A Man Out Of Time
By MarqueeMoonGirl
part TEN: Accidents Will Happen
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Aggravated - spare for days
I troll downtown the red light place
Jump up bubble up - what´s in store
Love is the drug and I need to score
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Several large pipes nosily rumbled overhead in the bunker's boiler room as 2D, Russel, Noodle and Mud stopped at the entrance to Level Zero. Murdoc's skinny legs dangled down from the pipes, his demonic eyes staring down at them. On his shoulder was Cortez.
Grinning wickedly, Mud grabbed Murdoc's ankle and yanked on it hard, eliciting a hiss from the demon. "C'mon, old man."
Murdoc growled something that almost sounded like 'forty is not old', but he dropped from the pipes and glided into Level Zero.
The four humans followed him in, gasping as a wave of heat pushed past them.
"I'd forgotten just how hot this place is." Noodle said, flushed, looking at the fiery pit in the center of the room.
"I think it's gotten hotter since the last time we were in here." Russel said, taking off his hat to wipe his forehead.
2D's blue hair was already plastered to his head with sweat. "Oof. Me too."
Mud was also staring at the Hellhole with wide eyes. "We're supposed to go down that?!" He asked incredulously. "How? We'd get burned to a crisp!"
Noodle looked up as Murdoc flew over so that he was directly over the Hellhole. He made a fist with his hand, and then thrust it into the Hellhole.
2D gasped. "Murdoc, no!"
Shooting the singer an irritated glance, Murdoc pulled his arm out of the Hellhole unscathed, small drops of red-hot magma running down it. He picked a small animal skull up from the charred ground surrounding the pit and held it inside the Hellhole for a few seconds.
When Murdoc brought the skull out, it hadn't been harmed at all.
With a small smirk, Murdoc dropped it back in. The four watched silently as the skull crumpled into ashes as soon as it left Murdoc's hand.
"OK then." 2D gulped. " I guess we'll just have to not get separated from Murdoc once we go down the Hellhole." He shuddered, thinking about the skull disintegrating. "Ever."
Murdoc flew back and roughly landed on the concrete stairs leading down to the Hellhole. Cortez, perched on a small security camera pointed at the Hellhole, cawed and then flew over the Hellhole, lazily circling it.
Then the raven shot down into the fiery crater.
Noodle gasped. "Cortez!"
The hellhole rumbled, gently at first but with growing aggression.
"That's not good, is it?" 2D shouted.
"No. The Hellhole rumbling is never good." Noodle shouted back.
"Great."
Something rocketed out of the Hellhole, much too big to be Murdoc's pet raven. Two sets of wings quivered as the magma rolled down the figure's back.
What was crouched in front of the Hellhole was most certainly a demon. Its bulbous eyes blinked up at the group, allowing them to see its face. Unlike Murdoc, this demon was truly monstrous. Its dark red face resembled a dog's, and two long horns poked out of its head. After a few moments, it stood up, revealing its most noticeable asset.
Noodle looked away, feeling herself blush.
"Holy shit, that's a colossal penis." Mud blurted out. His eyes went wide as his thoughts clicked into place. "Hey, you're that demon! The one who has that statue outside of this place. Panfluflu…or something like that."
"Pazuzu. Yes. That would be me." The demon's voice sounded light and airy, and not at all like Murdoc's guttural voice.
Noodle looked up at the demon."…I think I see. You are Cortez." Noodle said. "Why would you pretend to be a bird?"
"An appropriate form for the Demon King Of The Four Winds, I think. And why? To protect Murdoc, without his knowledge, per the Big Guy Downstairs' orders."
Murdoc frowned, while Mud snorted, looking at his older self's large wings. "Yeah, well, you didn't do a very good job."
Pazuzu's brows shot up in surprise, and it approached Mud.
Grimacing, Mud stared at the demon, wrapping his fingers around the hilt of the knife.
"This is…very interesting." Pazuzu circled the teenage boy, looking down at him. "I didn't see this before. A raven's eyesight is not very good." It said, its eyes little slits. "A little far from home, aren't you, Murdoc? Two and a half decades too far."
"What does that matter? Everything else's gone nutty around here." Mud spat back.
Noodle reached out and touched Mud's bare arm. The teenage boy looked at her, and sighed, allowing her to address Pazuzu. "We would like to get Murdoc turned back into a human. He thinks we can go down the Hellhole and do something, I do not know what, to change him back."
Pazuzu looked thoughtful. "Maybe. Getting you down to Hell would be a little tricky, but it's doable."
Russel sighed in relief. "Oh, that's great. So how do we get down there?"
"Well, that's quite simple. You die."
2D, Russel, Murdoc Noodle and Mud stared at Pazuzu in undisguised horror.
"What? Is that a problem?"
"Well, yeah actually. I think we were kind of hoping for a, you know, non-lethal way to get down there." Mud said. "Plus, if I die now as a teenager, I won't grow up to be turned into a demon and go down to Hell in the first place. Then all of the known universe would implode upon itself from the paradox, which I'm sure would be a huge inconvenience for The Big Man Upstairs and His Opposite Number to sort out."
Pazuzu scratched its chin with a claw. "…Yes. You have a point."
Mud smiled at Noodle. "See?"
"…We'll just have to leave you behind."
Mud let out a frustrated scream. "Look, we already know that anything Murdoc touches doesn't get burned by the Hellhole. Which is a direct gateway into the bowels of Hell. Can't we just go down that?"
Pazuzu's wings drooped. "Oh. I…erm, hadn't thought of that." It looked almost embarrassed. "Of course that would be a more appealing option to you." The demon eyed the small group. "Hmm. But I see a small flaw. Even with Murdoc helping me, I doubt we could get all of you down, at the same time. You, in particular." It pointed towards Russel. "I'm sorry, but your girth would be too much for either of us to handle, and we can't make two trips. You'll have to stay behind."
The drummer looked away, saddened. "I figured as much."
"Russel-san, I'm sorry." Noodle said.
"No, it's alright, guys. I'd probably just slow the rest of you down. This way I can keep an eye on Kong. Make sure nothin' explodes while you're all down there trying to get Murdoc's humanity back."
"All right then. Let me see." Without warning, Pazuzu scooped up 2D and Mud underneath its arms, resulting in an indignant 'HEY!' from the teenaged boy. Its wings took a few experimental flaps to test the weight. "This is about my limit. Murdoc, you'll have to carry the girl."
Not looking at Noodle, the demon bassist kneeled down. Trying to avoid touching the thin membrane of his wings, Noodle lightly climbed onto Murdoc's back, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Russel tapped Murdoc's shoulder. "Look. If things start getting bad down there, for once in your life, don't be a selfish bastard, man. Don't forget, that's what got you into this mess in the first place."
Murdoc scowled and looked away, snarling something unintelligible but no doubt nasty.
"Excuse me, ladies?" Mud said irritably, dangling from Pazuzu's arm. "Can we get on with this?"
Still scowling, Murdoc flew over to the Hellhole. Pazuzu extended a bony arm. "After you, my friend."
Noodle clenched her arms tightly around Murdoc's neck. "Go!"
On that word, Murdoc's wings folded neatly, and he dove face first into the hole.
Noodle cried out as the intensity of the hellfire assaulted her eyes. Squeezing her eyes firmly shut, she felt waves of heat rush over her as Murdoc glided down the Hellhole.
Then it was over.
Noodle cautiously opened her eyes, and immediately wished she hadn't. Trying to blot out the image of a damned soul being lowered into a pit of volcanic lava from her mind, she looked back as Pazuzu dropped down from the Hellhole. Noodle gasped. A deathly-pale 2D clung to one arm, trembling. But there was no sign of Mud.
"The firestorm was more intense then I expected." Pazuzu explained hurriedly. "I barely managed to keep my grip on this one. The other …slipped away."
Noodle's mouth formed the word 'no', but she found herself unable to speak.
Murdoc roared something at the demon, but was interrupted by a loud thump behind him.
Lying flat on his back, directly underneath hellhole's exit, was Mud, untouched by the Hellhole's extreme heat and fire. He sat up, looking very disoriented. "OK, how the fuck am I not dead?"
END: part TEN
MarqueeMoonGirl SEZ: Sorry for the delay. I have a lot of schoolwork (and college stuff) to work on, and they ate into my free time like you wouldn't believe.
Chapter title is from Elvis Costello's 'Armed Forces' album, and the lyrics are Roxy Music's 'Love Is The Drug'. No reason why I picked it, I just like the song. :D
And as always, reviews are really really nice.