Thank you to all those still reading.
December arrived and with it, Myka and Helena found themselves at an ice skating rink in the middle of the city, at Myka's excited insistence. Helena thought to resist until she took one look at her lover's excited gaze and knew resistance was futile in the face of such loveliness.
"Tell me again why you so enjoy being outside in freezing weather, slipping across a patch of ice on purpose," Helena intoned.
Myka laughed and pulled their linked arms closer together. "It's 42 degrees, not freezing," Myka admonished lightly, "and I used to ice skate when I was a kid. It helped me think."
Helena looked at her critically. "I skated a lot," Myka admitted under her gaze.
"Did you think about anything specific, or just generalizations?" Helena asked curious.
Myka shrugged. "Oh, the usual stuff a young girl thinks about I guess. Sometimes I skated to think through a problem I was having with homework; more often," she admitted, "I skated to think about why I was so different from family and my peers. I was a bit of an awkward teenager, to say the least," she tried to laugh.
Helena recognized undertones of a self-conscious woman. She squeezed Myka's gloved hand and whispered, "It's our differences that make us unique, Myka, that make us beautiful; and you are so very beautiful," she said looking at Myka's profile that showed evidence of a blush forming.
Myka cleared her throat abruptly. "So, what about you? You don't enjoy ice skating?" she asked.
Helena sighed. "I used to love watching Christina ice skate. She insisted I take her here every year from the time she was very young. At first I'd hold her in my arms and skate, then I was holding her hand, and eventually, her skills far surpassed my own, and I was content to watch her as I tried to catch up," she spoke softly.
"Helena," Myka spoke gently, "I'm sorry, if I'd known, I wouldn't have suggested we come."
"Cajoled is more like it," Helena teased making Myka smile.
"Truthfully, Myka, I'm glad we came. You help me remember Christina in ways I didn't think possible; you both share so many similar interests and qualities. She would have loved you," Helena spoke sincerely.
Myka looked up sharply at her statement to look into glistening brown eyes, soft with unshed tears. "I love you, Helena," she whispered.
Helena smiled. "I love you was well, darling." Not caring they were in the middle of a skating rink, filled with strangers, Helena leaned in to place a chaste kiss on Myka's lips before continuing skating, arms still linked.
"Helena, Mother and Father are asking when we can expect you home for Christmas."
"Charles," Helena sighed over the phone.
"You are planning to come home for Christmas this year, aren't you?"
"I know I said I would this summer, but to be truthful, I've met someone, and I think I'd rather spend the holiday with her."
"Her?" Charles asked not surprised by the pronoun, but wanting to clarify.
"Yes, Myka. We've been seeing each other for almost three months now, and I just don't want a trip to England to interfere with what is growing between us."
"I see," Charles remarked. "She makes you happy then?"
"Inexplicably happy, yes," she agreed.
"I'm glad, Helena, truly," he spoke and Helena could hear the sincerity in his voice.
"Thank you, Charles," she nearly whispered, her emotions getting the better of her.
"Well then, why don't you bring her home with you? I'm sure Mother and Father would be glad to meet this woman who holds your heart."
"I don't know, Charles," she spoke hesitantly, thinking of Thanksgiving and Myka's reluctance to see her own family.
"Helena, you know our parents have long since realized you're free to love whomever you choose…"
"No, it isn't that," Helena interrupted. "We've certainly come to terms that I will love whomever I desire."
"Then what?"
"I'm not sure Myka is ready to meet family. It's been my impression she doesn't have a good relationship with her own family, and to meet mine might prove too much just yet. If our relationship progresses as I hope it will, you'll all be meeting soon enough, just not for Christmas."
"That sounds…promising."
"I hope it will be."
"Alright, all in good time then."
"Thank you, Charles."
As Myka and Helena settled on the sofa for the evening, fingers interlaced, Helena mentioned her earlier conversation with Charles.
"My brother called me this afternoon."
"Oh? Is everything alright?" Myka asked concerned.
"Perfectly. He just wanted to know if I was planning to go home for Christmas or not."
"Are you?" Myka asked slightly troubled.
Helena tightened her hold of the other woman, brushing a quick kiss into soft curls. "No. I told him I'd much rather spend this Christmas with you."
"And he was okay with that? Your family won't be disappointed?"
"Well, I had mentioned this summer of possibly returning to England for Christmas. I haven't been back since Christina," Helena cleared her throat as Myka gently squeezed her hand in comfort.
"Charles did mention I could bring you with me, if you'd like," Helena began cautiously.
Myka looked up at Helena wide-eyed. "Oh, Helena, I don't know…it's so much…I mean I don't know if I could even get the time off work. Artie is already cross with me for taking as much time off as I have lately," she rambled.
Helena smiled warmly. "It's alright, Myka. I already told Charles Christmas might be too soon for that. I just wanted to bring it up in case you did want to go." Myka visibly relaxed.
"What about your family, darling? Are they expecting you home?"
Any relaxation Myka felt seconds before vanished at the question as she moved to sit up, away from Helena's arms. "They always expect something of me," Myka sighed, rubbing at the back of her neck. "I'm sure they expect me to come home, especially this year since Tracy is due to deliver close to Christmas."
"Your sister is expecting?" Helena asked surprised at the news. "How lovely for her," she spoke softly.
Myka looked at Helena, her tension turning to concern. "I didn't mention it before because…" Myka struggled to find the right words.
Helena's eyes softened at seeing Myka's discomfort on her behalf. "It's alright, darling. The mention of children doesn't bother me, more so now that you've helped me to remember all the good about Christina's life."
Myka leaned forward to brush a soft kiss against Helena's lips, her fingertips lingering against her cheek. "I'm glad," she whispered.
Overcome with emotion, Helena ran her fingers through Myka's curls and smiled. "Perhaps we should do some shopping for the new arrival?"
"Like a sweater-set or something?" Myka asked perplexed at the thought.
"Or something," Helena replied amused. "Do you know what she's having?"
Myka furrowed her brow. "A boy, I think."
"You're not sure?" Helena asked confused and Myka looked back embarrassed.
"I haven't really been kept up do date on the matter," she spoke deflated with an apologetic smile.
"Well, no matter. These days they make plenty of clothing and toys that can suit either gender quite nicely," Helena spoke and Myka couldn't help noticing how much Helena seemed to know about the subject. "But all this baby talk reiterates my original question, do you need to go home for Christmas, because if so, we could…"
"No, that's not necessary," Myka adamantly cut her off. "Tracy and I don't have the greatest relationship, as I mentioned before, and I'm sure I'd just be in the way, anyway."
Myka shook her head at the thought of introducing Helena to her sister. Helena, who never failed to surprise Myka with her endless knowledge of various subjects, and Tracy, who only seemed interested in the domestic aspects of life. The last time they talked, she teased Myka the only person close to a husband she had, was Pete, her work-husband. Pete of all people! Never mind the fact, Myka never even considered marriage. Not even with Sam had she seriously given it thought. Too much an independent woman, as her father would say not without a hint of derision. Myka refused to think about her family's reaction to Helena.
"All right," Helena spoke gently, noticing Myka didn't elaborate on the subject.
Myka startled out of her thoughts, returning her attention to Helena. "Besides, Christmas with just the two of us is sure to be much more pleasant and…intimate," Myka added, placing a kiss against the hollow of Helena's throat, trying to soothe over any lingering doubt.
Helena sighed at the contact as she wrapped her arms around Myka once more. "An accurate statement if ever I heard one," she agreed and smiled when Myka brushed another kiss against her skin. "Besides, we can always mail a package to your sister for the baby," she added in afterthought.
Myka sighed, resting in Helena's arms. "Can I ask you something?" Myka asked cautiously.
"Of course, love, anything," Helena readily assented.
Myka worried her lip a moment, contemplating if she really wanted an answer at all. "Do you think you'd ever want another child?"
Helena was taken aback by the question, though with their line of conversation, it was perfectly natural to ask. She grasped the locket around her neck without thought.
Myka saw the innate gesture and looked chagrined. "I'm sorry, Helena, you don't have to…"
"I'd honestly never given it a thought," Helena spoke softly, ignoring Myka's apology. "Christina meant everything to me…and when she died, I was torn with grief. Some of my colleagues might even venture to say mad with it, for giving up a promising career in architecture to become a florist," she laughed lightly. "The idea that I could go through that kind of grief again is…unthinkable," she shuddered.
"I hope you never do," Myka whispered, holding her hand.
Helena's dark eyes met Myka's bright ones. "Having another child, I hadn't considered it before," she admitted, "but now…with you, Myka…" she trailed off, shyly meeting Myka's wide-eyed stare. "Perhaps it's something to consider after all."
Myka startled at the implication. She was startled further at how easily she could envision Helena holding a small child in her arms. She was suddenly terrified at the prospect. Terrified that vision wasn't something she wanted; more terrified it was.
She rose suddenly from the sofa, away from Helena. "I think…I think I'll go to bed. I have an early day tomorrow remember? Artie wants me to look over some reports…and I need to get some sleep," Myka rambled nervously not meeting Helena's concerned gaze.
"All right, darling," Helena assented; looking remorseful their conversation had turned uncomfortable for her lover. "I'll be in shortly."
Myka nodded before hurrying into the bedroom. Helena sighed heavily when she heard the soft click of the door closing. She ran her fingers through her hair in agitation. Any serious conversation about family always had Myka deflecting if not downright avoiding any details on the topic, so she'd been understandably taken off guard about the children question. Upon reflection, she was surprised to find the idea of having a child with Myka something she could desire…eventually…possibly.
Myka spent long minutes, tossing and turning in bed. No matter what position she tried, sleep eluded her. She finally realized it was Helena's absence that kept her awake. They had never gone to bed separately before she realized and Myka missed Helena's scent, her warmth, and the soft touch of her embrace.
Myka felt relief when she finally heard Helena come into the bedroom and ready herself for bed. Waiting patiently until she felt the dip in the mattress of Helena shuffling under the covers, Myka instantly turned into Helena's side gently placing an arm across her stomach to hold her close. Helena gasped in surprise at the touch, thinking Myka was already asleep.
"I'm sorry," Myka mumbled into Helena's neck.
"For what, darling?"
"For running away. You implied you may want a child with me…it startled me," she admitted.
Helena rubbed her hand along Myka's arm soothingly but remained silent.
"I just don't know if I want children…I never considered them before," Myka spoke softly.
"I don't know that I want another child myself, Myka, but it's…a thought."
"A thought?"
"Yes, just a thought. Now, don't let it trouble you any longer and go to sleep," Helena spoke comfortingly.
Myka lifted her head to place a soft kiss against Helena's lips. "Goodnight, Helena."
"Goodnight, Myka," she spoke as Myka rested her head against her beating heart. They fell asleep, entwined with one another.