My parents insist on parting me and my laptop at every possible oppurtunity! NEEEEEHHHH! Sorry for not updating sooner. I'm an asshole. Anywhoo, read. DO EET NAO.

Disclaimer: I think you know by now what I'm gonna say. But for new readers or idiots or Americans, I do not own, like, anything mentioned in this chapter except my OC's.

A random pressure on my abdomen, and a killer headache, pull me from my peaceful slumber. My eyes flutter open, adjust to the light, and find themselves staring into nearly identical ones. Sitting on my stomach is a certain albino Prussian, who is staring into my soul. Okay, maybe not really, but the way he's looking at me is creepy. It takes me a moment to register what's going on, but when I do...

"AUGHH! FUCK!" I scream, thrashing wildly until I hear a dull thump and the weight is gone. I lean panting over the end if the bed, looking at Gilbert. Why does everybody insist on crushing me to wake me up? Gilbert rolls over and props himself up un his elbows, smirking at me. That's when I realize he's not wearing any clothes. He was straddling me, in my sleep, in his underwear. That's not perverted and/or creepy at all! Also, his underwear has little Gilbirds on them, but that's not the point.

"Did I surprise you, Starr?" Gil asks. I look at him in disbelief. "No, I'm used to being woken up by underdressed men sitting on me at-" I glance at the clock and facepalm inside. "Six twelve in the morning." I finish, voice dripping with sarcasm. However, it's lost on the idiot because he looks at the door with what can only be called awe and his eyes widen. "Wow, Tony must be one sick guy then." he says, shaking his head. I look at the guy in disgust and hit him with a pillow. "I was just kidding. Anyways, now that I'm awake and have, like, no chance of getting back to sleep after this rather scarring experience, I guess I can get up and make some breakfast if you want it." I say, brushing my hair out of my eyes.

Gils face lights up and he jumps up. "Yeah! Come on, let's go!" he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my feet. Unfortunately, that little bitch called head rush attacks, and I fall backwards onto the bed with Gil still gripping my arm. This causes him to fall on top of me,with one hand on either side of my body, so I'm pinned. We sit there stunned for a second. Of course, Tony chooses that moment to walk in- the heavens must hate me. Gilbert and I turn and stare a him, and he stares back. The plastic bowl of cereal he was holding clatters to the floor. Well, that's pretty dramatic, isn't it? Anyways, the room is filled with awkwardness, and I decide to voice my thoughts.

"Awkward." all three of us say simultaneously. Another moment of silence, then we all burst into laughter. Come on, who wouldn't laugh in this situation? Your housemate and a random clothesless guy are on a bed, and you walk in randomly. Okay after I think about it, it's not that funny, but still. We are laughing now. After the laughter subsides into a few scattered giggles, Tony finally has the common sense to ask what exactly is going on.

"What exactly is going on here?" he asks, eyeing our rather compromising position. Gil and I realize that we still haven't moved, and we scramble around until we are on opposite sides of the bed.

"Well, Gilbert woke me up by crushing me, then he was in his underwear on the floor because I kicked him off-"

"Rather unawesomely" Gilert adds, and I ignore him and continue.

"-And then I offered to make him breakfast, and he pulled me up, but head rush happened and I fell over and pulled him with me and we landed weirdly and then you walked in." I say in one long rush, and Tony arches an eyebrow. "I think I got that. So you're saying this wasn't on purpose...?" he says, reaching down to pick up his cereal bowl. He reaches over and grabs something to wipe up the mess; however, upon realizing what the cloth is, he promptly throws it across the room.

"Augh! Undies!" he screeches, throwing the purple boy shorts aross the room. I start laughing, and then the other boys join in. Then, still chuckling, Gilbert looks at me. "Hey bitch, go make me breakfast." he says, pointing out the door. I shoot him a "seriously?" look, and nod. "Fine. Just don't call me that."

Tony steps in between us. "Um... you don't want to do that. Starr's not exactly Top Chef of the Year. How about I make some pancakes?" he says, shooting a glance at me. I pout and cross my arms.

"Come on, I'm not that bad! I can make... um... cereal?" I say, tucking my hair behing my ear. Tony rolls his eyes. "Girl, you could burn water ir you're not careful. How about you just let me do the cooking, kay?" I look down at the floor. "Fine. Let's go downstairs. But!" I say, stopping Gil in his tracks. "Go put some clothes on first, Gil." The albino looks at the floor in defeat and walks out. Tony and I go downstairs, and Tony goes into the kitchen to get started on thr pancakes.

Ivan is awake and watching television, as I see when I turn to the couch. I go and sit down beside him. The small Russian looks at me, then turns his attention back to the tv. "This yellow sponge is funny, da?" he says, eyes glued to the tv that I now see is playing Spongebob. I nod. "Yeah. It's pretty funny." Just then, Gilbert runs/falls downstairs and comes immediately over to the couch. The next thing he does is reach over my shoulder and grab my breasts.

"Hey! No! Off! Bad Gilbert!" I cry, slapping him France-style. He releases me and comes over to sit on my other side. For the next fifteen minutes we watch Spongebob, and it's almost peaceful. Tony brings in the pancakes, hands us each a plate, an we dig in. Just as I finish my third pancake, the doorbell rings. Seriously?

"Okay guys, stay here. Tony, Gil, no throwing Ivan around. And be quiet!" I call as I head to the front door. Sure enough, when I open the door, there's a huge crate with Carl peeking out form behing it.

"Oh, hey Carl. Back again?" I say, stating the obvious. Carl nods and hands me the signy thingy. "Here, sign it. I don't have much time today." I sign my name and hand it back to him. "Thanks. Enjoy your unit! Bye!" he says, power-walking back to his truck. I shrug and haul the crate inside. That was the fastest exchange we've had so far. The three boys peek their heads around the corner curiously. I beckon them over, and they obey.

"Okay, so what'cha got there, Albie?" asks Tony, and I thump him. "I don't know yet, idiot. I can't even reach the manual because some bastard decided to leave it on top of the box this time." I say, jumping and missing the top to prove my point. Damn you, shortness! However, Gil reaches up to the top of the crate, feels around for a second, then pulls off the manual and hands it to me. Everyone gathers around and I flip it over to look at the title.

MATTHEW WILLIAMS: User Guide and Manual

I let out a breath as everyone else asks the generic question: "Who?" Finally, a relatively sane nation! After a quick reminder of who Canada is, and an "Ohhh!" from everybody, I decide to find out how to wake up Matthew.

"Let's see. Umm, the first one is fine, I guess, but we also have pancakes right here... I know, I'll do both!" I run to the kitchen and grab two leftover pancakes (yes, there were leftovers, Tony made a lot!) and run back into the living room. I start to sing the Canadian national anthem, having Gil put the pancakes on top at the same time.

There's a loud thump from inside the box, which definitely did not scare the living daylights out of me, followed by a few more subsequent thumps until the crate finally splinters and a rather confused-looking Canada steps out. He looks around,sniffing the air. I guess he can smell the pancakes after all. He notices me and the other boys (who are looking around, obviously not seeing anybody) and walks over. Before he can reach me, I sort of go up to him and give him a hug. He stiffens for a second -not like that, you perverts!- but then relaxes. "Um, excuse me miss, but can you actually see me?" he asks quietly. I hold him by the shoulders at arm's length. "Of course I can! Here, I'll just get these guys." I release the smiling Matthew. I grab Gilbert, Tony, and Ivan's wrists and pull them over to Matthew.

"Guys, this is Matthew, Canada, and you will do your best to remember him. Matthew, this is Gilbert, Ivan, and Tony." I say, gesturing to the boys respectively. Matthew nods politely to each of them, then turns to me. "Er-you didn't introduce yourself, miss." he says, looking down awkwardly at his feet.

"Sorry. I'm Starr, the owner of this house and general caretaker of this motley crew." I say, smiling slightly up at Matthew. Yeah, I have to look up to him, but it's just a little, okay? Anyways, he looks around. "I also smelled pancakes. Do you happen to have any around here, maybe?" I nod and get Gilbert's attention, pulling him away from his argument/conversation with Tony and Ivan. He grabs the plate of pancakes from on top of the crate, then returns to whatever he was doing.

I hand the plate to Matt, which he happily takes. I remember something, dashing into the kitchen and returning with a glass bottle. Matthew takes it gratefully, using the contents to douse his food in maple syrup. Looks like everything's good for now, so I go and sit down on the couch. I think I'll watch something on Netflix. After browsing for a minute, I decide on some random movie and settle in. Maybe these guys won't be too bad.

A/N If only you knew, Starr. Anywhoo, next chapter I have something generic but also awesome planned... can you guess what it is? It's something most, if not all, manual fics have! I will shut up now so that I don't give it all away. Read and review!

~Awesome exit from What The Crapola Is This (full name woohoo!)