Story notes: One chapter left. Originally this was going to cap out at a nice, even 10 chapters but then something went wrong somewhere in the middle XD Sorry in advance for typos.
The letters had come almost immediately. At first it was once a day, and then, when Regulus failed to reply to any of them, they started arriving every other hour. Regulus threw each envelope into the fire, mildly interested in where his brother kept finding all these owls.
"You ought to at least read them, Regulus," his cousin had said, watching Regulus incinerate the thickest letter yet. "Give him a chance."
"To do what?" Regulus had snapped. "Berate me further? Tell me all about the nice comfy jail cell that's waiting for me back home?"
"No, love, to explain himself to you. All these dozens of letters…he's obviously trying to apologize."
Regulus had rolled his eyes so hard it hurt. "Right," he'd muttered. "How foolish of me. These notes are obviously full of love and remorse, not the legal jargon at the start of the Spain to England extradition process…"
ﯕⱤﯕⱤﯕⱤ
But León's words had stuck with Regulus and so he finally opened one of Sirius's letters out of morbid curiosity. The note was relatively short this time and had been delivered by a sparrowhawk, as though Great Britain were finally out of available owls.
Regulus had waited until his cousin was at work so he wouldn't lose face by being seen caving to his brother's will like this. For the past few weeks, León had been taking Regulus with him to work and while Regulus didn't mind the hustle of the newsroom or sitting in on interviews, he'd needed some peace and quiet. Not that his cousin hadn't been reluctant…while he wouldn't admit as much, Regulus knew León had been dragging him along every day to keep an eye on him. When Regulus had arrived on his doorstep, León had not asked questions. He had stripped Regulus of all his clothing and healed every injury he'd had. His wand hadn't stalled or paused when it had passed over Regulus's arm, but León had noticed. Regulus could see it in his eyes. He knew he should say something, put his cousin's fears to rest, but for some reason he just couldn't. He had no intentions of slicing himself up again, it had been a spur-of-the-moment decision and a poor one at that—but Regulus found he did quite enjoy the attention he received when León thought that he might harm himself.
"Shoo," Regulus pushed at the bird. "I'm not sending back anything, so just go…"
But the hawk wouldn't leave. It let out a loud cry and hunkered over on its perch atop the back of Regulus's desk chair, shifting from foot to foot like a cat readying to pounce.
Regulus backed a few feet away. With one eye trained on the feathery dinosaur, he opened Sirius's latest letter.
Regulus,
It frightens me that you haven't replied to anything I've sent you. I can only hope that my letters have been reaching you safely and that you've been ignoring me out of spite. If that's the case, then I am begging you to send word back that you are at least all right, wherever you are. I know I've said this a thousand times and if it hasn't had any effect on you yet then repeating myself is probably no good, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said those things to you; I'm sorry I was rough with you and pushed you away. I was angry ,and I wasn't thinking clearly.
I've no idea where you've run off to, Regulus, though I'm certain you are out of the country. (Father has obviously tried to track you with his Spying Stone, but the coordinates came up a jumbled mess, which either means you are dead, or not anywhere in Great Britain, the British Isles, nor any of the Commonwealth Nations, since the stone only functions within those regions due to what I assume are bureaucratic reasons. Obviously since the tapestry at home has not replaced your face with a smoldering skull, I have ruled out the option of you being dead). Wherever you are, I don't have any confidence in your safety. You've angered some very dangerous people and you need to be where we can keep an eye on you. Believe it or not, I've spoken with Bella (through the mail of course) and she's informed me that while she and the most of our Black relatives are inclined to disavow you and move on, the Lestrange branch of our sordid family tree positively wants your blood. I worry that the likes of Bella or her parents would do little by way of protest should Rodolphus conscript them to bring you to him.
Am I getting my point across, Regulus? I don't want to frighten you, but the list of people you're safe running into alone has dwindled somewhat. I understand if you are angry with me, or even scared (though you must believe me when I promise that I would never hurt you, no matter what I might have said in anger. I did not inherit those genes). You have every right to be upset. So did I. That's no excuse for how I treated you, though. I know I've said this a hundred times already, but I'll say it again: You are very young. You were scared, confused, and misguided and so your behavior is excusable. I am an adult and your older brother. It is my job to take care of you. Therefore my behavior was unforgivable. It's a double standard, but it's one I signed up for when I convinced you to come stay with me.
And speaking of staying with me. I understand that's probably the last thing you'd consider doing right now and I won't keep begging you to come back to me. At this point, Regulus, just come back. Go home to Grimmauld Place if you must; Mother and Father have been frantic looking for you. I've never seen them so distraught. Father actually showed up at my flat, asking me to help him search for you, and Mother hasn't gone into the office since you disappeared. To be honest, if you stay away, I don't think the two of them will stay together all that much longer. I heard Mother screaming at Father that this was all his fault. I guess what they say must be true: people do not stay together after they lose their child…
I'm running out of meaningful phrases to end these letters with, Reggie. Please be warned that the falconer who loaned me this bird said he had trained it to return only with a response, or something along those lines. If it bites you, then I'm very, very sorry, but I'm getting desperate to hear from you.
All my love and concern,
Sirius.
Regulus bit his lip. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't homesick. He hadn't been truly planning to stay away forever. Actually, he wasn't sure what he'd been planning at all, because he really hadn't been. He knew he couldn't live his life on the lam. He knew he'd have to go home and face this mess eventually, but fleeing, however briefly, had just seemed so necessary at the time.
It was almost a painful relief to finally read Sirius's message. He'd been flippant with León, but in actuality, a part of him had feared that what he'd said might be true: that Sirius hadn't forgiven him and was merely so angry that he'd bombarded him with hate mail. Knowing that his brother was willing to forgive him…
Regulus felt a single tear slide from his eye. If he had known Sirius was capable of forgiving him for this, then he would have admitted to everything far sooner, before anyone had gotten hurt…Regulus felt the letter crumple as he brought his hands to his face. He wanted nothing more than to go back to Sirius's dingy little apartment, but what if things were just too broken?
"I won't let you do this to yourself anymore, Regulus." A voice from the hallway made Regulus jump and the sparrowhawk shriek.
"León?" Regulus asked numbly. His cousin stepped into the room smoothly. "You're home early!"
"Call me crazy, but I wasn't sure leaving you here alone all day was the best of ideas. Regulus, are you going to reply to your brother?"
Regulus glared sullenly. "No," he insisted. "I—I can't."
León sighed and folded his arms. Despite being significantly older than Regulus, he had (unlike every last one of Regulus's other cousins) never tried to boss Regulus around, or act like he was in charge. Right now, however, he seemed to be closer than he'd ever been.
"Regulus," he said warningly. "It's not good for you to be so far from home. You've got school coming up soon, no? Were you planning on hiding from that as well?"
Regulus muttered something in Spanish about intending to return to Hogwarts in a month or so.
León glared at him. "And Sirius still has one more year left, no? Were you just going to avoid him the whole term or what?"
Regulus swore. He hadn't thought of that.
"Regulus," León finally said after a bought of silence. "I never asked you for the exact details about what happened, and I don't expect you to fill me in, but it is only a matter of time before they find you anyway. Your parents must know by now that you have fled the country and I am the first person they'll contact once they've regained their heads. I won't lie about where you are."
"León…" Regulus whined. "You've got to!"
León shook his head. "Here are your two options," he said carefully. "You can wait for your family to inevitably locate you, and then they can come and drag you away. Or, I can contact your brother right now while everyone's worry for you is currently outweighing their anger."
Regulus only glared.
"I would prefer if you gave me permission to write to your brother, Regulus," León said softly. "I'd rather hand you over to him than to your father."
Regulus couldn't help the involuntary shudder that passed through his body at the mention of Orion. Next thing he felt his cousin's strong arms snake around him. Regulus only sniffed and allowed himself to be held for a moment.
"So do I have your okay to write to hermano mayor?" León whispered into Regulus's hair.
Regulus sighed in defeat and half an hour later, Sirius's intimidating hawk was fading away against the noontime sun, a short note impaled by its crushing talons.
ﯕⱤﯕⱤﯕⱤ
It took 24 hours for Sirius to receive to proper approval to apparate himself to the Ministry's Spanish embassy. Regulus noted with grim satisfaction that that was incredibly fast for an ordinary civilian.
"The bus was still faster, though," Regulus murmured while he and León lounged around the living room, waiting for Sirius to arrive.
León scoffed. "The bus took you to neutral ground right at the border, where I sneaked over to illegally smuggle you into the country. Even if you're underage it was still insanely risky and I could have ended up in jail if I'd been noticed. I was willing to do that for you. I am not willing to do that for Sirius because of you."
Regulus winced. "I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused you, cousin," he said sadly. "I appreciate your help, I really do. I was just so…"
"Frightened," León finished for him. "I understand, little one. You needed somewhere to be for a while, somewhere safe." The tone of his voice informed Regulus that he meant safe more so from the likes of Orion and Sirius than from any Death Eaters. "I would take you in again in a heartbeat because I love you."
Regulus blushed madly and disappeared behind a magazine. "I love you, too," he muttered so quietly he hoped León might not have even heard him, but at the same time loud enough that he surely must have.
Sirius didn't even knock when he arrived. He almost broke down the door.
"León?" he yelled. "Regulus? I hope this is right, all the addresses here are so confusing, I—Regulus!"
León was leading Regulus, who had been reluctant to show himself, into the entryway. Sirius rushed forward immediately. He tore Regulus from León's grip and hugged him so hard Regulus felt his spine pop.
"Oh my god, Regulus," Sirius whimpered. "I've been so worried. Everyone has. Do you realize you've been gone for almost a month?"
Regulus nodded mutely.
"Fuck, I thought we'd lost you for good," Sirius said, pulling back just enough so run his fingers through his brother's hair. Regulus stood stock still.
"M'fine," he muttered.
Sirius took several deep breaths. He looked to be near hyperventilating.
"Merlin, Sirius, calm down," Regulus whispered. "You're going to pass out."
Sirius looked down at him solemnly. "If anything had happened to you…oh this is all my fault."
Regulus could sense Sirius was about to pull him in for another painful hug, and so he sidestepped out of his brother's grip and quickly tried to distract him.
"Sirius, why did you change your mind?" he asked. "I thought you wanted me dead."
Sirius bit his lip. He briefly made eye contact with their cousin León, who merely raised a suspicious eyebrow. Of course León was on Regulus's side. Sirius cowered a little, feeling even worse about himself.
"I don't know," he admitted. "I was hurt and upset and didn't know how to communicate that to you at the time. So instead I guess I opted for trying to make you feel the exact same way. Reg, I came to my senses as soon as Father dragged you away. I was ready to go after you even before Lily punched me."
"Your mudblood friend hit you?" Regulus asked curiously.
Sirius nodded dully. "Yeah," he admitted. "Anyway, I apparated straight home—I mean Grimmauld Place. I was seconds too late, though. Father was already out in the yard screaming and trying to call the Knight Bus back. When he finally noticed me, things…didn't go too well."
Sirius seemed unwilling to elaborate further.
"What happened next?" Regulus prompted. Sirius gave him a weird look.
"Have you read nothing I've sent to you these last four weeks?"
Regulus shook his head. "Only your latest letter…at the behest of León," he added bitterly.
Sirius shot their cousin another glance that was both grateful and jealous. "Well," he continued. "Kreacher called Mother back home and she managed to pull the two of us apart. While the two of them were arguing, I was able to gather from what Father was saying that you had thrown yourself out a window and ran off on the bus, which was for whatever reason refusing to answer Father's summons."
"I asked the driver not to go to him," Regulus admitted with a shrug. "I paid her."
"Well rest assured Father spent a lot of time and money trying to threaten the Ministry into forcing the bus driver to admit to where she'd taken you, but it didn't work because they're a private company and you were old enough to be considered an adult passenger or some such nonsense."
"Wow," Regulus breathed. He was slightly in awe of all the concern that had come up over his disappearance.
Sirius smiled sadly. "You didn't think for an instant that everyone wouldn't be going crazy over your disappearance, did you, Reg?"
Regulus only shrugged. Sirius turned to address León for the first time since he'd arrived.
"Thank you for taking care of him," he said kindly. "I feel so much better knowing he was with you."
"He's no trouble," León said, shrugging. "I expect you to bring him back for a legal visit sometime."
Sirius smiled. "Give Mother and Father some time to cool down and I'm sure we can make it happen. Spain is, uh…?"
"Relatively safe from your little Dark Lord problem for now, yes," León said smugly. Sirius seemed to relax.
Regulus was still hung up a couple sentences prior.
"What do you mean Mother and Father?" he asked slowly. "Sirius…"
Sirius took ahold of Regulus by the arm, as though worried he might run off, and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I thought I was going back with you. I am going home with you, right? Sirius, answer me!" Regulus demanded.
"Don't be upset, Regulus," Sirius begged. "But our parents have been very insistent that they will get you back one way or another. I'm here to take you to Grimmauld Place. If you were to return to my apartment, they would only come and get you. With the Ministry's help if they had to…"
Regulus slapped his brother's hands off him and stepped back. "No," he said simply. "I'm not going back to them. Sirius, you don't understand, Father will kill me. You didn't see him that night."
"Regulus—"
"I will not let you send me away with him again!"
His words hurt Sirius, who was remembering Orion dragging Regulus off Aberforth's lawn.
"You will be safe with them, Reggie," Sirius protested feebly. "And Father will certainly not kill you. If you could see how worried they've been looking for you."
"Shut up!" Regulus screamed. "Are you of all people really saying this? You, who once threatened to report our parents to the Ministry for child abuse, are telling me to go home with them? Let them lock me up again in that house until I'm ready to be married off?"
"Regulus, listen…"
"Fuck," Regulus hissed. "Maybe I should report them myself!"
Sirius's eyes widened briefly. "I'll deny it," he said quietly.
"What?" Regulus yelled in outrage. "I don't believe you!"
"There'd be no case without my testimony, Regulus, please don't make this any more difficult than it already is."
"I'm the one making things difficult?" Regulus demanded. "Sirius…I don't understand, why are you doing this?"
Sirius closed his eyes, a look of pain on his handsome face. "Regulus," he said quietly. "Please try to understand. This is what is best for you, I've come to realize that. I tried to play your parent and look what happened to you. The situation may not be…perfect, but our parents can give you everything you'll need. If you let them, they'll make sure you have the world."
"I don't want their money!" Regulus screamed. "I want to go with you!"
"Well you can't!" Sirius hollered back. "You stupid child, you can't come with me, you would only be miserable. Mother and Father would constantly be hounding you to come home anyway, and when you didn't, they'd cut you from your inheritance, like they did to me!"
"Sirius, I don't want their goddamn money! I want to be with you."
"What so you can end up like me? Dirt poor and miserable living in a one bedroom shack less than five miles from the house full of assets and opportunities that you used to have?"
Regulus paused. He couldn't believe Sirius of all people was saying these things. Had Father really gone through with his threat to completely and legally disown Sirius? And if so, had the loss of what finances he'd been surreptitiously siphoning from his inheritance truly hit Sirius that hard? Left him that bitter? Regulus didn't notice he was trembling until he felt León lay a warm arm across his shoulders to still him. "Shh," he murmured soothingly.
Regulus threw him off. "Don't try to stay out of this!" he insisted. "León, tell that idiot that I am not a child and that I know what I'm saying!"
León took a moment to choose his words carefully. "Staying in your parents' good graces could benefit you greatly, Regulus," he admitted.
"Fuck you!" Regulus spat. "And you," he rounded on Sirius again. "Didn't you say that living with them was going to buy me a one way ticket to either Azkaban or my own funeral?"
Sirius was wringing his hands. "I was being hyperbolic, Regulus," he insisted. "Do you know what hyperbole is? Listen to me, you can stay home and meet them halfway, Regulus, I know you can. You don't have to join Voldemort, and I'm sure Mother and Father won't try to force you into an arranged marriage or anything. They've seen what happens when they take you for granted, Reg, I really think they'd be willing to compromise a little. And I'll still be around! It's not as if you'll never see me again. You can still come around to visit me…spend enough time with me to keep your head on straight."
"Are you crazy?" Regulus screeched. "After you're just going to throw me back to them like this? Like hell would I ever come to visit the likes of you! You can just fuck off if this is how you're going to treat me. I don't ever want to see you again!"
Sirius looked very much like he might cry. "You don't mean that," he said.
"Yes," said Regulus. "I do." He felt like a strange weight was being lifted from him. Here it was, the moment he'd finally wanted. After so long, he was finally able to abandon Sirius, to utterly crush his brother, as Sirius had once done to him. It didn't feel good, necessarily, but it did feel therapeutic. Comparable to how he'd felt when he'd cut himself, actually.
"Regulus, I…"
"Sirius, shut the fuck up," Regulus snapped. When León opened his mouth, Regulus whirled around. "You stay out of this," he ordered.
Sirius looked like a kicked puppy.
"Go ahead and take me back to Grimmauld Place now, Sirius," Regulus said, grabbing his cloak and holding out his arm to his brother. "But remember this. You've ditched me twice now. So years down the line when you change your mind again and decide to pay attention to your real brother, just know that I won't be there. The next time you show up on my doorstep wanting to bond with me or some such bullshit, I want you to recall this moment, when I literally begged to go with you, and you told me no. Contrary to what you clearly believe, Sirius, I do not disappear when you don't think about me. Whenever you have better things to do than look after me, I am still there. I still exist when you close your goddamn eyes. Last time you came back into my life I let you, because I missed my brother, but you know what? I've grown somewhat and the next time you come around, I won't be so willing to go alone with you because I won't need you anymore."
Sirius stuttered something about Regulus not understanding, but Regulus ignored him.
"Quit babbling and do what you came here to do, you traitorous bastard."
Sirius actually took some convincing. He seemed desperate to reconcile with Regulus, but Regulus would not budge. For once, things were going to end on his terms. It was a good half an hour before Sirius finally relented and disapparated the two of them away. They arrived on the front porch of Grimmauld Place with a crack and Regulus immediately threw his brother off him.
Orion and Walburga had been expecting him, Regulus suspected Sirius had informed them that he would be bringing Regulus home. Bitterly, Regulus realized that that particular conversation had probably been when the decision to just give Regulus back to his parents had been made in the first place. Regulus resented being tossed back and forth like a Quaffle.
Regulus's parents greeted him with kisses and relieved touches, although the hug Regulus received from his father was less a hug and more a restraining hold, a show of dominance. Regulus gasped when he was finally released.
Walburga relented first and looked at Sirius. "I suppose you're waiting for some kind of reward, young man?" she asked with a sneer. Regulus supposed the both of his parents had gotten used to him being alive and well since León had spilled the news several days earlier, and therefore were less than inclined to be grateful to Sirius for returning their precious heir.
Sirius shuffled his feet a little. He was actually still waiting in vain for Regulus to give him some sign that their relationship had not been destroyed.
"No," Sirius answered. "I just wanted to say goodbye to—"
"Goodbye, you mudblood-loving, vile, shameful traitor," Regulus hissed. He slammed the front door in Sirius's face and Sirius didn't know which was worse, the look of pure, venomous hatred on his brother's face, or the slightly surprised yet proudly satisfied smirk on his father's.
Signed/tenkuroi