Chapter Nine: Ai shiteru

Ashitaka-sama's death sentence was today. She still remembered the words that he told her almost a week ago. "Don't be imprisoned by fear, Moro. It will destroy you. Have courage." How could she not be afraid? The death of the man that she adored as a mentor and friend was near. How could she suffer in silence?

Moro's mother and the others, including Hikaru, bore no remorse over Ashitaka-sama's deeds. They all felt he deserved it, the death sentence. Moro couldn't understand. It was then that she realized that she would never understand them. She was alone.

"Moro?" Her brother's voice broke into her thoughts. She looked up to see her brother's concerned face. His eyes were sharp with fear.

"Moro," Hikaru began, putting down his newly-made sword for the many men that were still fighting the Emishi people searching for their lost prince – Ashitaka-sama. Moro could still not believe Ashitaka-sama's revelations. "After my curse was lifted, I did not want to go back to my people. I found a home and a family here. To them forever, I was dead."

"It's not your fault." Hikaru began again, holding Moro close. "He made a terrible mistake that cost Eboshi-sama her life, but his actions are not your fault. You were blind to the truth, like us." Hikaru stopped speaking, noticing the rage in Moro's eyes. "He deserves this, Moro!" He shook her.

"He doesn't deserve this." Moro spoke, her voice soft and defeated. Hikaru started. "His people exiled him. They didn't want him back, back then." she looked at her brother with overcoming sadness in her eyes. "What happened to Eboshi," she emphasized their former leader's name, "was not his fault."

"He allowed them to come and attack our village, and to an extent, he caused Eboshi-sama's untimely death along with other innocents!" Hikaru bellowed. He was unable to control his feelings any longer. He pulled roughly away from his sister. "He should be held responsible!"

"Ashitaka-sama did this to protect his family, Hikaru. Why can't you understand?" Moro asked her brother, her voice rising with each word.

"I can't understand because there was always something going on in his head." Hikaru spat. "Something we don't understand. Even you don't understand. I know he's like a father to you, Moro, but you have to face it! He is wrong!"

Hikaru realized what he had just said. It was too late to take them back now; the damage was all ready done. Moro exited out the door.

Moro walked absentmindedly out of Hikaru's blacksmith shop. Hikaru was right. There was something going on in Ashitaka-sama's head, ever since she ever met him. His eyes had a faraway gaze to them, as if he was seeing something she couldn't see. Now Moro knew. He was thinking about the day the demon boar, Nago, had cursed him. It was the day that changed his life.

Did she love Ashitaka-sama as a father, Moro wondered. She remembered the time when he was teaching her how to use a bow and arrow, then a sword. It was the first few lessons she had learned when she had begun her apprenticeship with him. Moro remembered too, that Ashitaka-sama had listened to her when no one else would. Her father viewed her warmly, but had not time to bother with her problems. The same was with her mother and brother. Ashitaka-sama would listen to her calmly, not interrupting at all. When she was done, he would often give her advice, or simply wait until she came to her own solution. Yes, Moro, decided, he was like a father to her.

As Moro walked into the prison cell for the last time, she felt her scar. Like Ashitaka-sama, a slim scar appeared on her right cheek just below her eye. She wondered if it meant something.

"Ashitaka-sama?" Moro whispered. Inside the cell there was nothing but darkness.

"Moro-chan?"

Moro crept forward until she felt his hands touch hers. Moro drew in a breath. His hands were cold as ice.

"Ashitaka-sama," Moro fought to bring her voice calm, "how are you feeling?"

Ashitaka-sama sat up, and with dread Moro realized that his body had a grayish tinge to it. He leaned on her.

"I...am dying." He coughed. Blood dribbled down his chin.

"They...haven't been feeding me for a while now." Ashitaka-sama said, rising to his feet. Moro could hear his breath come into gasps.

"Because of what you did?"

Ashitaka-sama nodded.

Before she could speak, Ashitaka-sama started to sway. Moro hurriedly caught him before he fell.

"Moro-chan," Ashitaka-sama began weakly, "I have something to tell you. Something I should have told you long ago."

"Yes?" Moro eyed Ashitaka-sama clouded gaze.

"Okkoto and Nago are not San's only children. There was another. She was the only girl." Ashitaka-sama paused, drawing a deep breath. "When she came into the world, she did not breathe. Her father, desperate to save her, breathed for her. It was only then that she did cry. But the mother would not accept her. "'She is weak,'" she said. The mother ordered the father to kill her." Ashitaka-sama took another breath. "The father could not. Instead, he hid her away, keeping an eye on her as she was raised by another couple with their son. The father named. Her name was Moro, named after San's mother, the Wolf God." Ashitaka-sama paused, breathing while Moro was shaking with shock. "Do you know what I mean?" he asked Moro.

"No." Moro said. The information and shock were swirling around in her head.

"You are my daughter, Moro." Ashitaka-sama held her hand as he spoke. "You are the daughter of San, the Mononoke-hime, and the sister of Okkoto and Nago. Kamiguchi Toki and Kouroku are not your mother and father. Hikaru is not your brother."

All was silent in the prison cell.

At last Moro spoke. "Wakarimasen." she uttered. "Wakarimasen."

"Gomen nasai, Moro-chan." Ashitaka-sama whispered, tracing his daughter's face. "I should have told you." He sighed, weakening again.

"It doesn't matter now." Moro supported her father as she stood. "What should we do?" she whispered to herself.

Ashitaka-sama had heard. "Go to the East. Find Kaya, my sister. If anyone can stop this madness, it's her. Go now." he said.

"Otosan-" Moro stopped, realizing what she had called him. The words sounded foreign on her tongue. She tried again. "Otosan, what about you?" she asked.

He was silent. Then, "You'll have to kill me."

"W – what?" Moro could not understand what she was hearing.

"The best way to escape would be to kill me." He put his arm around her. "If you kill me, a criminal, then no would bother to look for you." His eyes – no, her eyes, too – met hers. "You have to find my sister before war destroys the world as we know it."

"Where should I aim?" Those words were the only ones that came to mind.

"Right here." Ashitaka-sama pointed to his chest. "I'll die instantly."

"Why?" Moro could help whispering. "Why you?"

Ashitaka-sama smiled sadly. "I caused all this, Moro-chan." He explained gently. "It's fitting that I should pay for it. You are no longer my apprentice, Moro. And that means you are a child no longer."

Tears threatened to blind Moro's vision, but she pushed them away. Screaming a battle cry, she aimed at her father's chest.

There was much more blood than she imagined. It was on her hands, her face, and on her own chest. What scared her most was Ashitaka-sama's face. His eyes were empty.

"Ashitaka-sama," Moro thickly whispered. With difficulty, she pulled out the sword that took his life.

Her sword.

Gently, she laid Ashitaka-sama's body to the ground.

"Moro-chan." It was very weak, but it was Ashitaka-sama's voice. Blood escaped from his mouth. Moro edged closer to him. "I believe in you...musume. Ai shiteru." The last word was forced, and so weak Moro could barely hear it. But she did.

Ashitaka-sama's body was still. Then he closed his eyes.

He was gone.

Moro ran.