Hi! Thanks for returning! And thanks to Whirlgirl and Jo for the wonderful reviews! So, here is the big John/Gordon chapter. I hope you all enjoy it!

See the bottom of the chapter for information on the two songs used in this chapter.

Chapter 10: John and Gordon-

It was a nice walk. We didn't say much, just walked barefoot, having ditched our shoes on the patio, and watched our feet squish in the wet sand. Behind us the waves crashed in, erasing the evidence that we had ever been there. The sun was shining high in the East, heating this giant greenhouse people named Earth. With our island being so close to the equator, it could get awfully hot and today was no exception. It had to be over 100 degrees Fahrenheit out here. The mist off the sea provided some relief, but not much. I was wishing that I wasn't wearing my short-sleeved button down shirt right now. The undershirt beneath it was soaked. Oh well, at least I had on my khaki shorts instead of the pants.

I looked over at Gordon, dressed in bright floral shorts and a thin, neon yellow t-shirt, he looked pretty comfortable. I wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit. Just as I was watching him, he reached down and dug a small, ½" crab out of the wet sand. He blew some of the sand off and place the small creature in his palm.

"Hey little fella," he said in a soft, high-pitched tone, "What are you doing all the way over here? You're supposed to be on the coral. How's it gonna get clean if you're over here in the sand? What happened? Did a big bad fish try to eat you?"

I stared at him with my brows raised. He held the tiny crustacean right up to his face and spoke to the thing as if it were an infant.

"Hmm...now, how are we gonna get you back home?"

We were not going to get it back home. The coral reef was a mile out. He wasn't swimming there. He hadn't eaten in days. No way.

Finally he faced me, holding his hand out. "John, do me a favor and swim this little fellow over to the coral."

I just stared at him.

He thrust his hand up again, a pathetic pout on his face. Realizing that he wasn't going to get anywhere with that, he turned back to the crab. "You know what I think? I think you're not the one I'd call crabby." Then he cracked up laughing.

I sighed loudly. "Are you done?"

He grinned at me. "Oh come on, John. You're no fun. Alan would've totally played along."

"I'm not Alan. I'm John. We have the same hair, but we're different people."

He spoke again to the crab as he placed it back on the sand. "I'm sorry, little guy. I guess you'll just have to fend for yourself..." As soon as the creature hit the ground, it buried itself and disappeared.

Gordon stood up and wiped his sandy hand on his shorts. "That kind of crab really does belong on the reef."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure there's a million more where that one came from."

My brother skipped up next to me. "Hopefully."

We resumed walking in silence. The stifling heat was getting to me. We were, what, 30 minutes from the house now, that meant 30 minutes back. Ugh. I picked at my sticky undershirt and pulled it back and forth, trying to get air to my skin.

"Do you think I should try again?"

Huh? "What? Try what again?"

"Doing a month on Five."

I stopped walking. "I'm sorry, the heat must have fried your brain."

He turned around and looked right at me. "John, I'm serious."

"Why...why...I...why on Earth, or not as the case may be, would you be thinking of putting yourself through that again. I mean, wasn't it you who told me yesterday that you didn't care what anyone thought, there was no way you were going back up there?"

He looked down at his feet as he drew a design in the sand with his toes. "I've never failed at anything before."

The first thing that came to my mind was the hydrofoil race. That would definitely fall in the 'failed' column. However, there was no way I was going to say, 'well, you failed when you crashed that hydrofoil'. That would have been extremely cruel. I settled for something a little less less hurtful. "Not true, you failed ninth grade English."

He stopped and scowled at me. "That's only because Mrs. HellonEarth hated me. And anyway, I passed it in summer school."

Mrs. Helan did hate him. Something about Gordon sitting on his knees in class instead of having his bottom on the chair. Apparently he used to bounce up and down, while repeatedly clicking and unclicking his pen. He also fell off the chair a few times, which disrupted the class. For some reason, she didn't like that. She had called my father about Gordon's activities at least once a week. At first dad took her side and told Gordon to make an effort to sit "like a normal human being" and stop with the constant moving. Telling Gordon to stop moving was like telling Earth to stop spinning. It couldn't be done. Then, at parent-teacher conferences she had suggested that my father put Gordon on medication. That was the end of that. Dad went ballistic and tried everything he could to get Gords out of her class. It didn't work. The new principal was going to back his teachers no matter who the parent was. The tests in her class were essays and therefore subjective. Between dad's threats and Gordon's high activity level, Mrs. Helan made sure that Gordon's answers did not meet her standards.

"I don't like having a failure on my record."

I sighed. "There is no record, Gords. And this shouldn't be such a huge deal. So you don't go on space missions, so what? Like you've said, there's plenty of us who can. And do you really want to anyway?"

He shook his head. "It's not about the practicality, it's about the fact that I let my fear beat me. It pisses me off. I'm just so mad!" He jumped up and down and kicked the sand. Then he swayed.

I ran to his side and braced him. His eyes closed and he slowed his breathing. "Sorry, just got dizzy."

Shocking. "I don't know why, considering you haven't eaten in five days and it's 110 degrees out here."

Carefully, he lowered himself to the ground and pulled his knees to his chest. I grimaced. He was sitting in wet sand. Obviously, I was going to have to sit next to him. I mean, the moment called for that. Ugh. Great. I was going to end up with a sandy wet stain covering my ass. Then I was going to have to hand wash these. If I put them into the wash with my other khakis, sand would be all over everything.

"John, if you're going to stand, could you at least move over a foot and block the sun from my head?"

I winced as I noticed the sun glare bouncing off his shiny skull. His skin was already turning red. "Did you put on sunscreen?"

He squinted up at me, covering his eyes with his hand. "Are you crazy? You think I'd come out here bald and not put on sunscreen?"

"Yes."

He made a face. "Alan reminded me when I was getting dressed."

I laughed. At least his head wouldn't burn. With a deep breath, I sat myself down along side him. I could already feel the water seeping through my shorts. Damn it.

He scrunched his left eye shut as he looked in my direction. "So seriously, do you think I should try again?"

I sighed. "I don't know, Gords. I guess, if it's something that you really feel like you have to do... But I totally think it's unnecessary. I mean, other than Scott- because I haven't spoken to him- I know nobody thinks of you any differently-"

"I think of myself differently. You don't understand. After the hydrofoil accident, when I defied all the odds, it was such a boost, you know? Like I could conquer anything. Now, there's something that I just allowed to beat me."

I would give pretty much anything to not ever watch someone I love suffer the way he had this past week. I paused, making a mental note that that was the second time in my life I had thought exactly that...and the other time had been about Gordon as well. But back to the issue, if Gordon really needed to do this for himself, I didn't want to be unsupportive.

I needed to respond to him. "Okay, look. There's a lot of people out there with phobias, astrophobia's not unheard of; it can be dealt with. Do I think you'd be able to spend a month on Five if you worked at it? Absolutely. We can consult with a psychologist and develop a training schedule using systematic desensitization. It would gradually increase the amount of time you spend up there and if you learn some coping skills, I'm sure you'd eventually be able to do the whole month. It would probably take a year or two, a lot of training time, and plenty of rocket fuel. And in doing that, you'd have to sacrifice your time for other things like diving, swimming, and vacations. But in the end, you'd be able to say that you spent a month on Five. Then, if you wanted to spend the month alone, that'd probably take more time. But yes, I have no doubt that you'd be able to do it."

He pulled his lips in as he took in what I said. "Do you think I should?"

I shrugged. "That's up to you. I have no need for you to do that. You're not impressing me; I know you'd be able to if you invested the time in it. I've already seen you do way more impressive things that have taken a similar amount of effort, like winning an Olympic gold and re-teaching your body how to use your muscles. So if you do it, you're only doing it for yourself. But if you want to do this, I'll support you any way I can."

He leaned his chin on his knees and looked out over the ocean. He sat there for a good five minutes, wiggling his toes, tapping his legs, and peering into the waves. I just sat next to him, watching the sunlight dance across the water.

"I really hate space."

I smiled, my eyes never leaving the ocean. "I really hate the heat."

I heard him laugh. "Not nearly as much as I hate space."

I chuckled. "That's probably true."

He put his hands over his face and flopped back onto the sand. "Ugh! I can't believe I freaked to the point that all my hair fell out!"

"Technically, it didn't all fall out. You shaved a lot of it."

"Minor detail, John. Urrrgghhh!"

I dodged flying bits of sand as he kicked his feet up and down and pounded his fists into the ground.

"I'm so mad! I can't believe I flipped out! Aaahhhhh! Stupid idiot! Dumb, pathetic, chicken shit! Damn it!"

I scooted two feet to my left- away from the soaring particles. Just as I had re-settled in my new seat, a blob of wet sand landed on my nose.

My brother stopped his tantrum, looking sheepish. "Sorry."

I wiped the dirty gob from my face and flung it onto the ground. Then I glanced in his direction. "Finished? Or is there more flipping out about the flipping out?"

"Yeah...I think I'm good for now."

"Good."

In one swift motion, my brother hopped into a standing position and then wobbled again. I jumped up after him. Before I could grab him though, he held up his hands to stop me. "I'm okay."

Then he spoke again. "It really doesn't make a lot of sense for me to invest the effort in it, not when I'm not really needed up there. If father told me I had to do it to stay in IR, then I would do it. But honestly, I'd rather spend the time improving Four and keeping up on the new advances in deep sea submersibles."

I nodded, brushing the sand from my rear. "That's probably a heck of a lot more useful to the rest of us as well."

"Maybe it's okay that I hate space and can't be up there. I mean, if I could do everything, what purpose would you guys have?"

I shot a look at his joke. "Nice. I'll keep that in mind. My only purpose is to fill in for your weaknesses."

He smiled. "As long as I can stay extremely knowledgeable and skilled at the underwater and deep sea rescues. I'll work as hard as I can for that. If I ever lose that expertise, it will not be for lack of effort. If there are things out there that I suck at, which obviously there are, then I really want to be one of the most highly skilled experts in my own field."

I understood. Gordon was right, he was the best, the top of his field. As I had told our father, Gordon was regarded by the best in the world as being the best in the world.

"Plus, I can always invest the time in later if I ever change my mind. At least I was able to stay up there four days, right?"

Well, three and a half, but I wasn't about to take him down again.

"And, I've had the training already. Like I said last night, if there was ever an emergency, I know I could do it. I'd be so focused on the crisis, I wouldn't have time to freak about floating away from Earth."

"A crisis wouldn't put you up there for more than a few days, the most, anyway. Any longer than that and it wouldn't be an emergency."

He didn't seem to like my answer. "I have to think about this. I might want to know that I can spend a full week without panicking. Just in case of something."

I thought of something else. "Uh, Gords-"

He waved me down. "I know, good luck convincing dad. I've thought about that. But from what Al said, dad's going to put in some tests to pass to be allowed to go up, so if I ever do pass the tests, it shouldn't be an issue."

"That wasn't what I was going to say."

"Oh. Sorry. What?"

"What I was going to say was, it's flattering that you're so worried about me and Al that you're willing to torture yourself to make sure that you could rescue us. You know, if Scott, Virgil, Dad, Brains, and whichever of us isn't in Five are ever incapacitated and whoever is in Five is in mortal danger. But, I think it may be a better use of IR's resources if, oh, I don't know, we put the time and effort into preparing a rescue method to get you if something happens in Four. Because right now, five people and Three can get to Five in an emergency. No people and no machines can get to Four."

"Just call WASP."

"Right, okay. Well, in that case, you don't need to worry about a rescue on Five- just call the ISP and they'll send a ship over."

He grimaced. "You may have a point."

We resumed our walk and I could tell from his demeanor that our talk had helped him. Although we were walking away from the house, we were also walking towards the back entrance to the hangar. Whether Gordon liked it or not, once we got there, our walk would be over. He wasn't feeling well and it was way too hot.

Out of nowhere, he started laughing. Believe it or not, that wasn't unusual behavior for him.

Noticing my stare, he explained. "I was just remembering my singing at three in the morning Monday night." He smeared his hands over his face and laughed at himself. "I was totally losing it."

"What song?"

He started to sing, dramatically no less... "The poor cook he caught the fits, threw away all my grits. Then he took and he ate up all of my corn. Let me go home. Why don't they let me go home? This is the worst trip I've ever been on. So hoist up the John B. sail. See how the mainsail sets. Call for the captain ashore, let me go home. Let me go home. I wanna go home. Well, I feel so broke up, I wanna go home."

I laughed. "Fitting song."

He wrinkled his nose. "Didn't help, just reminded me that I really wanted to go home."

I grinned at him. "You should've told me. I would've sung a more encouraging song for you."

His bare brow raised. "Yeah?"

I began my serenade. "In the town, where I was born..." The smile that lit my brother's face was totally worth my embarrassment. "...lived a man who sailed the sea. And he told us of his life, in the land of submarines. "

Gordon joined me. " So we sailed on to the sun, till we found a sea of green. And we lived beneath the waves, in our yellow submarine."

When we got to the chorus, we both sang at the top of our lungs. "We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, yellow submarine. We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine."

We stopped there, but the tune had done it's job. My brother was hopping along as I walked. Great thing about Gordon, he's so naturally positive- it's like a built-in life preserver. Difficult times drag him down, but he just pops right back up. He squinted over at me. "I love that song!"

As though I hadn't known that... "I know you do. That's why I sang it."

He was beaming and bouncing- all traces of his struggle the past week were wiped off his face. He looked at me again. He could blind someone with that grin. "I do live in a yellow submarine!"

Again, as though I hadn't known that. I rolled my eyes at him as I chuckled. "I know you do, Gords."

"That's why I asked for yellow. I mean, it serves no practical purpose."

"I know."

"But I asked dad if Four could be yellow because of the song."

"I know."

"I always wanted to ride in one."

"I know."

"And now I have a yellow submarine!"

"Gords...I know."

He had that look in his eye... Uh oh.

...And I was engulfed in a hug. Way too hot for that. I squirmed. "Get off. Gordon, it's too hot."

He released me, laughing. Ugh, the little shit did this purposely to annoy me. Now when we got back, he'd be going on about me hugging him on the beach. Not to mention he knew how hot I was. The gallon of sweat I was wearing was a clear indication. Pain in my ass.

I looked over and he was still grinning at me. "Thanks, John."

More with that? "Seriously, if you thank me one more time-"

"You're different than I always thought you were."

Huh? That completely stopped me. And he looked serious now too, which made it even worse. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged and swooped up a shell, playing with it as we walked. "You're more caring than I thought."

What the hell did that mean? He didn't think I cared? "You didn't think I cared?"

He was oblivious to how much his words were scaring me. "No, no. I knew you cared, but in a 'you're my brother so I'm supposed to' kind of way. I don't know. Maybe caring's not the right word." He threw the shell into the water and looked at me. "Warm?"

"What?"

He explained, "You're personality. I always thought of you as kind of cold, you know. Not in like a mean way, but you're very intellectual. And you have a sense of humor and all, so you can be funny, but I never knew how...warm and kindhearted you could be." He laughed. "John the kindhearted, makes you sound like a Knight of the Roundtable..."

I wasn't laughing. It hurt. It actually, physically, hurt me to hear him say that. Did everybody think that? And Gordon wasn't even sensoring what he was saying, like it should be no big deal. He thought I was a cold person? Is that how I come off? He thought I only cared about my family because I was supposed to? How could he think that? After everything we all had been through in IR and even before... I didn't even know what to say.

Gordon wasn't looking at me anymore, he was watching the waves crash in and scanning the line of debris they left along the shore.

Before I could process anything further, he continued. "You just never show your feelings much, so I guess I never really knew what you were really like. I'm kind of glad I was sent to Five. I got to know you and you're way deeper... like you feel a lot more than I think any of us ever gave you credit for."

I could actually feel my heart pounding in my chest. So it wasn't just Gordon. The thing was, part of the reason this conversation stung so much was because I always had felt removed from the group. Like I had told Gordon on Five, I always felt like Gordon and Alan were close and Scott and Virgil were close. I was just always more cautious and introverted; I wasn't a fun, run-around kind of kid. But my brothers were the people I felt closest to throughout my whole life. And now Gordon was telling me that they never really even knew me? So they're all good friends, but nobody knows me?

"John, what's wrong? You look upset."

I shook my head. "Nothing's wrong."

"You sure?"

I shrugged it off. "Yeah. No problems."

Gordon accepted it without a second thought. "Hey look! A sea krait!" I followed my brother's line of sight to about 20 feet out in the ocean. Sure enough, there was the black and white snake, floating on the water. I moved away from the waves.

Gordon saw me and laughed. "He's sunbathing 20 feet out, John."

"They're one of the most venomous creatures in the world."

"So don't stick your finger in it's mouth. He's not going to bother you. I swim with them all the time." He laughed. "I can't believe you're afraid of a sea krait."

I shot him a side-ways glance. "Really? You're making fun of me for being afraid?"

The smile vanished from his face and he looked almost frightened. He quickly shook his head. "No. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, didn't think so." Now that we were past the snake, I moved back toward my brother.

"Hey. You mind if we just go in here?"

I followed his finger to the mountain which housed our family secret. "Took the words right out of my mouth." I was dying of heat stroke, but Gordon wasn't usually bothered by extreme temperatures, which meant he really wasn't feeling well if he was opting to go inside as opposed to walk back on the beach.

I walked up to the side of the fake mountain facade and stepped on the hidden button buried in the grass. A piece of the mountain wall raised up, exposing the secret keypad. I quickly punched in the number/letter combo. A few seconds later, a rumbling vibrated the ground as the facade rose up and receded into the mountain.

When the wall was up, I turned to my brother- he was sitting in the sand.

Being the 'cold' person that I was, I was tempted to just go inside and leave him there. I pushed down the anger. Gordon hadn't meant to hurt me. He was just saying what he thought. With a sigh, I reached out a hand. He took it and pulled himself to his feet with a grunt.

Slapping him on the back, I pushed him forward into the hangar. Ahh, air conditioning. Goosebumps appeared all over my skin. The fact that I was soaked through with sweat and seawater only added to the chill.

Sounds to my left drew my attention to Scott and Virgil descending the staircase from Three. Ignoring them for the moment, I walked to the hangar's wall and hit the button to close the door. No point in wasting all that cool air.

"How'd you guys get here?" Virgil called out across the cavernous room.

My brother answered before I could open my mouth. "Teleportation. Brains just invented the machine and Gordon and I volunteered to try it out." He felt his head. "What? No hair! Oh no! Gordon, something must have gone wrong! We're in the wrong bodies!"

Where the hell did he come up with these things? Oh well, might as well play along. "Sorry, John. I think I'm keeping your body. You're way more well endowed than I am and I'd like to see what it feels like to be a real man for once."

He scowled at me. "Come on, John. You could at least come up with something believable."

I laughed. By this time, our older siblings had reached us.

Gordon questioned them. "So, how's the punishment going?"

No answer.

Gordon nodded. "Oh, so good then..." He zeroed in on Scott. "Hey Scott, when you get a chance, can we talk?"

"Scott's busy." Virgil answered.

Gordon held up his hands and backed away. "I'm not trying to steal him. I'm saying when he's free-"

"I thought you weren't feeling well." I still didn't know where Scott stood on what had happened on Five and I wanted to make sure he realized that Gordon wasn't all fine and dandy.

Gordon was looking at me as though my statement was irrelevant. "What's that got to do with me talking to him?"

Virgil threw in his own two cents. "Maybe you should just try to relax today, Gords."

Gordon's eyes narrowed and he looked between Virgil and I with anger. "What the hell are you two doing?"

We both literally backed up. Gordon is not known for mood swings or anger. I was wondering if the heat or lack of food was starting to affect his personality.

When we didn't answer he continued, pointing at Scott. "This is Scott. Scott. You remember him, right? Our brother... The guy who took care of everything when mom died... The guy who put his career on halt when I was in a coma... The guy who three weeks ago offered himself up as a hostage when a guy pulled a gun on Alan. You know him? Scott..."

I looked at Scott, who looked just as perturbed as we were, and then back to Gordon.

Still not receiving a response, Gordon glared. "Really? You're protecting me from Scott? Really? Let me give you guys a clue. Scott doesn't scare me. If he has something to say to me, then I want to hear it. And to be perfectly honest, I don't understand how everyone can be all, 'Oh, you're terrified of outerspace? Oh, well, that's okay, no big deal.' Because it's not okay and it was a big deal. I want to know what Scott honestly thinks and I don't want people pussyfooting around me. If he's got a problem with my actions, I want to know about it. I may not be one hundred percent, but I'm not a fragile piece of glass. And again, it's Scott."

I had no idea what to say. Although...Gordon had a point. It was Scott. And yes, Scott did have a temper and he wasn't always the most understanding, but he always looked after us. Okay, Gordon wanted to talk to him. Well then...

"Okay, so you two talk and I'll help Virg."

All three of my brothers seemed surprised. It was Virgil who spoke. "You sure you want to do that? It may invoke the wrath of Alan..."

I laughed, but I was willing to risk it. For the first time in 5 days, I looked at Scott. "If you guys want to talk, I'll cover for you...and I need to talk to you too."

He nodded. "Yeah. After Gordon?"

I agreed and Scott turned to Virg. "Is that okay with you?"

There was warning in his eyes. "Doesn't really matter what I think, does it?"

"Great! Let's go. Is it okay if we go to my room?" Gordon was wiggling his toes and bouncing on his bare feet.

Scott questioned him. "Where are your shoes?"

Gords shrugged. "With John's, on the patio."

Shaking his head in exasperation, Scott took my brother by the upper arm and spun him towards the large metal wall. Then, with a hand in the middle of Gordon's back, he marched them both to the elevator.

Once they were gone I turned to Virg. He was seething. Great, couldn't wait to work with him...

The verse of the song, Sloop John B. that was used in this chapter was written by Carl Sandburg, although the version featured here was as performed by The Beach Boys. No copyright infringement is intended.

The song Yellow Submarine was written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney. Again, no copyright infringement is intended.

In case anyone's curious, in real life, the Thunderbirds' 'Yellow submarine' came 3 years before the song.