing fingers now.
But the more I look at her face... the angrier I get.
"This hurts me more than it hurts you..." A wave of her hand, and I'm not fast enough to move before I surrounded by flying daggers. None of them penetrate the flesh, but I cannot move.
Another familiar face, "I'm so sorry.."
"Dad?"
With a melancholy stare
Emotions stripped bare
It all just happened so fast. Everything. From shaking hands with the devil, to seeing all of the people I love turn on me, now being wrapped in paper bombs... What a drag...
I can't fight, I can only stare into her icy blue eyes and wonder... why.
You've dug your grave
Now lay down and behave
Her fingers twitch. Her teeth are grinding. A drip of sweat.
I'm captured, had, trapped. What has her so unnerved?
"You shouldn't be here..."
"I thought I should come to my sons funeral."
"I told you... it's not him."
Lay down and behave
"... I know."
It's just so hard to say goodbye
I held a funeral in my mind
"He'll find me. He will. I'll be back. I'll be back. You'll pay for this, for everything, for ever making me believe you were my friend, for ever believing you were human. I'll be back before you know it! Haha... I'll fucking kill you, you bitch..."
Cause on that the day I saw you die
Choji and Shikaku turn away, as Ino throws a dagger at a mark to the side. The ground crumbles beneath me.
I don't care if you're still alive
It just happened in my mind
Lay down and behave
She flicks Asuma's lighter, clumsily. Hastily. I will be back. Every little detail counts.
Forced myself to leave behind you
Maybe I need some time
I can't speak, the pain, the ringing, this is the worse pain, worse than all that torture... Can't see past the red, the smoke, the pain...
To remove my reflection from your eyes
Faint groaning, muffled struggling, one silhouette above me.
Lay down and behave
Lay down and behave
Lay down and behave
"Shikamaru... h-help...me..."
"I.. Ino?"
Lay down in your grave