Chapter 10
At first I tried to act like everything was normal. Why wouldn't they be so? Nothing much had changed. Rein was still dead, I was still skipping classes, and Bright still gazed at our house with the melancholic eyes of a tragic lover.
But Shade had changed. He had changed immensely since I revealed what the butler's wife had suspected.
"Hey, Fine," he would smile at me from his yard, his voice sugary and comforting, with a steely undercurrent where he second-guessed my every move.
"Hello," I would reply. Yet as I headed towards school, I could sense him following me, believing that I would settle down in the park with him, and that he would be able to surveil my every move. Instead of that, I deliberately turned at every other corner, trotting through bushes and down shortcuts, until I could no longer hear his hesitant footsteps chasing after me. When I felt safe and certain, I would then turn up at the bus stop and hop on whichever ride came next, in hopes that he wouldn't be able to catch up.
School was tougher now that I spend most of my time in the middle of nowhere, avoiding the presence of anyone I knew. Chiffon would keep notes in her neat cursive, and they piled up until I lost count of them and had to ask Lione for help with my homework.
Surprisingly, now with Shade lurking at the school gates occasionally, the library became my refuge. Ms. Tamba Rin had given up on therapy sessions by Mrs. Pole, so that whenever I ducked between the bookshelves, I did so with the relief that I wouldn't bump into the therapist and be dragged into another round where she muddied up my thoughts again.
Several times, I had wanted to turn round and invite Shade to walk me to school. Yet instinct warned me against it, foreboding some unseen menace that would happen if I did so. I didn't know why, but I kept avoiding him fora while.
Yet the day had come when I knew I couldn't just go on dodging his presence. It was Shade's eighteenth birthday.
Bright's parents had brought him to the city centre to collect his inheritance that morning. The mansion hadn't been insured, I had heard, but even when all the necessary procedures and payments were dealt with, he was left with an allowance that sufficed to help him start anew.
While Shade and Bright's parents were away, Altezza and I stayed behind to decorate her living room. As this was Shade's first proper birthday party in, perhaps a decade, Camelia had insisted that the celebration be as lavish as possible, while Shade had insisted on keeping things in a low profile. Eventually, somehow, they had settled for a home-made cake and a ton of store bought decorations that the family car's trunk could barely contain.
As we replaced the table cloth with a pristine, velvety sheet, Altezza groaned, "Why on earth are we putting in so much effort?"
"It's been a while since something uplifting has happened. Let's roll with it."
"Mum's only doing this because she thinks she might get a chunk of his inheritance." She then eyed me mockingly. "Well, you're the lucky girl, aren't you?"
"Am I?" I tried to sound as aloof as possible.
"And there I thought—" Altezza was on the verge of making some snide remark, when Bright entered the living room. "Never mind."
"Haven't hung the banner yet?" he asked.
"You do it, you're tall enough," Altezza stipulated. "I have no idea why you enjoy doing this."
"But it makes the house look better, don't you think?" said Bright as he untangled the multiple brightly-coloured banners with the words "Congratulations, you're 18!" written in different shapes and sizes.
"The way mum does it, I say it's an explosion of gaudy colours," shivered Altezza. "God, if I were Shade, I wouldn't be able to stand this nonsense."
"Just bear with it."
I noticed the acidic tone in Altezza's voice. "Aren't you happy for Shade?"
"Happy?" she scoffed. "Always playing the victim card, that's what he does, moaning on about how he was imprisoned in the basement and how the servants were mean to him. I don't know how you managed to put up with him, Bright."
"It's just a matter of time before he moves away, Altezza."
"But still, it gets so annoying after a while, especially when he does that to win favours from mum and dad. And they actually fall for that act. It's so lame." She rolled her eyes.
I stopped picking at the red paper chains and looked up. "He said what?"
Altezza ignored me and ranted beneath her breath. "I don't see what's so terrible about escaping a fire unscathed and basically being a millionaire."
"He lost his family," chided Bright.
"Judging from the way he talks about them, I doubt he cares," snorted Altezza. "In fact, I'll bet he set the house on fire on purpose just to—"
"Altezza!" he bellowed. The paper chains had withered from my hands into a limp heap on the freshly cleaned carpet.
"I'm sorry," I gasped. The siblings hurried about with their chores, with Bright comforting me under his breath and Altezza turned to a side, embarrassed. As though paralysed, I remained on the spot for quite a while before looking up defiantly at her, my rebuke right at hand.
"You're wrong, Altezza," I said. "He's not like that. The Shade that I know would never, ever harm someone, even for his own benefit. He was lonely and friendless, and all he wants is company from people who genuine loves him. And I'm sick of you trying to put him down like that."
Cold, cold eyes of emerald. "You've never seen how he acts when he think he's alone, have you?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, the way he moves, the way he mutters to himself, the way his whole expression changes once he thinks the door's closed."
"That's enough, Altezza, I don't want you to suggest anything that you only suspect," Bright interrupted.
"You're just trying to plant doubt inside my head because you're jealous of our relationship," i wavered.
She rolled her eyes. "Jealous? Please. I'm just looking out for you, as a friend. You trust him because you think he loves you—"
"He does!" I cried. "He loves me. We love each other!"
"Maybe he does. But even so, you're believing in every word he says, and that's creepy."
"Bright?" weakly, I sought help and reassurance from the older Jewell sibling, confirmation that what Altezza was saying was just pure fantasy, resulting from reading too many gossip columns and watching soap operas. Yet even he buried himself in his numerous banners. Remembering how he had advised me when we were left alone in my front yard, I slumped.
"You're on her side," I said. And when he didn't reply, I murmured, "And I thought you were my friends."
"We are your friends," he explained. "That's why we're telling you all this."
"You don't even know him."
Altezza, solemn and somber, asked, "Do you?"
Yes I do. I know Shade. I know that his mother was buried in a close-casketed funeral, I know that he was trapped in an attic for years, I know that he was isolated from his sister, I know that his family died in a fire that only he survived, I know that he loves open spaces and hates the dark, I know that he would accompany me wherever I go, I know that he loves reading and studying and, and, I know, I know, I know…
"Happy Birthday to you," sang the Jewells, as Shade beamed at his chocolate cake and multitudes of gifts, from neighbours, the Jewell's friends, and us of course, all wrapped up and filled with valuables like watches, designer clothes and leather bags. Peering around the table, I noticed that, besides dad and I, all the guests who were invited wore their smiles like a mask, especially Bright and Altezza, who hours ago had just expressed their contempt to the birthday boy.
A bunch of hypocrites, that's all they are, I thought. A bunch of hypocrites who only wanted to be in Shade's favour because he was rich and young and naive.
I know that I was all Shade had, and that he was all I had, and we had only each other to hold on to in the world.
We went to the park after dinner. Away from the gloss and the dazzle and the cheer, the park was by comparison a soothing cup of tea to the party's eight-course meal.
"God, that was a hassle," muttered Shade.
"They're just happy for you," I lied.
"Yeah right."
We were the only visitors to the park that night. Sitting on the bench, I leaned on his shoulder as he put his arm around me. In the height of summer, the air was heavy and damp, and I could feel his sharp shoulder blades beneath his flimsy T-shirt.
"I was thinking on the way back from the city, that now that I could support myself, financially, I was hoping that we could get out of here and really be together," he ventured.
I didn't understand.
"We could wait until you graduate, or even finish university, but I was thinking we could move to some other country, someplace away from all this misery, and really start our life together."
"What makes you think I'll come with you?" i resisted both the temptation to hold him tighter and shove him away, choosing to stand erect, stiffly, like a corpse.
"Well," he murmured in my ear with his suave, mellow voice. "I was hoping that you would marry me."
I know, I know, I know…somehow, these were the only words that echoed in my mind.
He continued, "I've been thinking these days, when you were away, how we're meant for each other. No matter how different we might be, I couldn't stand spending a day without you. I love you Fine. I want to be with you."
I tried to wriggle away from him, but to no avail. "We could buy a little flat halfway across the world, and stay there together for the rest of our lives, never coming back to this miserable place. You'd like that, wouldn't you? I know you would."
Deathly afraid, I tried to imagine how life with Shade would actually be like: the two of us living in our own apartment, coming home from work, laughing over dinner, snuggling in bed together, and someday, perhaps, children…And all the time, Altezza's suspicions whirling at the back of my mind.
"Why the hurry?" I asked.
"Why wait," he laughed. "Anyway, I'd like to be with you as soon as possible. Won't you?"
"Yes, but, but…halfway across the world?"
"I hate it here," Shade muttered darkly. "Don't you? It keeps reminding me of the fire—"
"Stop! Stop it!"
"People here don't like me. They don't really like me. I'd love to go away to somewhere faraway, somewhere that's isolated from the rest of the world. Wouldn't you be happy with that?"
"No, that's horrible."
"Think about it: new, friendly faces everywhere, beautiful scenery, just the two of us, with no one else to remind you of—"
Rein. Rein, Rein, Rein, Rein, Rein. Rein was everywhere here. Even when her name wasn't mentioned. Rein, Rein, Rein. The slides where she played, the school she attended, the room she lived in, the street that she passed by, the guy that she used to date. She was everywhere.
"Won't you rather live somewhere so you could put all that behind you?"
"Halfway across the world?" I squeaked.
"Someplace totally different from here, so you wouldn't wake up one day and think that you're still at home."
I thought and thought and thought. "Someplace quiet, someplace to start anew. A fresh start," he exhorted.
With my head on his shoulder, I breathed in his sweat and felt his glance trained upon my silhouette in anticipation. I imagined a cool summer night years in the future, with just the two of us, in our own place, without anyone's presence haunting us.
"Won't we feel lonely?"
"We might not be lonely for long," he smiled suggestively.
Snuggling further within his embrace, I had made up my mind.
"Fine? What do you think?"
I turned upwards to kiss him. "Yes."
Author's Note: I'm sorry if I seem to be rushing things, but I've pretty much got tired of writing this and will finish the story in two more chapters.