Partnered

by:

JJS4 & A.K. Hunter

Chapter Ten

Kevin was going out of his way to avoid his partner. He only spoke to her if she spoke to him first, which didn't happen very much. She only came to him when it was absolutely necessary. He'd see going out of her way to not ask him for anything, so the only time she did was when it was only something only he could help her with or answer. He was thankful for her avoidance, in a way. He wasn't sure how to approach her—how to even talk to her. He wasn't sure what would be appropriate, and he didn't want to set her off. He answered the questions quickly, only going into great detail when it was needed.

Kevin missed Alexis, but he also knew that her reasons for being that way toward him were warranted. He'd broken whatever trust he had earned with her. There was nothing he could say to make it better, to make her understand. He was just a guy who got drunk and took advantage of her. Or maybe they took advantage of each other. He wasn't sure.

What Kevin did know for certain was that if she no longer wanted to talk to him off the job, there was nothing he could do to change that.

He wished those stupid fantasies would stop. He figured after they'd had sex and he was disgusted with himself, that they would end. He was wrong. He still found himself thinking about her late at night—how soft her skin had been, how sweet her moans were, how good it felt to wake up with her in his arms. At least in that brief moment before reality had crashed down on his head. Most of all, he thought about how her voice sounded when she told him he could have her.

He still hated himself. He shouldn't have touched her; he should have left her alone. He should have put her in her bed and left. There had been no reason for him to stay. Sure, they were both a little drunk, but that didn't mean he couldn't have left. He'd wanted to stay because he'd selfishly wanted to be with her.

The old Kevin Ryan, the one who only saw Alexis only as a rookie, would have left that night. He would have left and gone to some bar to find any woman to fulfill his needs. In hindsight, he should have done the same thing that night. He should have went back to the bar, found some girl and gone home to do whatever he wanted to do to Alexis to that girl. It would have been sick and twisted, but it was better than what he actually did that night.

Things were never going to be right with them if they never talked about it. He went back and forth on that notion. Talking about it seemed embarrassing and unnecessary on some level, but he knew that if they did talk about it, they could maybe put it behind them. He wasn't above apologizing to her over and over again, but he didn't know if she would even believe him.

Explaining his side of the story was hardly easy. She'd think worse of him if she knew that, for weeks before that night ever happened, he had been having fantasies about her. She would be more disgusted learning that. He couldn't tell her, but he wanted her to know that she wasn't just some girl he slept with. She was his partner, the girl he had taken care of, and somewhere along the lines, someone who he had grown feelings for.

Kevin sighed, shaking his head. He'd never expected to have feelings for her. Sure, he'd thought she was gorgeous, but he could say that about a lot of women. That didn't mean he had feelings for them. He'd only felt that way about one other person, and that vulnerability wasn't necessarily something he wanted to relive.

He shook away the thoughts and stood up from his desk in desperate need of a pick-me-up. He hesitated, but slowly made his way over to Alexis' desk.

"I'm getting some coffee. Would you like some?" Asking her if she wanted to coffee wouldn't set her off, would it?

Her only response was to shake her head. He didn't say anything else. He just went into the break room, wanting to leave before he decided to press his luck.

While hiding out in the break room for as long as he could without getting caught by the captain, he saw Alexis walking past the break room with a tall, dark-haired man in tow. It was enough to pique his interest. He knew it shouldn't have, but nobody came to see Alexis. She was good at keeping her professional and personal lives separate. He looked out the windows, but didn't see them.

He looked down, noticing he had only a sip of his coffee left. He tossed it in the trash and walked out of the door. For a moment he stood there, weighing his options. He could go back to his desk or he could snoop. He knew what the correct answer was, but he didn't follow through with it. Instead, Kevin walked down the hallway until he heard voices. He stopped and hid behind wall, hoping they hadn't heard his footsteps.

"How is this my job?" Alexis asked in an angry voice. Apparently he had gone unnoticed. He was a little relieved to see her anger being used against someone else. Maybe she'd get her anger out on this guy and wouldn't have enough left over for him. He could dream, right? Kevin went back to listening when he heard a male voice.

"I know you can get around these types of things."

"If I want to lose my job, which I don't."

"Come on, you know if you would let me, I'd help you in a heartbeat."

"Well I don't ask for help. Maybe you should act a little more like me."

"Come on!" The guy whined. "I don't want to go to court!"

"That's not my problem! You were the one who decided to act half his age and tell off a police officer while you were drunk. You always do these stupid things. Why should I always have to be the one to bail you out?"

"It's just this one little thing, Alexis."

"No, it isn't. Ever since I started working here, you've been trying to take advantage."

"Of you?"

"And my position."

Kevin had gathered who the man was. He didn't know he would try to use his own daughter like that. Kevin sighed. He didn't any right to try and act like he was a man of honor.

"I can't do it anymore," Alexis continued. "I won't. You're going to have to learn to take responsibility for yourself and your decisions."

"What are you saying?"

"What, do I have to spell it out for you? I'm done! I'm not helping you anymore!" Kevin looked down the hall and saw two officers walking towards them. He didn't want to Alexis to get into trouble just because her dad was a prick. He quickly walked around the corner.

Alexis froze when she saw him.

"Is there a problem here?" he asked, looking between the two of them.

"No. Everything is fine," Alexis said, looking ashamed.

Her dad seemed to decide that Kevin wasn't there. "Alexis, can we please talk somewhere else?"

Kevin saw the anger in Alexis eyes. "No. I'm done talking."

"Alexis—" He raised his voice, and Kevin stepped forward.

"Hey! I think you should leave."

"I can't talk to my daughter?"

"I don't think she wants you here." He looked at Alexis. "Right?"

She nodded. "Just go, please."

Kevin watched the tall man stand there for a bit longer before he stepped in again. "I'm gonna have to ask you to leave." Kevin found his patience wearing thin with this man.

"I guess I'll go."

Kevin watched the man turn around and walk away. As soon as he was out of sight, he turned back to Alexis. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah." She quickly nodded, her cheeks as red as ever. "So, that was my dad."

"Yeah, I gathered that. You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. He just gets himself in trouble and wants me to bail him out." Alexis looked up at him. "Thanks for helping me."

"No need to thank me. He was being a dick. I'm glad I could help," he said, with a small smile.

"I'm sorry it came to that. I should have been able to handle him better."

"You did great."

"I did?"

"From what I gathered, he's been doing this for a while and you finally stood up for yourself. I'd say you did a damn good job."

Alexis stared at him for a moment and Kevin felt nervous. Was she going to yell at him for listening in? A smile tugged at her lips. "Thank you."

"Anytime." He smiled before walking away.

Kevin wasn't going to get his hopes up. He knew she was still mad at him, but getting her to smile, well, that was an addictive feeling. He didn't think he'd be able to see that smile again. If all it took was helping her in a stressful situation, he would be willing to be there as often as he could.

He didn't know that her dad was that much a stress point for her. He didn't know much about her now that he thought about it. Maybe one day he would be able to find out more.

"Here." Alexis sat a cup of coffee at his desk.

"What's that for?"

"I can't get my partner coffee?"

"You can. I just—" he stopped. No, he wasn't going to say anything. "Thank you."

"No problem," she said before returning to her desk.

Well if that wasn't progress, Kevin didn't know what was.

"Richard told me he visited you at the precinct."

Alexis glanced at her grandmother over her brunch menu and rolled her eyes. "Did he tell you why?"

"Something about his latest offense, I'm sure. It's difficult to keep track anymore."

It was one of those rare Sundays in which both Alexis and her grandmother, the famous Martha Rodgers, were available. Her grandmother suggested they get together for brunch and catch up. Alexis enjoyed listening to her grandmother's various stories from her latest tour, but she wasn't too keen to talk about her father's recent visit to the precinct.

"Was he mad?"

Martha shook her head. "Not at you. I think he was a bit displeased with the officer who asked him to leave."

Alexis frowned. "That's my partner, and he wasn't rude. He just made dad leave before he could cause a scene." Her defensiveness surprised her. Since when did she feel responsible for defending Kevin's intentions?

"I'm glad he was there for you."

"Me too." Alexis hid behind her menu, trying to distract herself with visions of mimosas and farm-fresh eggs. The alternative was too much to consider.

Unfortunately, her grandmother was nothing if not perceptive. After they had ordered and Alexis no longer had a menu to hide behind, Martha asked, "Is something wrong, darling?"

Yes. No. Alexis didn't know anymore. In the weeks since what Alexis considered "The Mistake," she'd been unable to reconcile her feelings not only for Kevin, but also how she felt about their night together. Obviously it was wrong. Obviously it was unprofessional. Except... it had also been, hands down, the most satisfying night of her life, even if it meant blending her professional and personal lives in the messiest way possible. If Alexis was being honest with herself, her feelings about that night weren't entirely bad. And that was the worst part, because admitting that sleeping with Kevin might not have been as disastrous a mistake as she'd originally believed meant that the lines between them were no longer quite so defined. Alexis liked things to be neatly packaged and clearly defined. She didn't do messy.

She looked across the table at her grandmother. Martha had certainly had her fair share of romantic missteps. In fact, a romantic misstep had resulted in Alexis' father being born. Maybe her grandmother could offer some much needed insight. Alexis certainly didn't know how to navigate her current situation.

"Gram," she began, "have you ever wanted to be with someone you shouldn't?"

"I think that's a pitfall everyone experiences at least a few times in their lives."

"What do you do in that situation?"

"I think the first thing you have to ask yourself is why you shouldn't want this person."

"Because it's wrong."

Her grandmother's soft smile told Alexis that the answer she'd provided, and the ultimate solution she'd been looking for, would not be so cut and dried. "Concrete terms,dear. No abstract ideas of right and wrong and good and bad. At the end of the day, you know if a person is good for you or not."

"How?"

"By the way they treat you. By how you feel when you're around them."

Heat rushed in Alexis' face when she considered the many faces of Kevin Ryan and how each of them had made her feel.

"Oh boy," Martha said. "I know that look." She flagged down their waitress. "We're going to need another round of mimosas." She turned her bright blue eyes back on her granddaughter. "Now spill."

Author's Note: We're back! What do you think? Thanks to ramennoodlebug, Lori, MissDazed, Dana, Lou, and all the guests for reviewing the last chapter.