Two days passed and Aya was still asleep, Yohji was thin and he had huge black rings under his beautiful emerald eyes.
His worries for Aya and Aya-chan started to break him, he can't anymore and the boys knew it but he won't go away from Ayas side.
Aya-chans heart was weak from time to time and he didn't know why "Aya-chan, you can't go we need you" he whispered as he caressed her cheek.
But he did it only for a few minutes Aya needed him more "Aya I can't anymore, wake up please come back" he took Ayas hand and his own, hot tears dripped down on Ayas fragile fingers.
Yohji begged and prayed but nothing happened, no reaction meant no hope for Yohji and he buried his dreams together with his hopes.
On the third day after Christmas he broke completely, he rested his head on Ayas hand put on his MP3 player, the last few days he heard songs which explained his feelings or songs Aya liked.
Yohji closed his eyes and listened to the beautiful melody, tears made their way slowly down his cheeks. He stared with glassy eyes into nowhere.
"...
naked on the ocean floor
I'm waiting for a saviour
The deepest dark I ever saw
Wishing me back to shore
Wishing me back to shore
...
I know things couldn't be undone
mindless all the games I won,
a special pain award,
I wish I could break it apart...
Sorry for playing with your heart
...
!! Hoping you will change your mind
Cause there is no way for me to unbind
A special pain award
So lift me back on board
Sorry for playing with your heart
Sorry for playing with your heart
Sorry for playing with your heart
Sorry for playing with your heart !!
..." (And One owns the song The Dream)
Aya could hear a bit from the music and recognized it.
It was a sad song and not good for Yohji, he needed happy or simple songs and Aya knew it was always a bad sign when he heard serious songs.
Aya turned his head to look at Yohji but it wasn't easy with the artificial ventilation, it wasn't like he wasn't used to it, however it still was an ugly feeling.
As he found him, he tried to lift his hand. It was painful but Aya wanted to touch the blond, he wanted to feel his warmth and console him.
Aya laid his hand on top of Yohjis head and stroked through the blonds soft hair, he looked back at the ceiling.
It was straining to caress him but it was worth it.
Yohji felt a slight touch he thought it was Omi again but it was too gentle, Omi would have shook him or put his MP3 – player off or something like that.
So he decided to open his eyes and what he saw made his hurt flutter "A... Aya" he gasped.
Aya was shocked as the blond looked at him, his eyes were blurry and red, the view let Ayas heart clench painfully.
He gave Yohji a slight nod before he started to cough, ohh he hated the artificial ventilation.
Yohji hugged Aya as carefully as possible and at the same time he pressed the emergency button.
"I thought you won't come back" he whispered and Aya could feel a tear drip on his face.
He felt so incredible sorry, he never saw him so broken even after Neus dead he hadn't this kind of look in his eyes... he looked lost.
The doc stormed into the room, she looked surprised and happy "Abyssinian" she smiled "welcome back"
Yohji must leave the room but this time it was ok, he knew Aya won't leave.
The doc needed a whole hour before Yohji could return to Ayas side, he thought about to call the boys but he knew they will come this afternoon so he decided to spent as much time as possible with the redhead ... alone.
Before he went to Aya, he gave Aya-chan a soft kiss on the forehead and an honest "Thank you".
Aya was asleep as he returned so he waited for the next chance to care for him, to say that he was sorry.
"Hey" Yohji said soft as Aya opened slowly his eyes "let yourself some time" he stroke a bang out of his face.
"..." Aya tried to speak but he couldn't make a sound.
"You didn't use your voice for a week, be patient ok?"
Aya swallowed his throat felt like sandpaper and nodded.
Yohji looks like he didn't sleep the whole week.
Did he stay with me the whole time? He must be worried, I caused him pain again
He turned his head to the side and his eyes widened "..."
Yohji could see that he mouthed Aya "I thought it's better to share a room, otherwise I couldn't pay attention to you both"
Ayas eyes watered, it was nice to see that Yohji kept his promise. He raised his hand to touch Yohji but failed miserably.
"Don't overstrain yourself" the blond said and took Ayas hand into his own "I missed you"
"Sorry" Aya whispered with a hoarse voice before he coughed, his throat smarted like hell.
"There is nothing to be sorry for" Yohji said and took a glass of water "I lift you up, only a bit I promise"
Aya shut his eyes tight, his whole body ached, he was sure he never felt so much pain before.
"Shhh ... it will be over soon ... hush" he kissed Ayas forehead "now drink ... slowly ... good"
Aya was relieved as he could lie again; he hoped it wasn't necessary to drink for a long time.
"I thought I lost you" Yohji sat down on his chair but didn't let go of Ayas hand "I was scared of losing you"
The redhead tilted his head, it was an unpleasant conversation, he still loved the blond and didn't know how to react.
"The mission?" Aya whispered, he tried to change the subject but on the other hand he was really interested in the result.
"Huh, I try to tell you how I feel and you're more interested in the mission?" Yohji was hurt, he tried to find the right way to tell him Ì love you too and he was only interested in the damn mission.
"We lost" Yohji started to explain "he escaped as we took care of you ... you were dead" he stared at his hands.
"I stayed with you, Ken and Omi followed the target but without success ... then your heart started to beat again and we brought you to the hospital"
Aya closed his eyes; the thought of being dead sent a cold shiver down his spine.
"You didn't want to wake up, so I decided to kill the target on my own ... I found him at the airport and strangled him slowly to death but as I returned you died the second time" a tear escaped Yohji though he tried to hide it "but you came back again" he looked at Aya with a strange look in his eyes ... was it despair? Aya thought.
"You know ... we celebrated a little Christmas party for you, we hoped you will feel it and come back but you didn't" Yohji squeezed Ayas hand "I already buried my dreams and hopes ... I thought you don't want to come back to me, that you will die and run away from me"
Aya wanted to say that he thought about it but he didn't want to hurt him even more.
"You thought about it am I right?" Yohji could see the answer in his eyes; he could see his inner conflict.
Aya nodded "I was afraid" he gasped strained "forgive me"
Yohji stood up and sat down on the bed "There is nothing to forgive, but it hurt that you're afraid of me, it really hurts"
He rested his arms on each side of Ayas head and looked deep into the redheads eyes "but I deserve it" he sighed before he kissed Aya.
It was a deep and loving kiss, Aya was taken aback he didn't know what happened.
Yohji the ladies man was kissing him ... a man, but it was a great feeling and he decided to enjoy it before he will ask why.
"I love you too, I really do!" Yohji whispered into his ear after they parted "and I'm sorry, I beg you to forgive me"
Aya was overwhelmed with his thoughts and emotions, was it real? Did he really love him too? Or was it pity and guilt?
"Time" Aya whispered "I need time" tears ran down his cheeks and changed his violet eyes into slight red ones.
"Hush ... It wasn't my intention to make you cry ... please stop" he rested his chin against Ayas forehead and stroke with one hand through the fire red hair.
Aya wasn't sure why he was crying, he felt like Yohji made fun of him and on the other hand he felt empty inside as if something was missing.
He wanted to return into the land of dead, he regretted his choice to come back but why?
Why was it so hard? He was sure he missed some important memories and persons otherwise his terrible feelings were worthless and only a curse.
"Sleep a bit" Yohji said calm, he tried to hide his emotions, he didn't want to vent his emotions on Aya again, from now on he will think and then he will talk, at least he will try.
It wasn't nice but they needed a lot of time and Yohji was absolutely determined to invest his time and strength into their relationship.
Aya slept almost immediately "you're cute when you're sleeping" Yohji lay down next to the redhead.
He put one arm carefully around the redheads waist and with the other hand he pressed Ayas hand against his chest so Aya could feel his heartbeat.
As the boys closed the shop, they decided to make two bouquets.
One with white and red roses (we belong together) and for Aya-chan ten red roses (Thank you for everything).
The kids knew Aya-chan had something to do with the events, they didn't know how but it looked like supernatural things exist.
"Let's go to the hospital" Ken said as Omi finished the bouquet for Aya, he let Ken make the bouquet for Aya-chan. He loved Ken but his bouquets ... well.
"Ok " Omi smiled and gave Ken a loving kiss "I hope Yohji feels better than yesterday ... I think he can't stand it any longer"
"He's strong" Ken tried to console his friend but knew he failed miserably "don't look at me like I'm an idiot I only tried to console you"
"I know" Omi grabbed Kens hand "come on let's go"
They arrived at the hospital and got almost a shock as they opened the door of Ayas room.
Yohji lay next to Aya and clung to the redhead.
And Aya ... Aya looked as if he was dead, he was pale and the doctors removed the artificial ventilation.
Omis heart beat faster as he made his ways towards Aya "Yohji?" he asked, his voice was trembling.
Yohji opened his eyes and put his index finger to his lips "He's sleeping" he whispered barely audible.
Omi sighed in relieve, Aya was ok, he really came back. He turned around to look at Ken and beamed with joy and even Ken looked as if he wanted to smile but grinned instead.
Aya turned slightly around and rested his head against Yohjis chest; he could hear his strong heartbeat and felt calm.
The empty feeling started to fade and he felt as if he found partly what he missed.
He could feel how Yohji caress his head but he didn't let go of his hand "sleep" he heard him say.
The boys placed the flowers next to their beds before they settled down next to Aya.
"When did he wake up?" Omi whispered.
"This morning" Yohji answered "I fell asleep and suddenly I felt how someone patted my head".
Some parts weren't true but he didn't want to tell them that he broke down and drowned in his emotions.
"That's great; did you get the chance to talk?" Ken asked serious.
Yohji winced, he hoped he could avoid the subject "He needs time" he answered short.
Ken and Omi knew what he meant and dropped the subject ... for the time being.
"Hey" Aya whispered tired and looked at the boys.
"Hey" Omi wasn't sure how to react, he saved his life after all "ho-how are you?"
"It's ok Omi" Aya lied, in actuality he was in pain but Omi needed the illusion.
"Omi? Can you buy a coffee and something to eat for me?" Yohji asked and his stomach rumbled audible.
"Sure" Omi jumped up and ran to the cafeteria. Ken chuckled "We will buy something at the supermarket, the hospital food is horrible" he went out and tried to catch up with his little lover.
"When was the last time you ate?" Aya looked up at him with worry in his eyes.
"Omi brought food once a day" Yohji didn't realized how hungry he really was until now.
"You can't eat once a day" Aya nagged "when I come home I will feed you until you burst"
Yohji couldn't suppress to laugh, Aya was so adorable "I mean it" he pouted.
"I know you mean it but ... I don't know it's great to hear you nag again, I missed it"
"Nice to know" Aya winced.
"Aya?" Yohji panicked, he was still worried that Aya could leave him.
"It hurt" Aya gasped "I think the painkiller refuse to work"
"I call a nurse, I'm back in an instant" Yohji left and searched a nurse but he found the doc instead "better then a nurse" he mumbled.
"Doc he's in pain" Yohji informed her, she gave him a sad look and that made him worry "Doc?"
"I'm still worrying about him, that's all" she said simply but it wasn't enough for him.
"Why?" Yohji broached the subject again "Tell me"
"It's possible that he gets inner bleedings again, his arteries and organs aren't healed.
When everything grows together again, then we can be relieved.
And I cant give him a strong pain killer, I need to know when his pains get worse"
"I understand" Yohji felt how his worries returned, even stronger than before "Doc, please don't let him die"
She looked at him with a sad smile "I can't" she whispered.
She loved her job and she loved Weiss, and to see them on the rock-bottom broke her heart.
This time she wasn't able to help, there was nothing she could do for her boys and days like these let her doubt about herself.
"I know" Yohji sighed "I know"
She gave Aya a light pain killer before she fled out of the room, Yohjis view was too sad to bear.
"Aya" Yohji whispered "don't leave me"
Aya didn't understand, why should he leave "I won't" he said irritated.
"She said ... it's possible that your inner bleedings could ..."he swallowed "keep fighting ok?" he smiled sad.
"I promise" Aya felt how his hopes fade, he thought he managed it.
Yohji approached him "As I saw you fall, I noticed that I can't live without you ... It hurt even more than Asukas and Neus death" he held Ayas hand tightly.
"But you said..."
"I know ... I was confused about my own feelings, I couldn't believe that I fell in love with a man. But now ... it's ok, life is too short to spent time with unimportant thought like my reputation"
"I'm a bother and I don't want to make your life uneasy" Aya confessed "our fights hurt, they hurt so much"
"I said things I didn't mean ... I didn't listen and misunderstood but I from now on I will listen, I will listen to everything you have to say.
Besides you aren't a bother and you don't make my life uneasy"
Aya smiled, he started to believe him and deep in his heart was a little voice which said he's honest, he really loves you
"I think I take the risk and believe in you" Aya said serious, he wanted nothing more than to find his own happiness with the one he loved.
"I won't let you down, never" Yohji bent forward and pressed their lips together "I LOVE YOU"
Aya put his arms around Yohji and held on him as if he could disappear when he let go.
"Don't move ... you must be careful" Yohji burbled with shock, he was afraid Aya could die here and now.
"I love the overprotective side of you" Aya said gently as Yohji put Ayas arms down, very carefully as if he was a doll.
"I'm only overprotective when you're involved" Yohji blushed slightly.
"Can I have another kiss?" Aya asked bold.
"When you promise not to move" Yohji grinned confident, he knew Aya won't gamble with the kiss.
"Promi..." Aya didn't get the chance to finish his sentence. Yohji kissed him with passion, his tongue asked for the permission to enter Ayas warm mouth.
Aya let Yohji do as he liked, he felt good and would never stop him.
He waited for years to get the chance and now his dreams came through "Love you" he gasped as they parted.
"Yeah I know" Yohji smiled and caressed Ayas pink cheek "Get some rest"
Aya felt like a little child but it didn't disturb him, he liked the warm feeling "See ya ... I promise" he whispered before he fell asleep.
"Here ... Sandwiches and coffee" Omi said cheerful but the happy feeling didn't last long "Yohji, what happened?" Ken added for him.
"His life is still in jeopardy" Yohji rubbed his face "as long as his organs and arteries aren't healed he can die"
Omi almost dropped his tea "Nooo" he whined "Why he always has so much bad luck"
"The curse of an assassin" Yohji grunted "It's the punishment for our sins"
"No, it's only misfortune" Ken tried to comfort him "he survived all that, do you really think he will backing down now"
"Even Aya has a limit" Yohji closed his eyes and took a deep breath "but he promised to come home"
"Nothing is more worth then Ayas word" Omi smiled "let's eat, he will kick my ass when you don't eat"
"That's true" Yohji bit into his sandwich.
They chatted, ate and drank the whole afternoon but they kept always an eye on Aya.
He winced sometimes and Yohji knew he was in pain but it wasn't the time for the next round of pain killers.
Yohji started to caress Ayas arm to calm him down "Bear up! The pain will fade and you will get new pain killers soon"
Aya nodded but didn't open his eyes "Don't leave me" he whispered half asleep and groped for Yohjis hand "I'm afraid ... I don't want to go".
Yohji took Ayas hand "I won't leave, my love" he kissed Ayas hand "and I won't let you go"
He cared for him until he fell asleep.
"Did you say my love?" Ken asked surprised "You sort your problems out?"
"We are official a couple ... since yesterday" Yohji beamed "He's mine"
"Congratulation" Omi thought he will die of happiness, they got together after so much pain and losses, they deserved it to find new happiness.