Chapter 10
Finnick, Beetee, and Haymitch have all left, to go back to their living quarters for the night. That leaves Gale and I, alone in the garden with the bees. I vaguely remember the rolls I stuffed in my pocket earlier and take them out. They are a little deformed, but still edible. I hand one to Gale and he unwraps the cheese from the napkin in his hand and sits down next to me on the bench. "Watch out for the splinters," is my weak attempt at a conversation. I sit there in silence, nibbling on my mangled bread and warm cheese, thinking about what lies ahead of us. It reminds me of the day of reaping, when Prim's name was drawn. I keep going back to that day, wishing I could change the way things had happened. If only someone else's name had been drawn, I would never have known Peeta's feelings about me. He would be just another boy Tribute from District 12, Gale and I would still be hunting in the woods together. But, would it really have been that easy to dismiss Peeta? A part of me thinks no. He was the boy with the bread and, even though we never talked to each other, I still would have been hoping for him to come back home alive.
"Katniss, what were you going to tell me, before Haymitch stopped you?" Oh, I had almost forgotten about that. The Avoxes. Darius. I have already told Gale about the red-headed girl, who I was shocked to see as one of our servers before the first Games. So, I go on to tell the story of how, upon our arrival in the Capitol, Darius had become her partner. Snow had turned him into an Avox, probably for not enforcing all the Capitol's rules in District 12. Although Darius was a Peacekeeper, he had become a friend to Gale and I, and enjoyed the bounty of our illegal poaching in the woods as much as anyone. In fact the Hob, which was our town's black market, was one of his favorite hangouts. I have guilt over Darius' fate as well. The Capitol would have never known about his negligence if I hadn't shown them I could hunt in the Games. Too many lives of innocent bystanders seem to dovetail with my involvement in the Games. It would have been so much better for me to die in the arena.
I look up to see a green and yellow butterfly land on the thyme plant. From my vantage point, you can hardly tell it's there, the colors blend in so well. "You know, it's not your fault about Darius. He had signed on with the Capitol to be a Peacekeeper. He was the one who decided to not follow their rules." I can feel Gale's eyes looking at me, but I just can't bring myself to meet his gaze. I know that Gale doesn't feel as sorry for Darius as I do, because Darius was a part of the enemy, the Capitol. But, the shame I felt upon seeing him turned into an Avox was overwhelming. No one deserves that, not even someone who supposedly works for the very people that delight in sending children to their death or sentencing others to a life of silence for being so-called traitors.
"I think it's time to start back for the night. I'm tired. This day has been the longest day of my life." It might have sounded petty to Gale, but I don't care. I'm mentally finished. Too many emotions and thoughts have run the course of this day and my head is going to explode if I sit here any longer, ruminating on things I can't change.
Gale escorts me back to the hospital ward. Thankfully this is my last night here. I can't wait to go sleep in the apartment with my mother and Prim, where there is more separating me from the world than a flimsy white curtain. I'm really beginning to hate the color white.
I don't bother to change out of my clothes. For one, I don't even know what I'd change into. And secondly, I want to feel the softness of these garments that Cinna made for me on my body for as long as possible. I wish to go back in time, to a day where troubles weren't always swimming through my mind. I wish I could think of a happy story that didn't involve anyone that has died, been hurt, or is in trouble now. Problem is, I don't know any. It seems as if death and tribulation have followed me around my whole life.
I toss and turn, slipping in and out of sleep, until I can't take it anymore. I hop up, put on my shoes and decide to go for a walk around District 13. I stuff Gale's map in my pocket and slip out from behind my curtain on hunter's feet, hopeful that the nurses won't see me escaping their watch. When I make it to the hallway, I let out a tiny sigh of relief. Now, just to figure out where I'm going. It's still too early for the cafeteria to be open and I doubt if Gale is awake yet. I don't have clearance to go back to Weapons Development, but I don't really know what I would do there even if I could get in. That leaves only one other place to go, other than outside. The library.
The elevator ride wasn't bad. I didn't get lost and nobody has seen me. Two positives in my opinion. I look around at the room in front of me, full of wooden bookshelves stuffed with books. I see sections marked "Children's", "Adult", "Reference", and I am astounded by how much a person could probably learn here. But, honestly, I've never been much of a reader. Now that I'm here, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I wander down the aisles, picking up a book here and there to look at it's cover. Nothing interests me, until I see a book about artists. On the cover is a picture of sunset, done in watercolor. It's beautiful. I skim through the pages and see a sketch of a bird, soaring among the treetops. I quickly turn it only to find a picture of something that looks like the morphling addicts from District 6 would have done. I set the book back down with a thud, it's bringing up way too many memories.
I have nowhere to go, nothing to do with myself, other than sit down in a chair and let my thoughts trail to what kind of plan Haymitch is going to contrive to get us into the Capitol. I go round and round in my mind, trying to exhaust every possibility. I close my eyelids and scoot myself down in the chair, trying to bring back the image of that blazing yellow and orange sunset that I shared with Peeta. Just as my mind has found an inner peace, I snap my eyes open.
I can't believe I hadn't thought about this before now. I run back to the elevator and quickly push the buttons. I wasn't careful enough in my selection, so I end up in the ventilation room. To my credit, I realize the mistake and this time take a little extra effort to send myself to the right place. Gale's apartment door is locked, and I wouldn't normally be this rude, especially since the rest of his family is in there with him, but I need to tell him about my plan. Besides, it has to be close enough to daylight, although it's hard to tell when you're locked away underground.
I knock on the door, softly at first but then find myself giving hard little pounds. I wait for a few minutes and still no one has answered. I'm just about to turn on my heel and try to find Haymitch's apartment, when the door slowly opens. It's Gale, and he's only wearing his pajama pants. This shouldn't have taken me off guard, because I'm the one knocking on his door early in the morning, but it does. "Katniss, everything okay?" His voice sounds scratchy from being asleep, and I can't stop staring at his dark, curly chest hairs. "Uh...I'll come back later." I can feel the hotness on my cheeks and silently wish I could melt myself into the floor. "What time is it anyway? You had to have a reason to be here this early, pounding on my door" says Gale. Okay. I did have a reason, but now it feels like it can wait until morning. I suppose that doesn't make much sense since I've already woken him up. "Yeah. I did. But, it can wait until morning. You were still asleep. I'll just meet you for breakfast." I nod my head, trying to get Gale to nod along with me. Instead, he says, "Just a minute. Let me get dressed. Stay there, okay?" If I could be certain of escaping from the hallway without him searching me out, I'd do it. But, I know Gale. And, now that I've already woken him from slumber, he's not going to just let me slink away.
Gale comes out, a few minutes later, and we start walking down the hall. "So, what's so important that you had to wake me up this early?" I can tell from his voice that he's not angry with me, but I'm not sure how to start. "I couldn't sleep. So, I ended up in the library. And, then I found this book on art. But, it brought back all these awful memories, so I put it back down." I stop because Gale is looking at me with a puzzled expression. I know what I'm saying isn't making sense, so I just blurt out, "I have a plan. To get into the Capitol."
"And, this plan of yours, does it involve a book about art?" I must sound crazy to him. But, it's kind of a crazy idea. "Yes," I say breathlessly. I'm pretty sure now he thinks I've lost whatever sense was left in my body. "Okay. Let's go somewhere and talk. Maybe get some fresh air." He looks at his watch and back to me. "This way. We might be able to watch the sunrise." I let him herd me into another elevator, but this time it shoots us straight up. It's an exhilarating feeling and by the time we reach the top, I've got goose bumps on my arms.
When the doors open it takes me a minute to figure out where I am. Outside. Where there is a breeze blowing against my face and the beginning of a rosy hue on the horizon. Gale puts his jacket over my shoulders and we start walking off, towards the edge of the compound. I see some livestock, off in a small pasture to our right, but the rest of the concrete pad is surrounded by woods. This is a completely different picture than what the Capitol has painted of District 13. Although there are still large pock marks on the earth, marking where the bombs were dropped, they've all but been erased by nature.
Gale leads me to an even patch of green grass on the edge of the woods, facing the pasture, and we sit there, quietly watching the sunrise. "So, what's your big plan?" says Gale. I look towards the woods and use them as my reference. "You see how the dark and lights of the shadows play in the woods? And, how sometimes, even animals can blend themselves in so well that a hunter can walk right past it's prey?" I have commanded his full attention now, and he says "Go on." I start by explaining to him how Peeta camouflaged himself in the mud so well that I couldn't see him. Then, how Haymitch, Cinna, and even Plutarch Heavensbee played their game of deception with the Capitol so brilliantly, that they never saw it coming, kind of like camouflage. "I'm going to suggest to Coin that Heavensbee and I do an interview, in District 1, where the Rebellion has just taken control. To help rally the forces of the Rebellion together, to speak as their Mockingjay."
Gale says, "But I thought you hated all that camera stuff. Why would you want to do that now?"
I can't help but smile at my cleverness. "I do hate it. But, don't you see, this is the last thing they expected me to do. If we can get to District 1, then we're basically on the outskirts of the Capitol. Plutarch can pretend to make the shooting take as long as we need. With a little camouflage..."
"You think we can sneak in past the tunnel. Undetected." Gale says. Yes. Yes I do. Even more so since it's just the three of us going in. "I'm going to need my prep team. They are going to have to help us become unseen. And, of course, I'll need them there to do the mock-interview, to make it look legitimate." The more I play this scenario through in my mind, the more I think it could just possibly work. All we need is for Haymitch to pitch the idea for us in front of Coin. I look down to see that my fingers have been busy making a fishing lure out of grass. I hand it to Gale, "Here. For you." He studies it in his hand, and then looks out towards the first beams of sunlight that have started to dance across the pasture. "I guess this is it then. We'd better go tell Haymitch." I guess this is it. I don't know why Gale said that with such a note of finality in his voice. We stand up and walk back towards the entrance of District 13, and I find myself looking forward to the possibility of what the future holds in store for us.
Author's Note: I would like to thank all of you who have taken the time to leave a comment or review for me. It's great, really, to know that I'm not the only one reading this! So, thanks for following me as this story progresses.