Chapter 10
September 3
Sam sank back down against the tiles of the bathroom floor. Her head rested against the cool wall behind her and she moaned as she felt her stomach still churning. She had woken up with a splitting headache, and when she had tried to get out of bed her stomach played up, she became dizzy, and had to run to the bathroom. She was right in time before she threw up and was glad she didn't have to clean the whole bathroom. She knew she had to get up and clean herself, but she was afraid that once she was up, she would have to go back again and she didn't want to waist any time.
It took her 15 minutes to realize she didn't feel the need to throw up anymore, and she slowly got up and turned on the shower. She would let it get warm while she brushed her teeth. As she stood in front of the mirror and brushed her teeth, she closed her eyes and tried to relax a little. Her head felt like it was going to fall off any minute, and she hoped with a shower it would get less. She didn't know why she had the headache because she hadn't had any memories lately, but it felt like a headache she would get when she would remember something. After brushing her teeth and washing her mouth she stepped in the shower and tried to relax some more, but the shower didn't seem to help. So she started washing herself and then got out. She wrapped a towel around her head to dry and hold up her hair and then started drying herself off.
When she walked back to the bedroom she noticed Jesse wasn't in bed anymore, and she shrugged and got dressed. She had an appointment at the hospital today for a checkup of her head, and she would ask about the headaches there. She didn't know if Jesse wanted to come with but she didn't mind if he didn't, and as she thought about that she walked to the kitchen and saw Jesse standing in front of the coffee pot, only in his sweatpants.
''Hey,'' she said softly, careful not to startle him, and he turned around with a smile. He opened his arms for her to step in his embrace and she did, feeling a little better knowing he was there for her.
''I noticed you were already in the shower when I woke up – another headache that bad?'' he asked her softly, and she nodded as she closed her eyes. She was grateful he didn't talk loud, because even when he talked softly the headache intensified.
''I have an appointment today so I'll ask about it then,'' she told him, and he nodded. ''Are you coming with me?'' she asked and he shook his head.
''I can't – I have a meeting with a client,'' he replied, and she nodded. She didn't even know what he did, because he never told her about his job, but she didn't care that much. ''I'll come and pick you up when I get back in town and then we'll go to Kelly's for dinner,'' he told her, and she nodded. She hoped the headache would be gone by then, because she would really like to go out. She had been spending a lot of time in, because of the headaches.
''I'd like that,'' she said, and then she looked at him and tried to read him for what she was going to tell him next. He seemed relaxed, and she smiled at him. ''I'm meeting Jason for lunch,'' she said softly, and he frowned.
''Why?'' he asked her simply, and she looked at him again and sighed when she saw the anger start to flare up in his eyes.
''Jason and I are friends, Jesse. I want and need some friends – and even though I love spending time with you alone, it's nice to have someone to talk to,'' she said, and he sighed.
''I can be the someone to talk to,'' he snapped, and she nodded. She should've known she couldn't tell him. Ever since he had seen Jason and her together he didn't want her to spend time with him. She wanted him to be ok with it, and she knew he was jealous, but he didn't seem to trust her enough.
''You know what – I'll cancel. I don't want you to feel bad about this and I can cancel – I can see him another time,'' she told him, and he nodded. She knew he wouldn't want her to meet Jason another time either, but it didn't matter. ''I need to go,'' she said suddenly when she saw the time, and she walked over to the closet to get her purse. ''I'll see you tonight,'' she said, and then she kissed his cheek.
''See you tonight, babe,'' he said and he turned around. She sighed and walked out of the apartment feeling guilty. She didn't know what he had to make her feel that way but he did and she hoped he would be ok by tonight.
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Sam walked to the nurses' station and informed them she was here for her appointment, and sat down in the waiting area waiting for her doctor to come and get her. She looked around and sighed when she noticed the names on the board. The board that showed who was in the hospital and who wasn't. It told you what doctor you would get, and hers would be Jason Morgan. She'd hoped he wouldn't be there, but she didn't have a choice in her doctors.
''Miss McCall, the doctor is ready to see you now,'' a nurse told her, and when Sam got up the nurse led her the way to his office. Jason looked up when the door opened, and she smiled at him.
''Hey – I thought you were a patient of Patrick,'' he said, and she nodded.
''I know, but Patrick seems to be off so you have to check up on me,'' she said, and he smiled. He gestured for her to sit down and she did with a sigh.
''You look pale – is there something wrong?'' he asked, and she nodded.
''I'm having headaches – really bad ones, and I don't know what is wrong,'' she told him, and he nodded. He got up and walked to the door, opened it and called for a nurse.
''I need you to take Miss McCall to the scanner because I need to see what's going on,'' he told her, and when the nurse nodded he turned around to Sam and smiled at her, ''I want to do a new scan to see if there are any changes, and because of the headaches. Normally they shouldn't be that bad when you start to remember but sometimes there is something else causing the headaches,'' he told her, and she nodded and got up. Feeling dizzy again she grabbed the chair for support. He walked over to her and helped her. ''I'll go with you – I don't need you fainting,'' he said with a smile, and she nodded again.
''I'm not planning on it,'' she replied, and he smiled. He held her as they made their way to their destination, and he looked at her. ''Listen, about lunch – I can't make it,'' she told him, and he nodded.
''It's ok, Sam. I didn't expect you to come to lunch with a headache like this,'' he replied, and she nodded and smiled thankfully.
''I was about to call you after this appointment because I didn't have enough time before but I guess I can do it like this too,'' she added, and he smiled and nodded. They reached the place where the scanner was after a couple of minutes of silence, and Jason instructed Sam on what to do. Then he left and Sam had to lay still.
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Jason sighed when he didn't see anything on the scans. There was nothing that could cause the headaches Sam was having, and on the one hand it was great. He didn't need her to have a tumor right now – not so soon after what happened – and he was glad. On the other hand, he didn't know what to tell her – the headaches would be over when they would be over, but he didn't like not knowing what to tell a patient, and especially Sam. He had told her to go with the nurse – to his office – and he would come back as soon as possible.
As he walked back to his office, he thought of Sam. He wasn't surprised when she canceled the lunch. He knew it had something to do with the headaches, but he also knew the other part about it was because of Jesse. He hadn't seen her after that day at Kelly's, when Jesse had barged in and taken her with him. Jesse was a jealous type, and he hoped he wouldn't do anything else to hurt Sam, because even though he saved people for a living – he would kill Jesse with his bare hands.
He opened the door to his office and saw Sam turn around in the chair. ''I have the results,'' he told her, and she nodded and smiled. ''There is nothing out of the ordinary, but I do want you to be careful. Sometimes the headaches are because you are starting to remember – and combined with stress in your life it can get pretty bad,'' he added, and she nodded. He could see her think about it, and he looked at her for a moment.
''That's a relief – I thought because you wanted to do a scan there was something seriously wrong with me,'' she said with a smile, and he nodded. He had thought the same. ''But if that is all, I think I don't have any questions,'' she said, and he nodded.
''Well, I can prescribe you some pain medication – if you take them you can be really disoriented but it helps with the headaches – a normal aspirin or something like that will only take the edge off,'' he told her, and she nodded.
''I can take it with me but I don't know if I'll take it – I don't know about being like that,'' she said, and she frowned. He sighed and shrugged.
''Maybe it's better if you take them at night,'' he suggested, and she nodded. ''I'm done here, and if you don't have any more questions I think this appointment is over,'' he added, and she nodded. She got up and smiled at him.
''Thank you, Dr. Morgan,'' she said, and he smiled at her and shook her hand. ''I'll be seeing you around, Jason,'' she added, and then she walked away. He sank down behind his desk in the chair and sighed. He was a doctor, but all the feeling going through him while she was in his office had nothing to do with that. He knew Patrick was in the hospital and he wondered what he thought he was doing giving Jason Sam as a patient for today, but he didn't really care that much. Not much later the door opened and Patrick walked in, and Jason frowned at him.
''Did you do that on purpose?'' he asked, and Patrick frowned but nodded.
''I did,'' he replied simply. ''I know you want her to see you for who you are but you never get the chance to see her,'' he added, and Jason nodded.
''I wish that I had Jesse's girl,'' he said softly, and Patrick started laughing. Jason looked at him with a frown and waited for him to stop laughing and telling him what he thought.
''You wished you had Jesse's girl – you never heard the song did you?'' he said still laughing, and Jason shook his head. ''Well, listen to it sometime – it's from Rick Springfield,'' he told him, and Jason sighed and nodded.
''This doesn't make any sense – I know she doesn't remember but sometimes I think she does by the way she jokes with me and all,'' he said, and Patrick nodded. ''It doesn't matter,'' he added, ''because she doesn't want me, she wants to be friends, even though she never has time,'' he said, and Patrick sighed.
''You know something is off with that Jesse dude,'' he said, and Jason nodded. ''Well, I need to get going – but you need to make sure Sam remembers you, Jason. Take her somewhere you two went a couple of times,'' he added, and Jason nodded again. He had thought about it lately, to take her to Jakes when she could come with him, and he decided to just call her and ask her. It took some time for her to pick up, but when she did he asked, ''hey, are you up for a drink tonight?''
''Hey Jason – I'm sorry I can't tonight – I don't know when Jesse will be back and he promised me dinner,'' she told him, and he sighed and nodded. He knew Jesse would be the excuse.
''Sure – what about tomorrow night?'' he asked, not wanting to give up, and he could hear her laugh softly.
''What about now?'' she asked, and he smiled. He looked at his watch and saw it was late in the afternoon already, and he nodded. It wouldn't be too weird going to a bar right now, and they didn't even have to drink. He just wanted her to remember the times they had there.
''Sure, I'll pick you up and bring you home – I know just the place,'' he said, and she sighed.
''See you in a minute,'' she said, and then she disconnected the line. He grabbed his stuff and went on his way.
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Sam smiled when there was a knock on the door and she walked to open it. Jason stood on the other side with a smile on his face, and she stepped out of her apartment after grabbing her keys and purse, and followed him to the car.
''I'm going to take you to Jakes – we've been there before and maybe you'll even remember something,'' he said, and she nodded. It didn't take long for them to get to the bar, and she smiled at Jason as she saw the state of the place. It was dark and dirty, but she liked it already. He took her hand and led her inside, and took her to the bar. ''What do you want – you want a beer?'' he asked her, and when she nodded he ordered them a beer. She sat down and looked at the bartender. With his beard he looked like a bum, but he wasn't.
''We went here?'' she asked Jason, who nodded and sat down on one of the stools. She followed his lead and sat down too, suddenly feeling her headache flare up again. ''Headaches mean I remember something,'' she whispered, and Jason looked at her in concern.
''Headache flaring up – It's the memories, I think,'' he replied softly, and she nodded. She knew she was going to remember something when the white flashes came, and she closed her eyes.
* ''I know, and that's part of the reason – the other one was you,'' he said softly, and she frowned.
''What about me?'' she asked him, and he shrugged.
''I'm thinking about you a lot – you're in my mind all the time and when I'm with her, I can't listen to her because I just want to be with you,'' he told her, and she took a deep breath. She didn't want this to be an issue, and she smiled at him when she realized he had the same feelings as she had.
''I have the same thing – I'm thinking about you all the time,'' she replied, and he smiled at her. ''I mean I know you were with my sister and I didn't meet with you here because I wanted to come between you two, but I really like you,'' she said, and he nodded. *
She remembered telling him she felt something for him, and he had told her the same. She also remembered every time they had spent in this place and she remembered Jason. God, she remembered everything Jason and she had done together, up until the last day, before she left to go and see him.
''I remember my time with you,'' she whispered, and then everything went black.