This was an unexpectedly long journey, since the first time I saw my first episode of Inuyasha two years ago on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. I missed most of it but I caught the end title with Do As Infinity's "Fukai Mori" (Deep Forest). There was this beautiful image of Sesshomaru standing atop a rocky precipice overlooking the inter-dimensional graveyard where his father Inu-Taisho was laid to rest. I remember thinking to myself, "Wow, he's gorgeous. Who the heck is that?" Thus began my obssession. I even dressed like Rin at the Expo. LOL. I've got issues, I admit it.

So, thanks for coming along for the ride! You are all cool. When I first started in 2004, I didn't think anyone would read my stuff. Your encouragement and praise will always inspire me to write.

-K

Chapter 10: Otome no Yume (A Young Girl's Dream)

The moon had risen, peering out behind a lone dark cloud amid a speckled mantle of stars. Its light illuminated the shadowy figure's head, like a luminescent halo. His long, silver-white hair drifted in luminescent strands behind him as the night wind blew. Something in Rin stirred as if she were recalling a familiar dream. Not a word passed between them. In that moment the silence between them covered all the night sounds like a thick blanket. For one moment, the whispers had stopped, and Rin could hear the sound of her blood ringing through her ears. Her mouth opened to speak, but no words came forth.

Just then, a torrent of fire spewed towards her from one side. Rin could not move away in time and just as she could smell her hair and her clothes burning, it was over. She looked up and saw the demon in white standing in front of her, and she could clearly see he was adorned with light armor shining in the moonlight that was more ornamentation than actual protection. This powerful demon was something to be reckoned with even without armor. As he lowered his arm, palm open out towards Rin's opponent, the blue shimmer of a barrier disappeared around him. Rin hissed at him and pounced away, back into the shadows. He called out her name, but she retreated even further. Was that her name? Did they know one another?

Do not lose your concentration, said the stone in her pocket. Kill the demoness and drink her blood. The blood of a powerful inu demon will grant us both exponential powers.

Rin! said the voice of her mother. Her mother's voice sounded as if she were in pain. Rin recalled the image of her mother being dragged out of a small house by her hair. Even as a child, Rin often played with the ends of her mother's fine, fragrant hair. Her hate started to burn into her.

The demoness stole away your chance for revenge. Revenge that your family has thirsted for all of these years. Kill the demoness so I can be powerful enough to set their souls free, it whispered.

Rin looked out to the clearing where the demon inu lay crumpled on the muddy ground. The last spout of fire had taken much out of it. Dark blood was everywhere and the demon dog was attempting to lap it up and clean the wound marking where its arm used to be. Rin extended her claws again. It had to die.

Suddenly, another scene buried deep inside her came forth in her mind. It came so violently that Rin staggered back and leaned against the trunk of a tree for support. The demon with the silvery hair was standing in a fragrant garden. Rin could see there were white water lilies in the nearby water fountain that sung a song of evening mysteries as the dusk faded in the western sky. The round full moon's reflection danced amid the music of the water. Had she been in this beautiful place before?

"What are you thinking?" she had asked. Her voice was that of a child; small, inquisitive and innocent. The demon in his white kimono said nothing at first. Then, he turned around and looked at her. His face was expressionless save the one tiny crease between his eyebrows indicating he was slightly perturbed.

"Do your questions never cease?" he had asked in return. The child Rin giggled with mirth. The crease on his brow disappeared. He turned away from her again. His perfect profile was illuminated. She was fascinated at how he was always able to reflect the light of the moon, no matter how dark the night was.

"Kire-dayou," Rin had said quietly, admiring his beauty. He glanced at her and looked away again. Rin thought she had seen a tinge of embarrassment in his pale face.

"Bakabakashi," he had said under his breath.

"I know him," said Rin to herself, clutching her head tightly with her hands. It was as if something was trying to come forth from her skull, threatening to burst like the rush of a tidal wave. The whispers became very agitated inside her head. They were all speaking at once, and Rin felt as though her mind was spinning out of control and she was being sucked in and dragged by a whirlpool.

Concentrate! He is not your concern. Kill the demoness before she escapes, demanded the stone. The whispers lulled. It was growing agitated as it demanded more of her. The whispers suddenly stopped, and Rin's eyes glowed with green rage once again. Mindlessly, Rin obeyed and with her demon strength she leapt out of the trees and undergrowth, a spray of leaves and debris trailing behind her from the sudden vacuum of air she left behind. Her laws were extended and she fell back towards the ground with but one purpose. Akiko looked up in surprise at the sudden attack. Completely weakened, the demoness had already transformed back into her human form. As Rin charged towards her Akiko stared her straight in the eye without flinching. There was no fear in either of them.

Then, the figure in white charged at Rin, knocking the air out of her lungs and they both plunged towards the ground and landed back away from the clearing, in the forest undergrowth. He landed on top of her, his hands pinning her arms down so that her claws could not touch him, and her body was made immobile. Rin snarled at him and despite her struggles, she could not break free.

"Rin!" he said sternly. "This is not who you are. Me wo samashite!" he ordered. She continued to squirm beneath him so violently that started bruising herself in his grip.

"Whatever it is that is controlling you, you must fight it!" he said. Rin shook her head fiercely as if not wanting to hear his words. Then, a dark force gathered in her spreading outwards to repel him. Sesshomaru leaped out of its way back into the clearing as it created a shock wave that pushed several yards of trees and shrubbery flat on the ground. Rin had again disappeared into the undergrowth.

"It is no use," said Akiko in a low voice, wet and bedraggled on the dirt ground. "The stone has merged with her mind."

"Stone?" asked Sesshomaru walking back out onto the plain, glaring at her with sharp, determined eyes.

"A demon stone, borne from the pearl of a dragon's eye. It has the power to possess a human, granting her immortality and demon strength. In return, she must continue to collect souls to continue to give power to the stone. Apparently, the stone has an appetite for demon as well. Demons have no souls, but there are other ways of attaining our power," smirked Akiko mirthlessly.

"What have you done," demanded Sesshomaru in a low growl, scanning around him for any trace of Rin.

"Nothing she did not do herself. The souls of her family are within the stone. I merely handed it to her. She was the one who tried to free them. The stone is too powerful for a weak human mind. She will not be able to break free. You must separate the stone from her somehow," said Akiko.

"I must…?" said Sesshomaru coldly. "Perhaps I should just leave her to dispatch you to save me the trouble," he began. Sesshomaru eyed her severed limb. "She's seems to be doing quite well. It will save me a great deal of time."

"Have you not the time for your precious Rin? If you do not save her now, she will never return to you," retorted Akiko. "Her soul will be bound to the stone for an eternity. The stone has taken her memories and only replaced them with false or twisted ones. Does not your heart ache to see her thus?" she asked mockingly. "If you do not help her, you will have to kill her to put her out of her misery."

Sesshomaru ignored the tone of Akiko's voice and scanned the undergrowth but could not see where she had gone. Her scent still lingered in the air and he knew she was close. But now, as an immortal she had increased her ability for stealth, speed and strength. He had to be on his guard for it was true that she did not recognize him. Although, for a moment, he thought he saw a flicker of recognition when he first looked into her eyes. Her soft brown eyes had turned malignant green, full of anger and hatred. He did not know to what extent he could help her now. Was she too far gone to be saved?

"I cannot do this," panted Rin, clutching tufts of grass in her clenched fists as she lay prostrate on the ground. "He will not let me kill her."

He favors her. He always has, said the voice of her mother.

He was only playing with you, whispered the stone. You must kill her, your rival.

"My rival?" she asked. Her mind was completely devoid of any recollection of either of them. But then, the stone began to glow, and with its power another memory was released to her. Rin saw an image in her mind, that of the demon in white and her rival in a brightly flowered garden. The demoness slithered close to him and kissed him. He was letting her do it. Rin clenched her fists so tightly that her palms began to bleed. A twisted, tormented feeling bubbled up in her chest. She hated her rival. She hated him for making her feel so miserable.

They have deceived you. They are evil. They must die.

Rin stood up again, possessed once more by the power of the stone. Her razor sharp claws once again extended their full length held close to her sides as she raced through the forest around the perimeter of the clearing. Her silent footfalls barely disturbed the earth as she gathered speed, leaning slightly left or right to avoid a tree or branch whizzing by. Looking at the corner of her eye, between the trees she could see her targets still crouched low in the middle of the plain. She would rush up to them from behind, and she was certain that she would kill at least one of them.

A powerful aura had filled the forest. Sesshomaru knew it was the stone's doing. He could neither hear nor sense Rin but her scent was still everywhere. He closed his eyes and waited for her to attack first. He knew he had to be careful fighting her. In her state, she would not retract and would have no qualms killing him. He on the other hand had to locate the stone and detach it from her without hurting her. Sesshomaru was not used to fighting at such a disadvantage, and yet for her, he would do so. It was disturbing even for him to see Rin so detached and heartless. So much like a demon. It was so unlike her usual warm nature. With the stone she was immortal, but that was not the way he wanted her. It was her human nature that was always so endearing to the extent that it even affected him, a demon who cared for no one else before he met her. He would not let her remain this way. He would save her, or else….

"Sesshomaru-sama," she had asked him once, long ago when she was still small. It was after the child stealing ogre incident. The incident with the monk they called Ungai-sama. They were standing on a grassy plateau in front of three crude head stones. He had later often wondered if the head stones were those of her family.

But at the time, his mind was concerned with finding Naraku, and he only looked at her questioningly with detached interest.

"After Rin dies, will you promise not to forget her?" she had asked. It was such a silly thing for her to ask. Perhaps she had loved him even then? It was a wish of hers to always be at his side, knowing that she was mortal. She would always be with him if he remembered her. Such wise words from someone so small. For the first time in his long life, Sesshomaru felt the oddest sensation in his chest. It was something akin to aching.

Then suddenly, he heard her charge. She had come up swiftly from behind. He turned to see her rushing towards him at incredible speed and then with her right foot she tapped the ground and leapt up into the air, coming down almost head first, claws pulled back and positioned for a killing thrust. Sesshomaru used his arm to push Akiko roughly aside so that Rin would focus directly on him. The demoness gasped as her body was shoved sideways across the plain, landing in another puddle of mud. As Rin came for him, the stone's aura surrounded her, coloring the air around Rin to make her look as she streamed down to earth like a red comet. She came crashing down and collided with his barrier.

Where the two barriers met, the air sizzled and crackled with energy and bursts of white light. Behind his defense he could see the determination in her eyes. She wanted nothing but to kill him. She had never before looked at him with such eyes. His defense wavered and Rin started to penetrate the barrier. He reprimanded himself silently for allowing his mind to wander. Her claws pierced through and came within inches of his chest. Sesshomaru could defend himself only if he drew his sword. The power of his draw would protect him from her attack, but the killing arc could seriously hurt her. He hesitated.

Rin could see him hesitate and in that second she found her opening. She knew her claws would not pierce through his armor, so instead, her right hand turned slightly to find the opening between the breastplate and the spiked shoulder guard. In an instant she plunged her claws into him. His blood spurted out his back, indicating that she had pierced through his body. A twisted smile flickered across her face.

But abruptly, he pulled her closer to him, embracing her with his good arm. His eyes never left her gaze and his face remained expressionless. He was affected neither by pain nor anger and it puzzled her exceedingly. Then, his hand slid down to her pocket where the stone was, and in that moment, he wrenched it out and tossed it aside. The stone's glow faded as it flew threw the air, landing with a 'thump' and rolling away into the tall grass.

The force of Rin's attack then knocked him off his feet and they both spiraled into the ground. Rin gasped as her claws retracted, and all her demon characteristics disappeared. The seduction of the stone was gone, as were the whispers. Her mind suddenly went dark, but then the spell of the stone relinquished its control over her, and the levees containing her memories broke bringing forth waves of recollection. Rin felt as though she would drown in them and she panted and gasped for air as they would not relent.

After a while, the flood subsided giving rise to but one clear image in her mind; that of Sesshomaru-sama standing tall amid a field of daisies. The wind picked up petals and blew them past his stoic profile. He turned to look at her with his age old, golden eyes. She felt lost in their meaning and wisdom. Eyes that were cold and unfeeling towards others had softened just for her. Sukinishiro, he said to her then.

He is mononoke, you are human. The line cannot be crossed, said Ungai-sama in her mind. The image of the elderly monk scowled back at her. His eyes were so desperate to have her understand what he was saying. Rin, though small at the time, did understand what he was trying to say. The mortal boundary would always separate her from her Sesshomaru-sama. This was something she knew and accepted. She would not turn into a demon just to be forever by his side. Rin could not be happy being anything but herself.

Rin-chan, said Kagome-san to her once on a clear, sunny day, after Rin was allowed to share a delicious bento from the faraway land that Kagome hailed from. That was the day Rin discovered the delicious seasoning of "MSG" in a bowl of cup-ramen. Rin had stayed in Kagome's village for a brief period of time in her childhood. She had guessed that it was because Sesshomaru-sama wanted to have her sociallze with her own kind. In the end, Rin found that she was happiest when she was at his side.

It's your life, Kagome had said to her when Rin told her what Ungai-sama had said. You should do what makes you happy.

At the time, Kagome had been talking of Rin's lifestyle of wandering around and getting into trouble, as opposed to returning to live in a human village. But simultaneously, she was also speaking of Rin's choice to remain with him. Kagome, above all other people, understood what was within Rin's heart, even from the beginning. It was when she met her that Rin realized not all people were bad. She and Kagome were kindred spirits.

Rin, said her mother before she passed away, Smile. Her mother had also wanted her to be happy. There was only one place where Rin could ever achieve this.

Wordlessly, Sesshomaru got up and walked quietly, and purposefully towards the stone that was now darkened and lying vulnerably in the dirt. Sesshomaru drew his sword and in one powerful arc the stone split in two. A flash of light colored the field and slowly, glowing orbs floated out of the stone, now freed from its spell, towards the sky. One exceptionally bright orb returned to Rin, who was lying silently in a heap on the ground, and it submerged and then disappeared into its rightful place. Sesshomaru watched quietly as three more floated above her, circling around her head several times before joining the others in the sky.

He then looked around and saw that Akiko was nowhere to be seen. Her presence was gone, leaving only the faint smell of perfume behind on the plain. All the better for her as Sesshomaru would have killed her himself if she lingered there any longer.

Rin opened her eyes and blinked a few times until her vision cleared. She looked down and saw that she was lying on the grass. Rin felt as though she had been asleep for ages, and just beyond her recollection were the contents of a pleasant dream of her family. They had spoken words to her, but she did not remember what they were. She only remembered them looking over her and smiling. But now, Sesshomaru-sama, who was staring back at her, was hovering over her on the ground. He said nothing but the look in his eyes reflected worry.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" asked Rin quizzically. Then it all came back to her. She gasped and noticed that he was still bleeding. A dark trail of blood had flowed down the once immaculate white kimono and formed a little pool around him. Quickly she got up and pulled at her sleeve, tearing it at the seams. She used it to absorb the blood by placing pressure on the wound and stop the bleeding.

"It is a good thing that you did not rupture something vital," he said with a grimace as he sat up straighter.

"You could have blocked it," said Rin quietly.

"I could not have blocked it without my sword."

"You should not have risked it," whispered Rin, flustered at her inability to control her actions and his indifference at suffering such an injury by her hand. Tears welled up in her eyes.

"There is nothing I would not have risked in that moment," he replied, looking up and brushing the tear from her eye with a finger. He mustered a half smile on his lips. Rin stared at him, trying to comprehend his thoughts. His expression told her that he cared deeply for her. In that moment she knew that if he was unable to save her, he would have killed her and died with her. She was speechless at the thought of a prince of demons having such profound feelings for her, a mere human.

"Gomenasai, Sesshomaru-sama. What I did to you was unforgivable," she said remorsefully. "Even as a ghost I would have been sad to have been the one who caused your death."

"It matters not," said Sesshomaru, his face nearly expressionless.

"It matters to me," responded Rin. After a pause, she added, "Please do not attempt such a thing again. If and when I die, I will find comfort even beyond the grave knowing that you care for me. That you will not forget me."

"I could not…, " began Sesshomaru. He paused to find the words. A small smile approached his lips. "Baka no koto," he said plainly in a soft, deep voice that was almost a whisper, as he looked directly into her eyes. Rin could feel the blood and temperature rising in her face. She was once again pulled into his golden eyes and lost in their intended meaning.

Translation key:

Kire daiyou: so pretty

Bakabakashi: ridiculous

Me wo samashite: wake up/open your eyes

Sukinishiro: do as you please (reference to scene in Taiyou tou Tsuki)

Baka no koto: what a foolish thing (to say)