Title: New
Series: Moving On part 10
Author: DarkChilde princess220@alltel.net or
darkchilde78@ididitmyway.com
Rating: R
Spoiler Warning: Through the Gift and There's No Place Like Plrtz
Glrb. Don't read this if you don't want to know how the season ended.
Summary: Spike and Xander talk about where their relationship is
headed and announce it to the SG. Series will involve slash pairings.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to
Joss, ME, and other individuals and corporate entities. No profit is
made. No copyright infringement intended.
Distribution: The Dreams & Musings website. UCSL. Any other list
archives can have it. If anyone else wants it just ask.
Feedback: Yes please. I love to hear that somebody enjoyed my
stories, and constructive criticism will only make me improve. Thanks
to everyone who has given me such lovely feedback so far.
"Bloody, Fucking Hell." Spike yelled in frustration as the phone rang.
"Just ignore it Spike, the answering machine will get it." Xander
replied in between the kisses he was laying against Spike's skin.
"I can't. It's Willow, I'm sure, and I let a message on her machine
this morning. I was kind of upset." Spike shuddered at the sensations
Xander is causing, but tried to remain focused on the task at
hand. "I've got to answer this luv, but if you don't stop doing that,
I'm never going to make it to the phone, and then she'll come over
here."
Xander pulled back a little and allowed Spike to get up and go to the
phone. He answered, just as the machine picked up. "Willow is that
you?"
"Spike what's wrong? You sounded frantic on the phone." Willow was
very very worried.
"Nothing's wrong Red. I'm sorry I worried you." Spike tried to get
her off of the phone, so he could continue things with Xander.
"Let me talk to her Spike." Xander is suddenly by his side. Spike
pulled Xander tight against his body and hands the phone over,
nodding.
"Willow, I promise you, everything here is alright. We both need to
talk to you, but not right now okay. Nothing bad has happened
though." Xander tried to make his tone reassuring.
"Xander, would you please just tell me what's going on. Spike called
this morning, frantic. Now nobody wants to talk to me."
"I promise, we will. It's nothing bad Willow. It's very good, but
later okay? Please Willow." Xander wanted a little time alone with
Spike, before they had to start dealing with the outside world.
"Okay, but I want to know just exactly what happened today when you
come to the rehearsal. Do you understand me?" Willow demands.
"Yes. We'll let you know then. Goodbye Willow." Xander hung up the
phone without waiting for an answer.
Xander turned back to Spike, who was still holding him tightly. "I
love you, Spike." he whispered, before kissing him again.
Spike felt tears in his eyes, but could not offer any verbalization
of his own feelings. Instead he simply responded to the kiss,
deepening it. He slowly moved them towards the bedroom. He would show
Xander just how much his love meant. Spike would worship his body.
Spike drug his lips away from Xander's mouth and along his jawline,
teasing the flesh there. He continued on down the column of Xander's
neck, dragging his teeth across the hollow of his throat. He could
feel Xander's reactions. Xander remained utterly silent, but every
touch sent a shudder of sensation through him. They were in the
bedroom now, and Spike gently lowered Xander onto the bed, his mouth
never leaving Xander's body. He was determined to learn the feel and
taste of every inch of Xander's skin. He lingers at Xander's
collarbone, nipping at the sharp bone there. Spike continues his slow
journey down Xander's body, licking, kissing, and nipping along the
way.
Xander new that there was no turning back now. He had admitted that
he loved Spike, to himself as much as to the vampire. His heart had
allowed this to happen probably months before, it just took a while
for his head to catch up. Spike was right, loving him, did not make
Xander love Anya less. He could still feel that love for her, it was
there inside of him as strong and loyal as ever, but she was gone
now, and he had been given another chance. A chance to be happy, a
chance to love and be loved. He wouldn't give that up, not for
anything. He didn't know what words to say, how to convey everything
he'd realized to Spike, so the only words he spoke were I love you.
It seemed that those simple words had been enough, because Spike
responded. He had proceeded to torture Xander with his mouth,
dragging it along already oversensitized flesh. He was completely
lost in the sensations. He barely even realized when Spike led him
from the living room to his small bedroom. He wanted this, he wanted
to touch and taste to learn the feel of Spike, just as Spike was
learning his own body. He wanted that, at the same time it scared
him. He had realized long ago, that he was attracted to men. He'd
spent years denying it, both to himself and to the world. Ironically,
it had been Anya who had helped him accept that part of himself. She
was so very comfortable with herself and by extension with those
around her. She was also hyper aware of what was going on. She had
noticed his attraction, and had talked to him about it. She had
forced him to face it for the first time. And she had made him
realize that there was nothing wrong with it. This was yet another
reason to love her. So yes he had come to terms with his attraction
to men, but he was still a little frightened at what that meant.
Until this morning he had never even kissed a guy. It wasn't that it
didn't feel good, it did. He was very much enjoying what Spike was
doing to him, it just felt way to soon. He needed some time to
adjust. He'd only just figured out he loved Spike after all. So it
took a great deal of effort to say his next words. "Spike, wait.
Please." The words came out strong, despite the effort it took to say
them, and to his credit Spike did stop.
Spike wasn't sure what exactly was going on. Xander had asked him to
wait. He didn't know why, but for right now, it was all he could do
to pull back from Xander's body. He wanted to continue along that
trail down Xander's body. He wanted to more than anything, but Xander
had asked for him to stop, and he would. Spike bit by bit moved away
from Xander until he was sitting on the far side of the bed. He took
a moment to compose himself before he spoke, "What's wrong Xander?"
Xander looked over at him, and smiled the rather sheepish, self-
deprecating grin that had been his trademark before so much death had
touched his world. "I'm sorry. I just need some time, OK?"
"Time for what?" Spike wasn't sure what Xander was asking for. Time
to grieve, time to accept Spike's feelings, time to accept his own.
He wanted to understand.
"I don't know, time to process this I guess. I mean, last night I
went to bed, knowing that the only person I would ever love was dead.
Today, I've discovered that not only is that not true, but that the
next person I love is male and a vampire. Don't you think I deserve a
little time here. I need to get used to this, to us. I guess I just
need things to move a little bit slower than this." Xander's voice
was pleading with Spike to understand.
Spike had spent his entire existence as a vampire reaching out and
taking what he wanted. He hadn't waited, never taken time to get used
to a situation. He wasn't quite sure what that would mean, but he
knew that this time he had to do it. He had to give Xander all the
time he needed. He loved the boy, and more than that he respected
him. If Xander wasn't ready to move things forward then they
wouldn't. "Okay. I've never really done the slow thing Xander. I'm
not sure what that means."
"I guess, we'll have to work that out as we go along. Let's just say,
I've hit my comfort level for today. I don't know how soon, I'll be
ready to take things further." Xander wanted to make things very
clear to Spike. He hoped it was.
"Come here, luv." Xander looked warily at Spike, "I promise I won't
do anything you're not ready for, I just need to touch you. Please."
Spike pleaded.
Xander smiled again, when he realized how hard Spike was trying to
reassure him. He slipped across the bed, allowing Spike to wrap his
arms around him and just hold him. This at least was a familiar
sensation, strong arms seeming to comfort and protect him at the same
time. He settled back against Spike's chest, whispering once more, "I
love you."
Spike offered up his own smile then, dropping a light kiss to
Xander's temple. "I love you too."
The two of them sat like that for a long while. Eventually Xander
spoke again. "Spike, this is nice, but I need to eat, and get ready
for tonight. I promised Willow we would be there early."
Spike pulled away allowing Xander to get up. "We've got a few hours
yet, luv. You get ready, I'll fix you something to eat. After that
we'll talk." Spike's voice was serious again. He knew that they
needed to discuss just what to say to Willow and the others. He knew
that he had become a part of this small group. He wouldn't have the
same problems now as he had when he told Buffy he loved her. No, they
had accepted him, and so would accept this, but what do you say to
them. How do you announce this relationship. How surprised would they
be. This was not something he had any experience at all with. As a
human he had only loved once, and that love was not returned. His
relationship with Dru was intense but expected. It did not have to be
announced or explained. He was Dru's childe, of course he loved her.
There was no relationship to explain with Buffy. He was nervous and a
little unsure, more so when he realized that it wasn't just his
friends, the people he had come to consider family who would be
finding out, but his sire and his people as well. Things had been
tense enough when he was simply an accepted member of the group.
Xander nodded taking in his serious tone, and walked off into the
bathroom. It was late afternoon and he hadn't showered or eaten yet.
Maybe his mind would be a little clearer after food, and he would be
ready for whatever conversation Spike had in mind now.
Spike got up and went to the kitchen. He had learned to cook really
quite well, in the last six months or so. Before Xander had opened up
again, started to live, he almost never ate. Spike had learned to
cook so that Xander couldn't use that as an excuse. He fixed meals
for Xander that for a long time had gone largely untouched. Now he
still cooked for him. It was something that he was good at, just a
small thing that he could do for Xander. The routine of it also
helped to settle his nerves. By the time Xander emerged form the
bedroom he had a light meal prepared. He fixed himself a mug of blood
and the two of them sat eating in silence. When they were finished
they quickly cleaned up and went back to the living room.
Xander did feel better. Food and a shower had made him better
focused. He patiently waited for Spike to tell him what they needed
to talk about.
"What are we going to tell them Xander?" Spike's voice was serious,
he still didn't know what to say to these people, how to make them
understand.
Xander almost laughed at the look on Spike's face and the tone of his
voice. He would have, if he didn't know how very serious Spike was.
So keeping that in mind, Xander kept his own voice serious when he
answered. "We're going to tell them we're in love."
"But what will they say. How do we explain. What if Angel or one of
the others objects?" It was very seldom that Spike seemed insecure,
but at this moment he did. He was scared about what the others would
say, how they would react.
Xander sighed and moved to hold Spike. This wasn't a position they
were often in and it was a little awkward at first. It was usually
Xander wrapped in Spikes arms being reassured that everything was
going to be okay. For the first time in their relationship Xander had
to play comforter to Spike. He pulled Spike close to his chest,
knowing that touch was as reassuring for the vampire as it was for
him, and just held him for a moment. When he spoke it was in low
soothing tones. "I don't know what they'll say Spike, and frankly I
don't really care. Dawn, Willow and Tara will be okay with it I'm
sure. Half the time I think Dawn forgets what you are. Giles will
have to adjust, but he accepts you as one of us now. I know he'll
come around to this. It's been so long since I've really talked to
Cordelia that I have no idea how she'll react. I never knew the rest
of them well enough to tell. But what I do know is that whether they
accept this or not, it's true. It's reality. I love you, and you love
me. Nothing they can say or do will change that, and none of us would
let them hurt you. Now come on go get cleaned up. Willow will be
waiting on us."
Spike calmed at Xander's words. He knew what Xander said was true. It
didn't matter what they thought, and most of them would probably be
happy about this anyway. He turned and lightly kissed Xander before
whispering to him simply, "Thank You." Then he pulled away and went
to get ready for Willow and Tara's rehearsal and dinner.
Twenty minutes later they were on their way to the park that Willow
and Tara had decided to hold their wedding at. The discussion of
place and time had taken quite a little bit of doing. They new that
they wanted after dark and outdoors. The problem was finding
someplace that was sufficiently secure that they wouldn't have to
worry too much about the monsters crashing the wedding. They finally
settled on holding the wedding just after dusk, when it would be less
likely that vampires or other nighttime nasties would be out in
force. They also found a very nice clearing in a large park at the
edge of town. Willow and Tara would ward the clearing before the
wedding started, using a circle of protection that would keep those
things not quite human on whatever side of the barrier they were on.
Spike and Angel would be unable to leave until the circle had been
broken, but nothing would be able to get in either. It was a good
plan. Tonight however, they were relying on the others to watch for
trouble tonight. Xander and Spike arrived about half an hour before
the rehearsal was supposed to begin. Willow was waiting for them.
"Okay guys tell me what's going on right this instant. I really don't
like being scared, and you scared me with your message this morning
Spike." Willow begins speaking before they can even reach her. There
is a harsh edge to her voice, worry mixed with fear. Xander had tried
to reassure her earlier on the phone, but it quite undo the terror
that had shot through her at Spike's message.
Xander hugged her quickly before he answered her. "Hey, I promised it
was good news didn't I? Nothing bad happened, well maybe a little
panic from both of us at first, but nothing really bad. I'm not quite
sure how to say this. I guess direct is best. Spike and I love each
other." Xander knows that towards the end of this he was babbling. He
just hoped that Willow caught everything. Oh well, if she hadn't
understood it from his words, she ought to at least be able to grasp
the fact that Spike had not let go of his hand since he had started
talking.
Willow didn't answer for a moment. She looked back and forth between
Spike and Xander, taking in one detail at a time. Noticing first
their tightly clasped hands. Then she looked at their faces. They
both wore expressions she hadn't seen in far too long, In Spike's
case, she didn't think she had ever seen it. They were both happy,
completely and totally happy. She knew then that this was good and
right. Tara and Dawn had been right, she should have seen it. She
broke into a smile and hugged each of them. "I'm happy for you. A
little surprised, but I shouldn't be. Dawn and Tara knew months ago,
before you did, I'd guess. Could you please tell me what that call
was all about this morning, Spike?"
Spike was visibly relieved when Willow reacted positively. "I'm sorry
about that pet. I kissed him, then I told him to go to sleep. He did,
and I couldn't so I was left to wonder and worry about what it meant.
We figured it out though. Didn't we love?"
Xander stepped closer to Spike, wrapping an arm around his
waist. "Yeah, I guess we did. What was that about Dawn and Tara?"
Willow giggled, "Dawn has been saying you two are in love for months
now. I asked Tara what she thought after our first dinner, and she
said she thought maybe so. She said it would be a good thing. I
wasn't sure then, but now I am. She was right. This is a good
thing."
"Yeah it is." Xander responded.
They still had some time, so Willow pried until she got the entire
story of the morning out of Spike and Xander. They decided that it
would be best if they waited and told everyone else together. It
would be easier anyway. The rehearsal went as planned, no demonic
attacks interfered, and if anyone noticed that Spike and Xander
touched a little more than usual they didn't say anything. Xander,
Dawn and Giles were quite busy with Willow and Tara perfecting just
where to stand at various points in the ceremony and practicing their
own few words. Spike watched intently, his eyes never leaving Xander.
Wesley and Gunn were restless, it was still after dark in Sunnydale
after all. It didn't help that they seemed to be the only ones
concerned with making sure there were no demons at the site. Cordelia
watched everyone and everything with rapt attention, only taking time
out to yell at Angel for hovering again. And Angel, well, he hovered.
He was never quite satisfied that Cordelia was comfortable.
When everything was finished, the whole group headed back to the
magic shop where they were going to eat dinner. They had opted out of
doing the traditional formal dinner after rehearsal. They were
content just to all be together. They had finally decided they would
just get together for pizza afterwards. As soon as they were all in
the shop and little details like ordering the pizza and getting
drinks were taken care of Willow spoke. "Now that everyone's here,
there are a couple of things that I want to say. First I want to
thank all of you for being here. I hope you all know that I love you.
You guys are my family. My parents aren't coming to the wedding. They
don't mind so much that Tara's a girl, but they just can't get past
the fact that she isn't Jewish. That's okay though, because it's been
a long time since they were really family." Willow cried just a
little, but there was still a smile firmly on her face. "There is one
more thing, but it's really not for me to tell. We have more than
just the wedding to celebrate today." She looked over at Xander. It
was his turn now.
Xander stood up rather tentatively. He hadn't been nervous when he
talked with Spike about this, but he was nervous now. He reached out
for Spike's hand, and found it. "Well, Spike and I talked this
morning. We talked for a long time actually. We realized something.
Somewhere along the line, with everything that's happened we fell in
love." Xander stopped there, he didn't know what else to say, so he
decided to say nothing.
Spike stood up and wrapped his arms around Xander. He looked around
the room trying to gauge the reaction. "That's right. We love each
other." Spike kisses Xander gently after affirming what Xander has
already said.
When the two of them break from the kiss, they look to their friends.
Willow and Tara are wearing matching gentle smiles, happy for their
dear friends. Giles looks a bit confused, but not in the least upset.
Angel is smiling. Even Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn don't look upset.
Dawn is practically ready to burst from excitement.
"I told you. I was right. They are in love." Dawn was saying to the
room at large.
Giles walked over to where Spike and Xander were standing. In a rare
show of physical affection, he hugged Xander. "This is something to
celebrate." He then turned to look at Spike, "Take care of him for
us, Spike."
"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting this. I'd just barely managed to
deal with the fact that Spike seemed part of the group. Now he's my
ex-boyfriends boyfriend. Excuse me, if I can't get to happy about
this just yet. I'm not saying I won't be, but give a girl some time
to adjust." Cordelia was the only one to voice what she knew Wesley
and even Gunn must also be feeling.
Spike nodded, before answering her. "I know that you don't trust me.
You probably shouldn't I've never given you any reason to. I promise
you, that this is real though. I love Xander, and I believe he loves
me. It's not going away, so please just try to accept it."
Angel answered for her, "Spike, I think all of us who new you before,
can see that you are different. That doesn't make this easy though.
Give it time. Also I don't think you really need to hear this, but
you do know that if you ever hurt him, I will hurt you, don't you?"
Angel's voice is even and measured. He's not at all surprised at this
news, and really rather happy about it.
Spike laughed at that last from Angel, "Yeah, I know. I won't ever
hurt him, but if I did, I don't think you'd ever get the chance to
hurt me. The girls and Giles here would beat you to it, that I'm sure
of."
Angel smiled, "You're probably right."
Before anyone else could give their opinion of this new development,
the pizza arrived. They ate, talked, and laughed through the rest of
the evening. This time everyone did notice that Spike rarely left
Xander's side, for that matter he was rarely not touching Xander.
They also noticed that the two seemed incredibly happy, something
that a few months earlier no one would have believed possible. This
happiness as much as anything eased at least Cordelia's fears
somewhat. Still, over the course of the evening nearly everyone
managed to talk to Spike and Xander. They wouldn't say much tonight,
but they all wanted to talk later. It was certainly a good thing that
Xander had the whole week off. His days were packed.
After everything had been cleaned up and most people had gone home,
only Willow, Tara, Dawn, and Giles were left in the Magic Box.
"I suppose I should have seen this coming. Somehow, I just never
expected it." Giles, was not really upset. He just didn't know why he
didn't realize that something was happening sooner.
"I think Dawn is the only one who can claim to have really seen it
coming. Then Tara kind of agreed with her. I didn't see it either
Giles, not even after they told me there was something to look for.
They make each other happy though. I was really scared that Xander
wouldn't ever be really happy again. He was so lost after Anya died.
I'm glad Spike can make him happy." Willow reassured Giles.
"She's right. Without Dawn saying something, I would have overlooked
things." Tara added
"Great, they are happy. Now, that everyone sees that I was right all
along, how long do you think it will be before Angel and Cordelia
admit they like each other?"
Series: Moving On part 10
Author: DarkChilde princess220@alltel.net or
darkchilde78@ididitmyway.com
Rating: R
Spoiler Warning: Through the Gift and There's No Place Like Plrtz
Glrb. Don't read this if you don't want to know how the season ended.
Summary: Spike and Xander talk about where their relationship is
headed and announce it to the SG. Series will involve slash pairings.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else belongs to
Joss, ME, and other individuals and corporate entities. No profit is
made. No copyright infringement intended.
Distribution: The Dreams & Musings website. UCSL. Any other list
archives can have it. If anyone else wants it just ask.
Feedback: Yes please. I love to hear that somebody enjoyed my
stories, and constructive criticism will only make me improve. Thanks
to everyone who has given me such lovely feedback so far.
"Bloody, Fucking Hell." Spike yelled in frustration as the phone rang.
"Just ignore it Spike, the answering machine will get it." Xander
replied in between the kisses he was laying against Spike's skin.
"I can't. It's Willow, I'm sure, and I let a message on her machine
this morning. I was kind of upset." Spike shuddered at the sensations
Xander is causing, but tried to remain focused on the task at
hand. "I've got to answer this luv, but if you don't stop doing that,
I'm never going to make it to the phone, and then she'll come over
here."
Xander pulled back a little and allowed Spike to get up and go to the
phone. He answered, just as the machine picked up. "Willow is that
you?"
"Spike what's wrong? You sounded frantic on the phone." Willow was
very very worried.
"Nothing's wrong Red. I'm sorry I worried you." Spike tried to get
her off of the phone, so he could continue things with Xander.
"Let me talk to her Spike." Xander is suddenly by his side. Spike
pulled Xander tight against his body and hands the phone over,
nodding.
"Willow, I promise you, everything here is alright. We both need to
talk to you, but not right now okay. Nothing bad has happened
though." Xander tried to make his tone reassuring.
"Xander, would you please just tell me what's going on. Spike called
this morning, frantic. Now nobody wants to talk to me."
"I promise, we will. It's nothing bad Willow. It's very good, but
later okay? Please Willow." Xander wanted a little time alone with
Spike, before they had to start dealing with the outside world.
"Okay, but I want to know just exactly what happened today when you
come to the rehearsal. Do you understand me?" Willow demands.
"Yes. We'll let you know then. Goodbye Willow." Xander hung up the
phone without waiting for an answer.
Xander turned back to Spike, who was still holding him tightly. "I
love you, Spike." he whispered, before kissing him again.
Spike felt tears in his eyes, but could not offer any verbalization
of his own feelings. Instead he simply responded to the kiss,
deepening it. He slowly moved them towards the bedroom. He would show
Xander just how much his love meant. Spike would worship his body.
Spike drug his lips away from Xander's mouth and along his jawline,
teasing the flesh there. He continued on down the column of Xander's
neck, dragging his teeth across the hollow of his throat. He could
feel Xander's reactions. Xander remained utterly silent, but every
touch sent a shudder of sensation through him. They were in the
bedroom now, and Spike gently lowered Xander onto the bed, his mouth
never leaving Xander's body. He was determined to learn the feel and
taste of every inch of Xander's skin. He lingers at Xander's
collarbone, nipping at the sharp bone there. Spike continues his slow
journey down Xander's body, licking, kissing, and nipping along the
way.
Xander new that there was no turning back now. He had admitted that
he loved Spike, to himself as much as to the vampire. His heart had
allowed this to happen probably months before, it just took a while
for his head to catch up. Spike was right, loving him, did not make
Xander love Anya less. He could still feel that love for her, it was
there inside of him as strong and loyal as ever, but she was gone
now, and he had been given another chance. A chance to be happy, a
chance to love and be loved. He wouldn't give that up, not for
anything. He didn't know what words to say, how to convey everything
he'd realized to Spike, so the only words he spoke were I love you.
It seemed that those simple words had been enough, because Spike
responded. He had proceeded to torture Xander with his mouth,
dragging it along already oversensitized flesh. He was completely
lost in the sensations. He barely even realized when Spike led him
from the living room to his small bedroom. He wanted this, he wanted
to touch and taste to learn the feel of Spike, just as Spike was
learning his own body. He wanted that, at the same time it scared
him. He had realized long ago, that he was attracted to men. He'd
spent years denying it, both to himself and to the world. Ironically,
it had been Anya who had helped him accept that part of himself. She
was so very comfortable with herself and by extension with those
around her. She was also hyper aware of what was going on. She had
noticed his attraction, and had talked to him about it. She had
forced him to face it for the first time. And she had made him
realize that there was nothing wrong with it. This was yet another
reason to love her. So yes he had come to terms with his attraction
to men, but he was still a little frightened at what that meant.
Until this morning he had never even kissed a guy. It wasn't that it
didn't feel good, it did. He was very much enjoying what Spike was
doing to him, it just felt way to soon. He needed some time to
adjust. He'd only just figured out he loved Spike after all. So it
took a great deal of effort to say his next words. "Spike, wait.
Please." The words came out strong, despite the effort it took to say
them, and to his credit Spike did stop.
Spike wasn't sure what exactly was going on. Xander had asked him to
wait. He didn't know why, but for right now, it was all he could do
to pull back from Xander's body. He wanted to continue along that
trail down Xander's body. He wanted to more than anything, but Xander
had asked for him to stop, and he would. Spike bit by bit moved away
from Xander until he was sitting on the far side of the bed. He took
a moment to compose himself before he spoke, "What's wrong Xander?"
Xander looked over at him, and smiled the rather sheepish, self-
deprecating grin that had been his trademark before so much death had
touched his world. "I'm sorry. I just need some time, OK?"
"Time for what?" Spike wasn't sure what Xander was asking for. Time
to grieve, time to accept Spike's feelings, time to accept his own.
He wanted to understand.
"I don't know, time to process this I guess. I mean, last night I
went to bed, knowing that the only person I would ever love was dead.
Today, I've discovered that not only is that not true, but that the
next person I love is male and a vampire. Don't you think I deserve a
little time here. I need to get used to this, to us. I guess I just
need things to move a little bit slower than this." Xander's voice
was pleading with Spike to understand.
Spike had spent his entire existence as a vampire reaching out and
taking what he wanted. He hadn't waited, never taken time to get used
to a situation. He wasn't quite sure what that would mean, but he
knew that this time he had to do it. He had to give Xander all the
time he needed. He loved the boy, and more than that he respected
him. If Xander wasn't ready to move things forward then they
wouldn't. "Okay. I've never really done the slow thing Xander. I'm
not sure what that means."
"I guess, we'll have to work that out as we go along. Let's just say,
I've hit my comfort level for today. I don't know how soon, I'll be
ready to take things further." Xander wanted to make things very
clear to Spike. He hoped it was.
"Come here, luv." Xander looked warily at Spike, "I promise I won't
do anything you're not ready for, I just need to touch you. Please."
Spike pleaded.
Xander smiled again, when he realized how hard Spike was trying to
reassure him. He slipped across the bed, allowing Spike to wrap his
arms around him and just hold him. This at least was a familiar
sensation, strong arms seeming to comfort and protect him at the same
time. He settled back against Spike's chest, whispering once more, "I
love you."
Spike offered up his own smile then, dropping a light kiss to
Xander's temple. "I love you too."
The two of them sat like that for a long while. Eventually Xander
spoke again. "Spike, this is nice, but I need to eat, and get ready
for tonight. I promised Willow we would be there early."
Spike pulled away allowing Xander to get up. "We've got a few hours
yet, luv. You get ready, I'll fix you something to eat. After that
we'll talk." Spike's voice was serious again. He knew that they
needed to discuss just what to say to Willow and the others. He knew
that he had become a part of this small group. He wouldn't have the
same problems now as he had when he told Buffy he loved her. No, they
had accepted him, and so would accept this, but what do you say to
them. How do you announce this relationship. How surprised would they
be. This was not something he had any experience at all with. As a
human he had only loved once, and that love was not returned. His
relationship with Dru was intense but expected. It did not have to be
announced or explained. He was Dru's childe, of course he loved her.
There was no relationship to explain with Buffy. He was nervous and a
little unsure, more so when he realized that it wasn't just his
friends, the people he had come to consider family who would be
finding out, but his sire and his people as well. Things had been
tense enough when he was simply an accepted member of the group.
Xander nodded taking in his serious tone, and walked off into the
bathroom. It was late afternoon and he hadn't showered or eaten yet.
Maybe his mind would be a little clearer after food, and he would be
ready for whatever conversation Spike had in mind now.
Spike got up and went to the kitchen. He had learned to cook really
quite well, in the last six months or so. Before Xander had opened up
again, started to live, he almost never ate. Spike had learned to
cook so that Xander couldn't use that as an excuse. He fixed meals
for Xander that for a long time had gone largely untouched. Now he
still cooked for him. It was something that he was good at, just a
small thing that he could do for Xander. The routine of it also
helped to settle his nerves. By the time Xander emerged form the
bedroom he had a light meal prepared. He fixed himself a mug of blood
and the two of them sat eating in silence. When they were finished
they quickly cleaned up and went back to the living room.
Xander did feel better. Food and a shower had made him better
focused. He patiently waited for Spike to tell him what they needed
to talk about.
"What are we going to tell them Xander?" Spike's voice was serious,
he still didn't know what to say to these people, how to make them
understand.
Xander almost laughed at the look on Spike's face and the tone of his
voice. He would have, if he didn't know how very serious Spike was.
So keeping that in mind, Xander kept his own voice serious when he
answered. "We're going to tell them we're in love."
"But what will they say. How do we explain. What if Angel or one of
the others objects?" It was very seldom that Spike seemed insecure,
but at this moment he did. He was scared about what the others would
say, how they would react.
Xander sighed and moved to hold Spike. This wasn't a position they
were often in and it was a little awkward at first. It was usually
Xander wrapped in Spikes arms being reassured that everything was
going to be okay. For the first time in their relationship Xander had
to play comforter to Spike. He pulled Spike close to his chest,
knowing that touch was as reassuring for the vampire as it was for
him, and just held him for a moment. When he spoke it was in low
soothing tones. "I don't know what they'll say Spike, and frankly I
don't really care. Dawn, Willow and Tara will be okay with it I'm
sure. Half the time I think Dawn forgets what you are. Giles will
have to adjust, but he accepts you as one of us now. I know he'll
come around to this. It's been so long since I've really talked to
Cordelia that I have no idea how she'll react. I never knew the rest
of them well enough to tell. But what I do know is that whether they
accept this or not, it's true. It's reality. I love you, and you love
me. Nothing they can say or do will change that, and none of us would
let them hurt you. Now come on go get cleaned up. Willow will be
waiting on us."
Spike calmed at Xander's words. He knew what Xander said was true. It
didn't matter what they thought, and most of them would probably be
happy about this anyway. He turned and lightly kissed Xander before
whispering to him simply, "Thank You." Then he pulled away and went
to get ready for Willow and Tara's rehearsal and dinner.
Twenty minutes later they were on their way to the park that Willow
and Tara had decided to hold their wedding at. The discussion of
place and time had taken quite a little bit of doing. They new that
they wanted after dark and outdoors. The problem was finding
someplace that was sufficiently secure that they wouldn't have to
worry too much about the monsters crashing the wedding. They finally
settled on holding the wedding just after dusk, when it would be less
likely that vampires or other nighttime nasties would be out in
force. They also found a very nice clearing in a large park at the
edge of town. Willow and Tara would ward the clearing before the
wedding started, using a circle of protection that would keep those
things not quite human on whatever side of the barrier they were on.
Spike and Angel would be unable to leave until the circle had been
broken, but nothing would be able to get in either. It was a good
plan. Tonight however, they were relying on the others to watch for
trouble tonight. Xander and Spike arrived about half an hour before
the rehearsal was supposed to begin. Willow was waiting for them.
"Okay guys tell me what's going on right this instant. I really don't
like being scared, and you scared me with your message this morning
Spike." Willow begins speaking before they can even reach her. There
is a harsh edge to her voice, worry mixed with fear. Xander had tried
to reassure her earlier on the phone, but it quite undo the terror
that had shot through her at Spike's message.
Xander hugged her quickly before he answered her. "Hey, I promised it
was good news didn't I? Nothing bad happened, well maybe a little
panic from both of us at first, but nothing really bad. I'm not quite
sure how to say this. I guess direct is best. Spike and I love each
other." Xander knows that towards the end of this he was babbling. He
just hoped that Willow caught everything. Oh well, if she hadn't
understood it from his words, she ought to at least be able to grasp
the fact that Spike had not let go of his hand since he had started
talking.
Willow didn't answer for a moment. She looked back and forth between
Spike and Xander, taking in one detail at a time. Noticing first
their tightly clasped hands. Then she looked at their faces. They
both wore expressions she hadn't seen in far too long, In Spike's
case, she didn't think she had ever seen it. They were both happy,
completely and totally happy. She knew then that this was good and
right. Tara and Dawn had been right, she should have seen it. She
broke into a smile and hugged each of them. "I'm happy for you. A
little surprised, but I shouldn't be. Dawn and Tara knew months ago,
before you did, I'd guess. Could you please tell me what that call
was all about this morning, Spike?"
Spike was visibly relieved when Willow reacted positively. "I'm sorry
about that pet. I kissed him, then I told him to go to sleep. He did,
and I couldn't so I was left to wonder and worry about what it meant.
We figured it out though. Didn't we love?"
Xander stepped closer to Spike, wrapping an arm around his
waist. "Yeah, I guess we did. What was that about Dawn and Tara?"
Willow giggled, "Dawn has been saying you two are in love for months
now. I asked Tara what she thought after our first dinner, and she
said she thought maybe so. She said it would be a good thing. I
wasn't sure then, but now I am. She was right. This is a good
thing."
"Yeah it is." Xander responded.
They still had some time, so Willow pried until she got the entire
story of the morning out of Spike and Xander. They decided that it
would be best if they waited and told everyone else together. It
would be easier anyway. The rehearsal went as planned, no demonic
attacks interfered, and if anyone noticed that Spike and Xander
touched a little more than usual they didn't say anything. Xander,
Dawn and Giles were quite busy with Willow and Tara perfecting just
where to stand at various points in the ceremony and practicing their
own few words. Spike watched intently, his eyes never leaving Xander.
Wesley and Gunn were restless, it was still after dark in Sunnydale
after all. It didn't help that they seemed to be the only ones
concerned with making sure there were no demons at the site. Cordelia
watched everyone and everything with rapt attention, only taking time
out to yell at Angel for hovering again. And Angel, well, he hovered.
He was never quite satisfied that Cordelia was comfortable.
When everything was finished, the whole group headed back to the
magic shop where they were going to eat dinner. They had opted out of
doing the traditional formal dinner after rehearsal. They were
content just to all be together. They had finally decided they would
just get together for pizza afterwards. As soon as they were all in
the shop and little details like ordering the pizza and getting
drinks were taken care of Willow spoke. "Now that everyone's here,
there are a couple of things that I want to say. First I want to
thank all of you for being here. I hope you all know that I love you.
You guys are my family. My parents aren't coming to the wedding. They
don't mind so much that Tara's a girl, but they just can't get past
the fact that she isn't Jewish. That's okay though, because it's been
a long time since they were really family." Willow cried just a
little, but there was still a smile firmly on her face. "There is one
more thing, but it's really not for me to tell. We have more than
just the wedding to celebrate today." She looked over at Xander. It
was his turn now.
Xander stood up rather tentatively. He hadn't been nervous when he
talked with Spike about this, but he was nervous now. He reached out
for Spike's hand, and found it. "Well, Spike and I talked this
morning. We talked for a long time actually. We realized something.
Somewhere along the line, with everything that's happened we fell in
love." Xander stopped there, he didn't know what else to say, so he
decided to say nothing.
Spike stood up and wrapped his arms around Xander. He looked around
the room trying to gauge the reaction. "That's right. We love each
other." Spike kisses Xander gently after affirming what Xander has
already said.
When the two of them break from the kiss, they look to their friends.
Willow and Tara are wearing matching gentle smiles, happy for their
dear friends. Giles looks a bit confused, but not in the least upset.
Angel is smiling. Even Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn don't look upset.
Dawn is practically ready to burst from excitement.
"I told you. I was right. They are in love." Dawn was saying to the
room at large.
Giles walked over to where Spike and Xander were standing. In a rare
show of physical affection, he hugged Xander. "This is something to
celebrate." He then turned to look at Spike, "Take care of him for
us, Spike."
"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting this. I'd just barely managed to
deal with the fact that Spike seemed part of the group. Now he's my
ex-boyfriends boyfriend. Excuse me, if I can't get to happy about
this just yet. I'm not saying I won't be, but give a girl some time
to adjust." Cordelia was the only one to voice what she knew Wesley
and even Gunn must also be feeling.
Spike nodded, before answering her. "I know that you don't trust me.
You probably shouldn't I've never given you any reason to. I promise
you, that this is real though. I love Xander, and I believe he loves
me. It's not going away, so please just try to accept it."
Angel answered for her, "Spike, I think all of us who new you before,
can see that you are different. That doesn't make this easy though.
Give it time. Also I don't think you really need to hear this, but
you do know that if you ever hurt him, I will hurt you, don't you?"
Angel's voice is even and measured. He's not at all surprised at this
news, and really rather happy about it.
Spike laughed at that last from Angel, "Yeah, I know. I won't ever
hurt him, but if I did, I don't think you'd ever get the chance to
hurt me. The girls and Giles here would beat you to it, that I'm sure
of."
Angel smiled, "You're probably right."
Before anyone else could give their opinion of this new development,
the pizza arrived. They ate, talked, and laughed through the rest of
the evening. This time everyone did notice that Spike rarely left
Xander's side, for that matter he was rarely not touching Xander.
They also noticed that the two seemed incredibly happy, something
that a few months earlier no one would have believed possible. This
happiness as much as anything eased at least Cordelia's fears
somewhat. Still, over the course of the evening nearly everyone
managed to talk to Spike and Xander. They wouldn't say much tonight,
but they all wanted to talk later. It was certainly a good thing that
Xander had the whole week off. His days were packed.
After everything had been cleaned up and most people had gone home,
only Willow, Tara, Dawn, and Giles were left in the Magic Box.
"I suppose I should have seen this coming. Somehow, I just never
expected it." Giles, was not really upset. He just didn't know why he
didn't realize that something was happening sooner.
"I think Dawn is the only one who can claim to have really seen it
coming. Then Tara kind of agreed with her. I didn't see it either
Giles, not even after they told me there was something to look for.
They make each other happy though. I was really scared that Xander
wouldn't ever be really happy again. He was so lost after Anya died.
I'm glad Spike can make him happy." Willow reassured Giles.
"She's right. Without Dawn saying something, I would have overlooked
things." Tara added
"Great, they are happy. Now, that everyone sees that I was right all
along, how long do you think it will be before Angel and Cordelia
admit they like each other?"