Ever since Uraraka left his apartment to go to work, Izuku has been left alone with his thoughts and his decision. It's hanging over him like a very large and dark cloud of anxiety, ready to burst and pour all over him and get him to the edge of a full-blown panic attack. It's not that he thinks he can't go through with it, that he's really so weak-willed that just one second dancing with Kacchan and he'll be right back to square one, willing to take anything just for that feeling. He's not… He made a decision that, with or without Uraraka's help, was his alone. He made it because he loved Kacchan and he knew that this was the best for them both…

Not matter how much it hurts or how hard it is.

Izuku doesn't miss the fact that he has to keep telling himself the same thing over and over again, as if he's still trying to convince himself that this was the right thing when he already knows it to be the case. And it doesn't help the almost crippling self-doubt he feels; his insecurities reach towards the surface from where he's buried them deep within and make him shiver. Uraraka's apprehension is really doing a number on him too, even though he knows that she's just trying to look out for him, it's extremely discouraging how much she's worrying that the worst will really come to pass.

He's been pacing back and forth in his apartment for lord knows how long, threatening to wear out a path on the floorboards from how much he's doing it. Izuku wants to know that he can really do this, he wants to be sure that it isn't a mistake but that will never happen until he does it. Still, a little reassurance from his friends would be nice. Uraraka's already proved to be less than helpful in that department because all she manages to do is ask whether he's sure or not, each time making him question and second-guess himself further. Considering Shinsou was the one who sent him home after what happened at the studio, he's probably not going to be very supportive of this decision. After all, Uraraka said he'd been the only other person to oppose the suggestion of Izuku and Kacchan dancing a piece together.

Kirishima, Kaminari, Ashido, Sero and Camie would probably be on his side, but they were also the friendliest ones with Kacchan himself and likely to just want them to patch things up. Not necessarily romantically, especially in Kirishima's case since he'd been enthusiastically pestering him about whether or not he was actually with Todoroki or not ever since…

Pausing his march, Izuku mulls over the idea that suddenly popped in his head and hums thoughtfully, his brow furrowing deeply as he grumbles over his options. Maybe… Is this crazy? Probably… He looks at his phone and sees that it's been a couple hours since Uraraka left, which meant that Todoroki was probably practicing at this moment. Figuring he really has nothing left to lose, he pulls up the text app.

[Midoriya Izuku 04:35 pm]

R u free round 6-8 today?

-delivered-

Ashido was taking the first shift tonight, which meant Izuku only had work a little later and could meet Todoroki after his practice if he was willing, have a chat to clear things up and buy him that coffee and something else. And he could also ask for advice. Was that weird when they'd only just started to get to know each other? Most likely, but he had enough time to think about it until then anyway. That is to say if Todoroki even accepts to see him in the first place. Besides, he really would like to make up for what had happened yesterday. He just wants an outside look into the situation, someone who will listen to what he thinks before judging his decision.

Though, he doesn't expect Todoroki to reply to his text any time soon anyway, so until then he's not entirely sure what else to do. He could just continue pacing with the added anxiety of waiting for the other to say something, but that just sounds like a recipe for disaster. Or at the very least for a breakdown. Izuku considers sitting down and flipping through the TV's channels, yet the flashes of last night's dream put him off the idea altogether. The show wasn't even that good anyway, much too predictable and with overused tropes. And he only saw a few episodes.

Izuku puts his phone to his lips, his foot starting to tap in a mix of impatience and nervousness and the movement starts spreading to his hips. The urge to just turn on some music and dance the time away is much too tempting for him to keep entertaining the thought for longer than the few seconds it took for it to form. Uraraka would kill him if he managed to somehow get another injury or make this one worse. Even if his wrist wasn't really even hurting that much anymore and he was pretty sure he could put his weight on it now… Maybe if he just- No, bad idea.

He ends up flopping onto the couch and just staring at the ceiling for the longest time, trying not to think too much about seeing Kacchan again. Izuku is gonna have to do it to tell him what he wants to do about their routine and to practice it. There's an uneasy feeling settling in his gut as soon as he imagines Kacchan's anger over demanding they go with his decisions… His anxiety spikes all over again and he turns on his side with a huff, looking through his phone for anything that might be even remotely distracting.

The little Tetris game he'd downloaded for moments such as these gets boring fast and he goes through all of his social media platforms twice in two minutes before giving up on that as well. He starts mindlessly scrolling down a Dance News feed and stumbles across an article on ballet that catches his attention.

Clicking it, he starts skimming through it, noting that it's about the anniversary of a famous dancer's sudden retirement, another rendition of the show she debuted at to premier in a week's time in her honour. When he comes by this person's picture, his eyes widen slightly. Her snow-white hair is cascading down her shoulders, her warm grey eyes shining brightly with the smile that softens her features.

Suddenly, Todoroki's face pops to the forefront of his mind, the same small but lovely smile, the calm storm in his right eye and the same pale colour of half of his hair. Just like his mother's, he'd said yesterday, his mother who did professional ballet. He doesn't miss the fact that none of the articles mention her as a Todoroki, meaning that her apparently sudden retirement must have happened before his parents got married. Izuku fleetingly wonders what might have pulled her from dancing and looks for answers, finding none whatsoever, which is strange for someone who'd been so distinguished in the past. It was almost as if she simply disappeared from the map.

Still, knowing her name now, Izuku looks for videos of her performances and… Todoroki had said she was beautiful, but Izuku doesn't think that word is nearly enough to describe it. From the little he finds, he is nearly moved to tears by the emotions that exude from her, the sadness, the joy, all of it so open and so surreally honest. He doesn't know why she stopped dancing but he is deeply saddened by the fact that she wasn't any longer. A gift like that was meant to be shared and Izuku is torn by the grief of what might have stopped her from doing it so young.

He is interrupted by the pop-up notification of a text blinking to life at the top of his screen and he taps it open while wiping at his eyes with his free hand, the stress induced butterflies swarming back to his stomach as soon as he sees it. The short exchange that follows has his heart hammering in his chest, especially with this newly acquired information about Todoroki's mother and how he had no idea why such talent had just dropped off the face of the earth without warning. He knows he shouldn't pry but that doesn't make him any less curious and he's already gnawing on his bottom lip thinking he'll have to keep this discovery to himself, at least for now. After all, it has nothing to do with why he wants to talk to Todoroki and it's also none of his business to be asking about his mother.

[Todoroki Shouto 06:15 pm]

Somewhat. What do you need?

[Midoriya Izuku 06:16 pm]

U think we cud meet b4 i work?

[Todoroki Shouto 06:17 pm]

Sure. I think I can manage. Where to?

Knowing that most small shops would be closing soon, Izuku suggest a Starbucks for convenience and Todoroki requests it be one near where he lives which is fine with Izuku. It just so happens that it's not that far from Erasure either and he can just go from one place to the other. But that would mean he has to get dressed for work before leaving, and so he tells Todoroki that's okay and that he'll try to meet him in fifty minutes to allow himself enough time to get ready. As it turns out Todoroki still needs to shower himself, so it's just as well.

Izuku puts on his usual work outfit: dark jeans and a navy-blue button up with a black vest over it. He would've worn a tie too, if not for the fact that he couldn't tie one if his life depended on it, no matter how many instructional videos on it he watched. He hopes it's not too much to meet with Todoroki, but then again, it's not like he has much of a choice. He grabs his keys and wallet, checks if his phone is also in his pocket about three times, and walks out.

When he gets to their meeting point, Izuku spots Todoroki talking to Yaoyorozu who looks like she's about to leave when she turns around and sees him. Her jaw drops a little for a fraction of a second before she pulls it back, a sly grin spreading across her lips, and she walks past him with a polite greeting, leaving Izuku and Todoroki to watch her go. He glances back to Todoroki and his mismatched eyes are fixated on him, burrowing holes into him that feel like they open a window straight to his soul and Izuku feels exposed, scrutinised. He shifts from one foot to another.

"Um, hello Todoroki-san."

Todoroki blinks a couple of times and clears his throat, looking away as he holds the door open for Izuku with a nod of his head. Izuku gets in line and Todoroki is quick to join him, running a hand through his still damp hair while gazing at him from the corner of his left eye.

"You look nice. How is your hand?"

Izuku feels the tinge of a blush dust over his cheeks at both the compliment and the concern. He mumbles out a word of thanks and scratches at his face awkwardly, saying that he's pretty sure he's already healed, just trying to be careful in case it isn't. He's gotten worse injuries before, not that any of them stopped him for long. He was always a pretty quick healer.

Todoroki nods wordlessly, shoving his hands in his pockets as they wait their turn. Izuku's already pulled out his wallet by the time they get to the front of the line, refusing to have Todoroki pay for it again when he notices that he was getting his too.

"Black again?"

"God no. I'll have a caramel Frap if that's okay."

Pulling his brows together curiously, Izuku asks for a White Mocha and a brownie for himself to get him through, not only the night, but the conversation that's about to happen. As soon as he gets the courage to start it, that is… He asks if Todoroki would like anything else but he politely declines so he pays for everything and they wait for their coffee to be ready.

"Black coffee and a caramel Frap. Are your tastes as contrasting as your hair colours or is this just an exception?"

Izuku tries to break the ice, a wobbly smile tugging at his lips as he hopes he's not being too forward. Todoroki exhales a little harder than usual, which Izuku takes as somewhat of a laugh and a corner of his mouth twitches upwards slightly.

"I hate black coffee." Todoroki says simply, leaving Izuku with just as many questions as before. "I've got a bit of a sweet tooth, actually."

"Really?"

Todoroki smiles for a moment at the surprise in his voice, nodding in confirmation but not offering anything further. Izuku guesses that must mean the last time he was really dead tired to order something he hated the taste of and finds himself smiling bashfully as well. It's still a little hard to believe that Todoroki couldn't sleep because of him, he doesn't think he'll ever actually trust that statement.

With their order up, they find a spot for them to sit and Izuku checks the time to make sure he's not yet at risk of running late. Now that Izuku knows Todoroki doesn't like black coffee, he sees the difference between his reaction to the two beverages. While before he'd simply swallowed it down as quickly as possible, now he seemed to take his time to savour it, much more relaxed.

"How was practice?"

"Exhausting." Todoroki sighs, bringing a hand up to rub at his temple. "But I'm going to assume you didn't text me just to ask me that?"

Izuku sputters slightly, unsure of how Todoroki can read him so easily after just a few days of really getting to know each other. To stop himself from blurting everything out in one go, his muttering tendencies already threatening to make themselves known, he shoves some of the brownie into his mouth. He chooses to use the time he's chewing to think of how in heavens he's supposed to even begin saying this. Honestly, he should just forget about it and pretend like it was nothing important. He can do this, he doesn't need anyone's advice or reassurance…

The cold feeling returns with a personal vendetta, almost making him feel sick from how many knots it twists his stomach into. He can do this, right?

"Is everything alright? If you need my help for anything, I'm willing to try." Todoroki pulls him from his thoughts before he has a chance to get lost in them and he looks into his concerned eyes.

"Yeah, I'd… I'd like your advice on something."

Izuku starts fidgeting with his paper cup and Todoroki leans closer, tilting his head to one side in curiosity. He gestures with his head for him to go on and Izuku shrinks a little, looking around the room and pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. He really needs to get rid of this nervous habit, especially when he neglects to use any lip balm to deal with the damage.

"Is this about your ex?"

Flinching slightly at the bluntness, Izuku nods and lets out a heavy sigh. "I still really want to apologise."

"It's still not your fault. I'm the one who acted out of place."

"You were just being honest."

"It doesn't make it any less intrusive. So, I apologise." Todoroki finishes, his tone telling him that there's no room for discussion and Izuku accepts it. "What is it that you need my advice for?"

He looks down and brings a hand around to rest on the back of his neck, holding back a groan before sitting up straighter and bracing himself to spill the truth. "Okay, so, as I said, Kacchan and I didn't really… End well. I've kind of been avoiding him, if I'm honest, but I can't do that forever, I know that, really, I do. It's just kind of hard to face him when he thinks I had no issues breaking up with him and I'm just…"

Todoroki remains silent, occasionally sipping on his drink, his eyes never leaving his face, which makes Izuku a little more nervous than he already is. When he doesn't continue for a bit, Todoroki encourages him to keep going with a small downward tilt of his head. He needs to just get to the point.

"A-anyway, since Shinsou and the others kind of kicked me off practice and preparations, the majority kind of decided that we should dance together in the flash mob. Ocha says it's a bad idea and so does Shinsou, and honestly, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared of what might happen, but the truth is… I feel like I need to do this? If I just keep running away and cowering in fear I'll just be stuck in this endless loop of sorrow and guilt and I won't really ever move on. So, I said I'd do it under the condition that I get to decide what we do and how we do it."

He ends with a trembling breath and Todoroki hums thoughtfully.

"And you're asking me whether I think you should go through with it?" Izuku assents. "Excuse me, but shouldn't you be talking to someone who's more familiar with the situation?"

The raised eyebrow over Todoroki's scarred eye is almost accusatory, even though Izuku knows for a fact that's not his intention from the way he said it, just a purely curious request to satisfy his mild confusion. Still, he can't help but feel embarrassed when faced with the question, scratching at his flushing cheek timidly.

"Ah, actually… I already said that Shinsou and Ocha are kind of against it, and all the others voted on us dancing together, so really… I want a fresh perspective, an unbiased opinion."

"I don't like him."

Well, that's… Brutally honest. Izuku stares for a few heartbeats as his brain gets the memo to finally speak again. "That's just… That's because you don't really know him, no one who doesn't know him likes him."

"Uraraka and this Shinsou don't seem to like him."

"But they're my closest friends." Izuku tries to justify himself.

"You're not helping your case."

He really isn't, huh? "Well," he chuckles with no real humour and shakes his head in shame "this was stupid, just forget I said anything."

"No, wait, I want to help. Let me see if I understand." Todoroki brings the drink to his lips again, deep in thought as he does. "They want you to dance with someone you've just had a bad break up with for a promotional flash mob. Your closest friends think it's a bad idea and you're scared of the consequences but you still want to do this?"

"When you put it like that…"

Izuku mutters under his breath, hearing how utterly idiotic his reasoning really sounds. The other leans back against his chair with a click of his tongue, crossing his arms over his chest and humming again.

"First, tell me what you really think."

His mouth falls open a little, no words coming out as he simply gawks. He wasn't expecting that. Usually his friends all had a lot to say when it came to his relationship with Kacchan, one way or another, no matter the situation always offering their opinions whether or not he actually asked for them. And more often than not, they'd just tell him what they thought regardless of what he said.

"I…" Izuku avoids Todoroki's intense gaze, taking another glance at his phone for the time. That and to take a moment to gather his scrambled thoughts. "Kacchan… I've never loved anyone before him. Breaking up with him was one of the hardest things I've ever done but I know for a fact that it was the best thing for both of us. That being said…" Izuku's throat is starting to close but he swallows around the lump that's formed there. "I still find myself wanting to try again. And that's what's been keeping me from getting anywhere. I avoid him because I'm scared I'll succumb to that desire."

He pauses for a breath, his hands trembling slightly. Should he really be saying this? For all intents and purposes, he and Todoroki just met, their relationship is nowhere near the point of spilling such heavy baggage.

"Do you think things will change if you two get back together? Do you think you'll be happy with him?"

"No…"

"Do you think you're weak?"

Izuku blinks the prickling tears away before they have a chance to spill. "No." His voice might be shaking the tiniest bit, but that one word is as unwavering as the resolve within him. Weak is something Izuku never was, and it's something he will never be, no matter how many doubts he may have from time to time.

"Good. I don't think you are either. And if you think this is what you need to do to move on, I fully support that decision. You should trust yourself a little more, Midoriya, you didn't need me to tell you something you already know."

Looking up from the table, Izuku locks his gaze with Todoroki's. The other is contemplating him with a calm stare, his expression not really giving anything away except for his eyes. They shine with something that Izuku can't quite place but makes him feel a little more confident, they're inviting, comforting. A shy smile dances on Izuku's lips and he turns away once more, a light flush making a home on his cheeks.

"Thank you."

Izuku is stretching on the floor, light chatter going on around him as the ones present discuss their own ideas for certain steps on the group routine that he'll comment on when he sees fit. He discussed his conditions with them as soon as he arrived, already having decided on a song and going through steps in his mind to build the routine itself.

All he has to do now is tell the one person who is the most likely to disagree and get angry at him for deciding this on his own. Considering how things went down, Kacchan might feel justified in saying that, if anything, it should be him making conditions, since Izuku was the one to break up with him in the first place.

Uraraka is going through some specifications with Camie and Ashido on the routine they're doing together but she'll steal glances at Izuku at any chance she gets. He makes a point of smiling and waving at her every time their eyes meet and she returns it, yet the worry is more than evident in her expression, no matter how hard she tries to mask it. It was a bit unnerving, but Izuku swallows his anxiety and keeps stretching.

The loud thud of a bag hitting the varnished floors draws Izuku's attention to the entrance. His breath catches in his throat at the sight of spiked blonde hair and he goes back to lay his head on his knee as he pulls on his foot. He squeezes his eyes shut when he hears the stomping steps going right past him, heart beating loud and hard in his ears.

Can't run and hide forever. Come on, Izuku, you can do this.

He gets to his feet, gingerly stepping up behind Kacchan and not exactly sure how to get his attention. He could call his name but his tongue feels heavy in his mouth and he can't bring himself to form any words. He could poke his shoulder but that felt like almost literally poking a very angry bear and he didn't want to have his head chewed off. He could clear his throat but that was just as hard as saying something and probably would have the same effect as the poke.

"What the fuck is it Deku?" Kacchan growls and Izuku flinches, jumping slightly as he snaps back from his inner struggle.

"I-I-"

"I-I- what? Just fucking spill it before I kill you."

"I'll dance with you." Deep red eyes are suddenly staring into his and Izuku stumbles backwards, getting some distance between them as his heart beats harder still. "B-but only if… If I get to decide how and to what. Everyone else is fine with it…"

Kacchan crosses his arms, eyes narrowing and mouth stretching into a cocky smirk that still doesn't fail to make Izuku stop breathing for a second. "Hah? Deku? Making demands? After what you did? After bringing that bastard here too."

Izuku looks away for a second, shame ghosting past his features until he reminds himself that he did nothing wrong and takes a deep breath. He faces Kacchan once more, standing a little straighter and making a point of not biting his lip.

"Yes. If you don't want that then I'm sure Camie or Ashido will be more than happy to dance with you instead."

"Fine."

"What." Izuku sputters, not at all expecting that response, much less so calmly. "I… You're not fighting me on this?"

The other shrugs, grinning all over again. Izuku sees something in his eyes, it's there for barely even a second and it's gone as soon as he spots it, not nearly enough time for him to identify it. Behind that smug mask he puts on, it's so hard to read what's really going on inside his head. Izuku would pay to know what the hell he's thinking, because whatever it is, it's making him uneasy.

"We can dance whatever you damn want. Just make sure it's worth my fucking time." He turns his back to Izuku and begins the stretching exercises.

Blinking stupidly, Izuku steps back, something dark hanging over his head at how easy that was. There's something off, Kacchan should have disagreed, he should have been angry about not being allowed to make any decisions on the essence of the routine. It shouldn't have been so easy. But it was… And Izuku should be happy, right? It went better than he expected.

Then why does he feel like there's something very wrong about it?

NOTE: *dead ass rolls in*

It's 3am

I finished this chapter!

Hope you enjoyed it despite my sleep deprived extra self insisting on doing it all in one sitting pfft

As always, feel free to leave any feedback you may have! PS: Actual dancing will resume soon! (I think)