Bandits. It's always the damn bandits. The group surrounds us and I'm starting to regret my lack of sword. A large bearded man, who seems to be the leader of the group, steps forward. "Well, well, well, what do we got here? A peasant boy and a noble, lost in the woods." He finished it off with a grin.

"If you value your lives, you won't take another step."

The bandits laugh at Merlin's remark. "So the peasant boy is a bit cocky now. You don't even have a sword."

"I don't need one." The bandits step closer. "Last chance." They don't stop, taking the nonexistent bluff. Both of Merlin's hands fly out and without a word spoken, the men all fly backwards, dead. "Don't say I didn't warn you." He mumbles.

We continue to walk, but I can't get it out of my mind of what exactly Merlin did. It was just so easy for him. With a snap of his fingers he just killed around fifteen men. The worst part was, he didn't seem to care.

"We'll reach the Mercia capital by morning." Merlin lays down on the ground, heat aura still surrounding.

I hesitate. "It seemed… easy for you, to kill all those men."

Merlin doesn't look up, "It was."

I try to lighten the mood with a chuckle, "Weren't you the man who got mad at me over killing defenseless little bunnies in the forest."

Merlin's fist curls unbearably tight, his knuckles white from the pressure. "I've killed a lot of men, Arthur, more than you have, more than you ever will. Remorse is something I had to get rid of a long time ago. It's a weakness in life."

"Some people would say remorse is a strength. It makes up human."

"My enemies would not see it that way." He snaps at me.

"You? Enemies?"

"In the last two years, I've been poisoned seven times, attacked while I slept twenty eight times, and kidnapped five times. I would say I have enemies. When I show weakness, they come back for more, but if they know that I will kill them without hesitation or remorse, then they won't."

The silence lasts a few moments, "Why would someone kidnap you? I mean, mustn't they know that you're a powerful sorcerer? You could escape within a day."

"Took me six months the first time."
I stare, completely gobsmack. "Six months. You've only been gone two years."

"You actually think an unarmed man traveling through the forest would make it
all the way to Ealdor. Slave traders. They're used to dealing with sorcerers. They- they put these cuffs on me so I couldn't use my magic. It… it hurt, a lot. They dragged me around for six months until I could finally manage to escape. Even then, I still had the cuffs. I considered going back to Camelot and asking Gaius, but it was too dangerous." Merlin takes a deep breath. "My magic isn't like others. I was born with magic. I am a creature of magic, as much as the great dragon or any other magical creature is. If you were to take away my magic, I would die. The cuffs, they restricted my magic, so they restricted my life force. I was so weak, could barely walk without feeling lightheaded and falling down. That lasted about two weeks."

"How'd you get them off?"

Merlin hesitates. "A sorceress found me. She helped me get them off. She helped me… recover. Celia. It was Celia." He hesitates, not quite sure if he should continue or not. "I don't know what I'd do without her."
This was the most Merlin had ever opened up to me. I didn't want to say anything to ruin it, but I want to know more. I want him to explain everything. Being dragged around for six months by slave traders, no one would be the same after that. It would explain his anger, his new personality. I can't seem to blame him.

It also explains the bond Merlin has with Celia. To be in hell for six months, and then weak and powerless for even longer, for someone to come along and save you from all of that, it would seem unreal. Though, Merlin didn't seem to worship Celia, or even feel indebted to her. They just seemed to be like… lovers. Yes, the relationship was very odd, but it is clear Merlin cares a great deal for the girl, and unless she is pretending, Celia seems to care a great deal about him.

"How'd she get them off?" I risk asking.

"I never really asked. The cuffs aren't that hard to get off. Anyone with magic would be able to unlock them, the problem was, I didn't have any magic, not anymore. It- It made me feel defenseless." He turns towards me. "Magic is what I am. Imagine how you would feel if someone took away your nobility and made you a peasant, or cut off your sword arm. You'd feel lost. All you've ever known, just gone."

It makes me think. Yes, I'm already living as if I was not a noble, but that was out of my own choice. I can't imagine what it would be like just to wake up one day and be a pesant. Worse, even, was losing the arm. The only thing I am truly good at, that I have any skill in, just gone. Without a sword, or the arm, rather, I would feel weak and defenseless.

"I understand that I've changed, and you may not like it, but I won't- I can't go back. I- I can't ever risk being pulled back into that hell. I went mad, I really did, and I can't do that again. I- I refuse to- to go back. I can't!" By now Merlin was breathing heavily, shaking miserably. I crawl towards him slowly, placing my hand gently on his face. He flinches terribly, but I don't move. Tears fall down his face as he mumbles incoherently. "Can't, Won't, Please, No, Please, Can't."

I pull him into a tight hug. He tenses momentarily before wrapping his arms around me. My lips tug at a tight smile. This was the beginning. He opened up to me. I can help him if he'll let me. I won't let him go.