Evangelion: Purity's End

A post End of Evangelion fan fiction

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion. All rights are reserved for Hideaki Anno and Evangelion's respective creators. This is a work of fiction not canon and is in no way meant to supplement the actual film known as The End of Evangelion.

Part 2: Childhood's End

Chapter 10: The End of Shinji

"Shinji…Shinji…Shinji…why won't you open your eyes and face me?"…A ghostly whisper. "Shinji…Shinji…open your eyes and face me. Open your eyes and face me like you did when you fought me."

"I…I can't open my eyes."

"Can you not open your eyes because you can't or because you don't want to?"

"I don't want to open my eyes…I don't fight…I don't know what you're talking about."

"Let me help you…" I could feel a torrid gust of air, the sudden change in temperature made my bones ache. This smell…was it rotting flesh?

"No…I know who you are now. I don't want to open my eyes, especially if it's you! Why are you even talking to me? Angel's don't talk to humans! How are you even here? You're dead! I killed you! I…killed you…"

"Kill? You devour what you humans call the S2 engine and you expect me to be erased from existence?"

"Angel Zeruel?" I hesitated before I finally decided to pry open my eyelids. "Why am I here? Where am I?" All I remember is…that guy. "Those weird guys with the A.T. fields, who were they? You're an angel; you must know who they were!"

"Look around you…son of the King." Zeruel began flapping its arms, I could make out a faint red light come from his mask.

"Is this the Sea of LCL?" I asked while flailing my arms. "Why don't I have any clothes? This is weird!"

"Not quite. We are inside your core. The human core."

"Humans have cores?" I glanced at my chest for a moment, no glowing red protrusion as far as I could see. "Do all humans have cores? Jeez, I'm talking to an angel, I must be going insane." To think it took me this long to figure it out.

Zeruel extended one of its long pasta like arms and manipulated it to a narrow shape. He pointed it at my bare chest. "Do you remember what my brother, Angel Tabris, said to you?"

"Angel Tabris?" I asked puzzled, my eyes widened when I realized who this was. "You mean Kaworu?"

"All humans have an A.T. field. It just works a little differently for you. Your A.T. fields keep you together. Yet they keep you apart. Your fields act as a boundary entailing evolution and mass extinction."

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

"Don't you understand, Prince of the Lilin? Do you not understand what is going on with humanity at this very moment?"

"This is all so much. I mean…I think I understand it. I destroyed everyone's A.T. fields. But I gave them all the chance to return. How are these people able to produce A.T. fields to the extent of being just as powerful as an Eva's?" I could feel my steady pulse quickly change into rapid palpitations; I could feel the blood coursing through my veins like lava, what was this feeling?

"The heart, the human heart, that is the source of your A.T. fields. Without the heart or better yet, when a human being dies their A.T. field dies along with them. They join every other human in a nondescript limbo of nothingness."

"What…what's happening to me?! Why you?! Why can't Kaworu come to me?! Let me see him! Let me see Asuka! I hate talking about all this with you, it's weird!"

"You talk as if you get a choice in the matter." Zeruel extended its arms once more. They crept onto my body; they cradled me like a baby. "Zeruel, I am the symbol of strength among my brothers. Who better to give you strength than me? You need strength to accomplish your goals from now on."

"Goals…what would you know about my goals?"

"Those humans, the ones who label themselves the Children of the LCL, they are not what your world needs. Humans were not meant to use the A.T. fields the way they are…as a scare tactic. Humans were given a second chance, Ikari; don't allow it to die in vain."

"Why would you care? You're an angel. You tried to destroy humanity."

"It is obvious that humans were meant to be the dominant beings on Earth. We have lived on within the Evangelions and now we must die with them. You had the Fruit of Knowledge and now you must use this Fruit of Life."

"What is this Fruit of Life?"

"The Sweet Mother's Gift, as the other human's put it, a mutation from the LCL."

I rubbed my eyes and bit my upper lip before responding. "Do I have to be the savior of the human race again? Does it really have to be me? Why doesn't everyone have this…Sweet Mother's Gift?"

"This is because of resentment. Believe it or not, some people despise you for having reverted them back to a much less advanced form. As you said, while everyone might be happy in a world where everyone is everywhere, individuality is destroyed. No more families, no more friends, no more lovers. Even you realized this, when humans advanced to a point in existence where finding meaning in life was as simple as being in the company of other individuals, leaving it all behind was not as easy as you made it out to be. Would you have genuinely been happy without the presence of other individuals? Would you have been able to bear the weight of the human race on your shoulders like when you piloted the Evangelion? Now because of your nearsightedness, you must once again deal with this burden. If you really wish to find purpose in your life again, destroy them. Kill every single one of those humans to really give everyone else a second chance."

"Kill? You want me to kill those men?"

"This is your near sightedness again. You had no problem proclaiming that you wanted to kill them before when the life of your loved one was on the line."

I repeatedly began curling my hand into fist. "But…I'm just one kid. They're not the only other adults with the power of the A.T. fields. I have nothing! And I'm supposed to be dead! Those guys blew up the entire complex!"

"If you were supposed to be dead, you would have died when they attempted to feed you that poison. Your core is much stronger than you give it credit."

"What is the human core? Shouldn't that be the only way to defeat those guys, to destroy their cores?"

"Not even the King of the Lilin could figure this out. Not even the Fruit of Knowledge gave him the means to discover the true meaning behind the human A.T. fields. Your core, your A.T. field, it is all reliant on the human heart."

"I already know this! You said it to me yourself. How do I use the power? You want me to kill them right? Without the power of an A.T. field, I stand no chance."

"You had a very strong connection with your Evangelion, young Prince. Do you remember how you used it when you were a pilot?"

"Piloting isn't necessarily something I was good or bad at. It just came to me. Maybe it was that strong bond with Unit 1 that kept me safe."

"You don't have the soul of your mother to seek comfort in anymore. It is simply the desire to help others that will give you the power to use the field. It is the bond with that female pilot that kept you from dying when you swallowed that poison. This bond that you have with that female pilot, do you want to see it end like when you lost your mother?"

"No! I don't want to see it end!"

Zeruel released its embrace, allowing me fall into the abyss. "Then wake up Shinji, wake up Shinji, wake up Shinji, wake up, Shinji…Shinji wake up…Shinji…"

Wasteland Shanty Town

"Wake up already you damn freeloader!" Whose voice was this?

"A…Asuka?" I could barely speak.

"There you go again with that name. Asuka this, Asuka that, that's how it's been for the past three days! You know…you're lucky my daughter has taken a liking to you or I would have just shot you in that complex wreckage."

"Who are you?" I tried to move my arm to rub my eyes but I was too weak. I could make out the figure of a slightly overweight middle aged woman. Her clothes were tattered and she didn't look in the best of health.

"My name is Kazuko. I don't think this whole formality process is entirely necessary. I don't plan on having you here long." She reached into a drawer next to her and brought out what looked like to be a bottle of peroxide. "This might sting a little." Kazuko reached into her pocket and brought out a handful of cotton balls. She soaked them in peroxide. "Those wounds of yours need to be properly disinfected."

"I don't think putting peroxide on burns is going to-HELP!" She caught me off guard and pressed the cotton to my chest.

"Well that's too bad, all we have is peroxide. We used up all of our medical supplies on you. As you can see, we bandaged up your torso and cleaned up most of the burns. How you survived that explosion is beyond me. You should have been at least crushed by the rubble."

I winced a little before responding, "I'm sorry you used all of your supplies on me, you should have just left me to die. My name is Shinji."

She raised her hand to keep me from talking any further. "Everyone out here knows who you are. You have made quite the name here among the COTL and the Waste Dwellers."

"So…you're not one of them are you?"

"One of whom? A Child? Don't count us among that cult of lunatics using those fancy shield powers of theirs to coerce people into joining them. I'm just a Waste Dweller so you're pretty much out of luck."

"I need to find them…do you know where I can find them?"

"Why would you want to do that besides go on a journey to your own funeral? They want you dead Ikari, they want you dead for the sake of…um…hmmm…individuality I think."

"That name I kept screaming in my sleep, it's the name of my wife. I need to find out where they took her!"

She brought her hand slowly to her mouth and tried to hold back an obvious laugh. "Wait," she said. "You're telling me that you have a wife at this age? Better yet, you have a wife in general? This is the apocalypse for crying out loud. Soon my daughter's going to want to marry some 14 year old Waste Dweller yahoo just because the world has ended."

"I'm 15 now, and I'm no Waste Dweller-"

"Well you certainly aren't part of the COTL. There is no middle ground out here."

"Please…spare me the snarky comments. I just want to know where to go from here, I want to know where I am, and above all, I want to get that guy."

"Guy? You really should consider it an honor that Shunsui Ayanami left the safety of the catacombs just to kill you and take your…excuse me…wife!"

"That's his name! How do you know him?! You're not who you claim to be are you?!"

"Hah, please, if I was part of the COTL I wouldn't have bothered to dress your wounds and fix that broken ribcage of yours, I would have just killed you the moment I found you. Also, are you really that surprised that I know his name? Shunsui has a bigger name for himself out here than even you."

"Catacombs, you said something about catacombs right? Where can I find them? Where are these people hiding out at?"

Kazuko brought out what looked like a coffee stained piece of paper from her coat pocket. She brought it up close to her face and squinted her eyes. She lowered the paper in order to talk to me again. "I could tell you, and I should tell you. But, you must keep in mind that you are the public enemy out here in the Wastes. What's in it for me if I were to give you this map? It wouldn't be much use to you anyway considering you need a vehicle to get there if you don't want to spend days or weeks wandering aimlessly around the Wastes. But hey, that would get you out of my hair. Or…I could take you to the Children myself, as a prisoner of course. You'd get what you'd want and I'd get paid for bringing in the enemy."

"What are you getting at? I just want to save the life of a loved one! She might die because I can't haggle with you right now!"

"Rule number one of the Wastes, Shinji, it's all about interest. There is nothing personal when it comes to matters like these, it is strictly business. If you want to survive out in the Wastes, you have to learn about these kinds of things."

"What do you mean survive? You aren't even giving me a choice in the matter!" Suddenly, there was a sharp pang in my abdominal area. I clutched my side.

"Try not to force yourself too much. You can't keep up like that for much longer."

"You're making jokes about handing me over to some maniacs for compensation and you expect me to be calm and not force myself?!"

"You are a hazard to us here, Shinji. The townspeople will not have it. You are a danger to us all and you must leave, but we also know how to handle business with the Children. You can rest assured that if they were to find out, Shunsui would send one of his Ayanami's and a gang of thugs to kill us all. Harboring you here is a dangerous move on our behalf; in fact, I wanted to kill you on principle, but Mizuki would not stand for it. That is why taking you to the Children ourselves will give us less flack."

"You…you aren't any different from them are you? None of you are. You and your people want me dead for what I did. I'm not proud of the things I've done and the people I've hurt, I'm just trying to make up for everything, for being such an idiot as my wife would say."

Kazuko sighed, "You're not the same Shinji I remember. You aren't scrawny, you aren't cowardly, and you are trying to atone for your sins through penance."

"People change; shouldn't this be enough to prove to you that I can handle myself? Do you hate me this much?"

"I don't hate you. No Waste Dweller hates you Shinji. I think what you did was admirable. It was the most selfish selfless act any human could have committed themselves to. I am just a fervent believer that turning everyone into jelly and causing another Impact created a serious imbalance. The COTL reign supreme over the wasteland with their oppressive ways."

"Let me make things right! Please just give me one chance to do something about them! It is like you said…I created this imbalance and now I must fix everything that has gone wrong with the world."

"Don't be ridiculous. What could you possibly do to stop the Children? You think you'll be able to touch Shunsui? You don't even have an A.T. field strong enough to touch him. I bet he could send his weakest Ayanami after you and you would die a quick and senseless death."

"We'll never know if we don't give him a chance! Mother, have you been scaring our guest?!" Who was that?

"Mizuki," said Kazuko. "What are you doing in here? I thought I asked you to stay out of the house while I sorted things out with him!"

"You're going to send him to the Children aren't you?" asked the girl. "I just know it! You can't bear the thought of killing him in front of me so you're going to take him to the Children and get paid for having them kill him!"

"This is a much more complicated situation than you could imagine, Mizuki. You know who he is right?"

"Yeah, he's Shinji Ikari. He's the boy you planned to get the slip on and steal his food before the Children beat you to the punch. This whole business mentality hasn't made you many friends out here, mom."

"We needed that food to survive, we-"

"What makes you any different than the Children, mom?!"

"Bah, you dress the rest of his wounds, I need a cigarette."

Kazuko left the room in a huff. It looks like the only one who could really get under her skin was her own daughter. I peered at her from under the sheets. She looked older than me and Asuka by about two years, I could tell by her figure. She looked nothing like that beast Kazuko. She had a youthful spirit to her and her clothes weren't as worn as Kazuko's. There was something about her that just struck me as fascinating (besides the whole schoolgirl outfit when she was supposed to be the daughter of a Waste Dweller, then again, these were the first Waste Dweller's I have come across). I couldn't help but stare at the single beauty mark under her left eye; she began to blush when she noticed I was so fixated on her looks.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mizuki was it?" I asked "Thank you for having my back and everything. I know it probably wasn't easy and all, standing up to your mother and for the sake of a complete stranger. I know I would have never had the nerve to stand up to my father." I chuckled at myself. Hah, nerve, this wasn't the place to be thinking of lame puns.

She smiled faintly, "Don't mention it okay, it's the least I could do for you. I'm sorry if you and my mom got off on the wrong foot. She can just be a little overbearing and protective."

"It's really no problem," I said. "What I would give to have a protecting parent like your mother."

"I know Shinji, everyone does. I know all about you and your father and how you piloted the Eva. My mom likes to keep me in the dark about most of the details but after having come out of the Sea of LCL, I know more about you than I would have liked."

"Oh…I'm sorry?"

She laughed at this, "Hah, don't be. You are a pretty fascinating guy, Shinji. Every Waste Dweller completely understands how it was for you. Having to face all these problems and having no outlet for all these pent up emotions. Any normal human would have gone insane, it is quite admirable really."

I sighed, "Don't say that. What I did was nothing short of cowardly and pathetic. What's to say I'm not completely insane at this very moment?"

"I see you're no stranger to self-deprecation. Why don't you try living the life of a hedonist once in a while instead of constantly having to correct yourself? You know, there are some things in your life that were completely out of your control."

"You really think so?"

"Of course I think so!" Mizuki stamped her foot. "I think it is totally unfair that you give yourself the role of your own worst enemy! When all else fails Shinji, when there is nothing left to do, blame someone else."

"That really doesn't appeal to me, Mizuki. It's not that I like to blame myself for everything, it's just that…"

"What? Don't tell me that society has trained you to think that besides yourself everyone else is perfect?! Do you really think that, Shinji?"

"Well…"

"Well nothing, Shinji. Here, how about a visual aid. You and your father were not on good terms with each other right? Just imagine everyone in the world as your father and you can be perfectly normal as you are."

"Ugh, that's impossible."

"What?"

I smiled, "If everyone else in the world looked like my father, we wouldn't have pretty girls like you around anymore."

Mizuki blushed, "Shinji…you're not trying to flirt with me are you?"

I laughed at this, "Sorry, if I were to do that, my wife would castrate me."

Her eyes widened at this comment. "Wife? Don't tell me you and that redheaded bitch-"

"Well I wouldn't go that far."

She lowered her gaze, "I'm sorry…that must have slipped. I just…I know all about her."

"It's alright. I have been numb to comments like that even before Impact. My best friends used to criticize me for my fondness of her."

"I know it probably isn't proper to form opinions of people until you actually get to know them but you can't tell me you are completely accepting of all her qualities, right? I mean, you don't think she might be a little conceited, smug, or arrogant do you? And if you answer no, I am just going to flat out assume that my hypothesis of you being completely accepting of everyone except yourself is true."

"Well you know what they say about assuming right?"

"What do they say about assuming?"

"It makes an ass out of you and me."

She laughed ferociously at this, "Oh God. I walked right into that one. I thought I heard the last of that when my school teachers turned into jelly. You want to know something, Shinji?"

"What?"

"You're a lot more human than I would have imagined you."

I gave her a puzzled look, "Well, I don't know how to take that."

"You've changed from the person you were before. What I'm trying to say is that, you aren't as bad as I thought you would be. Sorry, I forgot you weren't good with people. But how do you put up with her? I would go nuts if she was my wife, not that I'm a lesbian or anything."

I chuckled at this, "I'm not one to judge proclivities or anything, Mizuki."

"Damn right you're not!" She turned beet red, her expression was laughable. "There's no proclivity to judge! Besides, it's obvious you have a penchant for redheads with little redeeming value."

This triggered something inside me, "Mizuki, please…no more. I can go on and on about the mistakes I've made in life. It will get me nowhere with a girl like you. We'll just end up having a roundabout argument about hedonism or something else. Be honest with me, and yourself. Do you honestly believe that marrying Asuka was the worst thing I have or will ever do? Can you full heartedly say I can just erase everything I've done in the past now of all times?"

Mizuki stared at me for a second with a fascinated expression of shock. She didn't give me a word or a signal that everything was fine. I was afraid that maybe my words had truly gotten to her. "Hey…listen, Shinji. I am going to have to apologize to you. I guess those romance novels I have been reading for fun have been getting to me. You may not like it, but I admire you, I really do. I may not be able to sit here and tell you that marrying that Asuka girl or falling for her is a mistake but I can tell you that I delivered my message poorly. I know it might be difficult for you to understand this, but everything that you have done up until now can be rebuilt from the ground up. I realize that this is all completely on you, but change is just a matter of you accepting yourself for who you are at this very moment."

"How can I accept myself for who I am at this very moment if I wasn't even able to save the one I love?"

"Shinji, this isn't just about her anymore! What do YOU want?"

"What I want is to be happy!"

"So killing those men will make you happy?"

"It's not like that! Stop twisting things already! All these things, having to kill those men, this was never a part of my plan. I want to be happy with Asuka."

Mizuki pouted, I was honestly feeling kind of bad. "I feel like you, all I can do is keep apologizing to you right now. I don't want to say you are right either because I don't necessarily agree with your ideologies, I feel like my mother. I guess I am too much of hedonist, there is just so much more to life than you think Shinji. You are missing out on it by demonizing yourself."

"There is nothing I have left, Mizuki. All I have is Asuka."

"Shinji, love is a good thing, for you anyway. But you have to consider this, are you trying to save her because love, above all, is the most important thing in your life? Or are you trying to save her because the relationship between you two is the only thing giving you a sense of identity?"

"I do love her, I really do. But you have to realize that as her husband, I have an obligation to bring her back!"

"You don't have an obligation to anyone! Stop using pretexts to mask your motives, Shinji. This is the apocalypse; you are no longer tied down to familial obligations."

I sunk back in bed, "Leave me be please."

"What?"

"Please, I can't take you right now. You say there are no familial obligations anymore but you yourself commit yourself to the relationship with your mother."

She lowered her gaze, "If you only knew. What can I do to help you? What can I do to prove to you?"

I gazed at the ceiling, "For now, let me be. But if you really stand by your convictions, nurse me back to health unbeknownst to your mother. When I am healed, steal your mother's map so I may find the COTL."

She sighed, "At least let me come with you, so I may prove to you that I am not tied down to familial obligations like you claim I am."

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"Then stop asking me to do things that are out of my power. Let me come with you, or let yourself be taken to your death!"

Chapter 11: Coming Soon! Hope you enjoyed the previous chapter!

A/N: Sorry I took a little bit of a longer hiatus than I anticipated. I hope the first chapter of part 2 was to your guys' liking!