Rory curled the last piece of hair around the iron, then began pulling the top layer away from her face. She wasn't looking forward to the Post It Gazette dinner and dance that evening, but she really didn't have a choice. Sighing, she finished with her hair and then glanced in the mirror, taking in her overall appearance. She was wearing a aqua dress with a black, lace overlay. The full skit fell just below her knees, and satin band decorated with beading tucked around the empire waist. She wanted to look good, just incase Logan sent a glance her way. Although she knew he would be just as angry and hurt no matter how she looked, she figured a little extra appeal couldn't harm anything.

Work had been absolute hell for her over the past few days. She didn't want to look at him, and yet she couldn't stop herself. The only consolation was that she'd caught him staring in her direction a few times also. Although she'd busy with her articles, she couldn't stop the thoughts of Logan that kept creeping into her mind. He had a hold of her and he didn't even know it. She'd been waiting patiently for a chance to talk to him, but now she was seriously doubting that time was ever going to come.

Shaking her head to rid it of thoughts of Logan, she grabbed her purse and walked out of the bedroom door. Carmen was standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and stamping her foot impatiently.

"Are you ready yet?" Carmen asked, sounding exasperated.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

"It's about time," she paused, "You look gorgeous by the way, love the outfit."

Rory took in her best friend's strapless black dress, "Thanks, you too."

"So, the boys are meeting us there. We better get going."

"Okay. Let's go."

They made their way out onto the city streets and called for a taxi. Once inside, Rory leaned her head against the window and watched the light roll by. She wondered if he would bring a date. Probably, and knowing Logan, she would be absolutely stunning. He always had the ability to get any girl he wanted, which was why it still puzzled her as to why she had been able to grab his attention.

She hadn't seen him flirting with any of the girls in the office, which surprised her. The Logan she knew would've had at least three dates already. The thought crossed her mind that maybe, just maybe, he was having a hard time moving on. Maybe somewhere deep down, he still cared about her. She quickly moved the the theory out of her mind. Logan didn't dwell, he lived. He didn't remember, he pushed forward. She may have hurt him a long time ago, but she was sure the only emotion he felt towards her now was hatred. He didn't need her in his life. He didn't need her like she needed him.

"I think he's going to notice you tonight," Carmen observed.

"I hope so," Rory murmered.

"He seems like a really nice guy, Ror."

"He is. He always got along with everyone, that's for sure."

"He stayed Rory," Carmen said quietly.

"What?"

"I said he stayed. He didn't bolt when he saw you. He's still here, that has to mean something."

"Yeah, it means he made a commitment to the newspaper."

Carmen laughed, "You keep believing that, Gilmore."

"Carmen! I walked out on him. He wants nothing to do with me."

"Mhmm," Carmen mumbled sarcastically, "I believe otherwise."

"And what makes you think otherwise?"

"Um, the fact that he can't keep his eyes off of you."

"So he's looked at me a few times, probably with daggers in his eyes."

"No daggers."

She hated the hope her best friend was instilling in her heart. False hope was the last thing she needed. What she needed was to gather herself and move on. The only thing she needed to worry about was the newspaper and her articles, but she knew no matter what that wasn't going to happen. One look at Logan and he was all that filled her mind, all she could remember. She discovered long ago that most of her favorite memories included him, and she was sure that wasn't a coincidence.

"Have you tried talking to him since...you know."

"No," Rory paused, "I don't know if I'm going to."

"Rory! You have to."

"He really doesn't seem to want to talk and I can't make him."

"Give him time."

"I'm trying," Rory half whispered.

She recalled seeing him smile in at work the other day, and her heart had absolutely melted. His smile always had a power over her that she couldn't really describe. One grin from him and she felt like she was falling head over heels all over again. Him and Will had been talking on the other side of the room, and all of the sudden Logan's face just lit up with one of those perfect expressions. She'd felt tears in her eyes and quickly turned away, but the imprint of that moment was forever imbedded in her mind. One more. All she wanted was one more of those smiles directed at her.

And yet recently another part of her emotions had been sneaking out. She recalled how absolutely devestated she'd been after learning about the brides maids. She remembered wondering why he was able to move on so easily, while she was life totally heartbroken. And although she knew he considered them to be seperated at the time, it still felt like a knife in her heart just thinking about it. But she had gone back to him, and she had gone to Jess's bookstore, and it had been her that left while he was away. So, she guessed they had both made mistakes. But hers, hers cost them the relationship that could've lasted a lifetime.

"We're here," Carmen announced, "Ready, Ror?"

Rory sighed as she stepped out the cab, taking in the lit up ballroom and the herds of people walking through the doors.

"As I'll ever be, I guess."

"Try and have a good time, okay? This could be fun if you'll let it."

"I'll try, Car."

"Good," Carmen grabbed her arm and grinned, "Let's go, Gilmore."

--------------------------------

"Where are they?" Carmen grumbled fifteen minutes later, eyes moving around the room.

"I don't know," Rory replied, following her friend's gaze, "Maybe they aren't here yet."

"I'm sure they are, for as long as you took to get ready."

"Very funny."

"Oh well, we'll find them eventually," she paused, "I forgot how incredibly boring these things are."

"Yes, they do bring back painful memories," Rory said with a half grin.

"What?"

"My grandmother used to throw parties like this," she explained.

"I see."

"And just like Lo--" Rory stopped short, heart pounding with emotion.

"Ror?"

She didn't reply, because she knew if she opened her mouth she wouldn't be able to stop the tears. She had just been ready to tell Carmen all about Logan's famous sub parties, but then she couldn't bring herself to do it. The memories wouldn't stop moving from her brain to her mouth, and she wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to take it.

The first sub party of Logan's she had ever been exposed to was at what became known as 'The Male Yale Party'. She smiled sadly, remembering how Logan had rescued her from a insistent prospect. She recalled how perfect his arm had felt wrapped around her shoulders, even if she'd had a boyfriend at the time. In the poolhouse, she let herself go and had more than a few drinks. And when Dean broke up with her, well, Logan had been her support, her shoulder to lean on. She knew he was something special the minute he told her that it would be okay.

"Rory?" Carmen asked again.

Rory snapped out of her daze, "Sorry."

"You were saying? Before?"

"Oh," Rory paused, sighing, "Nevermind."

She glanced around the room again, only to see something that made her heart drop. Shawn and Aiden were standing at a table, laughing hysterically at something Will had just said. But that wasn't the problem. Standing next to them, looking stunningly handsome, was Logan Huntzberger. A grin took over his face, and she could tell he was uttering a sarcastic comment by the way a half smirk tugged at his lips. Shawn shot him a sideways glance as her finished, then broke into a fit of laughter. A mixture of emotions grabbed her as she watched them. The first being anger, almost jealously. How dare he march into her life and start talking to her friends. How dare he!

But he was Logan afterall, and he almost seemed to pull people towards him. He always had an interesting story, or a witty comment to pass along. Once a person talked to him once, it was almost impossible to tear away. She couldn't blame Aiden and Shawn for talking to him, there was no rule saying they couldn't be friends with her and Logan. It still bothered her though, because the two boys were supposed to be her support system. It bothered her that Logan felt so instantly comfortable in her life.

"Are you okay?" Carmen asked, following her stare, "Oh my God."

"It's nothing," Rory replied quickly, "Where are the drinks?"

"Oh my God!"

"What?"

"What are they doing?"

"What do mean? They're talking to Logan."

"Well I can't see that, but why?"

"Probably because they're friends."

"And this doesn't bother you?"

"Not really," Rory lied, "You want to hit the bar?"

"Hah! I knew it bothered you."

"It does not bother me. I just want a drink."

Carmen held eye contact with her for a minute, before relenting, "Okay."

Rory downed two drinks, before she felt a hand lightly touch her shoulder. She turned to see Shawn grinning at her, Aiden at his side, and holding a drink in his hand.

"You need a refill?" he asked.

"Yes, please."

She grabbed the drink and sipped it, wondering if the two were going to mention Logan.

"So, we saw you over there," Carmen stated.

And then she realized Carmen would beat them to it.

"Oh, um," Aiden stutterd, avoiding Rory's eyes, "We were just, um..."

"It's fine," Rory assured them.

"Really?" Shawn asked, intrigued.

"Yes, really."

"It's just, we were talking to Will, and he came over and..." Aiden rambled.

"Stop it!" Rory said with a half grin, "I don't care."

She watched their worried expressions fade, and she wondered for a second why she didn't tell them she was slightly angry. But then she realized that wasn't her place. They were grown men, and they were free to be friends with whoever they chose. It wasn't like Logan had broke her heart afterall, it was the other way around. And a part of her thought that maybe, just maybe, the three of them getting along could work in her favor. It couldn't work against her, now could it?

"Let's dance, Gilmore," Shawn said with a grin.

"Excuse me?"

"Dance? You know: feet moving, bodies swaying."

"Sure," she smiled, "Why not?"

Shawn held out her hand, and she placed her drink on the table before accepting it. Aiden winked at Carmen, before grabbing her wrist and pulling her out with the other two. The dance floor was crowded, which was odd for one of the newspaper's gatherings, but Rory quickly realized that the paper had gathered more young workers since the last dinner.

She wrapped her arms around Shawn's neck and she felt his close around her back. She wondered if Logan had said anything about her, if she had made her two best friends question her morals, her decisions, or the person she was all together.

"So..." Rory began, letting her voice wander off.

"So..." Shawn mimicked with a grin.

"Did you um," she paused, "Did you talk about me?"

His smile faded, "No, Ror."

"Because I don't want you to think--"

"Rory," Shawn interrupted seriously, "We didn't talk about you, nothing was said about you."

"Okay," she replied quietly.

"We didn't mean to hurt you, Ror."

She glanced up, "You didn't. I mean, I was suprised, but you didn't hurt me."

"He's just going to be working with us, so we figured we might as well get to know him."

"Fine," Rory insisted, "Don't worry about it, really."

They were silent for a few minutes, before Shawn spoke up again, "He's a lot like you."

As soon as the words left his lips, Rory felt her heart drop. Logan was like her in a way, she guessed, but they were different in plenty of ways. He was adventurous, outgoing, and of the moment, while she was more nervous, and had her feet planted firmly on solid ground. But after all their time together, it was impossible not to rub off on each other. She found herself taking more chances, and she thought that maybe he had grown more mature. And they had always shared that sarcastic sense of humor, and the quick, witty banter. She had yet to find a person that could keep up with her in words the way Logan had.

She glanced over Shawn's shoulder, only to see a pair of eyes staring at her from a distance. Logan was standing at the bar, drink in hand, stare following her every movement. They made eye contact for a split second, before he quickly turned away and downed the rest of his drink,

"Are you okay?" Shawn asked quietly.

She sighed, "I'm going to go get some fresh air."

"Ror, I'm sorry..."

"No, I just," she paused, "I'm not feeling well."

--------------------------------

As soon as the cool wind whipped across her face, she began to feel slightly better, although the sick feeling in her stomach was still present. So he had been looking at her at the office, she hadn't been imagining things. But why? Was he staring at her in rage? In hatred? Or was it something else? Maybe Logan was watching her and remembering, just like she was. Maybe somewhere deep inside, he recalled the way things used to be. But she knew that was a long shot. After everything she put him through, why should he ever even think about talking to her? Let alone giving her another chance?

She leaned against the back wall of the building, arms tucked around herself as the silent tears began streaming down her cheeks. She wanted to talk to him, needed to talk to him, but she wasn't sure how to make him listen. As much as she wanted him back, what she wanted more was for him to understand. She wanted him to understand why she left, why she did what she did. He needed to know how big of a mistake she made, and how much she regretted it every single day of her life.

Her cellphone rang in her purse and she fished it out quickly. The caller id showed her it was Carmen on the phone, and she knew she would have a lot of explaining to do.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" Carmen demanded.

"I just needed to take a walk."

"In the middle of the party?" she hissed, whispering.

"Well...yeah."

"Are you coming back?"

"I don't know."

"I think people will notice if you don't come back."

"I doubt that highly."

"And what do I say if they ask about you?"

"Tell them I wasn't feeling well."

"What did Shawn say to you?"

"What?"

She sighed, "When you were dancing, what did he say to make you leave?"

"Nothing! I just...I'm having a rough night, okay?"

"Rory..."

"Stop it! I don't want your pity, I just want to to go home."

Carmen exhaled, "Do you have a key?"

"Yes."

"Okay. If you need anything, just call."

"Thanks, Car."

She closed her phone and placed it back in her purse. With a sigh, she began watching the traffic roll by on the city streets, deciding if she would take a cab or start the long walk home.

The door of the ballroom opened, and footsteps came around the corner. When she glanced to her right, she nearly lost her balance in surprise. It took a second before Logan looked in her direction, but when he did, she saw the same hurt look in her eyes reflected in his. They both stood there, unmoving, staring at each other in silence. Logan opened his mouth slightly, as if he wanted to say something, before he shook his head slightly and turned to head back inside.

She waited until the door closed, waited until she was sure he couldn't hear her, before she sank down on the sidewalk in tears, not caring about how dirty her dress was getting.

"I love you," she whispered into the night air, "I love you."

One look into his eyes and she felt like she was toppling off one of the city skyscrapers. She couldn't seem to stay on her feet whenever his chocolate brown gaze made contact with her own. And when he opened his mouth, God, she had been so anxious. He was finally going to say something, she thought he finally had something to tell her, but then he'd changed his mind. He walked away! As if it was the easiest thing in the world. He just turned on his heel and walked away.

And she knew right then and there that moving on wasn't going to be hard, it was going to be near impossible. Because everytime she felt like she was back on her feet, he would be there to sent her crashing down again. He didn't know the power he had over her, he had absolutely no idea. Even when they were together, he had the ability to take her to the highest high with one kiss, or to the lowest low with one fight. She guessed that was love. When her emotions were so attached to those of someone else's, she gussed that was love.

She hated love. She laughed softly at the thought. Was that even possible? To hate love?

With a heavy sigh, she walked to the edge of the sidewalk, called a taxi, and slipped inside. The look in Logan's eyes was burned in her brain and she couldn't stop remembering it as the cab sped off towards her apartment building. Hurt. Hurt, anger, and terrible pain. Those were the emotions she'd seen in his eyes. And if he cared, if he had really looked at her, she knew exactly what he saw in hers. Hurt, guilt, and terrible pain. And she hoped that he saw love. She hoped with all her heart that he had been able to scratch away the surface of her stare, and see what she was really feeling. Love.

And more than anything, she hoped she wasn't mistaking when she saw the same feeling in him.