That Empty Feeling of Being Full

Chapter Ten

It's Only Life

AN: Just letting you know that the hiatus still stands, but I had already finished this chapter, so I thought I'd just put it up. It might not be too long, but it could still take a while for me to update again. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.

It's Only Life—Kate Voegele

If I could reach up and hold a star
for every time you made me smile
I would have the whole night sky
in the palm of my hand

It wasn't supposed to end this way.

McGee should've busted down the door, gun in hand, and saved the day like he always does.

He should have saved them both.

It's only life, she thought, laying unmoving on the grimy floor. Contrary to popular belief, it really is easy to take a life. In this case, constant pressure on the trachea for about thirty seconds, assuming the victim wasn't strong enough to throw you off, or if they were too hurt.

She wouldn't open her eyes. Because opening her eyes would force her to face the reality.

The plan hadn't worked.

Her partner was dead.

It was one hell of a stupid, half-assed plan. Dangerous, risky, unlikely to work and generally just stupid.

It was Angel's idea.

Sure, Shauna had been considering it herself (and she had to admit, it was the only real option that they had) but it was still stupid. Mainly because it involved possibly leaving Angel here, alone, to fend for herself against a soon-to-be-enraged killer psychopath.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"Alright, let's go through this again," Angel said, propped up against the wall. "You have the knife. We wait for him to come through the door, you stab him. If you think you can overpower him, then do it, but if not, I want you to run as fast as you can. Try to get to his car, but if you can't, then just hightail it to civilization."

She looked hard at Shauna. "If that happens, you have to leave me here, Shauna, I mean it. Our only chance is if you make it back."

Shauna bit back what she really wanted to say and just nodded. She knew what Angel was trying to do. She would risk losing her life to save Shauna. And what could Shauna do about it but let it happen?

Angel very well couldn't take her place. She couldn't even stand up by herself; her leg was swollen, probably infected, and it hurt her to breathe too deeply. She was, however, currently in the right frame of mind, the concussion having mostly gone away. But there was no way that she could get away on her own.

It was morning again. Monday morning. 'Dave' hadn't come back the night before. Thank God. They had both slept throughout the night, albeit, not very peacefully. Angel looked at her weirdly every once in a while, as if she really did remember the kiss. Shauna almost smiled. She wasn't embarrassed, and Angel obviously knew it was just to calm her down, but it would be tough to explain to everyone when they got out of here.

If they got out of here, that was.

Angel rolled her head from side to side and then leaned her head back against the wall. "Hey, do you remember that time when we crashed the car?"

Shauna thought back. "Vaguely. Why?" she asked raising her eyebrows.

She shrugged. "No reason. Just remembering."

Shauna looked at her sadly. 'Just remembering'being code for 'thinking back in case I die.'

Shauna sighed. "Yeah, I remember you were driving."

Angel smiled good-naturedly. "Doesn't mean it was my fault."

"Whatever. We almost died."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Di—" Shauna stopped herself, realizing what they were doing. Angel just laughed.

Shauna sighed, but then laughed when she remembered more. "I've never heard Matt cuss like that."

"The man sure as hell does not like to be woken up because I choose not to kill innocent little squirrels."

"Yeah, he was pretty mad, wasn't he?"

"Well, at least it was a viable emotion," Angel said, rolling her eyes. "He needs to learn how to open up. Six years and I've only seen him smile a handful of times."

Shauna thought a moment before she spoke again. "So what was he like when you first met him?"

"Where do I start." She scoffed and started ticking off her fingers. "Emotionally distant, almost never spoke unless it was absolutely necessary, never found anything I said funny. I really don't know what those people over a Langley did to him, but I'm glad he finally decided to get out. Though come to think of it, he never actually said what happened to make him quit."

"Must have been bad," Shauna speculated.

Angel shrugged again. "Well I'm sure McGee knows. I mean, Tony was team leader at the time, but I'm sure the Boss would have found out somehow."

Shauna was now intrigued. "Now, you've told me about Tony before, and I've met him a couple of times, but what about Gibbs? He's supposed to have been even better than McGee. Is that even possible?"

Angel smiled, even as her eyes drooped sadly. "Well, you're right on that. McGee is a very close second, but Gibbs was the best. I was the Probie on his team for two years before he died."

Shauna settled in for the story. She always enjoyed listening to Angel talk.

"Tony didn't like me very much. He kind of saw me as Ziva's replacement—he was in love with her, you know. And he got kind of offended when I stole the girl right from under his nose on occasion." She giggled. "I even took Abby out once. Kind of funny when you consider the end result."

Shauna laughed.

"But Gibbs," Angel said with awe. "He was amazing. Best boss I'd ever had—not including McGee, mind you. But he was good. It was like he was psychic, and I'm not so sure he wasn't; you think McGee knows everything, but he learned that from Gibbs. Our team had the highest case closed rate in NCIS history, and that is saying something, considering out current rate," she indicated Shauna and herself. "But, yeah. He always knew who was guilty just by looking at them, and he was even better than Matt at making them confess.

"And even in his mid-fifties, he was still quicker than any of us. You could always count on him to be right around the corner when you were chasing a suspect and to take him down with his bare hands. And you should have seen him with his sniper rifle. Best I've ever seen. Twelve hundred feet. And-" she suddenly looked up at the open window.

Shauna heard it too. Time to put their plan into action.

A loud beeping woke McGee from his slumber.

He slowly opened his eyes, and smiled when he noticed the unfamiliar weight of Ziva's head on his chest. Her hair was frizzy and probably hadn't been really brushed well in the past couple of days, but he liked it. It reminded him of how she used to wear it when he'd first met her. All tangled and wild and beautiful.

He brushed it tenderly away from her face to wake her up, smiling as he did so. She opened her big brown eyes and looked into his, smiling as well, but that quickly turned to a frown. Her eyes became more alert as they shot to the computer in the main lab. "How long has that been going off?" she asked.

McGee followed her gaze, and within seconds, they had jumped up, fought with the too-slow motion-sensing door, and skidded to a halt in front of the computer terminal.

'Dave,' or in other words, William Frankland's face was flashing rapidly on the screen. McGee quickly stopped the alarm and brought up the records, and read aloud. "Born in London in 1988 to Tara and Thomas Frankland. Father died when William was fifteen and his mother and him moved back to Virginia to stay with a grandmother by the name of Jennette Harper." McGee scrolled down and brought up another document. "Currently lives in D.C. Looks like he moved back in with his mother who was dying—or did die of liver cancer."

"Well that would explain why the sudden outburst of killing," Ziva said. "It doesn't look like he's moved since."

McGee ran back to Bobby's office to grab their shoes and jackets. "Print that out," he called, pulling on his socks and boots. He came out minutes later and placed Ziva's leather slip-ons in front of her feet and her jacket over her shoulders. "I'll go get the car started. Meet me out front."

Ziva just nodded, clicking the mouse fervently and blindly attempting to put her shoes on with just her feet.

McGee drove faster than he probably should have for an interview. And it wasn't made any better by the fact that he had no clue as to what to say when they arrived.

"Do you think that maybe we should just follow him?" he asked Ziva uncertainly.

She looked just as unsure as he did. "Well," she checked her watch. "It is about seven thirty in the morning, so if he has a job he should be heading out." She shrugged. "We can't very well go up and ask him where he keeps his victims." She looked back at the road and pointed quickly. "Left up here."

McGee skidded slightly, trying to comply. He slowed down as he made his way down the street. "Does he have a place of employment in his records?" he asked.

Ziva shuffled through the papers. "No…. Wait, yes! Looks like he works security for a law firm in Anacostia. Has for the past six months."

McGee nodded. "You could ask Johnathan and Matt to scope out the place; Frankland's never seen them before. We need to stay here and check out his place."

"Right," she said, and made the calls.

McGee found the correct address and stopped a few houses down. It was pretty run down. The remnants of a garden surrounded by a short stone fence made itself known in the side yard; probably his mother's. There was a rusty car parked partially hidden in the back yard by weeds, though the rest was mowed meticulously.

It wasn't a particularly nice neighborhood, either. McGee could hear a boom box going down the street even so early in the morning. A few yards were littered with toys and old appliances.

"They are on their way." Ziva put down her phone and looked at the house. "His car is still here, so he hasn't left yet." The car was a dark green older model GMC Yukon.

McGee took a look at the license plate. "AKL539." He typed it into his phone. "Well no wonder we couldn't find it. It's in his mother's name. He might not even have a license." he searched again on his phone. No results.

McGee and Ziva lulled into a silence. There wasn't much they could do now but wait.

After nearly twenty minutes, Ziva's phone rang, causing both occupants of the car to flinch. She answered it quickly. "David."

McGee could hear Matt's voice speaking slowly and calmly on the line, but couldn't make out what he was saying. Ziva's face slowly became more worried as she listened, and then she hung up without saying a word. She looked to McGee. "Matt says he called in sick yesterday. Said he would be out for a couple of days."

McGee looked back to the house. "So d'you think he's in there? He might have a different car?"

Ziva shook her head as if to say, 'I don't know.'

McGee reached for his door handle and got out of the car. "Come on. He might not be hiding them in there, but I'll make him talk. I don't care what I have to do."

He heard Ziva's door snap shut, and she was behind him in an instant, pulling at his arm. "Tim, you cannot go barging in there. If you scare him, he might never tell you where they are." He didn't stop, so she jumped in front of him, and pushed her hand into his chest. "The best thing we can do right now is wait for him to leave and then follow him. He will lead us straight to them."

McGee shook his head. "He's hurt my girls, Ziva," he growled. "He's had them for two days. I know what happens during that time." He tried to push past her, but Ziva blocked his way.

"I know it hurts, Tim. But you have to listen to me. You cannot strong-hand this."

"It's strong-arm Ziva, and yes I can." He easily swept her out of the way with his arm and marched up to the house. He turned back to Ziva from the porch and motioned for her to go around back. She huffed indignantly, but did what she was told. He would apologize later.

McGee knocked on the door without saying anything. It would be better for McGee if Frandland didn't know they were cops. There was no answer. McGee knocked again.

"Hello," he called out. He thought quickly. "Electric company."

Still nothing. He walked over to the widow next to the door and peered in. The house was clean enough, save for a TV dinner plate and a metal fork sitting on the coffee table and a few books on one of the chairs. McGee tried the door. Locked.

He could see into the kitchen. Plates were stacked high in the sink and the trash can was full. A shadow suddenly crossed the window on the back door and McGee's heart jumped for a second before he recognized Ziva. She leant down with something in her hands and moments later the door swung open.

She quickly made her way to the front door and opened it for him. "He is not here. The bedroom is empty, and the bed is slept in. He must have left in another vehicle before we got here."

McGee seethed. He's probably with Angel and Shauna right now. "Damn it," he muttered as he stepped inside the house.

He and Ziva made their was through the house. The bed was indeed slept in, the thick blanket kicked to the floor. McGee scanned the room with his eyes for anything worth looking at. He stopped at a pair of tennis shoes caked with mud. He put on some gloves and picked one up. "Ziva!" he called.

He pulled out a plastic evidence bag from a pocket and scratched some dirt into it with his switchblade.

"Yes?" she came into the room.

"Did you find anything?" he asked, putting the shoe back where he found it.

She shook her head. "It does not appear that he has cleaned up for a few weeks, but other than that, nothing important. What about you?"

McGee held up the evidence bag. "We need to get this back to Bobby, but we need someone to keep this house under surveillance so we can follow him when he comes back."

Ziva nodded and pulled out her phone as they made their way out the back door.

Shauna's heart thrummed as they listened to the car turn off and the door slam. He sounded angry.

Angel sat where she was on the floor, unable to do anything but watch. Shauna stood, back against the wall, right where the door would open to, knife in hand.

They both jumped when they heard the familiar sound of a door in the distance, echoing off the large space they were in. Shauna tensed, preparing for what she was about to do. It had never been easy for her to take a life, but with him, with 'Dave', she knew it would be. He had hurt Angel. It was fairly simple after that.

The sound of footsteps got louder and closer and Shauna readied herself. She looked over at Angel. "I love you, partner."

Angel smiled and nodded. "Love you too."

Seconds left. He was almost to the door. Shauna plastered herself to the wall and raised the hand with the knife. 'Dave' threw open the door and barged in, not checking his surroundings. Better for them then.

Shauna quickly stabbed the knife into his chest with all the force she had. 'Dave' yelled in anguish and fell to his knees. Shauna tried to pull the knife back out to stab him again, but he grabbed a hold of her wrist and squeezed, looking at her with fire in his eyes.

Shauna acted fast. She drove her knee upward into his nose, and grabbed his head from behind, shoving it hard into the ground.

She stood back up and stared for a moment at what she had done. 'Dave' lay unmoving on the ground, blood pooling in front of his face. I can't believe that worked, she thought.

"Shauna!" Angel's voice broke through. She looked at her. "Come on. Help me up." She said, holding out a hand.

Shauna ran over, pulled Angel's arm around her shoulders. "God you're heavier than I remember."

"Ha ha," Angel said sarcastically, but with a hint of a smile on her face. She groaned when she tried to put weight on her left leg. "Let's just go."

They avoided 'Dave's' prone body on the floor and made their way through the door, stopping for a moment to take it all in. The only illumination came from an extra wide door about fifty yards from them at the other end of the building.

They avoided 'Dave's' prone body on the floor as they made their way through the door, and stopped for a moment to take it in. The only light came in from the extra wide door on the other end of the building, about fifty yards away, illuminating two long rows of what looked like horse stalls.

Angel laughed mirthlessly. "I had a feeling it was a barn."

"Come on," Shauna said, helping Angel to hop out of the building, and forcing herself to ignore the way that Angel whimpered every time she was jostled too much. And because of that she wasn't prepared for Angel to cry out and go nearly limp in her arms. "Angel! What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said with barely a whisper. She pushed herself up with her left leg, but it wasn't as strong as before. "Let's go. We have to get out of here."

"But-"

"No time!"

So Shauna continued on, half-dragging Angel across the dirty dust-ridden floor, past the horse stalls and towards the open door. They had nearly made it when they heard a soft groan from behind them.

Shauna's heart skipped a couple of beats as she looked back to see 'Dave's' arm reaching up to rub his forehead, and she tried to go faster. The sunshine hit their faces, just as they heard him shout.

"Oi! Fucking bitch! You're gonna re-regret that!" Shauna heard him crashing about as he tried to get back up.

"Come on," Shauna cried, and made her way to the red pick up, parked over to the right. They were surrounded completely by a forest; as out of the way of civilization as possible. She could see the trees rise into a tall hill not far off in the distance, the sunlight shining brightly on the rock outcroppings on the top.

They hadn't yet reached the truck when the sound of one of the barn doors slammed into the outside wall, accompanied by the heaving bull-like breaths of 'Dave' as he stopped to search for them. Shauna chanced another glance back. He was weaving dangerously as he locked onto their position. She hadn't hit him as hard as she would have liked.

Angel pushed off from Shauna and fell to the ground. "Go! Run!"

Shauna didn't have time to argue with her for 'Dave' was bearing down on them. I have to keep him away from Angel, she thought, and took off at a dead run, angling away from her partner. She looked back and, by some miracle, he was following her.

The adrenaline was surely the only thing keeping her moving, for she hadn't eaten in days, yet, 'Dave,' even with a knife wound in his chest, was having no problem keeping up. They ran through the trees, the fresh dead leaves that littered the ground making it impossible to be silent.

She glanced back again, and sure enough, 'Dave' was gaining on her. He looked angrier than she had ever seen anyone look, the kind of anger one could only have for the person that had just tried to kill them. He had the knife in his hand, and it, as well as the far side of his chest, was covered in blood. It appeared she hadn't hit anything too vital, seeing as he was still breathing.

She tried not to imagine what it would feel like to have that knife cut through her flesh, it wouldn't do her any good. It was as she was about to put on another burst of speed, when she felt a hand grab the back of her shirt.

Her feet left the ground for an instant as she was pulled backward and thrown to the ground. 'Dave' was on top of her in an instant, sitting on her legs and pinning her arms to her sides.

They stayed still for a moment; the only sound from either one of them was in the form of heavy breathing, as they looked into each other's eyes. The feeling of betrayal came back to Shauna full force as she looked at the face that had almost convinced her that he was something other than a cold, heartless killer. The face now was red from running and boiling with hatred, the pupils of the eyes dilated with fury.

"What now?" Shauna asked, barely a whisper. She didn't struggle, there was no point. She knew she was about to die. She wasn't scared anymore.

"Oh, I expect you already know the answer to that," and he quickly raised his right arm and, before she could stop him, stabbed her in the side. She screamed as the white hot pain exploded and her vision went gray for a few seconds. Then he released the knife, leaving it sticking out of her, and placed the large hand around her throat, the other still holding down her other arm.

He was strong. She attempted to pull him off her throat with her free hand, the other digging in the dirt, but it was no use. It hurt so badly, the pressure crushing the life out of her and pushing the back of her head down into the ground. Her mouth gaped uselessly as her fingers started to lose feeling, losing grip and slipping off his hand.

The whole forest seemed to go silent in that moment. The birds that had made themselves heard that morning stopped chirping, the wind stopped blowing. Shauna's gaze moved away from 'Dave' into the trees over her head and she noticed the sun shining through the leaves. She could honestly say that it was the most beautiful color she had ever seen.

And in the silence, only one thing broke through. It was Angel; screaming her name.