Hey guys! I'm back with chapter 10! I have to say that I really like this chapter, and I hope that you guys will too!
Enjoy!
~Rachel POV~
I watched him as he stood at his locker, exchanging the text books in his book bags with ones from his locker. He removed his Spanish book and placed his math book in his book bag before he moved on to exchanging the notebooks he was carrying around with him.
Next, he did something strange. He made a quick glance around his area, as if to make sure no one was watching him. I quickly moved my glance away from him as his eyes scanned the area I was standing in. When the coast seemed to be clear his hands quickly plunged into his locker to grab something. He grabbed a pair of drumsticks and shoved hem deep into his book bag. He looked around once more before continuing his book bag and locker exchange.
I never understood why he felt the need to be so secretive about his passion for the arts. It's nothing to be ashamed of, if anything, being a musician only heightens one's social status. Then again, from what Finn told me, he doesn't want to have a high social status and is content staying under the radar. Still, music is his hobby, and he should express it.
I suppose I'm totally contradicting myself. I too am hiding something that makes me happy. But, even though music makes me feel alive in ways I can't even describe, it reminds me too much of Darrell and my past.
Maybe Sue's right. Maybe I am fit to be a maid for the rest of my life.
I noticed Tina walking up to me, waving as she got closer.
"Hey, girl," she said once she reached my side. "What's up?"
"The same thing that has been up," I replied, pointing over at Finn.
Tina's eyes widened, "You still haven't told him? Rachel! What are you waiting for? What did you do yesterday? I thought you were going to tell him!"
I held my hands up defensively, "I almost told him, but right as the words were coming out of my mouth Quinn had to come and yell at him about 'ditching' her at the dance. She came down the hall screaming 'Finn!' while I was in mid-sentence of telling Finn I'm Cinderella."
"Why is that girl so hung up on Finn?" Tina asked exasperatedly. "I can't see her as the type to be chasing after a guy that shows zero interest in her."
"That's just the point," I responded. "He shows zero interest in her, positive or negative. It's driving her insane because she can't stand knowing that she never even crosses her mind. She just wants to be known by everyone in the school. And plus, he's the quarterback, she's got it in her mind that the quarterback and the head cheerleader as supposed to date even if they have no feelings towards each other."
"That's so stupid! He doesn't even know her! She doesn't even know him! Why would he automatically want to date her?"
"Because Quinn is self-obsessed and conceited and thinks everyone should be bowing down at her feet when she walks by. In her mind, why wouldn't someone want to date her automatically?"
"I guess that makes sense," Tina admitted. "It's a shame though that she'll never be able to date him."
"Why's that?"
Tina began to smile, "Because by the time she gets around to pestering his again, he'll already be with you! I'm going to keep saying this until you actually tell him the truth Rachel, this is your chance. It's now or never!"
"Tina-"
"No, Rachel! Go and make me proud!"
Tina pushed me in the direction towards Finn and forced me to approach him. I turned around to give her a mean look, and Tina just smiled, winked, waved, and walked away in return. I rolled my eyes and proceeded to walk towards Finn, playing with my hair out of nervousness.
I was getting pretty close to him when I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"Hey, Cinderella."
I froze, knowing exactly who was behind me. This cannot be happening! I turned around and prayed this wasn't going to be as bad as it seemed.
"Quinn," I replied to my stepsister. How did she even find out? I was so careful. The only people that knew were Kurt and Tina, and neither of them would have told the truth to Quinn of all people.
"Do you think I'm an idiot?" Quinn asked me and she took a few steps forward.
"No, you're not an idiot. Why would I think you're an idiot?" I asked nervously, starting to feel cornered.
"You stood there and listened to me go on and Finn ditching me and how I plan to destroy Cinderella. Did you think I would never find out the truth? Did you think I'm not good enough to find out the truth?"
"No, of course not," I replied.
"You should really be more careful about your email account, Rachel. Leaving it open and unlocked while Brittany's in your room probably isn't the best idea. We know all about your little email relationship, Rachel," Quinn said. "What did you think was going to happen? Hide long enough to lure him in, then expose yourself, and expect Finn to love you? The pathetic loser servant girl? Rachel, he's the quarterback. He belongs with me."
"He doesn't care about popularity," I said to her. "He doesn't want that life."
Quinn scoffed, "Oh, please. Everyone wants that, Rachel. Even you! Everyone wants to be liked by everyone in the school. Being with me will boost Finn's popularity even more."
I shrugged my shoulders, "Okay, so what are you going to do to me? Destroy me? Well, news flash Quinn, you're already doing a great job of making my life miserable."
Quinn shook her head, "Destroy you? No, that would be to easy. It would be the easy way out. There would be no fun in that."
"So what are you going to do?" I asked worriedly.
"Just sit back and relax, Rachel, because you've got yourself a front row seat."
"What are you talking about?"
Quinn smiled. "It's obvious you really like him. And we just can't have that. So, as far as Finn's concerned, I'm Cinderella. I'm the one he's been talking to. I'm the one he danced with. And I'm the one who is living happily ever after. And the best part is you get to watch the whole thing happen." Quinn smirked and walked away from me, strolling over to where Finn was standing. I watched as she got his attention, and did her best to look nervous. She twirled her hair around her fingers and looked up into his eyes. I couldn't watch it anymore. I couldn't watch a heartless witch steal the only boy in the school that actually has a heart. I backed away from the spot in the hallway and ran down the hallway.
I wasn't sure where I was going, but I felt like I was being drawn somewhere. I kept running, trying not to cry. It felt like a magnet, a strong pull that I couldn't break. I was reaching for something, but what? I went through a hallway I had left abandoned for years, not knowing what I was doing there. It was wrong, but so right. It was abandoned, but still permanently etched in my heart. I swung open the huge red doors that had been shut for me for ages. The scent, the look, the feel came rushing back to me all at once. It was home, it was the past, and it was the future. I stood in the center, finally feeling alive and accepted.
It was the auditorium.
I stopped to catch my breath on the large and empty stage. My eyes widened as I took in my surroundings. The lights were dimmed above me, making the auditorium glow. The seats were empty, giving the room a cold feel.
Why was I here?
I wrapped my arms around myself. The room was so cold, quiet, and dark. I had never seen an auditorium like this. Every theatre I've even been to was filled with light and life. The warm and bright spirits of the performers brought the stages to life as they spread their passion around the room. It was all I ever wanted to do as a child, to bring a lifeless room to life with talent and joy. Now, it's been years since I've sung a single note. My vocal chords were dead and dry. They've been silenced for years by Sue.
No, it's not Sue's fault.
Everything I said to Finn, I should have said to myself. Singing is my passion. But, it's my own fault I let the fire go. I let Quinn, Brittany, Sue, and everyone push me around, and figure my life for me.
A song popped into my head. A tune I never quite understood until now. I softly began humming the tune, warming my rusty vocal chords up once more. My mouth opened, and I took in a deep breath, closing my eyes to let the sound flow out.
What have I done?
I wish I could run,
Away from this ship going under
My first few notes came out scratchy, but I powered through. I am worth something. I can do this.
Just trying to help
Hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Cause my best intentions Keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?
My confidence slowly returned, and allowed myself to sing with more power and energy as I quickened the pace of the song.
Can I start again, with my faith shaken?
Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes,
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?
So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air,
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair!
Yeah, I'll send out a wish, yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally someone will see how much I care
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take, to get it right?
To get it right?
As I held out the last note, I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I lifted my hand to wipe the salty tear from my face when suddenly I heard clapping from behind me. I spun around on my heels to see who had intruded on my private time.
I immediately recognized who the intruder was, "Kurt? What are you doing here?"
Kurt walked further into the auditorium and joined me on stage. He too had tears in his eyes. "I come here when I need some Kurt time." He wiped his tears away, "Rachel, that was breathtaking. I had no idea that you could sing like that, or that you even liked to sing. Why have you never shared this with me?"
I smiled, "I haven't sung in years, Kurt. I used to all the time though. I used to be just like you actually, dreaming of being on Broadway someday to share my talent and passion with the world."
"Why did you stop?" Kurt asked. "Rachel, you are amazing, what could have possibly made you stop?"
"Singing makes me feel good, or it made me feel good at least," I replied. "It reminds me too much of my past."
"Your past?" Kurt questioned.
"Kurt, there are things that I haven't shared with you. Things of my past that have made me who I am, but when Darrell died, I kind of shut them all away."
"Rachel, what are you talking about? Is everything okay?" Kurt asked in concern. "You know that you can tell me anything."
"I know, Kurt," I said to him. "I don't even know where to begin." I took a seat on the floor and motioned for Kurt to join me. When he took a seat next to me, I started with the story. "When I was little Darrell and I went on a trip to New York. At first, I didn't really think anything of it. I was young, and I didn't understand how amazing New York was. However, as soon as I saw a real Broadway show put on, I was truly amazed. The way they danced and sang, it amazed me. From that point on, I knew that I wanted to be on Broadway. As soon as Darrell and I returned home, he entered me in all sorts of competitions. I won most, if not all. I don't even remember anymore. Kurt, I had it all. I could have had it all, rather."
"What happened?" Kurt asked.
"Sue happened," I told him. "Darrell remarried, passed away, and my dreams were crushed. I love singing more than anything, but like I said, it reminds me too much of what could have been."
"Rachel," Kurt said softly, "You have got to stop letting Sue dictate your life. If what I just heard is your 'rusty' voice, then I promise that you are going to make it far, Rachel. You don't need Sue, Quinn, Brittany, or anyone else to choose your path for you. Don't look at singing as an anchor of your past, but instead the bright lights of your future. Someday, when you are staring in your own play, you'll finally be able to rub in their faces that you turned out to be a successful and incredible woman, while they're still living in the past."
I started crying again, but for different reasons this time. It was a thankful and happy cry. "Thank you, Kurt. Thank you for always being here for me."
He grabbed me and pulled me in for a big hug. "You're welcome my little Barbara worshiper, and I have to add that your username makes so much more sense now."
I laughed into his shoulder and pulled away from his embrace, "What do you say we get out of here? Go grab Tina, and do something that doesn't make us want to kill ourselves?"
"That sounds great," Kurt responded. We stood up from the floor and made our way towards the door. "Oh, wait, what happened with Finn?" Kurt asked anxiously.
I sighed, "Oh, just wait until you heard what happened." We left the auditorium as I began my story to go and find Tina.
Thanks to Kurt and my return to singing, I had a new feeling of confidence. And with that confidence, I had never been more determined to take Quinn down and get my man back.
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Song: "Get it Right" –Glee Cast