The intro for the Total Drama 60 Club aftermath began, with 4 clips:
"OK, Sierra's cool," Mark said in the confessional. "She's got so much energy!"
The second clip began, in the Terminator's kitchen.
"On it, hot stuff!" Ezekiel said.
"It's working!" Kim said in the confessional.
The third clip began, at the common area of the cooking challenge.
"Ooh, here's a juicy one!" Chris said. "'Mark, how dare you eliminate DJ! He was my favorite! You are so dropped!' They gave you a zero."
"What?!" replied the Screaming Gophers V2.
The 4th clip began, in 2nd class.
"If you agree not to go after us and ally with us," Mark said, "you will become the most powerful players in the game."
"Welcome to Total Drama 60 Club Aftermath!" Heather said. "We've got all sorts of surprises in store for you today!"
"The Total Drama jumbo jet has hit a serious patch of turbulence in the game," Alejandro said, "and with it, we have gotten so much drama, and lost Vladimir, Courtney, Dawn, Scott, Scarlett, Jo, Justin, and the big shocker, Zoey!"
"40 are still in it to win a billion bucks! We're coming up on the first merge, where we're going down to 5 teams!"
"And we've got a special surprise for 5 of our losers. We'll see that in a few moments."
"For now, let's welcome our first guest! He introduced himself as NOT related to Putin, is a third cousin of Sierra, won 25 million rubles on TV in Russia, and mixed up kale and seaweed, it's Vladimir!" The crowd applauded as Vladimir walked onto the stage.
"What up my people?" Vladimir said, sitting down in the hot seat.
"Welcome to the show, Vladimir!" Heather said. "Sadly, your winnings do not go up."
"It's cool. I'm rich as fuck already, yo! I won the Russian version of Total Drama, and that's how I got on."
"Russian version?"
"Well, it's mostly for Siberia, and I was the only guy that came from west of the Ural Mountains. In 3 seasons. They tried to have one season where they tried to have guys from the east on one team and guys from the west on the other, but they couldn't get enough guys from the west. Yeah, Total Drama isn't very well loved in western Russia, and they picked me to try to earn viewership. Except, I got voted out in 6 episodes!"
"Yeah, sort of defeats the purpose of picking you. And you were Chris' idea, as was the trick that got you voted out! How does that feel?"
"Chris is a weird man. And I mean SERIOUSLY weird."
"Well, duh, it's Chris! Anyway, I don't feel too ashamed about how I got voted out. It was clearly labeled Seaweed. Seaweed and Kale look very similar! It was really mostly bad luck. I would have preferred Mark to drop instead of me, but as I said, he deserves to stay in the game. He's a great strategist, a total warrior, and I think he'll do well in this game!"
"Anyway, let's get to a segment of," Alejandro said, "That's Going to Leave a Mark!"
"But no one got hurt!" Vladimir said.
"We'll just see about that! Roll clip!"
The first clip was in the Terminator's kitchen.
"Attention, cooks!" Chris yelled over the PA, causing Raaheel to splash boiling oil on her face, and scream in pain.
"Fuck me, that is hot!" Raaheel screamed, dousing herself in cold water.
The next few clips were at the field at the football practice challenge. All of the clips involved Eva blasting her opponents up. In total, there were 4 clips of this.
The 6th clip was Sierra throwing Tyler at LeShawna in the Oklahoma drill. The 7th was Eva blasting Sierra in the sumo drill, ending the clips.
"Yeah, not a very physical set of episodes," DJ commented.
"It's only going to get worse, you know," Topher noted.
"Had you won the billion," Heather said, "what would you have used it for?"
"Help my family move to Germany," Vladimir replied, "and then put it in a savings account. But I think we'll get to Germany anyway. We've still got the 10 million rubles I won from the Russian version, and the 15 million I won elsewhere."
"How do you get on so many shows?"
"My dad has connections. I'll leave it at that. Anyway, when I get back to Russia, I've been invited to appear on another quiz show, The Weakest Link! The grand prize is 50 million rubles, but no one ever wins it. The premise is that the host asks questions to all the contestants, and if they get it right, they go up the money ladder, and have to try to bank as much money as possible, with someone getting voted out at the end of each round. Then, when 2 are left, they each get 5 questions, and whoever gets more of them right wins everything in the bank. Anyway, no team has ever gotten all 2 million rubles, because there's always at least one idiot that fucks everything up; the guy who gets voted out first."
"Hm," Alejandro said. "Interesting. Back to Total Drama, how does it feel knowing that you were eliminated by just one vote? One more vote against Mark, and you would have least forced a tiebreaker!"
"Mark didn't deserve to drop. He deserved to stand on the trap doors, yes, but not to drop. I lost the challenge, and Courtney was, really, just being a bitch. I don't blame LeShawna for what she did, and Courtney deserved to drop. We all know that Lindsay's not the brightest bulb on the tree, but she's nice, kind, and overall a good person. And flipping out at her for trying to find pizza dough? That's a common mistake if you haven't made pizza before!"
"But he eliminated DJ!" Duncan said. "He's awesome! And Mark even confirmed it!"
"Mark's just playing the game! After all, if I were in a game of this nature with a popular player, I would see him as a threat, too. I didn't want to be a manipulator and play anyone until later on, to stay under the radar, but it looks like I'm out. Dang. Still, if Mark's not careful, he'll be gone real fast."
"Let's hear it for Vladimir!" Heather said. "Take your place in the peanut gallery!" The audience clapped as Vladimir went to the peanut gallery.
"Our next guest," Alejandro said, "was a CIT, is one of the most hated by the fans, and got thrown out of a window! Courtney!" The crowd cheered as Courtney entered the stage.
"I thought for sure they were going to boo me!" Courtney said, sitting in the hot seat.
"You'll see in a moment why the crowd was happy," Heather said, with a devious smirk. "And when you do, there will be fireworks! It's time for a segment of Live From the Confessional!" The crowd cheered. "Our guests from on board the plane, it's the Tripartite Alliance, Lindsay, Beth, and Tyler!"
"Tripartite Alliance?!" Courtney said, angrily.
"Mmm-hmm," Lindsay said, smirking. "Hello, Courtney. Congratulations on being our first victim."
"Victim? Of Lindsay?!"
"Yep," Beth said. "We are the Tripartite Alliance. We've been hiding out, acting dumb, waiting for this billion-dollar season!"
"How did you know this would happen?" Alejandro asked.
"My friend's cousin works at the network," Beth replied. "Me and Lindsay came up with a plan to increase our popularity, giving us immense power in the billion-dollar season. Then, Lindsay fell for Tyler, and he got added to the plan."
"Originally," Tyler said, "I tried to be clumsy, so he wouldn't be seen as a threat, and win Total Drama Island. I'm actually one of the best athletes in BC, but everyone only knows my last name."
"We were going to eliminate Justin," Lindsay said, "but then I made the mistake of looking for pizza dough. You called me out on it, and I had to jump at the chance to throw you out."
"YOU!" Courtney said. "IF I WERE STILL IN, I'D HAVE YOU GONE!"
"But you're not!"
"OK, I seriously hope we don't have another Sugar," DJ said. The camera cut to Sugar, who was in a straitjacket.
"Yeah, that would SUCK," Amy said. "My face is too perfect! I can't take another hit! And I can't even blame this on Samey!"
"You do know that's why you got cut first, right?" Rodney said.
"Oh, yeah…"
"Anyway, Courtney-"
"NO MORE QUESTIONS!" Courtney yelled, storming off to the peanut gallery.
"OK then," Alejandro said. "Our next guest-"
"WAIT!" Courtney said. "I've got a little song for Lindsay!"
"This could be fun!" Heather said.
"Duncan, hit it!"
"Sure thing, princess!" Duncan said.
A/N: To the tune of "Her Real Name Isn't Blaineley"
Courtney: Here's a little song for the game's most popular player!
Lindsay: That's me!
Courtney: Whose fans will surely turn on her and become her biggest haters!
Beth: Really?
She's a nasty, fake blonde schemer
Who thinks she's got a chance
But if I were still in the game
Her alliance would be dead!
All: Hey!
Lindsay: Really? Verbatim?
Courtney: I don't know how she wants to pull it off
Tyler: And we're keeping it that way!
Courtney: She played dumb for so long she slapped blondes right in the mouth!
All: Hey!
Lindsay: But now, I'm a tactical genius!
Courtney: She forged half of her report cards
So you think she failed everything
But seeing through the lies were my lawyers
For a four point oh, she's on the brink!
All: Hey!
Courtney: They're not the people you think they are, and though this may seem really far
They've got a sphere of influence, and his real name isn't Tyler!
All: Hey!
Courtney: They're as evil as 3 Heathers, and his real name isn't Tyler
They've got dirty tricks up their sleeves, and his real name isn't Tyler…
It's Parker!
All: Hey!
A/N: Name of song (predictably enough): His Real Name Isn't Tyler
"Well, who's going to believe you?" Beth asked, with a smirk on her face. "We've got them all fooled, and you look like the game's biggest bitch! Unless you ask Sammy, in which case, you take silver. We all know who takes gold in her book."
"Oh, shut up," Amy replied, crossing her arms.
"And our sphere of influence is enough to destroy everyone! We rule the game!"
"Did you really think anyone could be as dumb as I acted?" Lindsay asked. "Who forgets the difference between push and pull? And furthermore, who forgets the name of their own boyfriend?!"
"Damn right," Tyler said. "All scripted out. And now, we've got an easy run to the billion."
"Toodles!" Lindsay said. The connection to the confessional was cut.
"Well, that was… strange…" Heather said.
"Anyway," Alejandro said, "our next guest was framed for stealing from everyone when she debuted, knows as much as Sierra about everyone, and is said to be able to read people like a picture book. It's Dawn!" The crowd cheered as Dawn walked onto the stage.
"And we're going to quickly kick this up a notch!" Heather said. "Dawn, it's Truth or Explosion!" The intro sequence for Truth or Explosion played, with the statue getting covered in garbage.
"I'm sensing a lot of dark energy from that device in front of me," Dawn said.
"I'm not surprised," Alejandro said. "If you lie, that thing will explode, and cover you, and everyone here, in trash!" The crowd gasped. "Yes, even the audience! Oh, the janitor will not like this!"
"It's OK. I won't lie."
"So, Dawn," Heather said, "back in Revenge of the Island, you predicted the future a few times. Why haven't you done so in 60 Club?"
"Haven't had a good time to," Dawn replied. Alejandro ducked, but the trash bomb didn't explode.
"Huh, guess that was true!" Alejandro said. "Before we continue, I want you to write your prediction for who's going home at the next elimination, and put it in this envelope. If you get it right, I'll give you a hundred bucks." Alejandro handed Dawn a pencil, paper, and envelope, and Dawn wrote someone down, putting the paper in the envelope, and sealing it, before handing it back to Alejandro. "Anyway, Dawn, have you ever considered playing strategically in the game, or using your aura reading powers to further yourself?"
"Yes, I have." The crowd gasped. "What? If you had the abilities I have, you'd use them, too! I wouldn't use it to target anyone, but I would use it to find anyone evil in this game, or to get someone to do better in challenges. Scott left me no room to work in Revenge of the Island, and invincibility statues, real or fake, have no aura. Ultimately, I was doomed as soon as I was caught in Scott's crosshairs. And I sense that my elimination was also played strategically by someone, but I don't think it was Mark."
"Well, you're right," Heather said. "Roll clip!"
The clip was in 5th class, with Gen 46.
"Hey, Jasmine," Eva whispered.
"Yeah?" Jasmine replied, also whispering.
"If you want to stay in the game, vote for Dawn tonight. Scott's trying to get Dawn eliminated, and you're in hot water for blowing it in the gauntlet back on the field. I've got my alliance voting for Scott. Vote for Dawn, and you should avoid the bottom 2."
"Got it." Eva then walked to 6th class, where he found Kim.
"Hey, Kim," Eva whispered.
"Yeah?" Kim asked.
"If you want to stay in the game, vote for Dawn tonight. People remember the last one to quit in these sorts of drills. You can ask Sierra if you want. Anyway, Scott's trying to get Dawn eliminated, and you're in hot water for blowing it at the end of practice. I've got my alliance voting for Scott. Vote for Dawn, and you should avoid the bottom 2."
"Got it," Kim replied.
The crowd gasped at the footage, while Dawn seemed unfazed.
"And guess who Eva's dating?" Lightning said. "Sha-Mark!"
"The fruit never falls too far from the tree," Dawn commented. "But I can tell, just from the clip, that she did it out of worry for Mark's safety in the game."
"Correct, girl!" Duncan said. "I already saw the clips, and Eva did it to make sure you wouldn't backstab Mark, not to mention the rest of Bermuda Square."
"There will be no Live From the Confessional segment here, though," Heather said, "because Eva refused to comment."
"I guess Eva doesn't want us setting her up with another boy!" Alejandro joked, causing a bit of laughter. "Well, I wish her and Mark many happy years together. Anyway, Dawn, how does it feel being tied with Scott for the second victim of the self-named Bermuda Square?"
"Not much different than if I was eliminated without being a victim," Dawn said. "It's a little disappointing, but oh well, I'd probably get thrown out later on, because eventually, Bermuda Square's gonna have to turn on their sphere of influence."
"Even you've gotten the term? How did it spread so fast?" Alejandro asked.
"SeahawkLover12 logic."
"That makes sense. But at least he's more realistic than whoever dealt with All Stars and Pahkitew Island. How did I make the merge there? I'm one of the most diabolical players in the game! And why didn't Mal try anything in Revenge of the Island? Honestly, people! And don't get me started on the bullshit they had in Pahkitew Island! Even with all the explanations SeahawkLover12 can create, he can't think of anything to tie up those loose ends."
"Uh, try not breaking the fourth wall?" Heather said. "Honestly, SeahawkLover12 is just venting. FROM YOUR MOUTH."
"Oh, alright! At least he was able to nail the Sierra thing in All Stars. Drugs: the answer to everything!" The crowd laughed at my- I mean Alejandro's very well-written joke.
A/N: Dammit Alejandro! Stop messing with me, or I'll start calling you "Al."
"Anyway," Alejandro said, "I'm out of ammunition. You got anything, Heather?"
"Nope. Let's give it up for Dawn, who did not get garbage on you!" The crowd cheered, as Dawn headed for the peanut gallery. "Our next guest was the cause of Dawn's first elimination, known for causing more intentional losses than any other contestant on Total Drama, eliminated in the final 4 episode in both Revenge of the Island and All Stars, and tied for second victim of Bermuda Square with Dawn. Let's give it up for Total Drama's favorite, and only, dirt farmer, Scott!" The crowd cheered as Scott walked onto the stage.
"So this is what it feels like to be on the receiving end of coercion," Scott said.
"A feeling you've needed to feel for a long time," Dawn commented. "In fact, I'M the one who put you in their crosshairs."
"This'll be fun!" Heather said. "Roll clip!"
The clip was in the confessional.
Both Mark and Dawn were in the confessional, sitting side by side. "So," Mark said, "I assume that review confirmed your suspicions."
"Yes, it did," replied Dawn. "But you're playing it off as someone trying to take you out."
"Yep. Mainly because I've got you in my alliance, and the former members of the coalition are staying quiet. Anyway, to keep you quiet, I want you to choose who we take out next, Dawn. We'll do it by framing them for eliminating DJ."
"Lying? That sounds wrong…"
"You want a billion dollars to help out the earth or not? Think of how many trees you could plant, or the sort of animal sanctuary you could make. Heck, you could open a park with that sort of money!"
"Well, I guess I'll have to drop… Scott. He framed me for stealing in season 4!"
"I don't blame her," Scott said. "I guess I was a little evil in Revenge of the Island."
"Sure, a little," Topher commented.
"Well, compared to me and Heather, it's only a little," Alejandro mentioned.
"Legitimate," Scott noted. "But this time, you were the first two voted off!"
"Anyway, Scott, how does it feel being the tied with Dawn for second victim of Bermuda Square?"
"Careful what you say!" Topher said. "I don't want trash on me!"
"What are you talking about?"
"There's a trash bomb in front of you," Heather replied. "If you lie, it explodes, and everyone gets covered in trash. From the cooking challenge."
"OK then," Scott replied. "Not like it would be much different from home. Heck, m house is basically a trash bomb! Anyway, my answer? Whatever. I might have deserved getting kicked out."
"Do you even know what Bermuda Square is?"
"Yep. Mark, Eva, Sierra, Cody, and their sphere of influence. Zoey told me. I probably should have gotten one. Then, maybe I'd still be on that plane! My strategy in the game, though, never called for a sphere of influence."
"Yes, we saw everything," Max said.
"You were harsh, boy," Anne Maria added.
"I know," Scott said. "That was the strategy. Lose, and pin it on someone else."
"Or in my case, frame me," Dawn remarked.
"You were too smart! That's why you got dropped by Eva this time."
"At least she didn't frame me."
"But she did engage in coercion. And lying."
"Not all lying and coercion in equal. Some is more major than others."
"True," Alejandro said. "Anyway, Scott, had you won, what would you have done with the money?"
"Two words: better house. After that, I don't know."
"Why not spend some of it on nature?" Dawn said.
"Or style?" Anne Maria said.
"Or animals?" DJ said.
"Or EVIL?" Max said.
"Point taken," Scott said.
"Was the strategy you had in Revenge of the Island at work in this game?" Heather asked.
"No. They'd figure me out instantly if I tried it before we got to 2 teams. I have a reputation, and with that many teams, it's clear if someone's throwing the challenge. Had I made it to the 2 team stage, I might have tried throwing a challenge or two, but it never could have gotten to the point it did in Revenge of the Island, especially with Tobias and Bermuda Square around."
"Huh, I'd expect him to set off the bomb, you know?" Alejandro remarked.
"I would have expected it too, if I were you. I'm Scott! I'm like you and Heather; a liar, a traitor, someone who wants to take out his competition. We just have different methods. But now, we're all out. I bet they'll be here soon, too."
"OK, you know what?" Heather said. "We're not mining much drama out of these guys! I mean, honestly, this whole season has sucked for us so far! We've just been picking off old manipulators, and 2 guys were voted off because they lost the challenge! Not one breakup, not one fall of an alliance, nothing! The main show is RULING us! If we don't get some dirt, we're gonna get fired!"
"Well, I don't think we'll get much out of Scarlett and Jo!" Alejandro said. "One was ANOTHER alliance victim, and the other was eliminated because everyone was scared of her! Honestly, all the drama stays in the game! Anyway, I'm sure we'll have more to work with later on. And we neeed to get to our surprise! Why don't we have some fun with Zoey? We get Kim up there, show her a voting chart, she'll squirm enough to blast the ratings to the top!"
"Sure! Our next guest went to the final 3 twice, making her the only contestant other than me to do so, has never been voted out normally, and is considered one of the nicest and most loved players in the game. It's Zoey!" The crowd applauded as Zoey walked onto the stage.
"So, Zoey," Alejandro asked, "what do you think got you voted out?"
"My final 3 appearances," Zoey replied. "But I don't know how I got voted in the sort of episode I was voted out in!"
"Maybe this will answer your question! Roll clip!"
The clip was in the hot tub room at Playa des Losers
"So, who are we going to chip off first?" Mark asked.
"I say we go for LeShawna!" Sierra said. "She is on great terms with the Tripartite Alliance."
"I mean from the Anti-Manipulator Alliance! We need to weaken them!"
"What about Katie or Sadie?" Cody said. "If one of them falls, they'll break like Sierra without me!"
"True," Kim said. "Anyway, he's right, but maybe we could go for a tougher target now. They're only going to get tougher as the game goes on and we lose votes to use!"
"True," Cody replied. "And Zoey's probably the strongest link on that alliance. She's loved by the rest of the cast, and she's one of the most physically able players in the game! I mean, she up and won All Stars, and nearly won Revenge of the Island! She has never failed to make the final 3!"
"You're right!" Mark replied. "Maybe I could have gone for her instead of DJ in episode 3…"
"Cody's got a point," Eva said. "Zoey's almost as tough as me!"
"So we're plotting Zoey's elimination now?" Kim said.
"Yep," Sierra replied.
"So I was voted off by a jock again?" Zoey said.
"Well, his attitude doesn't really fit the part," DJ commented, "but yes. Welcome to the club, Zoey."
"At least it wasn't Scott that did it," Jo noted, as she, Scarlett, and Justin walked onto the stage. "So, at least you can say you were blindsided."
"Tell it to Mark!" Heather said. "It's time for Live From the Confessional!" The screen deployed, with Mark on the screen in the confessional.
"Oh yay, I have to talk to another of my victims," Mark said. "I'm usually not ready for this shit!"
"And that sends ratings through the roof! Do you think that other people will try to take you down for this?"
"Actually, I feel quite safe," Mark replied. "My alliance makes up half the team, so even if the rest of my team, one member of which is in my sphere of influence, turns on us, they can only force a tiebreaker, and we're all very able. So no, I'm not worried about getting voted out because of this."
"Do you feel ANY remorse?" Zoey asked.
"Of course I do! Zoey, you're one of the sweetest girls in the game! This was, I promise, purely strategic. You were in a powerful alliance that could betray me at any second, and the strongest link."
"What about Tobias?"
"If I went after Tobias, it would set off the alarm for everyone else, and give the Tripartite Alliance a reason to get us voted out. We know we can't throw blows on the leaders unless we get evidence against them or we'll get voted out ourselves, since so many people like us. I may be evil, but at least my strategy leaves winners other than me."
"What strategy?" Zoey asked.
"Use my alliance to get people hooked up in exchange for a vote. Then, I use that to add them to my sphere of influence all the way, and knock everyone else out. Then, turn our sphere of influence against each other, leaving me, Eva, Sierra, and Cody, and we'll just split the money, since we're so close. It leaves a lot of winners. I'm not setting people up just for strategy, though. Ask guys at my school; I hook people up all the time! I just mix it with strategy here. I mean, there's a billion bucks on the line! Sort of a reverse Alejandro tactic. That make sense to you?"
"I like what you describe it as," Alejandro said. "If you win, I will be happy to say that the winner's tactic was based off of mine."
"Based off yours? No! Just named after yours! I've been using it to gain popularity ever since I got to Cleveland High! I only recently realized that it was basically a reverse version of your tactics! You make people fall in love you for votes, I make people fall in love with other people for votes. You scrap your alliances fast, I keep them around as long as I can. You see yourself as evil, I see myself as at least trying to be benevolent! If you had to choose between Heather and the money, you'd pick the money; if I had to choose between Eva and the money, I'd choose Eva, unless it was Eva forcing me to make that choice. I wouldn't date a girl like that, and I don't think Eva is like that. Our tactics are nowhere near the same, but we are both powerful. I just choose to be powerful with 3 other people, including my true girlfriend: Eva. Because love is way more valuable than a billion dollars."
"Awe!" said the crowd, in response to Mark's speech.
"So, you took me out because I was too popular?" Zoey asked.
"Bingo!" Mark replied. "Anyone that gets too much respect from me, I end up targeting as a threat. The exception, obviously, is Eva, Sierra, and Cody. Does your elimination shock you?"
"Actually, Tobias told the Anti-Manipulator Alliance of a plot to eliminate me by Kim, thanks to intel from Noah!"
"Oh, Kim's allied with us. Noah was actually being deceptive. I'm not sure how Tobias didn't know he was lying, though. Did you see him on the European version of Total Drama? Guy busted 3 evil players!"
"Yeah, he was a fully loaded booby trap for manipulators. Can't fault the jury for picking him over Liam."
"Anyway, Zoey, you're probably one of the best competitors in Total Drama. You're nice, you're popular, you're athletic; you're a total warrior! If anyone deserved to win, it's you. Unfortunately for you, deserve's got nothing to do with who actually wins. Once again, purely strategical. Hopefully, we can be friends after this is over."
"Well, you're better than Scott. At least you do good things as well as getting people eliminated."
"Yeah. I'll be sure to make sure Mike's OK for you, alright? Hopefully, Kim can't pull the same thing on you and Mike that Alejandro pulled on Geoff and Bridgette. That's where I draw the line in strategy. I'll create love to get votes, I'll lie to get votes, I'll become friends with people for votes, I'll sabotage to get the person I want eliminated on the chopping block; heck, I'm not even below blackmail! But I would NEVER tear love apart, or fake a relationship. Kim, though, she doesn't have that line. She's evil, and I bet she'll try to seduce Mike now that you're out. Come to think of it, that's probably why she backed up Cody in voting you out! Dammit, Kim!"
"Cody?"
"Oh, it was his idea initially. Or at least, he said it first. Anyway, I can't blackmail Kim, but I will try my best to make sure she doesn't pull an Alejandro move on Mike. That would be bad. Especially because I don't think Alejandro and Heather will be much help in trying to rekindle the fire if something does happen. So, I'm going to warn you ahead of time: Kim's going to pull some tricky moves on him. She's evil. If he seems to get entranced by her, just remember; she's just trying to make him vote someone out! She's good; heck, I'm dating a girl that could tear me into a million pieces, and turn each individual piece into a million pieces, and Kim still sometimes catches my eye! But she can't do much to me, because I know what she's up to, and, well, Eva! But with you not in the game, she could do a lot to Mike. That worries me."
"You're right," Alejandro noted. "Who do you think is next on Mark's target list?"
"Probably Mike," Zoey replied. "As he said, Kim. He'd want to get him out quickly, so she couldn't tear me and Mike apart."
"So, you want me to send Mike home next?" Mark said.
"No! I just think you might!" The garbage bomb began beeping.
"TAKE COVER!" Mark yelled. Everybody ducked, and the trash bomb exploded.
People began to get up, covered in trash from the explosion.
"Ew, gross!" Zoey said. Alejandro started puking, then Jo, then Justin, then Heather, then a bunch of other people. Even Mark puked.
"I guess that means that was a lie?" Mark said, as the puking stopped.
"Mark's right," Heather said. "Unfortunately, or, really, fortunately, that was our only garbage bomb. And now I'm covered in trash!"
"Well, it was your idea!" Alejandro noted.
"Which backfired horribly. I was expecting Jo or Scott or Justin to lie, not Zoey! Anyway, the game is now Truth or Anvil!" The intro sequence for Truth or Anvil played, with the statue getting crushed by an anvil.
"We are never doing Truth or Explosion again," Alejandro said under his breath.
"So, Zoey," Heather asked, "what do you really think?"
"OK, fine!" Zoey said. "I'd be happy if Mike joined me here. I just don't want him to be seduced by Kim, because I don't want to lose him! And the worst possible thing would be if he was seduced by Kim, they made it to the final 2, and Mike lost!"
"Not going to happen, Zo," Mark replied. "Mainly because I intend to take Eva with me to the final 2, and take down Kim soon. But for now, I have to keep her around, because she's my proxy to take down parts of the Anti-Manipulator Alliance, so they can't vote me out. But you do bring up a good point. Mike's still in the Anti-Manipulator Alliance, but if he ends up in Kim's sphere of influence, I might try to vote him out." Mark's phone rang. "Oh crap, it's Mr. Hawaii. That guy's a big Zoey fan. I think I just lost my scholarship to be a Rainbow Warrior." Mark picked it up. "Rye ooh!"
"What?" Anne Maria asked.
"One sec." Mark covered his phone. "That's what I say when a college scout or coach calls me. It's spelled R-Y-U. Not actually a word, but it's a trademark of mine." Mark uncovered his phone. "Hello, Mr. Hawaii. I think I know why you're calling. Yes, I had a lot to do with it. I understand. Oh, why, thanks!" Everyone gasped, as Mark's face lit up. "Yes, I can visit campus after I win or get voted out. But I don't know when that will happen. Mmm-hmm. Look, if you wanna watch me live, you gonna have to call the producers." A magnet popped into the room, on a string. Mark glanced over. "Hold on a second." Mark put down the phone, ripped the string in half and stole the magnet, and growled at the person holding the fishing pole.
"Yikes!" yelled Chris, off screen. "Alright, you can keep your phone! Just don't hurt me!"
"Don't make me send Eva on your ass!" Mark yelled, closing the door. "I'm gonna sell this baby on eBay! Game-used magnet, used in an attempt by Chris to brick my phone! Bidding starts at a hundred bucks!"
"$125!" Anne Maria yelled.
"I'm Not auctioning it now, duh!" Mark slipped the magnet into his pocket, and picked up the phone. "Hey, sorry, Chris just tried to brick my phone. You know, the host of the whole thing? The guy who hands out the money? The guy that's trying to get us all killed?" The studio laughed at Mark's final remark. "Anyway, yeah, Mr. Hawaii! Yeah, uh, one sec, then we can talk. I'm on the Aftermath show. No, I'm not out, they have this Live from the Confessional segment, where they grill players still in the game. I'm on it because I got Zoey voted out. Call me back in a moment, alright? Thanks, bye." Mark hung up. "Mr. Hawaii is actually pretty impressed I got Zoey eliminated! He wants to set up a visit to the campus after I win or get eliminated. Anyway, Mark out!" The connection to the confessional was cut.
"So, Zoey!" Heather said. "Guess your elimination didn't cost Mark any scholarships. Unlike DJ. Time for some not exactly never-before-seen footage that I still want to show. Roll clip!"
The clip was in the confessional.
Mark's phone rang, and he picked it up. "Oh, hello, Mr. UCLA. Huh? That harsh, huh? Wow, you like DJ! OK, fuck you too! Fine, throw away ANY chance you had of ever becoming relevant again. Fuck it, I'm deleting your contact! Enjoy letting your drought continue, you dumb bear!" Mark hung up the phone, angrily. "And UCLA just rescinded their scholarship offer to me because I took out DJ. See if I care! Your loss, assholes! Mr. UCLA… And you, Coach Bryant, are blocked! Enjoy losing to the Trojans for the next few years! Ugh, the nerve of some of these fans… Actually, mad respect for you! You take this seriously!"
"Woah, he looks like he freaked out more than Eva when her MP3 player went missing!" Courtney said.
"Well, he did lose a scholarship to one of the best colleges in the US," Jo noted. "They're some serious toughies."
"In football?" Lightning commented. "Sha-Lightning don't think so! They're a basketball school, not a football school!"
"They're still PAC-12," Duncan noted. "And you know the PAC-12 has some real toughies. Yeah, if I played sports, I'd be pretty bummed to lose a scholarship from a PAC-12 school, too!"
"Still," Courtney said, "did you see his reaction when Chris tried to confiscate his cell phone?"
"He was quite protective of it on the show!" Scarlett said. "It's a prized possession of his!"
"Well, we have some never-before-seen footage on that!" Alejandro said. "Roll clip!"
The clip was in 1st class.
Mark was in his seat, writing in a book, with headphones on. Noah approached him, his hand hanging low. Mark glanced over at Noah, noticing his hand reaching for the pocket where the cord on his headphones led. He slapped Noah's hand away, hard.
"Ow!" Noah exclaimed.
"No one touches my phone, got that?" Mark said.
"Touchy!" Noah rubbed the slapped hand as she left, and Mark got back to writing.
"Unfortunately, we don't have another angle to see what Mark is writing," Heather said. "Maybe Noah knows?" Noah, in the confessional, appeared on screen.
"Hello, Aftermath!" Noah said.
"What with that phone stealing fiasco?" Heather asked.
"Actually, I had no intention on getting away with it," Noah replied. "That was intended to give Mark a hint: I can do dirty work for you with the Anti-Manipulator Alliance! I'm wasn't trying to tell him straight-up, so Tobias couldn't figure him out. But he knows now. This was before he created the plot to eliminate Zoey. There was also a second purpose, the bigger one: see what his weakness was. I can't do much about Eva, because Mark could easily replace just about anything she has, but college scouts only know Mark's cell phone number. No Mark, no blast shield if the time bomb that is Eva gets activated. I intend on eventually overthrowing Bermuda Square, but first, I need to help them take down the Tripartite Alliance. No amount of scheming by me can take them out right now. They are in a very advantageous position, because they're loved and still undercover. Not Bermuda Square. People know Bermuda Square exists, and that they're responsible for a good number of eliminations. But they're so nice, setting up couples and all, that people won't vote them out. They both wear a mask, but I've seen right through both of them. I think it's just a matter of time before Bermuda Square moves on to bigger and bolder moves. They might try to take down a manipulator, soon. They know they can't do much to me, though, since I'm already dating Emma. We've been going quite strong. She wants to be a lawyer, I want to be a scientist. Or better yet, a CEO! Anyway, yes, that phone is a target of mine. I overheard his freakout at that college coach. If I can get to it, he'll flip out, and bam! Just like that, like his girlfriend in Island, he is gone! Then, I trick everyone into voting off Cody, and Eva and Sierra become loose cannons, and easy to eliminate. That leaves me and Kim, but with the Anti-Manipulator Alliance, Kim will be a pushover."
"So, basically, you're waiting for the Tripartite Alliance to be eliminated?" Heather asked.
"Yep. It's the perfect strategy, really. Though to do it, I need to be in the same cabin as Mark, because really, I can only get to his phone while he's sleeping. And even then, I need to use Owen as a shield. At the very least, Owen would give me time to run, before Mark and Eva start chasing me. I may get maimed, but as long as I don't get eliminated due to injury, I'll be fine, because a freakout of that caliber would easily warrant them being voted out. He lost a scholarship to a two-bit college that claims to be tough when its football program can barely hold its own in the PAC-12, and you saw how he flipped! I'm sure it would be worse if he lost his contact with college scouts entirely!"
"Woah, you are ruthless!" Alejandro noted. "I like that! I guess you intend to take advantage of everyone here!"
"Correct. Paul will be a bit harder, since he works well with his personalities, but with Ferdinand dating Ella, I only need to cause some complications with Ferdinand and Ella to take them both out. Wouldn't it suck if, say, Anna dated Rafael?" Noah had a smirk on his face. "One thing that rings true about everyone is that they have a dark side. Even Ella. And with Ferdinand, I think I know how to show it!"
"So, you have this game planned out already?" Heather asked.
"Yes. And I have multiple contingency plans in case someone important gets voted out. I won't say much more." The connection to the confessional was cut.
"Why aren't we getting interviewed?" Scarlett asked.
"We're out of time," Alejandro said.
"But we're not even that far in!" Duncan noted. "And with 60 Club, you guys got hour long episodes. How could you not have time?"
"Because we'll need a bunch of time to send 5 of you back into the game!" Heather said. "That's right, it's time for the second Total Drama Second Chance Challenge!" The crowd cheered.
"Before we begin, though," Alejandro said, "we have some business to take care of. Recently, SeahawkLover12 ran out of challenge ideas. So, he asked you, the viewers! You guys really came through with… TWO CHALLENGE IDEAS?!" Alejandro was not happy with the number. Angry enough, in fact, that he flipped the table, before cursing in Spanish.
"At least he got some ideas!" Max said.
"Yeah, I mean, it IS the Total Drama fandom," Jo said. "We've sort of lost ground in the human universe, thanks to those guys from The Walking Dead and Stranger Things. Those shows aren't even stable; half the cast gets killed off every few episodes! We only lose one person per episode, and even then, we can bring them back next season, or whenever the fuck we want!"
"True," Alejandro mentioned. "But still, I expected double digits!"
A/N: Despite what Alejandro is saying (he's quite a bit less patient than me), I'm not angry, or even annoyed. Seriously, big thanks to the two guys who sent me challenge ideas. Alejandro is just being ungrateful. For ratings.
"Anyway," Heather said, "we got 2 ideas. One will be used for the second chance challenge. The first idea, from Mattafat, will be revealed next episode, where we're going to use the idea! Here's the other suggestion. From a guest reviewer, 'How about a giant quiz challenge? It will be a giant quiz with questions about both this season and the seasons before it, like the elimination order and small details about the challenges; that kind of thing. For one correct answer, they score a point for their team. If someone answers incorrectly, they're out and all their points are subtracted from their team's total. If all the members of a team get out, they automatically lose. Whichever team scores the most points (or still has members standing and all the other teams are out) wins.' And we're going to use an individual variant of that right here, to decide which 5 contestants are going to be sent back into the game!" The crowd cheered, as a set of 20 trap doors appeared.
"OK," Heather said, "here's how this works: each of you will stand on a trap door. We'll ask you a question about seasons past. The first contestant to buzz in and answer the question correctly gets to eliminate any other player. We will do this until only 5 of you remain."
"Those 5 will be back in the game for a chance at a billion dollars!" Alejandro said. "Do you all understand?"
"Yes," everyone replied.
"OK," Alejandro said, "first question: what was the first challenge ever on-" Alejandro was interrupted by someone buzzing in. "Courtney?"
"Jumping off a 1,000-foot cliff," Courtney replied. "I don't know why he used the imperial system, though."
"…first challenge ever on Total Drama? Correct! Who do you want to eliminate?"
"Jo."
"Oh, come on!" Jo said, before Heather pushed a button, causing Jo to drop.
"Next question," Heather said. "You got a chance to see the audition tapes for the newbies, so we're going to ask questions about them, too. Seahawklover12 DID write those. Be sure to check them out! Anyway, what does Mark call the snare line at Cleveland High School?" A few seconds later, someone buzzed in. "DJ?"
"The Elite 5," DJ replied.
"Correct! Who do you want to eliminate?"
"Sugar."
"ARE YOU KIDDING-" Sugar was interrupted by being dropped.
"I do not disagree with you, DJ," Alejandro said. "Next question: What did Lindsay say after she voted for Courtney in Oceans Eight - Or Nine, in Total Drama Action?" Someone buzzed in. "Courtney?"
"'No matter what, I could only press the Courtney button!" Courtney replied. A buzzer sounded.
"Sorry, niña, but no." Someone buzzed in. "Dawn?"
"'No matter what, my finger would only press the Courtney button!'" Dawn replied.
"You got it! Who's out?"
"Scott." Scott was dropped.
"Next question," Heather said, "In Island, whose dare got me eliminated?" Someone buzzed in. "Rodney?"
"Lindsay's?" Rodney replied.
"Correct! Who's out?"
"Sorry, Justin." Justin dropped.
"Next question," Alejandro said. "There's only 2 options, so if you buzz in and get it wrong, you will be eliminated. In Total Drama World Tour, which newbie got off the bus first: me or Sierra?" Someone buzzed in. "Vladimir?"
"You did, Alejandro!"
"Correct! Who's out?"
"Scarlett." Scarlett was dropped.
"13 left, and 5 of you are going to be back on the show!" Heather said. "Next question: According to Beth, where did she meet her boyfriend?" Someone buzzed in. "DJ?"
"Orthodontist's office," DJ replied.
"Correct! Who's out?"
"Max. Sorry, little guy."
"You'll pay for this!" Max said, before being dropped.
"Next question," Alejandro said. "In Total Drama Revenge of the Island, which of Mike's personalities are seen fir-" Someone buzzed in (I bet you can't guess who). "Zoey?"
"Chester!" Zoey replied.
"Correct! Who's out?"
"Scott." Scott dropped.
"Next question," Heather said. "In World Tour, what trick did Cody use to convince Gwen to carry the epi-pen?" It took a few seconds before someone buzzed in. "Lightning?"
"Puppy dog eyes," Lightning replied.
"Correct!"
"Yeah! Sha-Lightning strikes! Sorry DJ, but you just got struck by Lightning!" DJ dropped.
"Next question," Alejandro said. "In Total Drama Action, during the spy movie challenge, what prop did Lindsay walk into?" Someone buzzed in. "Amy?"
"A fake cave opening, which actually looked quite real," Amy replied.
"Correct! Who's out?"
"That annoying Rodney." Rodney dropped.
"Next question," Heather said. "In one episode of Revenge of the Island, Chris constantly references hurling after eliminating a contestant. Whose cooking caused Chris to hurl?" Someone buzzed in. "Zoey?"
"Scott's," Zoey replied.
"Correct! Who's out?"
"Mmm… Justin." Justin dropped.
"Next question," Alejandro said. "On the episode of Mike's elimination in Revenge of the Island, which Total Drama original made a cameo?" Someone buzzed in. "Topher?"
"Duncan!" Topher said.
"Correct! Who's out?"
"Beardo." Beardo dropped.
"Next question," Heather said. "Who returned on episode 5 of Pahkitew Island?" Someone buzzed in. "Amy?"
"I did!" Amy said.
"Correct! Who's out?"
"Zoey." Zoey was dropped.
"Next question," Alejandro said. "We're down to our final 6, so whoever gets this right is going to be back on the show! Who created the first ever alliance on Total-" Someone buzzed in. "Amy?"
"Heather," Amy replied.
"Correct! Who's out?"
"Topher."
"And with that, we have 5!" Heather said. "Vladimir, Dawn, Amy, Anne Maria, Lightning, congratulations! You just made it back onto the show!"
"Did I just let Amy back onto Total Drama 60 Club?" Vladimir said.
"Yeah, you did," Amy said. "Now get us to the next destination!"
"We will," Alejandro said. "Now get out." All 5 of them were dropped. "That's the show, everyone! Tune in next time for more drama, alliances, love, pain, and potentially some explosions, on Total! Drama! 60 Club!"