I'm baaack! Sorry about the sporadic updates. Two jobs keep me busy. I've been working on a crime novel as well, not sure it's good enough to get published, but I guess we'll find out once it's finished and I submit it. As always, thanks for the support y'all constantly give my stories.

Chap. 10

Sam watched as Dean and John popped the hood on one of Bobby's old clunkers. If they could get it running, Bobby knew a guy willing to pay a hefty price for it. The old guy wanted to restore it to its former glory with his grandson. Sam had no doubts that his dad and Dean could get it going. They were both good with cars. Dean was good with a so many things. Cars, electronics, Latin, even if he wouldn't let Sam tell anyone. Dean could see puzzles where Sam himself couldn't. He could find solutions to them before Sam himself could. Of course, he'd sworn to secrecy about that years ago.

"I see he gets the car bug from John."

Sam slid over on the step to make room for Vera.

"Yeah, since I can remember, Dean's been a car nut."

Vera wanted to probe the youngest Winchester for information. He seemed to be the most open of the three of them. She knew he'd be willing to talk to her, whereas John would take some convincing and several shots of whiskey, and Dean would just clam up entirely.

"I guess he's more like John than I thought."

Sam sipped his beer and grinned. If Vera wanted information, she'd come to the right Winchester.

"He's really not. Dad says he's more like our mother, and Dean says that I'm too much like Dad. I guess that's why we but heads so much."

Vera knew Mary Winchester had died in a fire when Dean was just four years old. He still retained some memories of his mother, whereas Sam would never have them.

"Does Dean ever talk about her?"

"Not often and I don't pry. It's obvious that talking about her or the fire still bothers him. Dad says when I was a baby, Dean used to tell me about her. I don't know why he stopped."

"Did John ever talk about her?

"No. It's just recently that he's started talking about her. I used to ask questions about her, but he never answered them. Dean would sometimes, if Dad wasn't around. He looks so much like her. I think he feels guilty about that."

"About looking like your mother? Why?"

"Bobby said Dad had a really hard time with her death. That was his wife, who wouldn't? But I get the feeling from Bobby and Dean, although Dean will never say anything, that it wasn't easy for Dad to see Dean right after."

"But looking like your mother is something he can't control. Why would he feel guilty about that?"

"Because it hurt Dad. Inadvertently, but it still hurt him. I guess tiny Dean somehow picked up on that. Dean has always taken things on himself, even if they weren't his fault. Anyone who's known him for more than twenty minutes can see that."

Vera thought about everything she knew about Dean Winchester. The kid had issues. Hell, he all kinds of issues; mommy issues, daddy issues, guilt issues, self-esteem issues, control issues, addiction issues. Vera wasn't saying Dean was an addict now, but if he didn't get help dealing with his other issues, he would more than likely turn to the bottle. She had seen part of his coping when she'd first arrived. He'd been drowning himself in liquor hoping to forget. He wasn't as bad now, but she occasionally saw the struggle in his eyes. She was certain the only thing keeping him from completely losing his shit now was Sam. His protective instinct overrode his need to self-medicate.

"Sam, I want to get the three of you and Bobby together for a session soon. Dean needs to know that John won't dismiss this and that you and Bobby won't push him to deal with it. I think I may start having a session just for him and then one with all four of you. He feels alone in this, Sam."

Sam finished his beer and sat the bottle on the porch step in front of him. Truthfully, Sam suspected Dean felt alone in most things. No one had ever taught him that it was alright to ask for help. John Winchester had the same problem.

Sam glanced out into the yard at his family and smiled. John Winchester had asked for help when it counted. Dean was surrounded by the people who loved him when he needed that the most and Vera was here to help with whatever issues came up. Why couldn't the great John Winchester have asked for help when Dean was younger and going through a hell no one should ever experience? Sam would never understand how the man could be so causal where his child was concerned.

"He's trying Sam. He has some guilt too, you have to know that."

Shaking his head, Sam felt his guilt rise up. They had all failed Dean, there was no denying that, but he had tried to help. John had just assumed Dean was fine and could take whatever was dished out.

"He should feel guilty! Dean needed him and he wasn't there."

"I think you and your dad have as many issues as Dean. I'd like to get the two of you to sit down with me before this is all over."

"Good luck getting Dad to go for that."

"John told me he'd do whatever it took to make things better for you and Dean. He knows he fucked up, Sam. He can't make up for that, but he can try to be better now. Let him. He's your father, the only one you're going to get. You guys have already lost you mother, I'm just asking you to make the effort with John."

"That might take some time. I hate what he's done to Dean, but you're right he's still our father and Dean needs him now."

"Dean needs so much right now, Sam. He's more fragile than he lets on. You already know that, though, don't you? I know Bobby sees that. I'm hoping your dad eventually understands that. Dean's tough, he's had to be, but he's human. I think Dean has the most problem with that. He can't let himself be anything even close to vulnerable. We both know why. So does he, he just won't admit that."

Sam laughed and stood up, grabbing his empty beer bottle in the process.

"That's why you're here."

Vera watched him as he entered the house and smiled. Dean had done a wonderful job with him. John should be proud of boys. Dean made sure Sam turned out fine. Now it was time to get Dean to understand that he had a right to be ok too.