Disclaimer: I own nothing. This disclaimer stuff is kinda annoying ain't it?
Warning! Bit of a songfic this one is. I don't Care by Apocalyptica featuring Adam Gontier.
Thanks to Fiertonks and Vamp for being excellent betas!
Chapter 10 – A Song? A Battle and a train ride
In the end I whispered a prayer for his soul before stumbling to my feet as I limped towards the house to tend to my wounds when I heard my name being called...
"Harry, wait!"
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I try to make it through my life
In my way, there's you
I try to make it through these lies
And that's all I do
There I stood in the rain as I prepared myself to go to my Seventh and final year at Hogwarts. I glanced around casually before making my way into the platform. My grey eyes darted about as I watched people bustle about on their business. My highlighted black hair hung around my shoulders like a hood as I passed a muggle family, their young child swinging off the arms of her parents as they made their way to leave the train station. As I walked through the barrier that separated the muggle platform from the magical, I allowed myself a moment to stare at the red train that would take me to my final year at Hogwarts...
Just don't deny it,
Don't try to fight this, and deal with it
and that's just part of it,
-----------Flash Back-----------
"Harry, wait!"
If you were dead or still alive
I don't care, I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cause I swear (I swear), I don't care
My body froze as if hit by a full body bind at the sound of the voice, her voice. 'No,' I thought desperately, willing to the gods that she wouldn't be here, 'she couldn't be here. Why would she be? Why would she be here? Why would they let her be here? It's too dangerous!'
"Harry.... Please... I... I... I want to talk."
I closed my eyes tightly as I slowly I turned my body, I was fearful of who I would see... but I couldn't help myself, with one last deep breath I opened my eyes to look at the owner of the voice. Brown eyes filled my vision and once again I found the walls I constructed come crashing down again. Pain and sadness filled my eyes as she stared into them. I didn't bother hiding them. There wasn't a reason to. I turned myself away and forced one foot in front of the other. I didn't want to concentrate on anything else, but I couldn't. My heart felt heavy and a single tear rolled down my eye. While in the back I heard crying...
I try to make you see my side
Always trying to stay in line
But your eyes see right through
That's all they do
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I isolated myself after that day. Her eyes haunted me. The emotions on the surface terrified me to no ends. Foreign emotions that I had long thought cast off came back to the surface that day. Emotions that, no matter what I did, never went away. I holed myself in my room, locking the door and closing the blinds. Darkness surrounded me, darkness that I wish so desperately to steal my soul away so that I couldn't feel anymore. But it wouldn't. I nested myself beside my bed that day, unable to clear her eyes from my head. I hugged my knees close to myself, staying in that position until sleep took my mind away.
I'm getting buried in this place
I got no room you're in my face
don't say anything just go away
If you were dead or still alive
I don't care, I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cause I swear (I swear), I don't care
The next day after the fighting I had someone from the Order take me to the ministry so I could get my apparition license. Then to a private hearing of Dumbledore's will at Gringotts. Originally it was supposed to have been with others but with a simple request that I wanted my part to be private and a small exchange of gold; I was shuffled into a private room to learn the last Professor Dumbledore had to give;
"I, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, of sound mind and body, hereby bequeath my belongings. To Harry Potter, I give you the Sword of Gryffindor that resides in my former office. No doubt it will help you on your quest. I also leave you five hundred thousand galleons for seventeen years worth of birthday presents. Alas I had one final request, listen to the mutterings of an old fool one last time.
"I am sorry Harry. For everything I have put you through. I realized too late that putting you at the Dursley's was a mistake and for that, you have my greatest sorrow for taking from you a childhood. I'm sorry for putting the weight of the world on your shoulders and taking so long to tell you. My wish was to give you a normal childhood, but I failed to see that regardless of what I did, you would inadvertently force the prophecy. But alas the damage was already done. I was forced to watch from afar as your friends distanced themselves from you and the pain in my heart grew terrible at what I had caused.
"Now, as I write this, it is too late for me to right all wrongs. The curse is killing me Harry, and whether I die by the poison in my arm or by another's work, know that it is already too late for me. So in a sense, it was only time before I took the next great journey. I know that, after your fourth year, I should have taken you under my wing to teach you all I know, however I hope that, I was able to teach as much as I can. And, I will say it one last time Harry, I am sorry. For everything I have done and have caused."
A burst of fire exploded in front of me at the end of Dumbledore's Will. A thrill burst from Fawkes beak as he descended on my shoulder, a single look into his eyes conveyed that he would take me to my destination as I automatically grabbed hold of his tail. Phoenix fire surrounded me and I vanished from Gringotts.
And arrived at the home where my parents lost their lives.
I choked when I saw it, pain creeping over me at the first place I was home to over 15 years ago. I forced my eyes away as I turned my body to the side. My eyes fell upon a beaten path to the side and it drew me like a moth to a flame. I felt as if I was in a trance as I walked down the path while Fawkes swayed gently on my shoulder. Somewhere deep within me, I knew that I was in no trouble. In the distance a church bell sounded off the noon sun as the trees around my rustled gently in the wind as if telling me that the path I walked was correct. As I passed the line of trees, my feet immediately turned to the left towards a small gate beside the church. The area was calm, slightly eerily so as I passed through the gate and abruptly stopped at what lay before me...
James Charlus Potter
March 27, 1960 – October 31, 1981
Loving Father, Husband and Son.
Forever a Marauder at Heart.
Lily Amanda Potter
January 30, 1960 – October 31, 1981
Loving Mother, Wife and Daughter.
Forever a Charms Mistress.
I wept freely then, as I fell to my knees before my parents grave. Untold years of sadness washed through me as Fawkes fluttered from my shoulder and onto the ground beside me. My body was wracked with shudders as I kneeled before my parents grave while my tears fell to the hard ground below. Moments later, a flutter of wings marked the arrival of Hedwig as she landed on my unoccupied side. I felt her amber orbs gaze at me with sympathy, her mere presence slightly comforting as I knelt on the cold ground. Hours past and the sun slowly dipped past the top of the trees, sending their shadows flying across the ground as my two companions stayed faithfully at my side. I gingerly got to my feet as I felt my blood rush into my legs. With one final look at my parents grave, I turned away and started walking back to my new home.
I'm not changing everything
'Cause you won't be there for me
I'm not changing everything
Cause you won't be there for me
I studied as much as I could in the library in the old home. Somehow after years of neglect, the house was still sparkling new as if it refused to bow down to time itself. Whenever I wasn't studying, I was either exercising, practicing or developing new spells. It became my mantra as September grew closer and closer. When I had to go out, I did so under my new guise, whether it was to buy food, get new robes, buy school books or even just walk in a park if the day was nice and when thoughts didn't cloud my mind. It was... relaxing... but at the same time... hollow... as if I was missing something... I didn't want to think about it too much, it only guaranteed to lead me down a sad path.
-----------Flash Back-----------
If you were or dead or still alive
I don't care, I don't care
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cause I swear (I swear) I don't care
A howl in the distance echoed off the tree tops as the full moon shone brightly against the starless night. The air around Godric's Hollow bristled as if it was offended as if protecting itself against a potential predator. Warning bells sounded off in my head as I woke abruptly. Alert and frantic for an unknown reason, all I knew was that something big was happening. And it was happening in a bad way. I instantly grabbed my wand at my bedside, at the same time unconsciously turning my bed wear into loose fitting robes.
"Fawkes!" I cried out. A flash of fire later and I disappeared from Godric's Hollow....
And arrived in the middle of a battlefield.
The smell of blood hung heavily in the air as I arrived at my destination. Candles floated serenely in the air despite illuminating the ravaged ground around me. In the small distance I spied a lopsided building that defied all laws of physics. 'The Burrow!' I thought, 'They're attacking Bill and Fleur's wedding!'
Cries and shouts echoed off various individuals as the sudden flash of flame ended, instantly I felt the numerous curses being hurled my way. Like during the fighting at Privet Drive, I felt the world slow down to a trickle as another dozen black cloaked figures fired another round of curses at me. Four Blasting curses, more than a half dozen Cutting Hexes, two Entail Expelling curses, a single Cruciatus curse and a various other curses that whispered of a painful death flew my way.
Like a long practiced motion, I waved my wand while I thought, 'Speculum Protego.' The instant the light of the curses met the silver of my shield; they immediately reversed direction like a blood hound seeking its master. I was forced to break my shield however when the Cruciatus curse slipped past my shield as if it were air. I subtly moved to the side as the yellow light barely passed an inch away from me. Shrieks echoed off the distant trees as more than half the Death Eaters were struck by their own spells, many of whom, never to rise again.
A piercing cry struck the heavens causing me to drop to the ground while reflectively firing spells back at my opponents when I saw Hermione. I saw the long red-haired figure beside Hermione being blasted off her feet and sent spiraling away beyond the light of the candles while her opponent blasted past Hermione's shield with the blue light of a Reducto. I saw her wand fly from her fingers as she flew back and landed in a crumpled heap as her attacker advanced on her. She struggled to get up but only managed to prop herself on her elbows as her fear filled eyes stared at the Death Eater. I heard the dark clad figure chillingly whisper as he raised his wand. "Time for you to learn your place Mudblood!"
"HERMIONE!" I heard myself shout.
"Avada Keda~"
"FLAMMA CARCER!"
In a flash, I found myself in front of Hermione as if I apparated; I didn't even remember moving. My wand was already pointing at the shrivelling figure of the flame consumed Death Eater, their frantic eyes wide with fear and pain before being eaten by the fire. It was then that time decided to right itself when I turned to look at Hermione. Her brown eyes stared at me with an unknown emotion as I knelt beside her.
"Are you alright?" I asked frantically while my eyes stayed locked on hers. She merely nodded, never breaking eye contact with me. Then chilling laughter floated in the air, causing all others to stop all noise and movements as he appeared.
"Harry, Harry, Harry... it has been a while. Oh yes, it has..."
If you were dead or still alive
I don't care (I don't care), I don't care (I don't care)
Just go and leave this all behind
I don't care (I swear)
I don't care
At all...
----------------------
Laughter greeted my ears as I stood near the entrance to the magical station. Glancing about I noticed many of my year mates were about talking and laughing. My countenance never breaking under as I cooled my emotions, I walked casually onto the train and settled myself at a compartment at the back.
I stared disinterestedly at the people walking around on the platform. A year before I would have done anything to be part of what they were but no more. The me of the past was but a shadow now. Forced to grow up quickly to survive.
Yawning, I glanced up at a brown Hedwig to see her eyes glaring at me reproachfully. I silently snuck a hand into my pocket to pull out an owl treat. I gave her a rub on her head as she hooted of gratitude when she swiftly nicked the treat from my hand as I turned to grab my trunk to change into the school uniform. The colouring charm I used on Hedwig left her in a very... nippy mood, I had talked to her long about this, considering I was trying to stay under the radar and her pure white feathers would have worked against it. Only after three days of grovelling and a lot of bribes via owl treats did she finally relent, not before giving me a reproachful nip to my ear.
When I finished donning my school robes, I pulled out one of my texts on Arithmancy and settled myself down for a long read when the compartment door opened. A familiar redhead looked at me a little sheepishly before asking, "Uh... Hi, all the other compartments are full, can we sit here?"
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak as something within me buzzed in warning.
The redhead nodded in gratitude before moving in and putting his trunk's in the compartment when she walked in. She stopped in the doorway staring at me; a look of confusion crossed her face as she scrutinized my features before snapping herself out of her daze with a shake to her head. Walking in she turned away to put away her trunk before turning back to me.
"Hi, I'm Hermione Granger. I've never seen you before, what's your name?"
Ignoring the thump in my heart, I swallowed the lump in my throat before flashing a small smile. "Hi, I'm James. James Orion Lians. Nice to meet you Miss Granger." I saw Hermione's eyes cloud over in uncertainty for a second as the mention of my faux name before replacing it with a smile. Luckily, I had earlier anticipated that I would be in need to change my voice and I was only beginning to be glad for my foresight.
"I'm Ron Weasley." The redhead said. I merely nodded before returning to read the book in my lap as the train started moving.
At this point Hermione let off a small yelp and stood up with a bit of a concerned look. "I'm going to the loo for a sec."
As she rushed out the door I focused my attention back on the task at hand. Moments passed until Ron said. "You seem too old to be a first year, what house are you in?"
Letting off a small sigh at the interruption, I responded, "I would rather wait till your friend gets back, I don't like repeating myself."
"Oh... up for a game of chess then?"
"No, not really."
"Why not?"
"I don't feel like it."
"Hermione's my girlfriend."
Rolling my eyes to be a bit dramatic, I replied, "So?"
"So don't think you got a chance with her, with me around."
"Wouldn't dream of it." I replied without a hint of care while keeping my composure neutral while I felt my heart hurt a little. I refocused my attention on my text when the compartment door opened and Hermione came back in with a worried look on her face while whispering. "... he's not here, but why isn't he here? He couldn't have gone off on his own could he?"
Raising an eyebrow, I asked, "Who are you talking about?"
With a startled glance, Hermione sat down on the seat beside Ron before responding, "Oh! Um... no one really, just an old friend..."
"I... see..." I said with a raised eyebrow before returning to my book as the train sped its way towards Hogwarts...
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A/N - Ya know, I actually had Dumbledore's will to be long winded, thank god I made it smaller.
A/N - Stay tuned for next time on... Alone and Resolve! God that sounded cheesey.
A/N - Cliffys suck, but they make you come back for more :)