Songs and lyrics I do not own in this chapter-
Perfect, (My fav version) by Boyce Avenue
Crazy Love, (My fav version) by Jason Manns and Jensen Ackles
Falling In Love In A Coffee Shop, by Landon Pigg
Warning: This chapter gets pretty smutty. You're welcome :)
Chapter 10. Pre-phase Deployment
Dean loosened his tie and leaned back in his chair. It had been a beautiful wedding. Anyone in the Army wore their dress blues, while Charlie and Dorothy both wore beautiful gowns. Dean still felt warm and fuzzy from having the honor of walking Charlie down the aisle. It was not a huge wedding, neither girls having much family, but there were plenty of friends. The meal was finally being served. Dean's stomach was quite sure his throat had been slit five hours ago. A plate of burgers, fries, tots, fried green beans and cauliflower had just been sat down in front of him. He literally had to stop himself from drooling. He turned a surprised look at Charlie, who caught his eye and winked. "My girl!" Dean yelled, pointing at Charlie.
She blew him a kiss and he dug in.
"Well I neva," Benny said, shaking his head. "I Neva heard o burgers at a weddin."
"Just eat it and enjoy," Dean warned.
Dean found Cas across the crowded room, sitting at a table with Gabe. He watched him as he ate quietly. Gabe was chattering to the whole table, but Cas was quiet. He looked stunning in his dress blues and tan Ranger hat. The blues made his eyes absolutely glow. Dean was sure to look away frequently, but his eyes always gravitated back.
He caught Cas' eye and froze mid chew. Cas winked and grinned slightly. Dean grinned and felt a warm wave wash over him. He winked back and looked back at Jo, who was talking to him. Everyone at his table seemed unaware, so Dean tried to keep his eyes away.
As the meal finished, the cake was cut and then dancing started. Dean froze when he saw Cas walking toward him. 'Oh shit! What is he doing? Did he give up just that quick? Was he-'
Cas walked passed him, never making eye contact. Dean watched as he approached the brides. 'He's saying goodbye. He's leaving.'
Dean wanted to run after him as he walked out the door alone. He suddenly felt sad. Alone. He turned back to Sam and Benny laughing at Cole telling a story about meeting Charlie. He felt numb suddenly. There was no way he was leaving early. Not if Charlie had any say and it was her day. He got up and went to the bar for a drink. It was going to be a long night.
The following Tuesday, Dean left work and went home to check on Sam. "Hey."
Sam looked up from a book he was reading. "Hey."
"You got plans tonight?" He hung his hat on the hook by the door and pulled his flack jacket off.
"No. Just reading. I don't get to read much anymore," Sam said distractedly.
"Now, I know that's just not true. Because I paid for all those damn books in August!"
Sam rolled his eyes. "I mean light reading. Not serious reading."
Dean squinted in thought. "There's a difference?"
Sam chuckled, sitting the book down.
"I'm going out. I just wanted to make sure you were good."
Sam squinted in thought. "Where ya goin?"
Dean rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm meeting up with someone."
Sam stood up, coming closer to Dean, his eyes still squinted. "Is it Cas?"
Dean pursed his lips. "Yeah."
"Dean," Sam said, worried.
"Look, we hooked up again last week. But we are keeping it TOTALLY on the DL. Like, not even Charlie."
Sam raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you wanna do that?"
"Yes."
"It could cost your job."
"Yes."
"Is this going to be like how it was with Lisa? You fight, you make up, you're despondent, you get along, you fight-"
"I get it!" Dean raised a hand. "And I was not despondent. Ever."
"Oh, okay," Sam rolled his eyes again.
"No. It is not going to be like that. If things change, I'll let you know. But ya can't say anything to anyone."
"Okay, okay! Scouts honor, or whatever."
"You were never a scout."
Sam grinned, "but I ate a couple brownies!"
Dean laughed. "I am going out. If anyone calls or stops, tell them I went for a run and I'm, I don't know, bein' a jerk."
"Even Benny?"
"Especially Benny."
"Alright."
"You good for dinner?" Dean asked as he headed into his room to change.
"Yeah, I'm good." Sam called.
Dean came back out in jogging clothes and a small bag in his hand.
"Dude, you're dressing for the part?" Sam grinned.
"Yeah. It's like being on a mission, man."
Dean pulled into the Sunset Motel an hour later. He checked into room 108 and went in, leaving the door open.
Twenty minutes later, Cas came in sporting a big grin.
"Is this Lonsom Mosley's room?"
"Why yes, it is," Dean grinned.
Cas shut and locked the door and walked over to Dean who was sitting at the small table.
"You must be Eddie," Dean said in a gravely voice.
"Mmm," Cas grinned, pulling Dean up into his arms.
"God, I missed you," Dean said, kissing him with heat and wrapping his arms tightly around him.
"You looked so handsome at the wedding," Cas said, pulling back and pulling his own shirt off.
Dean's pulse quickened immediately. "You looked incredible. It was really hard to keep my hands off you."
Cas pulled Dean's shirt off and ran his hands down Dean's sides, letting them rest on his hips, squeezing firmly.
"You were definitely having trouble keeping your eyes off me," Cas grinned, pulling Dean over to the bed.
"Saw that, huh?" Dean's eyes clouded.
"I saw," Cas' face sobered somewhat. "No one else seemed to notice. Not even Gabriel."
"That's good," Dean murmured. He sat on the edge of the bed, bowed knees spread and leaning back onto his hands. "I'll have to work on that."
Cas grinned, running a hand down his cheek. "Worst case scenario, I lose my job and so do you." His look was intense now. "I would still have you."
"Huh," Dean laughed. "I can't say that's much of a payoff."
"Dean, to find someone you love in this world is monumental. It's worth everything."
Cas put one knee on the bed and gripped Dean, sliding him up the bed, swinging a leg over him so he was straddling him. He ran his hands up Dean's chest and back down slowly.
Dean took in a slow, deep breath and let it out just as slow. "I love you."
Cas' eyes found his with a tiny smile. "I love you."
He leaned down over him, taking his mouth in a slow, heating passion.
Two and a half hours later, after what Dean had to summarize as the first time in his life he had truly made love to someone, they found themselves wound around each other in a tangle. Cas' head lay on the center of Dean's chest.
His hand ran down the expanse of smooth skin, finding every scar and curve. 'Someday I will know how every scar got here. Everything about him. His past. What he does all day. His plans for the future.' His fingers curled possessively into Cas' dark, silky hair. 'But not today.'
Cas lifted his head, looking at Dean. "I better get up before I fall asleep here."
Dean kissed his forehead. "Me too." They exchanged a look of disappointment, but said nothing.
They dressed and sat at the small table.
"Here," Dean said, offering Cas a bottle of water.
"I'm good," Cas said, with that look he got every time Dean gave him water.
Dean squinted in thought. Maybe tonight they had time for a little delving.
"Cas, will you tell me what happened with water? You never want to drink unless I drink it first. What happened?"
Cas stiffened in his seat, eyes downcast and a look of discomfort crossed his face.
"Cas," Dean coaxed, reaching over and taking his hand.
Cas cleared his throat. "I would rather not talk about it."
Dean turned in the chair, pulling Cas' hand to his mouth. He placed his mouth against Cas' knuckles. "I want to know. Come on man. I love you."
Cas sighed. "I...it's..."
Cas pulled his hand back gently, fidgeting.
Dean sat patiently.
Cas looked away, pressing his lips together in thought. "During my...detainment...they did not feed me or give me water. After some of the questioning...I was in rough shape."
"You mean after they broke your fingers?"
"Yes." Cas looked down at his still bandaged fingers. "They tried water boarding, but I am pretty good at tolerating that."
Dean swallowed hard. It was hard to just sit there and not touch him. Hold him. But he could tell that Cas wanted some space.
"They find ways of figuring out what you struggle with most. And they did." Cas leaned down, forearms resting on his thighs. "I really don't want to tell you this. It's gross."
Dean reached forward, cupping Cas' cheek. "It's over, Cas. You can tell me. At least I can understand."
Cas nodded, eyes still downcast. "They made me drink urine. A lot of it. They saw how disgusted I was and just kept doing it."
Dean swallowed hard. He wanted to kill all of them. Anyone who ever laid an unfriendly hand on him.
"They have ways of making you swallow. And if I threw it up, which I did, they caught it in a bucket and..."
"Made you drink it again," Dean guessed.
Cas nodded.
"I'm so sorry, Cas." Dean took one of his fidgeting hands in his.
Cas nodded. "It was just so...disgusting. I still feel...gross."
Dean stood, pulling Cas to his feet as well. "It was disgusting," Dean said, making Cas look him in the eyes. "But you are not." He pulled Cas back over to the bed, laying him back on it and laying with him. "And your mouth has been thoroughly cleaned."
Cas just looked at him, eyes open.
"Let's just make sure," Dean grinned. He leaned in and kissed him. He wanted to take all Cas' fears away. Cover every bit of that mouth with himself.
Cas opened up to him. Took him with need. Finally, they both lay back, tired and comforted.
"Cas, you don't ever have to be afraid to tell me about what makes you, you."
Cas rolled over, hugging him close. "Thank you. I love you."
"I love you too. But I do know that you need to drink water. So, if this helps, then I'm glad you told me. I'm glad you told me anyway."
"Me too. It does help."
Dean hugged him tight. After a time, they sat up. Cas stood up with renewed vigor. He went to the table and took a bottled water, opened it and drank half. He turned and grinned at Dean.
Dean followed suit. "Hey, I did tell Sam where I was going."
Cas winced. "He probably doesn't think too much of me."
"Nah, I told him some. If I'm happy, he's happy."
Cas grinned. "I can only hope. I know how protective brothers can be."
Dean raised an eyebrow. "Should I be worried?"
"No," Cas chuckled. "Gabe knows what Fer has been doing. He knows I broke up with you."
"Well, Sam wants to meet you again. So, can we do some kind of get-together?"
"Of course," Cas grinned. "Bring him along next Tuesday. I will bring dinner."
"And eat in this crappy motel room?" Dean laughed.
Cas shrugged and Dean sighed. "Sounds good," Dean relented.
Silence fell for a few moments. Neither wanted to leave, but it was getting late.
"I'll go first," Cas said, standing. "I'll see you Friday. Same place, same time?"
"Yeah," Dean said, standing.
Cas kissed him. "Love you."
"Love you too."
Dean sat back down as the door closed. He felt as though he could sit in the crappy chair he was in until Friday. But he heaved himself up and bided his time, leaving an hour later.
Friday was better. They were able to stay all night together. They made more plans for meetings and talked about their deployment preparations.
Tuesday, Sam came along. "Dude, this is so weird."
Dean rolled his eyes. "It's the only way, Sammy."
The brothers sat down at the small table, pulling it over to the bed for a third seat. Cas came in, bringing Chinese.
"Hello, Dean, Sam," Cas said, sitting the bag down on the table and taking his long coat off.
"I gotta ask," Dean grinned, pulling out containers, "What's up with the trench coat?"
"It looks...nice," Cas defended.
"You look like a stalker," Dean laughed.
"Don't mind Dean, he grew up in white trash. He's kinda sheltered," Sam said.
Cas grinned. "I'm so glad you came, Sam."
"Whatever. Keep your coat. You look...mysterious in it," Dean leaned over and kissed Cas, not even thinking about Sam being there.
Sam grimaced, "I'd tell ya to get a room, but..."
"Hilarious," Dean smirked.
As they ate, Sam told stories about he and Dean's childhood. Cas told stories about him and Gabe.
"I kinda wish I hadn't been such a dick to Gabe now," Sam said.
Cas laughed. "I heard all about that. You made quite the impression."
"Oh, God. He probably hates me."
"Quite the opposite, he thinks you are most charming and can't wait to run into you again."
"Oh, God," Dean sighed.
Sam shook his head. "I don't usually act like that," Sam blushed, "and I wasn't even mad at him, I was mad at you."
Cas nodded, sobering. "I'm sure."
"I mean, it all worked out. I'm glad you two were able to make a way."
Dean smiled and Cas nodded again.
Their meal passed pleasantly and the evening was over too quickly.
"I'm glad we got to talk again, Sam," Cas said.
"Yeah, me too. And here's my number, in case you need anything. Or need me to get a message to Dean." He left the two alone to say goodbye.
Cas sighed. "I think that went well."
Dean chuckled. "You're adorable."
They said their goodbyes and Dean left.
Friday, Dean arrived first to the motel. He put his Christmas presents for Cas next to a miniature orange tree he had also bought Cas. He turned the TV on and laid down to wait.
He woke to the door opening. It was fully dark out now and Dean sat up, blinking.
"Hey, what time is it?" He grumbled.
"Past 0100. I was afraid you would have left," Cas said, sitting on the bed next to Dean. "I couldn't get away any quicker. Sorry."
Dean woke more and grinned. "Nah, glad you could get here at all. What's this?"
Cas sat a bag down on the floor. "It's the last time I will see you before Christmas, so I brought gifts."
Dean pointed to the little tree on the table with the stack of presents.
"Aw, what is that?" Cas asked walking over to the tree.
"It's a miniature orange tree. I thought of you when I saw it. It says it attracts bees and I know you have a thing for bees."
Cas smiled and kissed him.
"Okay, let's do this!" Dean clapped. Cas sat at the table, putting his two gifts with Dean's stack. Cas pulled out a disposable camera.
"It's our first Christmas, we have to have pictures," he said, shrugging.
They took pictures as they unwrapped and several selfies of the two of them.
Dean gave Cas an iPod with a playlist of songs he had of him and Jason, a kit of beeswax products, and a '67 Chevy t-shirt. The car on it looked like the one Dean had fixed in Cas' garage. Cas had given him a Winchester handgun with an engraved body. Dean was shocked and held it reverently in his hands.
"It's a Winchester," Cas shrugged shyly. They talked about Christmases past and talked long into the night about their families and how they grew up. In the wee hours of the morning, they fell asleep. Dean had never spent time with someone like this. Cut off from the world.
Tuesday evening, Dean arrived to an empty room. He turned on the TV and laid down to wait.
Dean's alarm woke him up. He had slept the entire night at the motel and Cas had not come. Dean left, to head home. It was a quiet ride. A quiet morning.
Friday came and went with no Cas. Dean slept at the motel again, in case he showed up late.
Tuesday came and Dean drove to the motel. He stayed until midnight and left. He tried not to let it bother him. He stuffed his frustrations and worries down, flipping on the radio.
The following week, Sam had to return to school. "Dean, I can fly home and say goodbye in a few weeks."
"No, Sam." Dean shoved another duffel bag into his trunk. "It's better this way."
Sam sighed. "You got me way too much stuff for Christmas. It's gonna cost a ton to fly an extra bag back."
Dean grinned. "You needed stuff. I'm gonna be gone awhile. And...damnit. I'm gonna miss you."
Sam bear hugged him tight and Dean squeezed him back hard.
"Love you, Dean. Please be safe."
Dean swallowed back tears, "I will be safe. And I'll call when I can. You be safe. Call Jody if you need anything or need to get ahold of me."
They stepped apart and Sam wiped tears away.
"Aw, come on, man!" Dean laughed, voice trembling. He ruffled Sam's hair and Sam batted his hand away.
"Love you too, Sammy."
Dropping Sam off at the airport sucked. Dean had to admit, he was rather attached to his brother. But he was in a better place than the last time Dean was deployed. Last time, he was still with their dad. Now he was safely at Stanford.
Dean arrived back home to Benny sitting in the driveway.
"Hey, brotha," Benny said.
"Hey, Benny."
"Sammy gone?"
"Yeah. Flyin' about now."
"Thought we could work on that old Charger you bought for Sam."
"Yeah, yeah. That'd be good." Dean needed busy work. And he needed his friend back to normal too. They pulled the hood up and stood there, deciding what to get into next. Another car pulled up and then a second. Dean came around the car, seeing Jo and Charlie pulling in.
"I didn't know we were having a party," Dean called as the pair came up the driveway.
"Yeah, a pity party," Jo half grinned, slugging Dean on the shoulder.
Dean smirked.
By 2200 they were done replacing the carburetor and had rust sanded off an entire door. Dean had picked up the poor heap for $1,000 as a hobby and a way to have a car ready for Sam by his second year of college when he was allowed to have one on campus.
The girls headed home, leaving Dean and Benny at the kitchen table.
"Guess I should head out," Benny said, standing.
Dean got to his feet as well. "Glad you came over, man. It was good to be distracted."
Benny smiled, Dean returning it.
"Dean, I was wonderin' if you wanted to go see a movie with me this weekend."
Dean's eyes squinted and he crossed his arms over his chest automatically. "You mean as friends...right?"
Benny blushed and stepped toward him, Dean already leaning against the counter, had no where to go.
"If I wanted it to be somethin' more?" His blue eyes searched Dean's. They were the wrong blue. The wrong hands. The wrong everything. Dean held both hands up in a wall to block him. Benny stopped moving.
"No, Benny, I'm not interested like that!"
Benny nodded, looking away. "Alright."
Dean stepped aside, putting some distance between them. "Benny, we been friends a long time. I don't want there to be a problem between us." He looked at Benny who was looking embarrassed. "Do we have a problem?"
"Nah, man. I get it. I got it." He grabbed his coat, pulling it on. "But Dean, I hope you aren't still after that Cas guy."
"No, I'm not chasing anyone that doesn't want me."
Benny nodded. "I won't ask again. But if you ever change your mind..."
Dean gave him a warning look.
Benny left and Dean sighed heavily. "Where the hell are you Cas?"
Friday night rolled around finally. The weather was cold and sleet covered everything making the trip to their motel room slippery. Dean unlocked the door and flipped the light on in the empty room. He sat at the small table with a burger and fries. He got Cas a meal too, but felt quite sure he would be eating alone again tonight. He pulled two sodas out of a bag but they were half warm. He walked down to the ice machine to fill a bucket with ice. As he leaned over the bin, scooping, he heard someone approach him, feeling them come right into his personal space. Body tensing from reflexes, he straightened and turned quickly to find himself pinned up against the machine and looking into the blue eyes he had missed so much.
"Cas!"
Cas grinned, kissing him. He pulled back, glancing around, "Hello, Dean."
Dean's equilibrium righted itself and he took the bucket from the ice.
They went back to their room without another word. Cas took the sodas and shoved them down into the ice.
Dean could not stop the smile that was plastered to his face. Cas was back. A sudden surge of need overtook him. As Cas turned back to him, Dean crashed into him, pressing him back against the wall. "I fuckin' missed you," he growled, kissing him.
"Me too," Cas managed between kisses. Dean shoved his trench coat off, his shirt was gone in one fluid sweep. Cas had his hands on Dean's shirt, pulling at it.
"I want you so bad," Dean growled, biting and sucking down his neck. Cas gasped, pulling Dean's shirt off finally.
Dean undid Cas' belt, button and fly, Cas still pressed hard to the wall. Dean pushed his pants to the floor, stepping on them and helping Cas pull out of them, his mouth never leaving Cas'.
"I have a surprise for you," Cas gasped, his hands gripping hard at Dean's hips.
"Yeah? What?" Dean asked between bites on Cas' right nipple. He stopped, taking Cas' right hand in his. "You got your splints off!" He said, marveling at the free hand.
Cas grinned, hair wild and eyes full of lust. "Yeah, that's not the surprise though."
"What is it?" Dean grinned.
"I'm wearing it."
Dean glanced down at Cas' naked body, looked at both hands now and gave him a questioning look. "You're not wearin' anything anymore."
"Yeah, I am. One thing."
Dean took both of Cas hands in his, their eyes searing into each other's. He raised Cas' hands above his head, pinning them to the wall. He ran his other hand down his arm and his side. Cas shivered and bucked his hips toward Dean's rubbing his naked cock against Dean's still buttoned jeans. Both men groaned. As a sudden thought hit Dean and he turned Cas around, still pressing him to the wall. His free hand roamed down to Cas' ass, rubbing. His hand hit a hard nub.
"Fuck," Dean groaned. He looked down and saw what he had suddenly hoped for. Cas had a plug in. Dean grabbed the end of it and moved it up and down slightly. "Well," he growled, pressing himself against Cas, mouth to his ear, "lookie what I found!"
"Surprise," Cas half gasped, his eyes closing with Dean moving it.
"You put this in for me?" Dean said, biting his ear, making Cas gasp again as he pulled it out a bit and pushed it back in.
"For you," Cas moaned.
"You put a plug in so you were ready for me." He bit and sucked Cas' neck and shoulder, fucking him with the plug.
Cas moaned again, hips moving the little room they had. "Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you?"
"Yes!" Cas said, his head lolling back, giving Dean more room to suck and bite.
Dean spiraled and pulled the plug out, dropping it. He undid his own pants, pulling his dick out and nosing it against the lubed and ready hole.
"Yes! Dean!" Cas whined, pressing back into him and grinding.
"You fuckin' couldn't wait," Dean said excitedly, feeling Cas trembling.
He pressed his dick inside slowly.
Cas was more than ready, slamming back onto Dean. "You're so fuckin ready!"
Dean still had Cas' wrists pinned to the wall above his head and his free hand grabbed Cas' hip so hard it left marks. He fucked into him, Cas crying out.
"You wanted it hard and fast, no waiting," Dean huffed, grabbing Cas' leg and lifting it in the crook of his elbow. He slammed over and over, slapping skin and grunts and groans. "How long you been wearin' that for me?" Dean huffed out.
"Over an hour," Cas moaned.
"That is so fuckin' hot, Cas! I bet you're ready to cum! Cum all over that wall!"
Cas hollered and Dean felt his own orgasm barreling through him. Cum shot up the wall and his muscles clenched incredibly hard, Dean filling him over and over. He let Cas' leg drop down and he pumped several more times, his chest sliding against Cas' sweating back.
"Fuck," they both moaned.
Dean bit down on Cas' shoulder. He could feel every muscle in his back flex and relax against his chest and abdomen.
Dean ran his free hand up, taking Cas' hands in his as they both heaved for air, pressed against the wall for support.
Dean pulled his hips back, his softened dick sliding out, cum running.
"You are," Dean said, raining kisses down Cas' neck and back, "the hottest fucking person in the whole world."
Cas laughed, his head against the wall. "You are the hottest person in the world."
"Mm, we're just gonna have to disagree on that."
Dean leaned his weight off of Cas, standing and turning Cas in his arms to hug him. They both gasped weakly as their sensitive dicks rubbed against each other.
They took the two short steps to the bed, flopping down on it in exhaustion.
"I missed you," Cas said.
"I believe you," Dean laughed.
They got up and went to the bathroom to wipe up. Dean was standing at the sink washing the wash cloth out when he felt Cas' hands turn him by his hips. Cas was sitting on the edge of the tub. "Wash this," he said, handing Dean the plug.
Dean watched as Cas pulled him over slightly and was almost lost when Cas started sucking his dick. He was still soft, but with Cas' intent mouth and hands, he was hardening again. "Jesus, Cas," Dean moaned. Cas tapped the plug and Dean made an attempt to wash it while Cas sucked him steadily, his fingers, two now, probing and stretching him. He had no clear thoughts on what was happening, just intense bliss.
Cas stretched him and pushed his fingers in, finding the small nub he was looking for. Dean was having a hard time standing on his own, one hand gripping a towel rod, the other clamped onto the sink. He watched as Cas' head of dark hair moved in and out, slurping. A heat coiled low inside him and he could not keep his eyes open any more. "Ooohhh, Caaas," he moaned. "Don't stop...I'm gonna..."
Cas quickened his pace, his finger fluttering against his prostate. He lost all sense of where he was, who he was, only ecstasy flooded him until he flooded Cas' mouth, his throat swallowing and pulling every drop out of him. Cas pulled off and Dean blinked, weak-kneed and semi-conscious. He panted and shivered with lingering waves of orgasm. Cas stood quickly, turned Dean toward the sink, Dean tripping to keep up. He felt something solid slide into his ass.
"What the-"
He looked in the mirror, Cas behind him. "When I'm ready for you, you'll be ready," Cas spoke low into his ear, looking him in the eye in the mirror. He slid the lubed plug in and Dean huffed. Cas, still eyes locked, bit down on Dean's shoulder, making chills race up and down Dean's back. The plug was pressing into his over-sensitized prostate, making Dean shiver. Cas gave him a grin and kissed his cheek, slapping his ass.
Dean laughed, hanging his head in exhaustion. "Fuck, Cas, you're an animal."
Cas chuckled as he left the bathroom. Dean followed, feeling the insistent pressure from the plug.
They pulled on their boxers and sat down to eat. Dean sat gingerly, eyeing Cas with a grin and shaking his head.
They ate every bite, both truly hungry.
"So, you were away, I take it," Dean said through a full mouth.
Cas nodded, swallowing. "It would be the only reason I would not come." Cas took a drink. "I was home two nights and was sent out again. But," and now he grinned, "I will not be deployed again until I leave in a few weeks. So I will be home for sure until you leave."
Dean's shoulders relaxed. "Really? That's great!"
Cas nodded, still grinning. He reached up and squeezed Dean's shoulder. Dean captured the hand and inspected it. The splints and bandages were all gone. No swelling or bruising anymore. Three fingers had small white lines scarring them. Dean kissed each finger.
"How are your fingers?" He asked.
"Good." Cas pulled his hand back and flexed and unflexed the fingers.
"I have managed to unfuck the mess Warren caused. It took a lot of talking. And I am finally out of the whole mess."
"That's good."
"Yeah, well my cover was blown."
"Fer bein' any better?"
"He's a dick."
Dean grimaced. "You're pretty amazing, you know that? Speakin' ten languages, out there bein' the boss. You're quite the bad-ass."
Cas laughed, blushing slightly. "It's eight languages. You're pretty bad-ass yourself."
They finished their meals and moved to the bed to flip channels and just lay together.
"Sam went back," Dean said.
Cas kissed his temple. "Sorry."
"I'm just glad he's safe. Last time he was with Dad and...things got kinda bad. And if he needs anything he can call on Jody, an old family friend of ours."
"He can always call me," Cas sighed, "not that I'm that reliable."
"He knows. And you are as reliable as you can be."
Cas moved, laying over Dean's chest, looking up at him. "Some day, when we get out of this mess, I will be reliable. I will be there for you and Sam."
Dean carded his fingers through Cas' hair. "Me too."
Cas kissed Dean's chest, dragging his stubbly chin across Dean's skin, igniting a path and making him move, making the plug jostle him.
"How are things down here?" Cas said in a gravely voice, sliding his hand down and squeezing Dean's ass cheek.
"Ready and waiting."
"Mmm, I think I'm done waiting."
Cas looked up at him with lust filled eyes and Dean's eyes mirroring that lust.
"I think it's time to get what I so patiently made preparations for."
Excitement ramped up in Dean's chest. He gasped when Cas yanked him down in bed in one swift movement. It shocked him how strong Cas was. Just as he grinned, Cas flipped him over onto his stomach. Dean found that he liked being man-handled by Cas. There was a freedom in giving yourself over to someone who you knew was going to make you explode in wanton ecstasy.
"Now," Cas spoke low into his ear, Dean's head on the thin sheet over the mattress, "It's my turn to ride."
"Oh yeah?" Dean squirmed half-heartedly, making Cas pin him down.
"Yes. And I believe I told you once not to leave any marks on me...so I will definitely be returning the favor."
Dean could feel his dick hardening as Cas bit and sucked on the back of his neck, across his shoulders and down his back. Cas' cock was hard and rubbing against his ass, pushing the plug. He groaned at the rough foreplay, wanting more.
"Get on your hands, Dean," Cas directed.
Dean complied, lifting his chest from the bed, Cas straddling his ass.
"You are so good, Dean." Cas ran his hands in long strokes up his back and back down to his ass. "Behave and I won't have to tie you up."
Dean huffed, grinning. He had never done such things before and the thought provoked a lot of images that made him think misbehaving just might be worth it.
Cas reached around, running his hand up and down Dean's hard cock. "I see that just might appeal to you."
Dean chuckled low, neither denying or admitting it.
"Well, I will have to pack for that," Cas chuckled back, biting Dean's earlobe, making him hiss and rub his ass back into Cas.
Cas took the plug, pushing it in and out gently, working it and re-lubing the area. "You are so ready for me." He plunged the plug in harder and Dean moaned. "Are you ready for me, Dean?"
"Yeah, I'm ready," Dean panted.
"So, fuckin' hot.." Cas murmured against the skin on his back. He slid back, kneeling over Dean's legs and prompted him to raise his ass up so he was on all fours. "I want to hear you, Dean." Cas pulled the plug out, tossing it to the floor. "Get down," he growled, pressing his palm firmly between Dean's shoulder blades. Dean complied, bringing his shoulders and arms down to the bed, Cas keeping his hips raised. Three fingers slid firmly inside and he fucked Dean slowly.
"Mmmm," Dean moaned. He felt a hot, wet heat at his hole and realized Cas was licking him, fucking him with his tongue.
"Oh, fuuuuck," Dean groaned, his muscles starting to tremble.
"You like that," Cas chuckled, getting back up behind him and pressing his hard dick firmly inside.
"Aww," Dean practically purred. "Fuck."
Cas snapped his hips once and Dean got to his elbows.
"Uh, uh, uh," Cas cooed, pressing him back down. "That's grounds for ropes, Winchester."
Dean stuttered out a plea of unrecognizable words.
Cas kept one hand at Dean's neck, gripping firmly as he snapped his hips several times.
Dean's head spun in arousal and he wanted more, pressing back into him each time.
Cas gripped his hip with his other hand and snapped over and over. "Your turn to cum when I say. Not until I say. Understand?"
Dean tried to nod.
"What was that, Dean?" Cas said, their skin slapping together.
"Okay, yeah, I can wait," Dean groaned out, not entirely sure he could do what he was saying. Cas' dick was striking his prostate each thrust and Dean felt himself shaking with want and anticipation.
"I could fuck you all night," Cas growled, "Ride this ass all night!"
Dean moaned and clutched at the sheets, gasping in air to try to hold himself back.
Cas reached around with the hand that was on his hip, sliding it up and down Dean's cock, precome dripping and sliding slippery. "You're so ready, aren't you?"
"Yes!" Dean cried, his legs trembling. "Fuck me, Cas! Just fuckin' fuck me!"
Cas' grip on his neck tightened slightly and his thrusting sped up. Cas released his cock and Dean gasped, missing the friction instantly. Cas slowed down, making Dean whine and buck against him. Cas pulled out and Dean thought he just might cry in tantrum, he wanted Cas so bad.
The hand holding his neck let go and Cas flipped him onto his back again.
"Yeah," Cas groaned, "I want to see you."
He gripped Dean's hips, shoving a pillow under him and plunged his dick back inside. Dean moaned and thrashed, fighting the orgasm that was so close.
"Cas!" Dean gasped.
Cas continued to fuck him hard. Dean reached for his own cock but Cas pushed him away. "You wanna cum, don't you?"
"Yes!" Dean growled, eyes squeezed shut.
Cas slowed down, gripping Dean's cock firmly at the base. "Open your eyes, Dean."
Dean took several breaths and opened his eyes. Cas' eyes were practically black with blown pupils. He thrust three times, firm but slow.
Dean was ready to growl at him, his jaw was clenched tight and he pulled at the sheets.
Cas stroked his dick straight up, "Cum on me, Dean."
Dean arched off the bed, the orgasm racking his body with spiraling ecstasy. "Fuck,fuck,fuck!" He felt Cas cum, hot and wet inside him as his own cum shot up onto Cas' chest, neck and even dripped from his chin. Cas stroked and fucked and wiped his hand down his own chest, smearing the cum into his skin. He threw his head back and groaned, his groans mingling with Dean's.
As their bodies stilled, Cas' head dropped back down and he let go of Dean's cock. He leaned down over him and kissed him, laughing. "You are fucking incredible."
Dean chuckled, his entire body exhausted.
"I'll get the motel room next time. I think we need a suite so I can tie you up properly."
Dean raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like you've done this before."
"No, but I can be pretty creative."
Cas finally collapsed next to him and they almost went to sleep.
Cas stirred. "I need a shower. And so do you."
"I'm fucking spent," Dean moaned. The thought of standing on his own two feet seeming unimaginable.
Cas grinned, kissing him and he got up, starting the shower. He came back to the bed, pulling and coaxing Dean to his feet. "Come on, Love."
Dean moaned and let himself be pulled up and into the bathroom.
"You're so bossy," Dean groaned.
"I know," Cas laughed low, "but I want us nice and clean so we can sleep."
Cas proceeded to wash Dean, kissing his clean, wet skin and Dean woke enough to wash Cas and return the kissing. After they were both fresh and clean and dry, they crawled into bed, snuggling together.
"I love you," Cas said, his lips finding Dean's.
"I love you more," Dean grinned.
"I don't think that's possible," Cas said, yawning and curling into Dean.
"This is...exactly what I want. This could be our life Cas, if we can just make it til then."
"We will," Cas said confidently. "We deserve it. You deserve it. And so much more."
They both drifted off, blissed and happy.
For the next three weeks, Dean and Cas changed motels and hotels and met twice a week without fail. They both lived for these nights. But their days were shortly numbered before their careers would end it for them.
Dean arrived at the hotel in a town two hours away from post. They had never stayed at this place. It was nicer. Upscale and posh for what they were used to. Cas had reserved the honeymoon suite and they were both looking forward to two nights together. It was their last Hu-rah before Dean deployed the following day.
He put the key card in the slot and pushed the door open.
A large king size bed stood in the center of the room. A large jacuzzi tub was off to one side. The TV was on, playing something on the history channel. "Hey, I'm here," he called.
Cas came out of the bathroom, already wearing pajama pants and a vintage looney tunes t-shirt. "Hello, Dean!"
Dean went straight to him, kissing him and hugging him. "Well, don't you look ten shades of adorable," Dean laughed.
"I'm on vacation!" He spread his arms wide and stepped back eyeing Dean. "And you look like ten shades of sinful hotness."
Dean rolled his eyes, lowering his guitar and bag to the floor. He was wearing jeans and his favorite AC/DC t-shirt.
"You brought your guitar!" Cas grinned wide.
"Yeah, figured we were going to be sitting around, so I might as well sing to you."
Cas closed his eyes and drew in a breath, his smile growing. He kissed Dean again, longer and hotter.
They ate room service and spent the evening enjoying beer and movies in the jacuzzi. They made love and listened to music. Cas enjoyed grunge and punk music while Dean educated him on the classics of rock and roll. They stayed up late into the wee hours of the morning talking about their plans for when Dean came home. They would go back to their motel rendezvous and hopefully no one would be the wiser.
"I told Gabe about us," Cas said. He was naked and laying half under Dean in bed.
"Why?" Dean said, sitting up and looking at him.
"I filled out my paperwork finally. I'd been dragging my feet to turn it in and Gabe is my 'next of kin', but I listed you as family to contact in case of death or missing."
"You did?" Dean asked softly. "You didn't have to do that."
"I know," Cas said apologetically, "I just...I love you Dean. If something happens to me, I want you to know. I want everything I have to go to you and I told Gabe."
Dean looked away. This was a hard subject to talk about. The likelihood of something happening was too high to be able to brush it off. His eyes came back to Cas' sparkling blues.
"That means a lot to me Cas. I told Sam to be sure to keep you informed if it was possible."
Cas sat up, pulling the blankets over his lap and looking Dean in the eye. "Dean, I would marry you right this second if I could. I'd take you away from all of this. I don't want you to go." Tears welled up in his eyes and Dean pulled him in, holding him tight.
"I'd marry you too, Cas. Right now. And I...I can't even imagine life without you. I don't want you to go either."
They kissed, warm and slow, just holding each other. They slept late into the morning, neither one eager to speed the day along.
The next day, they ordered more room service and told each other everything they could about their time in the Army. Basic training, schools, college, people they worked with, people they liked and people they had not liked. Cas told him all he could about Ranger school, life as a Ranger and some things he had done. Both men were no strangers to combat and time over seas. Dean told Cas about how close he had gotten to Bobby. How Bobby felt like a second father to him. The first time he had worked with Bobby, Dean had still been pretty wild and unruly. Bobby had snapped him into shape. His words and his lessons had stuck. Made an impression. By the time Dean was stationed to Fort Benning, he met Bobby as the young man he had told him he could be. And Bobby was there through all the shit that Sam and he had gone through. He was family now. Gruff as he was.
By early evening, the pair found themselves sitting by the fire, Dean tinkering on his guitar, Cas half reading a book, half just watching Dean.
Dean caught Cas' eye and started to play a full song. He sang, Perfect, slowed down and acoustic, Cas watched as if he had never heard the words before. His eyes shined and he seemed to get the messages Dean was sending. Even though they had a rocky start, a difficult future, they were perfect. Dean thought Cas was perfect. He could see how touched he was.
"I love that song," Cas said reverently. "I love you."
Dean grinned, changing chords and went into one of his favorites, Crazy Love. He had put a recording of it on the playlist he had given Cas. But to look into those incredible blue eyes while singing it, seared the love and happiness he felt into Cas' heart. Every 'her' had been changed to a 'him'. The easy rhythm flowed easily.
"Sing it again," Cas grinned, looking so sweet and open. Dean blushed and started over. How was it that the pair of them could be so tender. So in love. Two days from now Dean would be a soldier again. A ground pounding grunt risking his life, maybe taking lives. He would be rescuing vehicles, fearing IEDs, jumping to attention when he woke for fear of night attacks. And a few days later, Cas would be in the thick of intelligence hubs, combing through radio or written communications for information. Sent into high risk areas to infiltrate enemies. Torture. Take prisoners.
Finishing the song, they both seemed to feel the drop in mood. Every hour that passed brought them closer to reality. Dean looked back down at his guitar, changing chords and switching to another song. No words needed to be spoken. They both dreaded the parting tomorrow early in the morning. Slow and looking him in the eyes frequently, Dean began singing, Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop. Cas sat up straighter, hugging his knees to his chest. He bit his smile, never taking his eyes off of Dean. As the song ended, Cas gave him the most endearing smile. "I love you, Dean."
"I love you too, Cas."
Cas got to his knees, lifting the guitar away and kissing Dean tenderly. He lowered him down to his back, hands in his hair and mouth so tender but strong. Dean felt wetness on his cheeks and opened his eyes. Cas was crying. Dean's eyes filled with tears. "Hey," he said, his own voice raspy with emotion.
"Sorry," Cas said, tipping his head down. Dean caught his chin and wiped the tears away.
"I'm comin' home, Cas. So are you. We have plans. We have things to do."
Cas nodded, his tears streaming harder. "Sorry, I never...I've never had a hard time with this before. I just...I don't want you to go. I don't...I couldn't lose you!"
Dean hugged him tight, Cas sniffing and pulling himself together. "I've never had so much to lose before either, Cas." He held his head in his hands, peppering him with kisses until Cas started laughing.
They made love by the fire, intimate and passionate.
Drowsy in the aftermath, Cas propped his head up on his hand. "Dean, will you sing those songs again and record them for me?"
"Sure," Dean grinned, getting up and pulling his boxers on. He pulled his laptop out and turned on a program to record. He played Perfect, Crazy Love, and Falling In Love In A Coffee Shop. He transferred the recordings to Cas' iPod. "I wish I had something this amazing to give you."
Dean gave him a crooked smile. "Hey, it's no Led Zeppelin. But I did put some Zep on your playlist."
"It's better," Cas said seriously. "To have your voice in my ears...it's...thank you."
Dean blushed, "You could record you reading a book in another language."
Cas bit his lip, thinking. He went over to his bag and pulled out a battered copy of a book. Dean set up the recording program, sitting the laptop on the nightstand. He crawled into bed and Cas followed. Dean started the recording and Cas sat back against the headboard, Dean curled around him.
"I chose this book because I have always loved this story. It's called, Angel. It was written in 1952 in Russia. It's about a boy who is poor and living on the streets of . He makes candles and sells them to make enough money to eat. But he falls in love and his life changes forever."
"Who does he fall in love with?" Dean asked sleepily.
"An angel."
Cas began to read, in Russian. Although Dean could not really understand the words, the story swirled in his mind. The deep, rumbling voice of Cas soothing him into relaxing. He had so much on his mind. But the lull of Cas' voice soon took him to sleep. Though Dean slept, Cas stayed up all night, reading. He slid his fingers through Dean's hair and ran his hand over his shoulder, arm and back. He did pause occasionally, watching Dean sleep. He read until the book was finished. He stopped the recording and slid down to hold Dean as long as he could. It was only one precious hour.
Dean's alarm sounded early in the morning.
Dean woke up, not grumbling. He felt so relaxed.
He kissed Cas and got out of bed. Cas picked up clothes from the floor and put them on. Dean packed his things, neither saying a word.
Packed and ready, Dean sat on the bed next to Cas.
"I finished the recording," Cas said.
Dean looked at him with surprise. "You read that whole book?"
"Yes. In Russian. Take it with you."
"I will," Dean said quietly. He kissed Cas long and slow.
"Hey," Dean said gently, his hand tugging Cas' Looney Tunes t-shirt gently, "can I have this?"
Cas looked down at his shirt and back at Dean. He lifted it off, not needing an explanation. He sat it on Dean's lap and pulled his bag over, digging for what he wanted. He took out the AC/DC t-shirt. Dean's bottom lip quivered slightly. He took the shirt from Cas' hands and put it on him, hugging him. To have the smell of someone you love. That's what the shirts were for.
"I love you," Dean said.
"I love you more."
Dean stood up and slung his guitar and bag over his shoulder.
There were no words. They had been said. To say them again would only make the moment harder. They stared, their eyes locked in that magnetic pull. Cas had read him a story about a boy falling in love with an angel. He was the boy. Cas was his angel. He said a prayer for the first time in a very long time. A prayer that they would have each other again. That life would not be so cruel as to take this from them.
Dean leaned down and kissed Cas one last time, tucked Cas' shirt in his bag and left.