A/N: So as I promised this chapter is more Red Queen centric even if the beginning doesn't seem like it. As a fair warning this is a chapter with a lot of dialogue, so please be aware of more telling than showing. I also didn't reread it completely so I apologize for the mistakes. I just wanted this uploaded and out of the way before New Year, I hope to have the next chapter somewhere between the first and second week of January. Have a happy New Year's Eve and best of luck for 2015! Thank you for following, reading, and favoriting this story and myself as a write. I wish you all the best of luck for the upcoming year.
September 1, 2013 (Present Time) – Arendelle
The Arendelle palace seems to have become much cooler within a span of the few minutes it takes Meg to walk from Queen Elsa's study back to her temporary bedroom. The Grecian is pretty sure she can see her own breath come out in puffs, something that clearly should not be happening until around mid-way through the next moon or the one after.
Her mind rambling is cut short when she reaches her bedroom and settles herself of the bed. She needs to contact Hades and the forest seems like a lonely and dark place to do it but asking him to appear in the middle of her room is just as risky. Meg huffs she hates that she's become the messenger, even if it's her own damn fault that she's so nosey.
"Hey there Nut-Meg, what's the buzz?"
Meg shivers at the pale blue hand that lands on her shoulder before she flicks it off and twirls coming into contact with Hades. The Greek God looks exactly the same since she met him five or six years ago, pale blue skin, bald with bluer flames for hair, and greedy eyes.
"Hades," Meg greets rolling her eyes, as she stands and closes the door to the chamber. "Fancy meeting you here."
"Well I was beginning to wonder when I would hear from you again," Hades yawns as he takes a seat on the long cushion near the chimney.
"Please, make yourself at home," Meg grits out as she comes to stand in front of him resting her weight against the nearest bedpost. "What do you want?"
"The council is getting angsty," Hades comments waving his hand. "I thought it was time I paid you a visit, see how things were going."
"Things would be better if I didn't have someone constantly hovering over my shoulder," Meg states as she crosses her arms.
"Well, now you know I can't do that," Hades chuckles as he stands up and comes closer to the younger woman. "Now why don't you tell me, why this is taking so long? Is the Ice Queen giving you a hard time?"
Meg swallows momentarily at the closed distance and the nickname that's been given to Elsa.
"She's smarter than we gave her credit for," Meg confesses. "A lot smarter, she likes to think things through and she's cautious on who she's around. I hadn't seen her powers until earlier today and I've been with her for a few months now."
"Is that all you have to report on?" Hades pushes curious as to why Meg seems so guarded.
"She cares for her sister above anything else, but she's a good Queen," Meg explains. "However, she seems to have drawn her own fair share of diplomatic enemies. She's preparing for war against a pesty Prince from the Southern Isles: Hands, no wait Hans."
"Ah," Hades sighs before turning to observe the brunette.
"Yes," Meg says as she straightens her posture at the burning gaze on her. "So she's quite busy and uncertain about the offer."
"Well then that needs to change," Hades mentions, "have you turned up the charm? You know made her feel comfortable around you instead of your hard, sarcastic self?"
Meg scoffs at Hades' comment, she's charming in her own way. And she knows she's got Elsa around her finger almost completely wrapped except apparently the blonde Monarch has managed to accomplish the same thing.
"Of course, I have," Meg exclaims. "The priority here is she's more worried about her own kingdom as any Queen should be instead of herself."
"I see…then I guess it's time we pay a little visit to the source of her problems," Hades contemplates tapping his chin in the process. "So here's what's going to happen, we'll play intervention and you prepare dear Queen Elsa for a conversation. We'll see the process from there and soon hopefully she'll be right where we need her. You can be dismissed now, Meg. Thank you for helping sweetheart."
He disappears in a cloud of blue smoke before Meg can even roll her eyes.
There's a knock on the door and Meg's stomach flips—what if someone heard them.
"Megara," Anna's voice drifts over slightly tense and darker than accustomed to the bubbly princess. "Elsa is requesting your presence for afternoon tea."
Meg swallows and nods before she realizes Anna can't see her.
"Please inform, Her Majesty," Meg says pulling on her Megara persona, "that I shall be joining both of you shortly."
September 3, 2013 (Present Time) – Outside The Southern Isles
The forest surrounding part of the Southern Isle (it's not really part of the smaller islands or the main land) is thick and slightly cold, but the army of twenty or so men sit enjoying a nightly meal. They'll be forced to keep marching tomorrow towards Arendelle one more, they had scoped out the area two days before and seen nothing.
Prince Hans sat inside his clearly larger tent with two of his brothers next to him—Prince George, seventh in line to the throne and Prince John, tenth in line to the throne. Together they sit discussing tactics on the best form of attack.
"Hans, you need to think clearly," Prince George argues waving his goblet around to emphasize his point. "Attacking her upfront will be the best decision."
"Would you like to die?" Prince Hans questions gravely as he pulls at the gloves on his hand. "She's not an idiot, George and she's not just a Queen. She's a powerful woman."
"But she's a woman," Prince John points out and George laughs in the background. "You can't honestly say that you're afraid of a woman."
Prince Hans starts to blush in both embarrassment and frustration at the stupidity of his brothers meanwhile Prince George and Prince John laugh loudly not noticing the presence of newcomers.
"And just what do you believe women are capable of doing?" Ursula chuckles darkling as the tent darkens.
Immediately the three princes are on their feet reaching for their swords. Forming a triangle back to back observing the tent which has become full with the presence of six new comers, three women and two men, well one man and a boy.
"Those would prove quite useless," Hades comments as he walks calmly into the middle. "How rude of us let us introduce ourselves. My name is Hades, and I'm the God of the Underworld."
"Ursula, Sea Monstress," Ursula smiles revealing a nice pair of sharp shark like teeth, she bows her eight tentacles underneath her.
"Ingrid the Snow Queen," a tall blonde woman dressed in all white states.
The woman next to Ingrid is about the same height and she's dressed in all black including black gloves and a black eye mask.
"Zelena," She presents herself, "or to you the Wicked Witch of the West."
"Ignore these foolish games," Peter Pan mentions. "I have business to settle and you're in the middle of it."
"Am I?" Hans taunts arrogantly, "go home boy, you're interrupting an important meeting."
"Boy?" Pan questions arching an eyebrow before raising his hand and having the three Princes crumple to the ground. "Boy? Oh, I am so much more than a boy, son. So I suggest you listen to me now. You are interrupting with my plans and I can't have that so here's what I'm proposing: you leave little good old Arendelle alone and I not only let you live, but promise you that Arendelle will one day be yours to conquer."
"And why would I trust you?" Hans questions spitefully from his position under Pan.
Pan only laughs darkly walking closer to the egomaniac prince and jerks his chin in order to look into green eyes.
"You don't have a choice," Pan commands. "Now, stay away from the Ice Queen or you'll see that the last thing you ever witnessed was the murder of your two brothers."
Hans swallows but nods as Peter heads towards the door.
"Oh and Hades," Pan adds, "make sure His Majesty returns with the other two back to their place, I don't want to see them lurking around."
September 16, 2013 (Present Time) – Arendelle
"Grinding you teeth is only going to ruin them and make your jaw hurt," Megara comments as she watches the young Queen pace her office.
Queen Elsa stops momentarily turning to regard the stretched out brunette who's reading on her long seated cushion.
"He should have been here by now," Elsa berates to herself unaware that Megara still heard, as she looks outside the window that's begun to become frosted.
"Who?" Megara asks playing dumb watching over the edge of her book as the Queen curls up her hands.
"Hans," Queen Elsa spits out, tightening and untightening her fists. "He should have attacked by now."
"I told you," Megara sighs sitting up and watching the blonde being to pace again. "Hades would take care of it."
"And how can I trust this Hades?" Queen Elsa questions turning towards the brunette unaware that her slight change in temper has dropped the temperature in the room. "I've never met him and you don't talk a whole lot about him."
Megara swallows as icy blue eyes narrow and drill into her own lilac colored ones.
"Do you trust me?" Meg questions—and Meg is surprised because it's her asking it's not Megara like it should be.
Queen Elsa seems to be just as startled because her eyes have widened as well and her mouth has dropped a bit.
It takes another moment for the blonde Queen to gather herself but she nods and slowly answers.
"Yes, of course I trust you." Elsa's reply is soft, only loud enough for Meg to hear her.
"Then trust me when I say Hades has taken care of it," Meg states, coming closer to the monarch and taking her hands to give them a comforting squeeze.
"What a lovely moment to interrupt," Hades slow claps watching the blonde jump in and Meg yank her hands back. "But alas I must, Meg –darling it's good to see you again."
"Who are you?" Queen Elsa demands the authority she displays as Queen backing up the hard core demeanor she hid behind.
"Meg, what you haven't talked about me?" Hades feints resting a hand over his chest. "I'm hurt…let me introduce myself, I'm Hades, God of the Underworld."
Queen Elsa regards him with a raised eyebrow making sure to keep her eyes on him as he glides further into the study. Her hands have come to rest in front her folded nicely but she can feel the cool flow of magic traveling through them.
"Queen Elsa," Queen Elsa greets stiffly. "How did you get in?"
Hades smiles as he waves his hand around a blue flame travels around them, making Elsa's breath pick up and eyes widen slightly—something both Meg and Hades notice.
"Magic as you would say I believe," Hades answers enjoying how unsettled the Queen is becoming.
Meg for her part is starting to become concerned at the slight sheen of sweat that's building on Elsa's face. So taking matters into her own hands as she's used to, the Grecian approaches the two magical beings.
"Hades," Meg (not Megara, she's never Megara with Hades), "what are you doing here?"
"I came to see about our little deal," Hades answers truthfully turning to observe both women and taking note of Meg's more abrasive posture as she glances at Elsa – interesting.
"I told you I needed time," Meg hisses, she hates it—absolutely loathes when others interfere in her plans or deadlines.
"You're running low as am I," Hades replies, turning to look at a now quiet but observant Elsa. Hmm, the God thinks, Meg was right—she is much smarter than Pan gave her credit, more skeptical which would be a problem. "Elsa, can I call you Elsa? Or Els?"
Elsa looks offended at the rough exterior this man is presenting her with.
"It's Queen Elsa," Queen Elsa mandates walking closer ignoring Meg's body shift in order to stop her. "So no, you may not call me Elsa or Els. Now, to what do I owe the visit that has breached my security and those of Arendelle?"
"Els," Hades laughs ignoring the twitch of an eyebrow but glancing quickly down at the twitch of pale fingers. "Elsa, relax I'm just here to deliver some good news and ask a few questions. So let's all take a deep breath and breathe, alright?"
"What do you need, Hades?" Meg interrupts feeling the room's temperature drop.
"I just came to say that Prince Hans has been taken care of," Hades says, his eyes locked on the Queen of Arendelle.
"And what is it that you wish to say, Hades?" Queen Elsa orders not liking how comfortable the God is becoming.
"I'm sure Meg, good old Meg here, has talked about what I do and what I would like to offer you," Hades smiles cockily and invitingly (all teeth, something that unnerves Elsa).
"Hades—" Meg starts only to have Queen Elsa's hand go up in a halting motion.
"What is it that you offer?" Queen Elsa asks taking a seat behind her desk and gesturing at the chair in front of it.
Hades grins internally at the shift from the monarch. Meg was right, he thinks, she's a lot smarter than any of them gave her credit for. Definitely a woman filled with the power that Pan needs and wants.
"We all know you have powers, your Majesty," Hades establishes pointing out the starting outline of frost on the desk under where Elsa's hands rest. "I'm here to offer you a chance to learn how to control them completely while helping someone in return."
"And who is this someone in return?" Queen Elsa inquires, letting all of the information she's receiving rest in the back of her mind.
"His name is Peter Pan and he's a very powerful influence," Hades informs smirking at the pensive look on the younger woman's face.
"Well, Sir Hades," Queen Elsa starts to speak—she speaks slowly, letting the sentence articulate fully inside her head. "I value your offer and I appreciate what you've done for Arendelle, but I am not looking for a tutor and unless I am to meet this mysterious Peter Pan, I cannot accept your offer. I hope you understand and I wish you a pleasant return home, please—now if you'll excuse me, I must go meet with my officers in command. Sir, Megara."
The twist in Elsa's eyes throws Hades before he nods accepting the current answer. Swiftly and with mouth slightly agape he watches Elsa leave while Meg stares with a proud small smirk. The door shuts and both Greeks sit quietly until they're positive the Queen is out of earshot.
"She's powerful," Hades comments, running his hand on the desk which is coated in a very fine layer of snow. "And feisty, you landed yourself some work here, Meg."
Meg huffs as she rolls her eyes and comes to take a seat next to her former employer.
"Tell me about it," Meg means for her answer to carry weight and annoyance, but she grimaces when she herself can detect some fondness in her statement. "What are you going to do now?"
"Me?" Hades repeats, running his hand through the flames a top his head. "I need to talk to Pan and then discuss some other things, for me this is all fun and games: for others not so much. You, however, have a lot of work to do. Pan is not going to be happy with the results which means that your life may be on the line."
"What?" Meg exclaims, her arms uncrossing themselves at the blunt statement.
"You heard, Meg," Hades says, "you either convince her to join or you may be next of Pan's list. I can no longer protect you, you're no longer mine; you're own your own. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some villains to report to, I'll catch you later, Meg."
"Bastard," Meg curses seeing the God disappear in a cloud of blue smoke.
It takes her a moment to collect herself but when she does Meg can only stare hard at the already melting snow on the Queen desk.
"Elsa…" Meg whispers, not unsure for the first time since her journey began, "what am I going to do? What am I supposed to do?"
September 20, 2013 (Present Time) – Enchanted Forrest
The tavern in the middle of various territories in the Enchanted Forrest is lit and full of pirates, peasants, hookers and people needing to forget their lives. In the back at the biggest table sit the group of Villains who make up the unnamed council.
"Is there honestly not another place where we can meet?" Gaston complains out as he takes a seat in the table at the back.
"Stop complaining," Ursula bites as she turns to regard the leader of the little group.
Pan is seating at the head of the table, Felix is to his right, followed by Hades, Ursula, Gaston, Ingrid and Zelena a few others sat scattered around.
"Now what has Queen Elsa told you," Pan asks directed his attention at Hades.
Hades frowns and shakes his head. "She's declined, but give it time…she'll join soon enough."
"We're running out of time," Ingrid spoke. "Pan's heart won't last forever and Zelena can only keep herself hidden for so long and I'm getting impatient—"
"Oh shut up," Pan interrupts, "you just want to make sure Elsa remains unharmed."
Ingrid narrows her eyes but stops speaking and beside her feels Zelana shift.
"What's the progress on the spell?" Zelena questions. "If I was correct the only way to the land where the Dark One resides is though the Dark Curse or a portal by means of a magical object or magical beans."
Pan laughs darkly and Felix follows suits before answering the witch's question.
"Leave that to me," Pan informs, "I just need the last ingredient."
"Elsa?" Ursula states.
"Elsa's magic," Pan corrects, ignoring the indignant sound that leaves Ingrid's lips. "After she accepts and is given the potion, her magic will begin to fuel the portal that shall transport us to our happy endings. That is as soon as I receive the draining potion from you."
Zelena rolls her eyes as Pan turns his gaze onto her, she waves him off.
"You'll get it when the girl says yes," Zelena negotiates. "I'm not wasting my magic on a lost cause, so until she agrees—the answer is no."
Greedily Pan nods and turns to the rest of the table.
"Once the portal is open we'll cross it and take what's rightfully ours. You'll get your third sister, you'll destroy yours, Belle will be all yours, Ariel will finally pay, you'll have your fun angering a problem that not even your brother will be able to fix and I'll get the dagger of the Dark One," Pan says looking each villain in the eyes starting with Ingrid, then Zelena, Gaston, Ursula, Hades, and ending with himself.
September 29, 2013 – New York City
Two glasses of red wine rest on the center glass table of the living room. The sun is setting and the warm light is flittering into the spacious apartment. Regina is changing in her bedroom hanging up the phone from the recent conversation she's having with Henry. And Ruby is leaving the kitchen with a plate of different chocolates to munch on while they watch a movie. In the background a mixed playlist of both of their tastes plays; Sara Bareilles 'I Choose You' currently playing.
Sighing as she grabs a magazine and hears Regina moving in the other room, Ruby sits her legs extended on the couch. The waitress thumbs through said magazine, squinting once in a while at the very fine text, her hair tied back into a loose ponytail and she's ready for a night of fun with her Regina.
The former mayor exits her room moments later dressed comfortably for a night in. Much like the taller brunette Regina is wearing a comfy t-shirt along with a pair of workout calf-length leggings.
"So have you picked a movie?" Regina questions settling herself on the other edge of the couch with her glass of wine now balanced in her hand.
Ruby who's rearranged herself of couch (she now sits with her feet tucked underneath her) shakes her head and answers: "No I thought I'd let you pick."
Regina nods and takes as sip before her fingers start flickering though the channels trying to find something interesting, however, nothing seems to grab the older brunette's attention so the television flickers off. Regina settles further into the couch grabbing her book, smiling as she opens it to the last page she was on. At the same time Regina's hands moves to the drawer on the side table from the couch for her glasses case. Setting back into a comfy position Regina closes her eyes and breathes in the relative moment of quiet only for the moment to be short lived when Ruby speaks.
"So much for peace," Regina mumbles.
"I heard that," Ruby chuckles dryly.
"I meant for that to happen," Regina states reaching over for another drink of wine. "Why the need to interrupt?"
Ruby doesn't answer right away and that give Regina a reason to direct her full attention back to her book. She's about to shift her glasses into the right position when Ruby speaks once again, giving up knowing she isn't about to read, Regina shuts the book and settles it back onto the side table.
"Do you think it's odd?"
"Do I think what's odd, dear?"
"That we never talk about our past? That we've known each other since what feels like forever, but that we really don't know one another? I mean we're living together have been for almost a year and are now in…in a relationship? Yet how much do we really know about one another? Does that worry or bother you?"
Regina raises a brow at the ramble of questions escaping the other woman's mouth. Ruby for her part begins to play with her fingers while she bites her lower lip unsurely.
"No I don't, think it's odd. Nor does it bother me," Regina answers truthfully, "I believe that our relationship is unique and that it doesn't have to follow "typical" milestones. Our past helped shape us and probably still does. I believe and think we'll eventually hit a point where we must talk about our pasts, however, it's not something that can be forced much like I can't force you to use you reading glasses."
"You know about those?" Ruby questions incredulous.
"I'm not blind or stupid, Ruby. I do notice your eyes squinting because it's something I do too—"
"Wait," Ruby interrupts, "you wear glasses?"
"Normally when I read," Regina answers rolling her eyes at the younger woman, "that's not the point, the point being that our past will eventually become up bit it's something we'll each have to decide. Why does it bother you?"
Ruby shifts in her seat letting the other woman's words sink in.
"No! …yes…maybe…ugh I don't know, I feel like it's weird that we've never talked about it …" Ruby trails off.
Regina turns her body allowing less space to be between them and giving Ruby access to more physical contact, if she needs it. And Ruby takes the open invitation and moves into Regina's arms. Almost immediately the former monarch's arms are wrapped around her comfortably and securely. And Regina starts running her left hand through Ruby's hairs coaxing the other brunette to continue.
"…would it be too soon if I wanted to talk about mine?"
Regna's hands pauses for a second before continuing an answer forming in her head.
There's a sigh before Regina shifts them into more of a sitting position. Her arms are still wrapped around the taller brunette, Ruby's head resting lightly on Regina's chest, her feet still tucked underneath her.
"I'm all ears," Regina states mentally preparing herself. "Whenever you're ready."
Ruby for her part takes a moment to gather herself; wanting to share and actually sharing are two different things.
"I don't know where to begin," Ruby confesses after trying and failing to speak. "How pathetic is that? I'm the one who wants to talk, but can't."
Regina shifts again (from under the waitress); her voice a calm whisper and her fingers still run through the long dark hair.
"What would you like me to know?"
"Everything," Ruby mentions glancing over her shoulder into dark brown eyes. "I'm afraid…no, I' petrified of this—that this is too good to be true. I've nerve had luck with love and I'm scared of screwing this up. I'm not normal and I don't mean that just in the sense of the wolf, I mean that in relationships. I was the girl who ate her boyfriend, the whore and slut queen of Storybrooke who fell in love with her best friend only to get rejected. I'm not good in relationships and I'm just so so scared of messing this one up Regina."
"Ruby," Regina murmurs, seeing the other woman's tears and feeling her own heart begin to crack.
There's a silence that settles over them while both women gather their thoughts. Its a few minutes later when Regina opens her mouth to speak.
"I was fifteen when I met Daniel for the very first time. He was new at the stables, the new stable boy," Regina tells, a whimsical smile spreading over her face. "This was before I rescued Snow White and met Leopold. Daniel, he was the Stable Boy and I, I was 'A Lady in the Making'. When we first met, he was no Prince Charming—no he was bitter, sarcastic, witty and very moody. I wonder where I learnt that from."
Regina pauses at the slight giggle from Ruby and she herself chuckles.
"Looking back on it now, I can't believe he was the one. He was 'roguishly' handsome at eighteen making him even more attractive and unattainable to me. At first I skirted around him, tried to get a feeling of what he might have thought of me. I flirted just the right amount, giggled and played with him; I tried wooing him, but the only answers I received were brash and very Daniel. So, I gave up and decided that if I wanted a clear response I would need to talk to him. When I finally confronted him, I called him out on every little detail of his behavior and he had the decency to be ashamed before he smirked a good for nothing cocky smirk. He was amused by my lecturing and ranting and that infuriated me. Thus I reacted by kissing him. I threw myself at him and kissed him and he kissed me back. That's how our relationship started a few months before I turned sixteen. Mind you before Daniel, I was a very reserved and educated young lady, but…he taught me how to be free, to loosen up, to let go and have fun."
There's another pause and Ruby's not sure if she should speak up or allow Regina to continue. Part of her wishes to speak but Regina's offering up this part of her past something that the older woman doesn't do often. Looking over her shoulder once again at the body encompassing herself, Ruby's hazel eyes observe the pained glaze phasing through dark brown eyes.
"And then I turned eighteen," Regina continues after a second, choking on the following words. "I turned eighteen and I lost him."
A struggled sob leaves the former mayor's lips and Ruby feels Regina's arms retract from around her to wrap around herself. Taking this as a cue to give each other a little bit more room to breathe Ruby allows a small space to separate them from one another instead sits next to, but still facing the other woman.
"I let me fears get the best of me and I lost him. I wasn't strong enough to save him. I could have stopped my mother and I didn't—I was weak. I let Daniel die in front of me and I couldn't so much as scream for help. I just watched—I watched pathetically as his heart was ripped out and crushed into dust. I couldn't help him—I froze."
There's another chuckle that leaves Regina's lips, but this time it's a bitter and harsh chuckle. One that would have the inhabitants of Storybrooke squirming in their seats due to how sinister it sounded.
"For months following I hated myself—I still do. I hated the fact that I did nothing to help him. And when I finally accepted his death was my fault, that it was caused by me; I was completely consumed by hatred that I couldn't look past the feelings inside me. I was completely absorbed in my anger, self-loathing, self-hatred, anger at my mother and anger at Snow for being a little snitch that it was so easy, oh so so easy letting the darkness contain me. Thus, The Evil Queen was born and so was the darkness her time would bring."
Ruby doesn't speak when Regina finishes talking; one because she's not sure she should speak so soon and two she has no idea what she'd say. There's a heavy cloud resting over them and neither woman is quite ready to break the somber mood.
"Ruby," Regina starts, turning so she can look directly into Ruby's eyes. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm scared too. I've fallen in love more times that I've ever wanted and each time I've managed to harm or push them away entirely. Or I've forced people to 'care' for me, manipulated them, controlled them or used them…and I don't want to do that with you. I don't want you to be another person to add to my tally mark of errors—of personal errors. So, no Ruby…I'm not sure that this…"
Regina gestures her left hand between them to show a visual example of her words.
"That this will be easy or smooth. I'm not expecting it to be—just like I'm not, not expecting to snap at you ever. I'm just as scared if not more of losing you or messing this up, but I can promise you Ruby one thing. I can promise that no matter how many times I shut down on you, or snap at you, or insult you—I won't leave you Ruby. I am not going to run away from you ever."
Ruby doesn't think she's ever heard Regina sound so earnest, but the waitress can hear all of the weight behind all of the other woman's words and she can register her own tears falling. It's not a sweet confession, in fact it's slightly bitter and rude but it's nothing but the truth and that's all that matters to both of them.
"Thank you," Ruby mumbles barely about a whisper as she wipes away the oncoming tears. "It's been a long time since someone said anything like that. The last time I felt this comfortable was with Peter and we all know how that ended…"
Regina's right hand lands on the taller brunette's thigh and she squeezes softly enough to bring the younger woman back into the present instead of in the dark path that is that past in their minds.
"Would you like to tell me more about it?" Regina asks retracting her hand and reaching for her glass of wine. "I mean I know the general premises and information of what happened but we both know that there's always more to it than what's being said."
Ruby contemplates for a second what Regina is asking of her but it takes less than a moment to decide whether she feels comfortable enough or not to share the past the she tries to flee from every day.
"Peter and I were very close friends before anything else. We practically grew up together and somewhere along the line we fell in love. He was all I had ever wanted and that's when the wolf attacks began. It was fine at first Peter and I were doing great and the wolf was young a new born. I had just turned sixteen, my wolf wasn't strong enough to cause any major damage. But as time passed and Peter and I grew in our relationship, together and separately—so did my wolf. As Peter and I became more serious, the wolf became more dangerous. And then I met Snow, I met her two moons before my twentieth birthday making her—"
"Eighteen," Regina adds softly.
Ruby nods and swallows as she herself finds her glass of wine and drinks. There's a slight pause and Regina observes the younger woman collect herself for the next part of the story.
"She was so…so filled of hope and illusion…"
A bittersweet chuckle escapes both, Regina and Ruby's, lips at that notion.
"And during that time I was naïve enough to believe her. I was also rebellious and Granny held a tight leash on me."
Regina nods knowing exactly how aware the older woman held over her grandchild. She recalls lightly the favor she did for the older werewolf when she was younger—there might be a day when she tells Ruby of her encounter with Granny or with a young version of Ruby herself, but for now she keeps those thoughts away and returns her attention to brunette.
"…Snow and I, we thought we knew everything—that we had everything figured out. We were fools. And after we convinced ourselves that Peter was the wolf we formed a very idiotic plan only to have it backfire when I turned into the wolf. I killed Peter, Regina. I killed my own boyfriend and didn't regret it. I ate him—he begged me to stop and I didn't. I murdered him."
Regina doesn't say anything; it's not like her words will have any sort of impact and she's pretty sure she knows Ruby well enough to know that words of comfort would be unwarranted and unappreciated. Instead the former mayor chooses to reach over and pour themselves another glass of wine. They raise their glasses together and just let a cloud of silence envelope them. The apartment remains tranquil, their music still playing lightly in the background with the occasional honk or siren from passing cars in the busy city of New York.
It's only when they're almost done with their second glass of wine that Regina breaks the stillness around them. Her hands are playing with the stem of the glass and her gaze is focused solidly on the red hue liquid inside.
"I killed Graham," Regina states. "I've killed many people but none of them have ever truly made an impact. Graham was different, as was my father but for two completely different reasons. My father was a personal vendetta and Graham was as well, but different. Graham worked for me back in the Enchanted Forrest. He was loyal, reliable, and trustworthy—I cared for him as a friend until he betrayed me. When I let my best knight go because I knew I was spiraling into a pit of darkness, Graham became my only confident. I trusted him with only the most important details and he easily followed through except with one and that led to my downfall. It led to the blood thirsty war that began my regime as The Evil Queen.
As time passed in the Enchanted Forrest, becoming The Evil Queen never truly bothered me. I don't think I regret it, I guess that's why makes me the constant villain—having no remorse. I bet it made me a terrible Queen; being blinded by hate, arrogance and power. I led the—my kingdom into countless wars and I put them through hell and back part of it as vengeance at Snow, but I don't think I was an overall horrible monarch. My personal life interrupted minimally with the diplomatic issues I face. For ten years—since the moment I married Leopold, I became a new toy for the kingdom. And when he died I was put in charge suddenly, something my mother would have been proud of, and for the first four years I dedicated my life to that kingdom. I kept it running while Snow grew and only received spiteful commentary on what a lousy job I was doing. That fueled my already burning hatred for the place that was my prison. So in retrospect I don't ever regret becoming The Evil Queen, I don't regret most of the deaths I've caused."
To most the confession of The Evil Queen would be enough reason to lock her up, but to Ruby—Regina sounds like a woman unloading her burdens. Yes, she committed multiple crimes, but Ruby's not childish enough to believe the crimes committed aren't warranted. The werewolf doesn't have to ask about the years of marriage the Queen faced with Leopold to know she'd be crossing a line. She's well aware that Regina refuses to talk about her brief time married to Snow's father. The world isn't distinguished into two separate categories: Good and Bad, Hero and Villain, Boy and Girl, Peace and War, Black and White—there's a whole spectrum of grey in between. And most if not all people are in the middle of the shades of grey.
"And eighteen years later came Henry. And I decided that I needed to be truly happy with him. And for that to happen, I'd need to let go of the past—I need to let it remain behind me where it should always remain. And I did successfully until Emma Swan walked into town. For twenty-eight years I was no longer The Evil Queen, sure I was the disliked Mayor Mills, but people didn't look at me like I had committed murders or holocaust like some believed back in Storybrooke. Until the Savior marched into town and I felt myself spiraling once again. And with that spiral came the death of Graham.
Although, time stood still for twenty-eight years, we still needed to live—and part of living is letting go of unnecessary stress. The easiest way was sex…"
There's a blush emitting from Ruby that has Regina laughing a deep and throaty laugh.
"Graham was that for me, he served as a stress reliever," Regina explains. "Of course with him being the Sherif and me, being the Mayor that wasn't exactly proper. After all the Mayor and Sherif couldn't be in a not complicated relationship, specifically one where I knew exactly what he'd done to be betray back in the Enchanted Forrest. So he'd meet me at the manor and we'd go from there, that all changed with Ms. Swan's arrival. Of course the mess she stirred up wasn't only with me but we all know her charming attitude won her a few hearts and eyes, including Graham's. I couldn't have that so I took Graham's heart where I had it hidden and crushed it without a second thought, when I saw he was no longer reliable. It didn't' take long; just a squeeze of my hand into a fist and he was gone.
At the moment I didn't regret it, but as time went on I began to dream about it. Graham begun to haunt me and for those moments I thought that maybe I wasn't meant to be The Evil Queen forever. That maybe a little bit of pre-Queen Regina lived within me and that I was finally feeling remorse for all the pain I caused. That notion didn't last long as I kept losing Henry. So I decided that just becoming what everyone expected of me would be easier than trying to be something I hadn't been in a long time."
"You're different now," Ruby interrupts, she's not disagreeing with Regina's actions. She's just trying to get the brunette to see herself in the now instead of the back then. "You said it yourself, we no longer live in The Enchanted Forrest; we live in a world that's not home to magic. You've changed, we all have. We're not characters in stories: we're not black and white. You're not solely The Evil Queen and I'm not solely Little Red Riding Hood or The Big Bad Wolf. We're human, we're people and we all make mistakes. Some we regret and some we don't, it's what makes us human."
Regina smiles lightly and chooses to nod her head.
"You mentioned," Ruby continues after seeing that Regina isn't going to comment on anything she just said. "You mentioned, that you've fallen in love more times than you've wanted. There was Daniel and Emma? But Graham and Diana, were those ever love?"
Regina lets out a shaky breath as she shakes her head.
"Love is not necessarily always romantically," Regina explains. "I love Henry, and I loved my father and mother, but I also have grown to care greatly for Diana and Cassandra. Romantically I've fallen in love thrice, and I'm hoping that what the saying says is true when applied to me."
"Saying?" Ruby quirks her brow as she sees Regina's upper lip twitch before returning to its usual straight line.
"Third times the charm," Regina clarifies before continuing. "When I was Queen I didn't have many friends or confidents. Daniel was gone, Leopold was detestable, and I held a deep grudge against Snow. My mother was spiteful and my father stood by doing nothing, I was alone—this was before I asked or met Rumplestiltskin. I did, however, meet two people during my brief years of marriage: Tink and Mulan. You know about Tink's and my rocky past."
Ruby nods recalling a conversation she had overheard between Snow and Tink about Regina's past. Something about pixie dust/fairy dust (honestly, it was the same thing in her eyes), true love, failed test…she stopped paying attention halfway through it.
"But Mulan, Mulan was different one of my truest friends. Mulan was assigned to be my Royal Guard; she was so young when she started—just turned seventeen, I think. She had signed up for the army in her father's place in China and after defeating the Huns at fifteen she'd fallen in love with General Shang. However, after a mission delivering the Emperor's three daughters to a kingdom in alliance, General Shang and Mulan were ambushed. She lost Shang and returned without completing her duty, so she left home. Through her journey she ended up meeting someone that gave her a place in the troops of Leopold's kingdom. And in her first year she moved up in the ranks and ended up as my Royal Guard. We were wary of one another when we first met, but we were both heartbroken and that worked in our favor. We grew very close, we became each other's support. Never lovers, we skirted around and kissed a few times, but we never were lovers. She held Shang in a special place inside her heart like I did with Daniel, and her duty as my Knight kept her from adventuring past that. Mulan is a woman of honor and her word; so when I began my hunt against Snow White, I asked her to step back."
Regina stops talking causing Ruby to turn and look at the other woman. Fraught with the memories that flood back into her mind, Regina whimpers lightly and struggles to catch her breath. Ruby instantly thinks of drawing the other woman closer but changes tactics and much like Regina had done earlier rests her hand on the smaller brunette's lap.
"She wasn't happy and she fought me about it for months even threatened to tell one of my only other friends but she followed with my order," Regina explains her hand drawing patterns on top of Ruby's. "I haven't seen her since…"
"She didn't come over with the curse?" Ruby questions, relaxing at the touch.
Regina shakes her head and takes a moment to continue.
"No, I don't know where she is but she didn't come over. She was one of my truest friends so I hope that she's alright," Regina whispers.
"You mentioned another friend," Ruby says. "Do I know this other friend? Did they come over with the curse?"
"No you don't," Regina replies, "and no she didn't. Right now she's probably busy ruling her own kingdom…her own parents died when she was just about seventeen. Her sister and her were left alone, I wanted to reach back out to them, but got distracted. It's funny…this curse was supposed to give me everything I ever desired and instead in the process I lost the three people that meant the most to me. I guess there is poetry in misery."
"But you've gained other things," Ruby points out, taking Regina's hand into her own and drawing her own patterns on the older woman's hands. "You've started a new life with new people here."
"I suppose you're right, bringing me full circle to Kathryn, my last friend. We had the rocky start before getting along, but now—she's all I have left."
"No, you have me," Ruby argues softly not wanting to change the mood that's settled.
"You're sweet," Regina chuckles, brushing her hair back. "After Daniel, I thought I'd never find love again…Tink briefly made me believe that was true, but when that didn't work out—I vowed to myself that Daniel was my one and only. That held true until Emma's time in the Enchanted Forrest, somewhere along those lines I fell into an attraction for her. That developed and then we find ourselves here—with my heart broken once again."
"Is…is it still broken?" Ruby questions feeling silly. Of course it's still broken, she thinks, it's not like you're a superhero—or her superhero.
Regina frowns at the fragile question and her chest aches at the sight of a worried Ruby. The waitress has curled into herself and she's begun to play with her hands while biting her lower lip.
Reaching over, Regina makes sure to maintain eye contact as she interlaces both of their hands together.
"Yes," Regina answers—she'll never lie to Ruby, she's tired of that. "It still is broken, but…when I'm with you, I can feel it slowly pulling itself back together. It's not going to be like it once was, but with you—I feel hope that maybe one day, it'll be okay."
Ruby's breath catches in her throat at the sincerity and weight of those words, but she finds herself smiling.
"Thank you," Ruby mutters wiping the tears that are beginning to fall once more. "I must look so pathetic…"
"No, you never do," Regina promises, smiling as she slides a piece of Ruby's hair away.
A grin begins to spread over the taller woman's lips.
"I never got to finish what I wanted to tell you," Ruby laughs awkwardly.
Regina rolls her eyes and waves her hand in a continue motion.
"We've got all night any many more."
"Would you mind if we still talk about this?"
"Not exactly my cup of tea, but I wouldn't."
Ruby smiles appreciatively and takes a deep breath wiping the tear tracks from her face.
"Much like you," Ruby begins toying with the edge of her t-shirt, "I've only been in love with three people. Peter, Belle and now—you. However, I did happen to suffer through many emotional scandals leading to quite a high number of one night stands during the twenty-eight years we were cursed."
Regina wants to recoil at the thought, while she was responsible for the memories and personalities of the inhabitants of Storybrooke she rarely put in thought for the sexual fluidly they all had.
"And with the many night stands, Ruby Lucas learnt a thing or two about love," Ruby continues, not noticing the way Regina had slightly cringed. "She learnt what it feels like to not have someone to come back to every night and she learnt what it would meant to give yourself up, fully to one person. And she was terrified of that fact, she still is. Regina, as I said, love's never worked out for me—and I'm scared because no one's managed to awaken these feelings within me since Peter, not even Belle."
Regina's eyebrows raise in surprise, she never knew Ruby felt this serious about her.
"You make me want to be reckless again, Regina," Ruby confesses mimicking their earlier position with their hands. "You make me not care yet at the same time drive myself crazy with details. You make me feel like I'm me again—like I can find peace with Red and Ruby Lucas, like I can be me."
Regina stays quiet letting all of Ruby's words sink in and Ruby allows the weight of everything that's been said settle over them.
"Then…" Regina starts off, bringing herself closer to the taller brunette, "then I guess it's a good thing that you make me want to keep being better."
"So…we're slightly unconventional aren't we?" Ruby chuckles breathily as she draws Regina's face closer to her own.
"Just a tad, dear," Regina agrees brushing her lips with Ruby's.
The kiss that was meant as reconfirmation slowly but surely becomes more passionate. Their lips meld together and Ruby finds herself moaning as Regina's tongue explores every little crevice of her mouth. Hands begin to wander and suddenly, Regina's straddling the waitress as Ruby is flushed out against the couch on her back. And when Regina pulls back to breathe, Ruby whines before gasping quietly for more air.
"I think we got a little bit carried away," Regina chuckles throatily, as she brushes her hair back and starts to come off Ruby, in order to settle down on the couch.
"You know," Ruby pants as she struggles to sit up next to Regina, "I always meant to ask, when you cursed us…if the memories you gave us were personal?"
"What do you mean?" Regina questions reaching for her glass of wine as well as Ruby's.
"I mean if you purposely choose every person emotions or sexual attractions," Ruby explains as she gladly takes her glass.
"What are you really asking, dear?"
"If you knew that Ruby Lucas was madly crushing on Mayor Mills," Ruby states flatly.
Regina only quirks her eyebrow as she smiles over the rim of her glass.
"Guess you'll never know," Regina answers smirking. "Now, what do you feel like having for dinner?"