(A/N: Oh shit a THIRD update what is happening am I possessed? Also, Wow, made it all the way to ten chapters in a fic that wasn't even supposed to have multiple chapters lol. Idk if any of you are still holding out for Stalker-Senpai or The Android to be updated, but I've been thinking about completely starting them over? Stalker Senpai's chapters are weirdly short imo and im just stuck on The Android so why not scrap it and start over. Idk yet lol anyways enjoy! This chapter is a little 'quieter' I guess)
Onodera Ritsu felt like such an idiot.
So that was nothing new, in fact he felt like that quite often, but this time around he wasn't quite sure what to do about it.
It seemed so stupid at this point to not have said I love you directly to Masamune and yet here he was, in the midst of packing his things to get ready to move into a new apartment with his boyfriend who he hadn't even properly expressed his feelings to. It felt a bit out of order.
He had thought about saying it on Masamune's birthday, after or before proposing that they move in together, but he was already nervous enough and he didn't need another thing adding to his anxiety.
So, he had decided to put it off.
And off.
Andoffandoffandoffandoffandoff.
And now he was putting away his last book, closing the box up with a sigh.
He felt like at this point he was agonizing over nothing, but it never seemed like the right moment to say it. He wasn't even sure how he wanted to say it. Should it be casual and in between their typical bickering? Should it be over a romantic home-cooked dinner? On a date? During some dramatically appropriate moment like in the shoujo mangas they edit? No matter what, it all seemed wrong or just plain cheesy.
Ritsu's phone buzzed and lit up in his pocket.
Are you done packing yet?
Speak of the devil and he shall appear!
Ritsu had insisted on packing alone because although it made sense in theory to help one another out, Ritsu knew Masamune well and Masamune got easily-uh-distracted. He had gone as far as locking Masamune out, much to the older's displeasure, but Ritsu didn't trust him to stay on task. In the office Masamune may be an extremely efficient and focused editor, but in any other setting that focus tended to turn on to Ritsu. And Ritsu didn't need that while packing.
But, that hadn't stopped Masamune from periodically texting him. It was so boring to be alone when Ritsu was literally right next door.
For today, yeah. Ritsu replied. He wasn't completely packed up, but he was tired and he had made a good amount of progress so that was enough for him.
Am I unbanished then?
Ritsu rolled his eyes at the dramatic choice of words, smiling as he typed his response: No.
Too bad. Ritsu could almost hear Masamune scoffing through the phone.
Only moments later came a knock at the door and Ritsu opened it up.
"Now, you can't judge the mess because I am in the middle of packing." Ritsu warned.
"I'm sure I've seen your apartment in a worse state. Also, you'd be done by now if you'd let me help." Masamune said as Ritsu let him in. He removed his shoes, Ritsu shutting the door.
"I'd have less done by now if I let you 'help'."
Masmaune clicked his tongue. "You've gotten so mean over the years, you know that?" He said, making himself comfortable on Ritsu's couch.
Ritsu just smiled as he sat beside him. "Things wouldn't be as fun if I was nice all the time."
"I disagree."
Ritsu rolled his eyes because of course Masamune did. "Have you finished packing?" He asked.
"Yeah, though I'm sure there are some things I'm forgetting."
"The great Takano Masamune? Forgetting something?"
"I know, shocking isn't it?" Masamune laughed. "Smartass."
Ritsu stuck his tongue out in response, making Masamune's heart do a flip because damn it he was so cute.
"I missed you." Masamune said.
"W-We saw each other last night, idiot."
"So? I still don't really like being away from you, especially when you're right next door. Somehow that makes it even worse." Masamune said. "Did you not miss me?" He asked, making Ritsu squirm and blush a bit.
"Why do you love embarrassing me?" Ritsu huffed.
"I'm not trying to." Masamune replied, running his fingers through Ritsu's hair affectionately. "But usually I do love to do that." He added with a grin.
Ritsu pouted and crossed his arms, looking away from Masamune stubbornly. He tried very hard to ignore the way Masamune wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer.
"Are you excited?" Masamune asked.
"About what?"
"Moving in together, duh." Masamune kissed the back of Ritsu's head since the brunette still refused to look at him. Always so bullheaded. But Masamune knew how to maneuver around that by now.
"O-Of course I am." Ritsu said shyly before facing Masamune with a weak glare. "D-Don't make me say those kinds of things out loud when you already know that."
Masamune chuckled. "I just like to hear you say it." He smiled softly, his expression full of a genuine affection that Ritsu would probably never get used to.
Ritsu almost winced. He still hadn't said I love you and even though he was sure Masamune knew what Ritsu's true feelings were...
I just like to hear you say it
Ritsu took a deep breath and looked at his boyfriend straight on, which was mistake number one as his courage was meek in comparison to the emotions he could see past Masamune's eyes.
"Masamune, I..." He started, but panic overtook him quickly and caused him to falter. "I-I'm kind of hungry. D-Did you eat already or do you maybe wanna order something in or...?" Ritsu said a little off beat, making Masamune raise an eyebrow in suspicion, but he brushed it off. For now. But, he definitely did not forget.
"Sure, I could go for something to eat. Why don't we go out somewhere? Have a date night." Masamune suggested and Ritsu nodded shyly, trying not to let his disappointment in himself shine through.
He'd manage to say it, one day. He had to!
Masamune deserved better than hesitant and round-about confessions.
Another box full of books left Masamune's arms and landed on the ground with a soft thud. Although his arms hurt, at the very least it was the last of them.
"I didn't realize just how many damn books we have between the two of us." Masamune said.
"We probably should've checked if we had any doubles. We don't need a bunch of duplicates." Ritsu replied.
"We would've been able to do that if we had packed together."
"Well, now we can start unpacking together. Does that make up for it?" Ritsu asked, currently trying to think of how and where to begin, facing away from Masamune to look at his many box options.
"No. And there's no way in hell I'm touching another box today, so the unpacking will just have to wait till tomorrow." Masamune came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his forehead on Ritsu's shoulder.
"Maybe we should take a break." Ritsu said, Masamune's warmth making the idea all the more tempting.
"Mhm." Masamune hummed in agreement, kissing Ritsu's cheek and temple.
"But tomorrow we have to start. Otherwise we never will."
"We'll see."
"No, not 'we'll see', we have to."
"We'll see."
"Please don't make me regret this."
"You're used to living in a mess anyway, so what's the difference?"
"Jerk." Ritsu gently hit the arms that were still around him, but Masamune didn't budge, not that Ritsu really wanted him to. "If I'm so messy then why move in with me?"
"Because I love you, idiot."
Ritsu's body lit up to the tips of his ears, his whole face glowing red. He should expect answers like that at this point, but it never failed to make him lose his breath.
But, this was also another chance! After multiple failed attempts at confessing his feelings, Ritsu felt so exasperated and frustrated with himself. He'd build himself up, get to the point where he was ready to say it and at the last second get scared and back out. Not to mention that now seemed to be a time as good as any: in an innocent embrace, in their new home, in between their typical banter.
Maybe it wasn't over-the-top-romantic or meticulously planned, but maybe that was also a good thing? Or maybe it didn't matter? These kinds of things really shouldn't be this complicated, but Ritsu had a habit of overthinking things and making them complicated.
Ritsu set his hands on top of Masamune's, hoping that his boyfriend couldn't hear the way his heart was pounding against his rib cage.
"I-I love you too." Ritsu managed to say past his shaking nerves before holding his breath and waiting.
Masamune was very still for what felt like forever before he nuzzled into the crook of Ritsu's neck, smiling wide.
"Thank God, I thought I was gonna have to wait till my next birthday to hear that." Masamune said and Ritsu scowled.
"Sh-shut up, how do you always ruin the moment?" Ritsu complained, though it fell on deaf ears.
"I love you so much, thank you Ritsu, for giving this a chance." Masamune said and Ritsu was very glad he was facing away from him because he wouldn't be able to handle the smile he could hear in his voice.
"Th-There's no reason to thank me." Ritsu said as he looked down at their hands, Masamune's grip having tightened slightly around him, giving Ritsu a comforting squeeze.
"There are many reasons to thank you that you have no idea about." Masamune argued. "But I won't go through them all because I don't want you to explode." He added with a soft laugh. Ritsu gently elbowed him, though even calling it that was an exaggeration as it meant and caused no harm. "You know you're extra stuck with me now, right?" Masamune asked, his tone light and playful. Ritsu couldn't help but to smile.
"It's not like we're married." Not that they could get married either, at least not in Japan, and no Ritsu definitely did not think about that often!
"With how nervous that kind of thing makes you and how big of a deal you tend to make out of things, we pretty much are." Masamune smirked and Ritsu couldn't really argue. "Is this why you've been acting kind of weird?" Masamune asked.
"I've been acting weird?" Ritsu echoed.
"You're always weird in one way or another, but yeah." Masamune said.
"I'm not weird."
"Don't take it as an insult, it's one of the reasons I love you."
"H-How do you say that so easily?"
Masamune shrugged. "Cause I'm not weird."
"I think that it's weirder to be so calm all the time." Ritsu huffed.
"If you think that I'm always calm around you then I'm a good actor."
"What?" Ritsu frowned a bit in confusion, holding back a whine when Masamune turned him around because he had been very comfortable in that position! Plus, now he had to actually look at Masamune, which made this all the more embarrassing.
It also didn't help his embarrassment when Masamune took his hand and pressed it against his chest where his heart was racing.
"This is how I feel when I'm around you." Masamune said and Ritsu was both mortified and flattered because his boyfriend was so embarrassing!
"I-I will never understand how you say these kinds of things with such a straight face!" Ritsu stared at the middle of Masamune's chest so he didn't have to meet his eyes. "But..." He added, hesitantly looking up with rouge colored cheeks. "M-Me too."
Masamune smiled once more before he kissed Ritsu softly, Ritsu shyly but happily returning the gesture.
"I love you."
"...I love you too."