Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Characters belong to ABC Family and company.
Previously on Everyone Loves Em:
Hanna and Spencer walked in on Emily and Aria's online on-bed sexy-times.
Ch. 10 Online Dating/Hating
Hanna's POV – Aria's bedroom
"Skank!" I shout.
"But you haven't even seen what she look's like," Aria protests. Aria shoves the laptop in my face so I can take a look at a potential online hookup for Emily. Aria, Spencer, Emily and I are sitting on Aria's bed.
"Doesn't matter. Her name's Diamond. If your name is Diamond, you're bound to be a skank," I argue, pushing the laptop away.
"That's a little discriminatory," Emily tells me.
"You wanted my opinion and that's it. Deal with it."
"Fine, who's next?" Emily asks Aria.
"How about Shana?" Aria suggests. "She's also a swimmer for Oakwood High."
"Slut!" Spencer shouts.
"How can you say that?" Emily cries
"Look at how much skin she's showing," Spencer argues.
"She's wearing her swimsuit for competition," Emily counters.
"I don't like it," Spencer sulks.
"At least she's not wearing a rainbow bikini," I joke, unable to pass up the opportunity to take a jab at Spencer.
Spencer glares at me and mumbles something I can't hear.
"Look, this is obviously an A set up," Spencer continues. "Come on, she's hot and a swimmer. Of course A wants you to date her."
"You think she's hot?" Emily asks, a little surprised.
"Of course she is, that's what A wants," Spencer argues.
"Spencer's right. A is totally trying to catfish you," I agree.
"So you think this whole Shana profile is fake?" Aria asks.
"Of course it is. Shana doesn't even exist. A probably pulled that picture from the internet," I add.
"Fine, we'll move on," Emily says, annoyed. "Who's next?"
Aria pulls up another profile on her laptop.
"How about Heather? She looks cute," Aria says, passing the laptop to Emily.
"She really is," Emily agrees cheerfully. "Look, she loves horror movies too."
Nooooooooooooo! I shout. But no sound comes out of my mouth. That's just me screaming in my head. No way I'm going to let this Heather take away my horror movie snuggle fests with Emily.
"Let's have a look." I grab the laptop away from Emily before she can find any more things she has in common with this Heather.
I scan the lists of likes and dislikes, but don't find anything I can use.
"She hates dogs," I lie, quickly closing the profile so no one else can see.
"Wait, what? I didn't see that," Emily says, as she tries to take another look at the profile, but I've already closed it.
"She listed it as a dislike. What kind of person hates dogs? Not someone you should date Em," I continue.
"Alright, who's next then," Emily asks a little sadly.
Aria grabs the laptop back from me, giving me a suspicious look.
"Let's see here," Aria begins. "How about Sara? She likes long walks on the beach and she loves animals!"
"Liar!" Spencer shouts.
"Okay, how exactly do you know she's lying," Emily asks, a little bit irritated.
"Easy, everyone says they like long walks on the beach, but how many people actually do it?" Spencer argues. "It's like people who say they like dancing in the rain and yet as soon as they feel a sprinkle of water those same people go running for cover. So she's a liar."
"It's not like we're exactly the honest bunch," Emily argues.
"Doesn't matter. She'll only be interested in getting into your pants. Next!" Spencer shouts.
"Okay, fine," Aria continues. "How about Karen? She's beautiful, loves sports like you Emily, and blonde."
"Yeah, more like a blonde bimbo," I say with disgust.
"Hanna, you're blonde," Emily points out.
"Yeah, but I'm not a bimbo."
"But you're saying this Karen is a bimbo because she's blonde," Emily counters.
"No I'm not. I'm just saying she's blonde and she's a bimbo, so stop putting words in my mouth."
Emily shakes her head in frustration.
"But you didn't even see her profile yet," Emily pouts.
"Doesn't matter. Next!" I shout.
"Hold on a minute. I want to read more about this Karen," Emily whines.
Damn it. What if Emily ends up going out with this Karen. I'm supposed to be the only blonde girl in her life.
"Hey look," Aria points at the laptop screen excitedly, "She's an honour student, which means Hanna's wrong about her being a bimbo. She loves swimming and has a pet dog!"
Fuck!
"Let's have a look here," Spencer says, trying to grab the laptop away from Aria and Emily, but Aria's not having any of it.
"I don't think so!" Aria growls. "Every time Em and I like a girl you two find something wrong with her and start hating."
"That's not true," Spencer pouts.
"Yeah, what Spencer said," I grumble.
"Sorry," Aria apologizes. "I didn't mean to suggest you two had an ulterior motive or anything. I was just frustrated."
Crap. Aria knows somethings up. And I'm pretty sure with the way Spencer's been acting that she is a total lez. Fuck the whole she can't be a lesbian shit. She was just as pissed as I was when we thought Aria and Em were hooking up and she's just as annoyed as I am that we have to sit here and listen to Aria and Emily gush over these girls online.
"Ulterior motive?" Spencer wonders out lout. "Why would you say that?"
"Oh, no reason," Aria says, trying to blow Spencer off. "Let's just get back to finding Emily a girlfriend."
A/N: Will Hanna or Spencer ever approve of anyone Emily wants to date? Who do you want Emily to end up with? Please let me know. I also love hearing what made you laugh, it really encourages me to write more. So please review! And no I'm not dead, just got busy. Lol. And a happy 4th of July to my neighbours to the south!