A/N:
Sup people! Sorry for not updating yesterday, but I was watching movies and thinking about going through a new phase. I'm kinda sick of life a little because it just backstabs me. So on with the story because there is a little surprise for some reviewers that suggested this idea (hint, hint!)
How To Piss Off the Akatsuki
"Okay, Leader-sama, what did you call us for?" Sakura asked boredly. She was trying to sit down, but the bruises from the last prank didn't go so well, maybe it did, but still!
"Well we got a new recruit well just a renewal person. Come and show yourself!" Pein ordered and then a pale-looking snake person came out. He wore an Akatsuki robe and his eyes looked like he was raping you in his mind. Sakura and the others were shocked to see him hear.
"AHHH! The pedo-snake is back! Run for your lives!" Sakura screamed and ran out of the meeting room. The others anime sweat-dropped at her reaction.
"Well that was uncalled for," Pein answered.
"'Pedo-snake'?,un? That was hilarious!" Deidara burst out laughing and clutched his stomach in pain. Orochimaru, in humiliation, went to sit in an emo corner. Kisame was trying to get something in an air vent.
"Almost got it! Almost…got.. !" Sakura came up from behind and bumped him. His upper body had gotten stuck in the air vent. Sakura immediately took off into some hallway, leaving Kisame flailing like a fish. Itachi passed by and stopped at Kisame. He bent down and nudged Kisame.
"Hey who is that?" Kisame's muffled voice yelled from the air vent.
"Kisame, why are you stuck in the air vent?" Itachi asked in a monotone voice.
"Umm.. well you see I heard something in the airvent and then someone-"
"Nevermind I don't wanna know," Itachi muttered and walked off.
"Itachi? Itaachiii? You there? Someone help me!"
"Man I was going to fucking sacrifice that fucking-" Hidan stopped when Sakura pointed somewhere and he looked at the direction. While he was looking, Sakura bonked him on the head. "Ow! What the fuck was that for?"
"You are annoying the hell out of me," Sakura seethed and she walked away.
"Stupid pink-haired bitch".
"What was that?"
"I said "Stupid-" Sakura hit him and he went through Orochimaru's wall. She looked in and it was filled with pictures of Sasuke. Sakura shuddered and ran off with horrid mental pictures of Orochimaru's room.
"ACHOO!" everyone was sick with the flu, except Sakura and Sasori, and they were bed-ridden.
"Help me! I don't want to get sick," Sasori plead to Sakura. Sakura sighed and fumbled through her bag. She took out meat shaped like beef jerky.
"Eat this, it's called ling-ling," Sakura gave the jerky looking meat to Sasori and he ate it cautiously.
"What is it?"
"I'll give you a hint (I got this from My Wife and Kids) it's from a panda. The panda boy only has one of it".
"A panda- chew chew- boy- chew chew- only one of it- 0_o" Sasori spit out the remaining meat out of his mouth.
"Well at least you're system is going to get stronger," Sakura smiled sheepishly.
"You better run, if you wanna live that is," Sasori had a dark aura around him.
"Eep!" Sakura dashed away, hoping she won't die young.
While everyone was in their room sleeping, Deidara came out and went to the living room with spray paint. He was grinning deviously while cans of spray was used.
In the morning…
"!" Pein screamed angrily at the sight. Their on the living room wall was their name is spray paint. It was spelled 'Akutsuki' not 'Akatsuki'. The others came in and gasped at this.
"Who did this?" Pein demanded.
"Tobi did it. He is the retarded one and he can't spell too!" Sakura lied and pointed to Tobi.
"What Tobi is a good boy! Tobi is- AHHH!" Tobi ran off with Pein and the others close behind. Sakura and Deidara was going to do a hi-five, but Deidara missed and whacked her in the face. Her face was turning beet red and she punched him and he smashed in a wall.
"I'm not paying that!" Kakuzu hollered while counting his money.
"Hidan!" Sakura yelled. Hidan walked slowly to Sakura and glared.
"What?"
"Hit the top of my fist," Sakura instructed.
"Can I hit it hard?"
"Yeah," Hidan grinned and hit her fist really hard. By the force, Sakura used the hit to wheel her arm around and hit Hidan's head fast. He fell to the ground unconscious.
"Don't try that again," Sakura said and walked away.
The Akatsuki went to a beach one sunny day. Kisame and the others, except Itachi who was reading, Pein who was watching them, Orochimaru who was chasing kids, and Konan who was sunbathing, were in the water.
"Kisame!"
"Yes, Pinky?"
"I see your wife!"
"What do you mean?" Sakura pointed behind him and he turned around. A great white shark was heading to Kisame fast. "!" Kisame was swimming frantically to shore, but the shark was too fast. The shark bit him and pulled him under. The others watched with amusement at the scene.
"Don't they just make a wonderful couple, un?" Deidara smirked and they snickered.
"!" Kisame was thrown up and onto Itachi. If you looked to the side, they were kissing again.
"See I knew you guys were gay!" Sakura exclaimed.
"Kisame-kun cheated on Kisame-kun's wife!" Tobi yelled and broke into tears. Everyone sweatdropped, except Itachi and Kisame who was gagging.
"SAKURA/DEIDARA!" Itachi and Kisame yelled simultaneously.
A/N:
Some of the ideas were from WheatherKiryn. Hope you like it. I'm going to try to practice doing things and continue my phase. Plz review!